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please help: I have only been emotionally dead for about 3 years
I am only 12, and I have only been emotionally dead for about 3 years. I only told my mom today about it but she doesn't believe it. She doesn't believe that all the smiles, laughs, tears, pain, anger have been fake. I hate it. I hate that I can't do anything to stop this or cure this, but I've grown not to care. But I WANT to care. I do. I just can't.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
The truth is that teenagers can be pretty melodramatic. When I was your age I wasn't depressed, but bored a lot of the time, especially in school. Your brain is still developing and that means that your thoughts and feelings are going through changes with that development. Some of that is no doubt motivated by a lot of self doubt and not really knowing who you are yet and that can lead to a feeling of a loss of control and fear of the future. All you can do is ride it out. Today, there are millions of kids feeling exactly like you. It's just part of growing up. It sucks, but it is what it is. So just try to relax and not get so down on yourself. Actively separate constructive and non-constructive thoughts and then see what you can learn from the whole process rather than just allowing yourself to wallow helplessly in it.
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this is weird...I'm the same age as you and this happened to me for a few months. I just started to be more active. Went out with friends, met up with people and I also had a chat with my teacher who thought I looked unhappy, and I told her how I was feeling and she called up some people to talk to me and I'm feeling better now.
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I think I may know how you feel even though I am much older than you. In fact I am older than your parents. The problem with mom is that it is not so much she doesn't believe you as she expects certain things at certain ages. Had say you told mom this 2 years ago she would have been more concerned as what you are telling her is not expected to happen at a younger age.
You see some of the things you speak of are part and parcel of the start of puberty; some are not. This is where or why mom is not listening, unfortunately. You are at the age where you should be starting, if not well in to puberty so she is expecting some of what you are saying.
Now as to what is causing you to feel this way like the other 2 writers I can't say. We are all individuals and we all have different things effectiving us differently. What I do know is left untreated this will have an effect on you well into your adult life as did mine.
I suggest that since school will be starting soon and since most schools, at least where I live require a yearly school physical. That when you have you school physical you tell your doctor how you feel, even if mom is in the room with you. Mom can poo poo what you say but I'm certain your doctor will listen to you with a professional medical ear.
If you don't normally have a yearly school physical you should, especially if you have started your period, ask mom to arrange one. Most insurance companies do cover school physicals or yearly physicals. So if your parents have insurance the only cost will be the amount of their co-pay.
If mom will not arrange for a physical then the only other advise I can give you is to wait until school starts. Then visit with a guidance counselor or school nurse. They will help you once you tell them how you are feeling. You cannot do your best school work feeling as you are.
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I also felt like that a little less than two years ago. I was severely traumatized by a murder, and I turned to stone, literally. No body believed me, and they thought I was only saying it to get attention. I didn't know it could be cured. But it can be. I strongly urge you to go get help. In my case, I had to be given medication (not because of that) and suddenly I started to feel again. I started to love, and care, and be human again.
You probably witnessed or experienced a traumatic event, and you've never gotten over it. Sit down with your parents and explain to them that it's true, and you want to get help. If they don't believe it's true, you can use my example, such things exist. I think turning to stone might be a way your brain tries protecting you from experiencing the terrible trauma again. It's not normal though, and it's so freaking annoying. I know all about it. People always asked annoying questions. "If you can't feel, then why are you laughing?" blah blah blah...
You don't know what you're missing out on! Get help now, and start living again!
Good luck, I hope things get better fast :)
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If your 12 and feeling this way this early even from an earlier stage then you should go talk to someone. Usually something happens for people to feel like this. If a traumatic event happened that made you feel this way you should talk to your mother about this. Go to your mom and tell her you guys need to have a serious girl talk and start from where it all began. Hopefully you guys talking will help ease you, but if it don't and you still feel this way after the talk go to a counselor and they will be able to help you for sure. :) Good luck be brave and strong.
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