|
Normal feelings after a breakup
20/f - I was just wondering if it's normal to no longer have feelings for someone but hate the thought of him being with someone else. I realize that I am being incredibly selfish having such thoughts, but I don't know how to get over feeling like this. We broke up about a year and a half ago, and we've discussed getting back together, but it was never successful (either I'd want to but he didn't or he'd want to but I didn't). Even though I'm the one who broke it off after 2 years together, it took me a long time to stop hurting and accept the fact that I ended it because I was no longer happy in that relationship. I'm pretty sure that I'm over him because I'm aware of all the reasons that we were wrong for each other, but the thought of him with someone else really bothers me and eats at my thoughts almost every day. If it's not normal to feel this way after a breakup, especially since so much time has passed already, please tell me so that I can know how crazy I am for feeling like this and work on truly moving on.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No youre not crazy for feeling like this. It was a long relationship and even if you had problems and broke it off it still meant a lot to you. I think you are in the process of getting over him but you're not completely there. If you think that theres no possible way to make things work turn you have to continue on working on getting over him. During the time you dated you grew accustomed to him. Even the thought of him being with someone else is strange and bothers you. You may not love him anymore but you grew accustomed to his company. Realizing that he could go and be "company" (for lack of better words) to someone else is scary. Also Im very sorry it took this long to reply. If you ever need anything else dont hesitate to ask me. Good luck!(: Remember what you're feeling is normal and you just have to work on getting use to the fact that you guys aren't a couple anymore.
]
In my opinion, I think it's normal. I've gotten that way with some of my exes. Even when I was dating someone else and I had absolutely no feelings for my ex, I still hated him with someone else.
I wouldn't say it's selfish, I think it's how most people think. I mean I was happy for the guy but I just hated the thought of it.
You're not crazy for thinking like this, eventually it'll all blow over and it won't bother you anymore.
I let it go by thinking that I really shouldn't care what happens in his life, I'm happier now than ever.
]
Great news! This is absolutely 100% normal! First of all, let me explain that post-break-up emotions are totally unpredictable and it's okay to feel a million contradicting emotions at once. Love and hate, longing and apathy, etc. Going through a break up and breaking up with someone are both very painful experiences. I should know that, since I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. I didn't thing that I would suffer too, because after all, I was the one who ended things. I convinced myself that I was totally over him, and things were going great for a while, but then out of nowhere, I started berating myself why I broke up with him and I wanted to get back together. It's been a year, and it's still painful to think about it. But I too had my reasons for breaking up, and I know that getting back together is not an option. So it's good that you know your reasons.
You two had a relationship going for you once. You were in love. You each gave each other your heart and soul. You'll never be able to completely detach yourself from someone that was once such an important and dear part of your life. Yes, you no longer have feelings for him, and you might be ready to move on, but he used to be dear to you, and seeing him fall for someone else, man that's got to be very tough.
Don't tell yourself that you are crazy. You are human, and this is painful for you. You can visit: howtogetoverarelationship.com, it's a great website, and they teach you great methods of how to move forward and be ready for your prince when the time comes.
Good luck! Hope I helped :)
]
More Questions: |