Is it ok to commit suicide for unselfish reasons. i know the people who love me will be hurting emotionally but if I kill myself they will receive 2 million dollars. Right now we have almost no money left with no income coming in. I'm in constant pain due to a failed surgery and pretty much stay in bed all day ( I am 49 years old). I'm not afraid to die because I know I will see my son who died 3 years ago and I miss him so much, but I am afraid of pain or not succeeding and becoming a vegetable and not having my family collect my insurance. I still have a 17 year old son at home and he has one year left in private school, right now I can't afford his tuition. We won't have money for food soon. My husband of 9 years tries very hard he started a company but hasn't made money in years. I took a look at my policy and it does pay if I kill myself after 2 years. I've had the policy for 6 years. I don't want to die but I want to help my family and this seems like the only way i can help them. I am so afraid of us running out of money. Please help me get the courage I need to do this and help me figure out the best and least painful way to as well.
adviceman49 answered Thursday August 9 2012, 10:54 am: I too suffer from chronic pain the result of an auto accident in which I was the only innocent in a three car collision. Now in my case I was awarded a nice settlement. Even though I think I can talk to how the pain may be effecting your better judgement.
What I have found and experienced is called the circle of pain. Pain causes depression and depression causes pain. When I was in my depressive state getting out of bed was chore. The pain was real, that is a fact. But it was more real then it should have been. With professional help and proper care from a pain management doctor I am able to live a more normal life. I will never be pain free. But I have learned to recognize when my pain is causing me to be depressed and what I need to do to break the cycle. Will what has worked for me work for you. I really can't say. What I can say is it is better than the irrational alternative you are presently thinking of. Irrational thoughts are part of the depressive cycle.
You say your pain stems from a failed surgery. Doctors never admit to mistakes. Usually doctors bury their mistakes. Have you spoken to a lawyer about a malpractice suit. This type of law suit generally cost you nothing. Lawyers take on these types of cases for a share of the awarded compensation. Generally 33% to 40% depending on whether the case goes to trial.
Did the surgery fail to correct your problem or did the surgeon make a mistake. Were you misinformed, was the surgery beyond the surgeons capability. Not all surgeons are board certified in the areas they do surgery in. IF the surgeon is not board certified in the area he operated in and did not inform you then it could be malpractice. A bad example of what I'm saying is like asking a plumber to work on your air conditioner. He might be able to fix it. Then again he probably will do more harm then good.
I would like you to do two things. First: If you are actively still thinking of suicide I would like you to call this number;1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis counselor in your area, anytime 24/7 at the National Suicide Prevention Center. They can help you find help including a lawyer to look into a malpractice suit for the failed surgery. The second thing I would like you to do is call the lawyer and speak with him/her about a malpractice suit.
I believe you would like to be around to see your 17 year old graduate college, marry and have grandchildren. If a malpractice suit can prove the doctor is the cause of your pain then a settlement will take care of monetary problems as well as treatment for your pain. This is a much better outcome than what you are thinking. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
asklauren414 answered Thursday August 9 2012, 12:10 am: your life is much more important than any amount of money. you only get to live once. think about how much your son and husband will miss you. no amount of money can compensate for the emotional pain of losing someone. everyone goes through rough patches in their life but NOTHING is bad enough to end your life. if you and your husband and son love each other than that should be more important than money. you don't need money to have a happy life. i'm sure things will get better. thing about making adjustments to save money. can you send your son to a public school instead of a private one? (that may not be ideal, but it will save you a lot of money for now). maybe your husband should consider selling his business and finding a new job. there are ways to work around every problem and things WILL get better, you just have to give them a chance to and ending your life will not do any good. [ asklauren414's advice column | Ask asklauren414 A Question ]
alexisgirlie answered Wednesday August 8 2012, 9:11 pm: Killing yourself will not help your family. You're worth so much more than money. Money will be worthless if you give your life for it. Things might be tough right now, but trust me, eventually they'll turn out okay. I've been in lots of seemingly hopeless situations, and I fiercely believed the situation won't turn around, and I was wrong every time.
Please go get help. You seem to be depressed, and it's not fair that you should have to live under such difficult circumstances.
Regardless of what people say, people who are suicidal are never selfish. It's a totally ridiculous claim. They are hopeless and in the deepest of despair. The pain of a suicidal person is unbearable. Don't settle for the pain, and don't give up hope or on yourself. You are mightily strong, and you will pull through this!
Jasmine23 answered Wednesday August 8 2012, 6:35 pm: No one with the right mind will tell you how to let yourself do that. Although your family does need money. YOU ARE THAN ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY!!!!! They would much rather spend the time with you than with your money. What about well are? I don't know if you have it where you are from. But I'm sure if you look into it there are services to help you out. Just don't do what you are thinking of doing. [ Jasmine23's advice column | Ask Jasmine23 A Question ]
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