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What does it mean when a man tells you that a woman comes 5th in their life after faith, children, career, and taking care of their family? Does it mean he doesn't want a relationship even though he says he would like to have one someday? How should a woman go about this to avoid getting hurt?

You're supposed to be your man's first and foremost priority. If you're not, then I don't thing you should stay in the relationship. You deserve the best man out there who will treat you like a princess, so don't settle for someone who treats you any lower. I mean, putting faith and career and all that before you? You deserve so much better. He's not worth another minute of your time.

I've been in a relationship before where I had to settle for so much. I tried so hard to impress this guy, and then he just dumped me. It was really hard, but now there are men lined up who would give anything to be with me, and they would do anything for me. I'm so glad this guy isn't in my life anymore, because I realize now how much I was giving up just to be with him.

He was not treating me like a first priority, like your man. Friends and career came before me. That's not a healthy relationship. That's a relationship that's doomed to fail. Get out of it, and find a man who will cherish you and treat you as his first priority.

Good luck :)

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What does it mean, when my friend ask me if i am a virgin or not?
i have friend that asked me if i live together with my boy friend or not. and i am a virgin or not. what does he mean?
he seems like me, but i m not sure. what do you guys think?

i have boyfriend, and he knew that i have boyfriend. but why he still ask me that question. my answer is no. after that he said, virgin is not everything, but he just wants to know why want to did it. but he said, i am fine, virgin or not.
what do you guys think?

He's disrespectful, that's what he is. And yeah, I get that a lot too. Frankly, I tell them it's none of their business. Remember that being a virgin shows that you're the one in control, and it's something to be proud of. But anyone who asks such a question is disgusting.

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20/f - I was just wondering if it's normal to no longer have feelings for someone but hate the thought of him being with someone else. I realize that I am being incredibly selfish having such thoughts, but I don't know how to get over feeling like this. We broke up about a year and a half ago, and we've discussed getting back together, but it was never successful (either I'd want to but he didn't or he'd want to but I didn't). Even though I'm the one who broke it off after 2 years together, it took me a long time to stop hurting and accept the fact that I ended it because I was no longer happy in that relationship. I'm pretty sure that I'm over him because I'm aware of all the reasons that we were wrong for each other, but the thought of him with someone else really bothers me and eats at my thoughts almost every day. If it's not normal to feel this way after a breakup, especially since so much time has passed already, please tell me so that I can know how crazy I am for feeling like this and work on truly moving on.

Great news! This is absolutely 100% normal! First of all, let me explain that post-break-up emotions are totally unpredictable and it's okay to feel a million contradicting emotions at once. Love and hate, longing and apathy, etc. Going through a break up and breaking up with someone are both very painful experiences. I should know that, since I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. I didn't thing that I would suffer too, because after all, I was the one who ended things. I convinced myself that I was totally over him, and things were going great for a while, but then out of nowhere, I started berating myself why I broke up with him and I wanted to get back together. It's been a year, and it's still painful to think about it. But I too had my reasons for breaking up, and I know that getting back together is not an option. So it's good that you know your reasons.

You two had a relationship going for you once. You were in love. You each gave each other your heart and soul. You'll never be able to completely detach yourself from someone that was once such an important and dear part of your life. Yes, you no longer have feelings for him, and you might be ready to move on, but he used to be dear to you, and seeing him fall for someone else, man that's got to be very tough.

Don't tell yourself that you are crazy. You are human, and this is painful for you. You can visit: howtogetoverarelationship.com, it's a great website, and they teach you great methods of how to move forward and be ready for your prince when the time comes.

Good luck! Hope I helped :)

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Hey! So I recently bought a shirt that says free hugs because I thought it was cute and funny. I am now thinking that maybe it was a bad thing to do. Will people think it means something "naughty" if you know what I mean? Or take it in a "naughty" way. Like if you saw someone in the mall with it on or in public, would you think it makes them look kind of bad? So overall, would it be better to wear it around friends instead, or is it okay to wear it in public once in a while?
Thanks! :) xoxo

I think it's just a sweet shirt. I don't think people will take it literally. If they do say something they're joking. I have a shirt that says "kiss me". And no, I don't want anyone to kiss me. It's just funny.

Good luck :)

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Is it ok to commit suicide for unselfish reasons. i know the people who love me will be hurting emotionally but if I kill myself they will receive 2 million dollars. Right now we have almost no money left with no income coming in. I'm in constant pain due to a failed surgery and pretty much stay in bed all day ( I am 49 years old). I'm not afraid to die because I know I will see my son who died 3 years ago and I miss him so much, but I am afraid of pain or not succeeding and becoming a vegetable and not having my family collect my insurance. I still have a 17 year old son at home and he has one year left in private school, right now I can't afford his tuition. We won't have money for food soon. My husband of 9 years tries very hard he started a company but hasn't made money in years. I took a look at my policy and it does pay if I kill myself after 2 years. I've had the policy for 6 years. I don't want to die but I want to help my family and this seems like the only way i can help them. I am so afraid of us running out of money. Please help me get the courage I need to do this and help me figure out the best and least painful way to as well.

Killing yourself will not help your family. You're worth so much more than money. Money will be worthless if you give your life for it. Things might be tough right now, but trust me, eventually they'll turn out okay. I've been in lots of seemingly hopeless situations, and I fiercely believed the situation won't turn around, and I was wrong every time.

Please go get help. You seem to be depressed, and it's not fair that you should have to live under such difficult circumstances.

Regardless of what people say, people who are suicidal are never selfish. It's a totally ridiculous claim. They are hopeless and in the deepest of despair. The pain of a suicidal person is unbearable. Don't settle for the pain, and don't give up hope or on yourself. You are mightily strong, and you will pull through this!

Good luck and I hope things get better fast :)

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My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a long time without protection because we always trusted each other,and we swore not to ever cheat on each other.The thing is that lately, things are no longer the same and I'm afraid that he might be cheating on me,and that I might be making a mistake.It's no longer a loyalty matter right now,but a healthy matter actually.I don't know what to do cause if I ask him to wear a condom,I know that he'll feel frustated and he won't trust me either at the same time.Is it wrong what I am thinking?I need some advice,thanks!

Whether he's cheating or not, he needs to wear a condom! Feelings and frustrations put aside, not wearing a condom is irresponsible unless you wanna get pregnant or an STD. This has nothing to do with trust, it's about health and remaining safe. Always have protected sex! Otherwise the repercussions will be devastating.

Good luck :)

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16/f
ok ive never had a bf in my whole life and my friends are startin to pick on me and my mom is startin to worry about me never havin a bf. Is this normal cause im not sure ive just never met 'the one'. My friends go out with people all the time and try to hook me up with people i dont even know. Guys ask me out but i just dont have the heart to say yes. Is this normal, to be 16 and never have had a bf in whole life?
Please any advise will be very thankful!!

Absolutely normal.I had my first boyfriend when I was 16, and not a moment too soon. Everyone I knew had already had a history of trouble with guys, and I was perfectly content being single. Ever since the day I got my first boyfriend, life has been full of boy trouble. So enjoy yourself while your heart's still intact, and trust me, there's a guy out there who's perfect for you. Don't go out with any loser just because of peer pressure.

Good luck :)

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is it normal for a woman to see her periods twice in a month?

It's normal. Periods are unpredictable sometimes. You're probably stressed out. Try to relax, it's happened to every girl I know. Sometimes you get your period late, and sometimes you get it twice in a month. Stress plays a key role. If it persists, visit your doctor. I don't believe it will, though.

Good luck :)

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13/female
Hi my boobs are already a size 36 D and all the boys in my skwl

I was in the same situation when I was thirteen, and they haven't grown much since. Let me give you a piece of advice: these boys are using you up for their personal pleasure, and taking advantage of you. Don't let them do it anymore, and don't go out with these guys. They don't want you, they want your boobs.

I've been sexually harassed a lot because of my boobs, and each time, I made sure the boy who did it wouldn't forget what he did for the rest of his life. They're really afraid of me. As opposed to when I was younger, everyone would make fun of me, and I let them get away with it.

Your boobs can only get that big, I don't think they'll grow much anymore.

Good luck and be tough ;)

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I am only 12, and I have only been emotionally dead for about 3 years. I only told my mom today about it but she doesn't believe it. She doesn't believe that all the smiles, laughs, tears, pain, anger have been fake. I hate it. I hate that I can't do anything to stop this or cure this, but I've grown not to care. But I WANT to care. I do. I just can't.

I also felt like that a little less than two years ago. I was severely traumatized by a murder, and I turned to stone, literally. No body believed me, and they thought I was only saying it to get attention. I didn't know it could be cured. But it can be. I strongly urge you to go get help. In my case, I had to be given medication (not because of that) and suddenly I started to feel again. I started to love, and care, and be human again.

You probably witnessed or experienced a traumatic event, and you've never gotten over it. Sit down with your parents and explain to them that it's true, and you want to get help. If they don't believe it's true, you can use my example, such things exist. I think turning to stone might be a way your brain tries protecting you from experiencing the terrible trauma again. It's not normal though, and it's so freaking annoying. I know all about it. People always asked annoying questions. "If you can't feel, then why are you laughing?" blah blah blah...

You don't know what you're missing out on! Get help now, and start living again!

Good luck, I hope things get better fast :)

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My ex left me in the past and we got back together after 6 months things was perfect she has bipolar and stopped taking her meds and kind of flipped saying she can't give me what I need and want in a relationship she says she cares about me and said out of respect shed tell me if she hooked up with someone outa respect but isn't thinkin or wantin to do thank love her to death and don't get it what is going on and how can I get her back

It's super dangerous when someone stops taking their meds in bipolar. That's probably the reason why she let you down. I know a case where someone had a great relationship with her bipolar boyfriend, and then he decided he was doing well, and stopped taking his meds. He started harassing her and being really really mean to her. She didn't know what the hell to do with him. One day she decided she'd had enough, and told him if he didn't take his medication, they were through. He started taking it, and he was a new person. I'm bipolar and I know for a fact that if I ever stopped my medication, no matter how much I love my boyfriend I'd probably do such hurtful things to him that we'd break up. It's not because I choose to. It's just the way a bipolar brain works. If you're not sedated by medication, you have zero control over what you do, and yes, in a lot of cases you break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend or you're so freaking rude that they can't live with you anymore. You can't think clearly, the bipolar makes all the decisions.

I can't stress enough how crucial it is that you try to convince her to start taking her medication again. If she doesn't listen, tell her family to try convincing her. Before you know it, things can get out of control, and the person that will suffer the most will be her. As you say, you love her to death, so do the nicest thing you can, and get her to take her medication one way or another. If she has to be strapped to a chair, and have the pill shoved down her throat, so be it, but she needs to take it.

Once she can think clearly again, speak her own words, and think her own thoughts, she'll probably realize her mistake, and get back together with you.

Don't feel hurt by what she's done, because she doesn't mean to hurt you or anyone else. She just has no control over what she does or says.

I wish you all the best. Good luck :)

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hi.how are you?i am going through a really bad time.i am 22 years old and in a relationship with a girl from past 3 years we fight alot but from last 17 days she has started loving a friend of mine and she told me this herself.she even told this to that friend of mine but now he is ignoring her because he is in love with some one else.i love this girl alot and seriously cant live without her but she is all the time talking about that friend of mine and crying because of him.this thing is hurting me alot i feel like killing my self.pls help me out of this.

Hey there! I know how awful it feels when your partner suddenly doesn't love you anymore. I know the awful feeling of rejection and I know about the pain. You have to remember that you deserve the best girl out there. This one isn't worth your time anymore. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally and only you. And believe me, she is out there, and waiting for you. If your girlfriend treats you anything but as a first priority which in this case you're not her priority at all, then it's time to think about ending the relationship. Why should you settle for something less than the best? It will be painful living without her but the minute you will look into those eyes of your true lover it will all be worth it. I am exactly quoting a lot of people I know that have gone through what you have, and now have had their fairy tale ending. It was only made possible because they left those jerks they were with. Remember she isn't worth your time, and certainly isn't worth your life.

Good luck and I hope things get better :)

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so im going to probably dump my girlfriend but i dont know a way to tell her in an easy way.

i would like to be with her but she kind of tries to control a little bit of my life. i know a girl that has a HUGE crush on me but i dont want her to think thats the reason.
(im 14) do you have any advice??

Well dude, sorry to inform you of this, but there really is no easy way to break up. Breaking up is painful and it really really hurts. One thing you can do is break up face to face. Breaking up over the phone, in a letter, or such is the worst thing you can ever do.

Even though you can't break up easily, you can break up truthfully. Tell her exactly the reasons why you are breaking up. Let her know that you'll forever cherish the times spent with her, and that you wish her all the best, but now your time is over. Giving her a hug afterwards might be a great idea or it might be the worst thing ever. It depends how she reacts. When my boyfriend broke up with me, I ran into another room and tried to lock the door, but he ran after me and quickly opened it, and he hugged me, and said: "it's not because of you... you didn't do anything wrong." It made me feel better.

It's very hard to find the courage to break up with someone, I know that, since I've had to make that decision once. I have to warn you, even if you hate the person you break up with, like in my case, there's gonna be times when you'll feel really sad and regret breaking up with them. There are gonna be times when you'll really really miss them. Just always remember that you deserve the best girl out there, and try not to look back. I wish you all well, you have a difficult task ahead of you... I hope everything turns out alright.

Good luck :)

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Okay well first off, we aren't dating yet. We dated for a while and broke up. We worked out our differences and are almost 100% sure we are getting back together, just not yet because we wanna be friends for a little while. But we still kiss. We both have never done more than that. He wants to have sex but I don't feel like I am ready for that because of a few reasons. First off we are both 15, I am almost 16. Second, I don't want to risk getting pregnant, I have my whole life left to live! Third, we aren't dating yet, I don't want to have sex with someone unless I love them and they feel the same. I REALLY like him but idk if I love him yet. I feel like sometimes I do but I am 15 I don't know what love feels like. I feel like if I did end up having a kid, I would be able to take care of it but I don't want one now. Most of my and his friends have had sex and he feels like we are both missing out on it. But anyways my question is, what should I do? I don't think I am ready and I told him that but I feel bad because he really wants to. But that's also my choice to make, not his. Help!

Let me tell you this, you are very smart to realize all those consequences of having sex. At fifteen, you are not ready. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM! You don't want to risk getting pregnant at such a young age, and the minute you open your legs, you need to be prepared for every possibility. Getting pregnant is a real possibility.

Remember that sex is never the answer. Sex is the question and yes is the answer. Your answer is no, and he should respect that. Wait until you are older and the right guy comes along, and you'll be so happy and proud of yourself that you waited. Having sex at fifteen is always something you regret later on in life.

I know that in today's world it's hard to resist, but remember that being a virgin shows that you're the one in control. That's something to be immensely proud of!

Just as a side note, the fact that he wants sex before you two are even back together shows that something is wrong with him. I wouldn't date such a guy. Where's his dignity?

Good luck :)

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i was in a 7 year relationship and got married last year.and throughout my relationship.i worked hard to get the things we have together .i worked 80 hr a week two jobs.and no days off.barely getting any sleep just to pay all the bills so she could go to collage.i helpt her get the new car she wanted,new furniture for the apartment,etc,etc,well after she graduated and got the job she wanted and everything else she said she wasnt happy anymore and told me it was over with us. i had to leave.and of course i had no place to go cause the apartment was my home.and i have no family to go to.so i was homeless.i had to go to a hotel witch is expencive.for now. till i figure out what im going to do.i was used this whole entier relationship.i dont have any extra money to get an attorney for a divorce since im not working 80 hr a week anymore.my wife switced my phone # to another phone she had cause the service was under her moms plan through verizon and now shes useing my old # for her personal use.and when people call my old #she is telling lies about me.contacting my job and anyone else she can .because i wont pay for her bills.i dont know what to do.its bad enough that she used me .but taking my phone # and lieng about me also .i just want to start over with my life but she wont let me.what am i suposed to do .im a decent good man that dont deserve this.

First of all, let me tell you that you are incredibly strong and you're handling this awful awful situation very bravely. I'm really blown away by your courage and strength of character. Judging by the way you are handling this predicament, I'm certain that things will work out beautifully for you. I'm only 17, and I don't know what you're supposed to do in such a situation, but I felt I had to tell you this.

I'm just wondering, it's not clear whether the apartment belongs to you or your wife. It sounds like it belongs to you, if that's true, then you should reclaim it and let this bitch go live in a hotel. The way she's treating you is totally unacceptable. I would have zero tolerance for such behavior, and you should too. Do not let her get away with this. You are an incredible person, and no one should EVER get away with treating you like this. Gather some friends, and discuss some ideas of how to proceed.

This predicament will be over before you know it, and hopefully you will move on and find a great girl and start over. As for your wife, judging by her abhorrent character, she'll never be successful or happy. She's hopeless. I'm sorry you were a victim of her criminal acts. As you say, you're a great decent guy, and you really don't deserve this.

You are going to be okay, trust me. You are a strong guy, and you don't let people break you. You're my hero, dude!

Good luck and I hope things get better fast :) Keep me posted.

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I currently have a boyfriend. He is sweet,funny and treats me like a princess. The issue is I don't feelthose butterflies. Also I'm not physically attracted. I followed my brain and gave him a shot. Im still not physically attracted. I use to have a crush On a guy but we became best friends. This was 3 years ago. We barely talked during the last year. I needed help with school things so I text him. We started texting and I felt butterflies again. I anxiously waited for his replies. I feel horrible. Why can't I feel like this for my bf? I thought I was over the other guy but Clearly I'm not. I didn't flirt with the other guy but I feel like I'm deceiving my bf. Should I break up with him? Also I know there's not a chance with the othe guy because I'm in the friendzone. There's always that attraction between us but it's been there since I me him and he's never asked me out. Also I'm scared to ruin such a good friendship. Either way i feel my boyfriend deserves better.

Well, to answer your first question, no you're not a horrible person. You can't control what you feel or to whom you're attracted.

This will be very tough, but I believe it is in the best interest of you both that you guys break up. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your boyfriend that you stay together. You're not feeling it, and he's in the dark. There needs to be chemistry in the relationship for you two to have a successful future. Again, it's not your fault that you're not attracted. Don't break up because of the other guy, but because this will be best for both of you.

That's my opinion, you do what feels right. I'm sure you'll figure out what the right thing to do is, you know the situation firsthand. Just follow your intuition.

Good luck and take care :)

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Okay so my friend/ex-bf and I still like each other but everyone in our school would say stuff if we started dating again (since we had kind of a bad break up but we worked it out). So we wanna be friends for a while since we hadnt talked in 2 months and then later on date. I don't have a problem with that. But when we were hanging out, we started making out and we agreed that since we will start dating again that kissing as friends won't be a big deal. Is that a friends with benefits? We aren't doing anything besides kissing but does that still count? Btw we are both 15 and I am turning 16 soon, if that makes a difference.

Friends with benefits are two friends that have a purely sexual relationship with no strings attached and no commitment.

Btw, if you two like each other and want to date again, then that's great. It doesn't matter what other people think about it. It's your life, and if you want it, do it...

Good luck :)

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I'm about to turn 17 and i've been dealing with an extreme case of depression and several eating disorders I was prescribe medication but my siblings see it as ridiculous and think I'm attention seeking and have currently stopped treatment do to persistence from my family but I'm terrified of how I've been feeling and think I'm eating worse but no one will listen. How do i get them to believe me before it gets to late!

Adviceman49 gave some great advice, but I'd like to add something very important. If your doctor prescribed you medication, then you need to take it. The consequences of not taking them can be devastating. I know that from very harsh personal experience. I decided once that my meds prevented me from losing weight, so I threw them out so that I wouldn't be able to take them. I had been doing great mentally until then, but I decided the most important thing was my physical condition. Three days after I threw it out, I had a terrible relapse. It was worse than any other brain dysfunction I've had before. I became really suicidal even though things were going great. Be wise and take your medication and don't give two shits about what your family says. In the end you're gonna be the one who's hurt.

Good luck :)

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Hi! 

So there once was this guy from church that I was seeing for like a whole year.As many relationships start off , it was nice and wonderful at the beginning . In a span of 2-3 months he said that he loved me, we had done "some things " together and he had also told me that he wanted to take me to his grad next year and that by then, he would like to make things official with us. As the school year came and went by , we would always have our ups and downs. we would always bicker about what our relationship was and how he wanted our relationship to be hushed. Because we were never official, things got complicated as we continued to act like a couple even though when really we never were one. 
He would always make excuses about how half of the time he felt like he would date me and how half of the time he wouldn't because he didn't want anything to be serious at the moment.  Although i knew i shouldve took it as a red flag, I would always ignore it because I didn't want to lose him .  
So ,when the following year finally came he told his parents that he was going to take me as his grad date. But instead of being ok with it, they were shocked and disapproved of it . They gave him a whole  lecture about how it would be best if he dated someone outside of church . And their reasoning behind this was because they didn't want any rumors and awkwardness happening around in the church. 
To sum things up, in the end he took a different girl to his grad , I got jealous and he broke up our so called bond. Although he said that we could maybe get back in the future and that things would never change between us, the whole friendship  became really  hard on me because things were changing and he wasn't texting me as much as he used to. 
And now that I think about it, I feel like he never tried hard enough to make it work.
I feel hurt and  used, that now whenever he does text me, it feels that it is only just for the sake of it. 
And as for that , I haven't answered his text yet. I don't know what to do !! Is it best if I continue to ignore him , or should I continue to talk to him and be a friend?!?!! 
Please help ! 
Thanks 

Ps sorry for the long message haha 

Hey there! I can relate to your situation so much. I was with a guy that just used me and made me believe our relationship was going somewhere, and then he broke up with me right after we were making out. His excuses were similar to that guy from church. I know how horrible it feels to be used, and I'm sorry you were a victim of it.

I understand that you might still have feelings for him, and it's hard to let go. There's not a day I don't think about this guy. The reality for both of us is that we weren't viewed as a priority. Both this guy from church and the guy I knew, thought they could toy around with us, because they knew how strongly we felt about them and we would overlook whatever they did wrong.

You deserve a boy that will treat you as a first priority, like a princess, and be there for you. Not someone who toys around with your feelings, and you feel like you have to sacrifice so much just to get his attention and affection.

It's up to you whether you want to continue ignoring him or be his friend. In my case, we've cut off all contact. It's hard to move on and heal if your ex is still in your life a lot. There are so many people that have broken up, and they continuously check their ex's Facebook, and if they see that their relationship status changed they're heartbroken, etc. I've heard from many relationship experts that continuing being your ex's friend isn't very good in the beginning. After a while, when you've moved on maybe you can resume as friends.

If you want help with getting over this guy, you can visit healmybrokenheart.com or howtogetoverarelationship.com. They've both helped me a lot, so you can give it a try.

Good luck and take care :)

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okay, normally i would ask a guy this but i need help from the opposite side. so i've been dating this girl for almost a year now but i haven't really had any time to bond with her.
i really like her, and i want to be with her, but i don't really know how to bond.
can you help me? (im 14)

Hey there! A very important factor in a relationship is spending quality time together. Be there for her, and spend your time with her, and make her feel like she's your first and foremost priority. I guess the best way to get her to open up to you is by telling her how you feel about her, and how much you love her. I've been in relationships in the past where the guys were afraid to open up, and I would never really know how they truly felt about me, and it was pretty bad. When a guy opens up to you, it feels really great. At last you feel there's mutual love, and it really bonds you together.

Be a good listener and above all, a friend to her. Make her feel loved and cared through simple things such as opening the door for her. You can ask her about her favorite sport, movie, etc. and share yours. You can share your dreams, goals, and secrets (if you want), and the two of you will feel a connection.

Good luck
Hope I helped :)

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