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Really bad advice, established in 2004. FORUM.
advice
I have been with my wife for 4 years. coming into this relationship I knew her bestfriend was her ex. That should of been a red flag for me, but as the years gone by I got to know her bestfriend and the more I got to know her the more I hated her. she seems to always have to top everything I do, from cooking, to baking, to decorating to the way we dress(just so you understand I'm a girl shes a girl we are all girls)the way we raise the kids everything is a compotition. Plus she always talks about herself and what shes doing and how she gets to go out and do this and that know we have young children and we can't do those thing almost like she rubbing it in our faces. The hard part is shes a huge part of my wife's family the sisters look at like a sister and the in-laws love her as a daughter and call her daughter their gran. see i'm the actual wife and I gave 2 grandchildren but i get treated like the outsider. she comes over almost everyday and doesn't know when to leave, she sleeps in my bed uses my shower. but when i try to say anything to my wife she lets me know how wrong i am and that she doesnt understand why i have such a problem with her and that i'm trying to put her in the middle and she won't choose. like today i packed a picnic to take to my wifes work so the kids and i can eat lunch with her but guess whose been there since early in the morning her bestie so now i have to make extra to feed her to. I just feel liek everywhere i go or anything i do her bestie has to be apart of it. they go and have lunch they talk on the phone for hours they tell each other eveything. my wife and i never go out and have lunch just the 2 of us, and she never opens up to me like that. not only that but she would never let me hang out with her at work like that. I don't know what to do. I don't think they are messing around but I want to be the one to be close to my wife not her. any advise?
Tell your wife you would like to go to marriage counseling. If she refuses to go, go on your own.
Four years ago, I met this guy through a friend and we started going out. Three months later he cheated on me, but by that time we already had so many of the same friends it was impossible not to run into each other. Over the years we have become the best of friends. There is no one in the entire world that means more to me than this person, and he says he feels the same as I do.
Over the course of our friendship it has become increasingly clear that he's a manic depressive. It has also become clear to me over the last year and a half that I still have romantic feelings for him. Because we share everything, and I needed to know if there was a chance for us, I told him how I felt about a year ago. We continued our friendship, but things got way more intense until I told him I needed some sort of commitment. At a bonfire, he took me aside and told me that I meant too much to him to lose, and he thought we should try to be together. Then he kissed me. That was however, on an upswing of his depression, and with every down cycle he acted like nothing had happened and we were just best friends. I was weak, and I didn't want to lose him, so I just went with whatever mood he was in in the moment, from adoring partner to buddy buddy. I loved him so much, I thought if I could show him that I loved him no matter what, maybe he could love himself just enough to get help. That's when the awkward spending the night started. He started sleeping over, holding me, caressing me more, telling me all the things I knew he felt, just cuddling on the couch watching our favorite movies and being together, but whenever it got too sexual, he would either make an excuse to leave or (and I'm positive this is what he was doing) go to the bathroom and masturbate, leaving me high and dry as he drifted off to sleep satisfied. I finally had enough and told him I needed, wanted, deserved the title of girlfriend. He told me he just wasn't mentally stable enough to give that to me, and that he didn't want to hurt me because I mean so much to him. Things continued as they had. I didn't know what else to do. He blamed all of his issues on his ex girlfriend who cheated on him constantly and eventually left him for a woman, but he started having casual sex with other girls and hiding it from me, which I equated to the pain of cheating but he rationalized as fine because we didn't have a title and weren't having sex. I fully believe he was doing this as a way to fulfill himself sexually while trying and avoid the pain losing me would cause if we tried at a relationship and failed. Then, I was leaving for a week for a graduate residency, and came home to find him sitting outside my house. He took me upstairs and told me everything I'd been wanting to hear, that he felt the same way I felt about him, that he was afraid of hurting me with his depression, and that he wanted to try. Then, he kissed me like I always wanted him to kiss me, like he was present, like he was in the moment with me, and it broke my heart to have to leave for the week, but he promised he'd come down the last day for the giant banquet we have, and I was pretty much walking on the moon. This lasted for three days. Then, he didn't show up for the banquet, and when I brought up everything he said to me the day he was waiting at my house, he literally said he didn't remember any of it or the three days that followed. I was crushed. I'm still crushed, but I thought he was just scared, that if he could have that moment of clarity once, he could have it again if we worked on his mental health together. Things went back to the friends with conditional benefits thing, but every time he left me, I started to feel this frantic need to be with him, to somehow tie him to me with some permanence, even though I knew he'd gone back to having casual sex with other girls. I felt like he was slipping away more and more, but at the same time we had never been closer. The girls were the same as the booze and the weed he'd been self medicating with for years, I knew they were a quick high and i meant something more to him, but I wanted him to take me of the pedestal he put me on and just be with me in the real world, not some world where I was a perfect relationship he couldn't have while he was sick. Last month, I finally got up the courage to have another talk about what I need out of whatever we have, and he told me he still wasn't ready for a relationship (even though, despite the lack of sex, that's exactly what we've been in), but that he sometimes felt about me the same way I felt about him, "that we were made for each other, that we belong together". I tried to take it all with a grain of salt. He really is sick, and he really does care about me, and I can understand why he wouldn't want to hurt me. We made plans to go to the fourth of July fireworks three days later, and the entire day he acted strange. We were supposed to drink and watch movies in bed for the rest of the night, but he said he had somewhere else he needed to be. I was absolutely livid when I saw the bite mark he tried to hide on his neck, and told him to take me home. I'd had enough. After he dropped me off, he sent me a text that simply said, "I've met someone". I asked him to come back to my house so we could talk about it, and he said no. I told him he better get to a phone then, because I needed to talk to him. I called him and asked him how he could do this to me after everything we were to each other, and he told me nothing would change between us. I told him there was no way I could be with him if he were giving himself emotionally to someone else, and he told me I was being selfish, that what we had was too important to throw away over someone he was probably only going to date for a month or two. I told him there was no way I could stay with him and he hung up on me. A few days later, he sent me a msg saying that he understood, and if being apart was what I needed he would try to respect it because of how much I meant to him. I few days later, my room mate noticed him driving past our house. I've seen him doing it a few times since then too, and it just tears me apart. After a month of no contact, he sent me a msg saying we needed to talk. I didn't want to. Nothing had changed, and that's what I msg'd back. He started cursing at me and told me I was being selfish, and that I was a horrible person to leave him alone like that, and that no one had ever hurt him as much as me. I don't understand this. He is the one who didn't want me. All I ever wanted was to be with him, to have some sort of recognition that I mattered, that I was as important to him as he said I was. Yesterday, I finally said we could have that talk, and he came over. I told him everything I said here and how it had made me feel, why I had to have space for a while, why I still need space. He told me I don't love him, that I'm obsessed with him, and any feelings he had for me are gone, but he still wants me in his life, that I'm still his best friend. I am completely lost. I don't know what to do. I'm not obsessed with him, I'm trying to figure out why someone who so clearly loves me would be afraid enough to risk losing me over being honest. He still denies that he came over and told me he loved me, he has completely switched from rationalizing that he can't love me because of his ex to he never loved me and I'm the one with the problem, and the worst thing is, he's so damn considerate about it all, it makes me feel like I'm the one who's lost touch with reality, but I'm not the one with missing bits of time, with blocked memories, who breaks down every time we're alone and tells me he thinks he's lost his mind, that I deserve better. He is my best friend. I want to see him well, but how can I continue to help him with his mental issues, if he's going to lie and change his perception of our reality whenever it's convenient? Now, especially because he says he's in love with this girl the way he was in love with me, that he doesn't know if he should be with her because she deserves better. To hear him say exactly what he always said to me about someone else is like a knife in my chest, and even more so because he was able to commit to her three days after he told me he thought he and I might belong together but he couldn't commit to me. I'm completely broken. As much as I am his rock, he is mine. He is the person who knows everything about me, who knows exactly what I need when I'm hurting, exactly what to say to make me smile, exactly I'm thinking at any given moment in the day, but is that worth always being held at arms length? Is it worth always feeling like I'm being lied to about my own relationship? The girl he's with now reminds me of me when we first met. Is our friendship worth watching him make the same mistakes with her he made with me because he won't get help? Or, even worse, what if he doesn't make mistakes with her? What if she's just enough for him to finally be happy? Could I stand watching that either? He is my family. I feel like I've been served divorce papers for a marriage that never happened. Someone help me figure this out. Please.
I don't doubt that this guy is mentally ill and that's playing a large role in all these problems, but I also do not doubt that this guy is a legitimate asshole, and that's a character flaw that is separate from the manic depression.
Until he actually makes the effort to get better by seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist, this crap is just going to repeat itself over and over. give him the ultimatum and then cut your losses.
Additionally, you yourself would probably find great value in therapy to figure out why your self-value is low enough that you'd tolerate this for so long. It would give you a refreshing perspective on this situation and your life as a whole.
Why do men love blowjobs and what happens if you dont give them one
I need blowjobs to survive... without them I'll die. :(
i went on a date with a really cute and older guy.
we got drinks- the first one he paid for and the second he culdnt afford and had to awkwardly ask me to pay for it myself.
he didnt mean anything by it it was a honest he couldnt afford to buy mea drink! hes a waiter and doesnt have a lot of money at moment, so its understandable- however i am still turned off.
OTHER than that we had an AWSOME time but i cant get over how he couldnt afford to pay for my 8$ drink.
i told him it was werid and he owes me.
am i weird for thinking this is such a red flag? i really like him but im insulted by how he asked me to pay!
You're insulted? I am insulted that you are sabotaging the progress of your own gender.
im looking for into buying a new camera, and i really like the nikon d40 (http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10783765#)
if anybody has it, can you tell me what you think of it? is it worth the money (i do take a lot of pictures)? what are any speacial "features" about it, and are they really hard to figure out?
anything, really. thanks a ton!
Haha you asked this three years ago but I'll answer this anyway, since I legitimately owned this camera for a bit less than a year.
I sold my D40 on Amazon for around 350 bucks with the kit lens. Let me be clear: in my opinion this camera is not worth that much money. I didn't rip anyone off -- it was priced pretty comparably to other cameras -- but if I was going to buy that camera again, I would pay no more than 250 bucks for it. It's a legitimate SLR that will probably accomplish what an entry level person needs it to do, but nothing more than that. Its megapixel count is shit and pales in comparison even to iPhones.
A brief note: Nikon lenses generally are slightly less expensive than Canon lenses. But not so inexpensive that it should influence which camera you end up choosing. Honestly your best bet today (because I switched to Canon for practical reasons, unrelated to camera quality) is to go with a Canon T1i or T2i, and buy it used.
How do I FedEx?
Don't bother, it's really hard.
I'm starting to really hate, and despise my best friend's mother. She's too strict, and cultured. They're from Pakistan/Afghanistan. I've known her for like 5-6 years.
Anyways, I live in an apartment building. She lives 2 floors down. Her mom won't let her come over to my house because it's my step dad's day off from work.
Honestly, that is so insulting because my step dad is not a fucking rapist or a sex offender. I told my friend that him and my mom are out shopping anyways, and her mom is like "It doesn't matter, because he's going to come home anyways."
That is so insulting. Not just to my stepdad, but to ME and to my MOTHER. What kind of people does she think we are?
Wow dude chill the fuck out, it's called cultural conservationism. Don't be so butt-hurt making everything about you: don't you think your friend is as fed up as you are? She lives with that every day, count yourself lucky you selfish punk.
im 10 and im a female what should i talk about when on the phone with my boyfriend?
How awesome it is to have reached a double digit age.
I a 22 year female. I recently lied to my step father about being with my boyfriend who i have been on and off with for quite sometime. Well my boyfriend heard and got upset and now he thinks i am not ready for a committed relationship. When we were talking I couldnt look him in the face cause I hate seeing him hurt and I hate him seeing me cry! I dont know what else I can do to show/tell him that I only did it to not have any more conflict. Can you please help me?
That reason is probably not going to fly with him so well. Is he not worth the conflict? You're a 22-year-old woman, not a 15-year-old girl that needs to hide her relationships from her parents because she's not old enough to date.
What does GOP mean? On the news they are always talking about what the GOP is going to do about this or that but I have no idea what they are talking about. thank you if you can help!
GOP stands for Grand Old Party, and it's just another name for the Republican Party.
It's referred to as the Grand Old Party because it's old and most of the people that buy into it are equally old. har har har
I'm 17 male and having sex,I have day where I will cum aloast instintly ,techniques?? Is masturbating regulary good?
Beat it before you let her meet it.
Hello.
I pretty much understand the whole weight loss thing. My question is about calories.
Now everyone (including myself) always says that you need to burn more calories than you consume to lose weight. This seems pretty straight forward, but does that actually mean:
You eat 2500 calories a day
You need to burn AT LEAST 2501 calories to start to lose anything?
Because one day, I walked constantly for 7 hours. It wasn't planned: me and a friend walked to the city, browsed shops, then just took a long walk as the sun set, and then walked home. I used to have an app on my iPod Touch. You put in how much exercise you've done, and what you've eaten. I put "brisk walking, 7 hours" in, and it only said I burned 1600 calories?! So I would have had to burn 900 more calories (assuming I consume 2500 calories a day) ? Because that seems crazy. My body felt like jelly after all that walking, and I still needed to do MORE just to lose weight?
Any guidance?
Thanks!
No, fuck calorie counting. You need calories to survive. Just avoid eating foods high in fat -- primarily saturated fat -- and exercise and you'll lose weight.
I am getting depressed because Im telling myself im lesbian, but i do not in any way want to be. i look at girls boobs and stuff and have sexual thoughts about them but I would never ever date one or kiss one. Is it normal to doubt your sexuality? im 14
thanks
errbuddy in da club be kwestioning if dey go for da dick or puss when they uh yougn no worries babe
i'm 19/f
he's 22/f
strong christian, doesn't just lead girls on.
he asked me to coffee just to chat about life. we talked about EVERythiNG. why would he do this?!
He wants to crucify you. :(
13/f Hi, I'm trying to grow my shoulder length hair out because I'm tired of everyone else having longer hair than me. Any suggestions?
Don't cut it.
I am 17, female, moving into college next month. My mom made me sign a paper to disclose information at school. Grades and medical records and if I get in trouble at parties or something of the sort. I don't really want her to know everything like that but I couldn't say no because she'd be pissed. My question is, if I were to start birth control or anything, will my mother know about that? Because when I went to orientation, we broke up into groups and my facilitator said that those things are confidential but I don't know if that holds true once I signed that paper. Please no judging and thanks for your time.
I think that would depend more on billing than disclosure. I highly doubt your college is going to go through the paper trail and hassle of disclosing every little thing to your mom -- this isn't high school. However, who would be paying for your birth control? If she's the one that's going to cover it, you can bet there's going to be some sort of indicator for what she's paying for when she gets the bill.
As far as other health related things though, it probably depends on the school and what service you're receiving. When I went to my school's counseling center, I know that was never disclosed to my parents.
Honestly, you just need to be up front with your school's health office to learn exactly what they will and will not reveal to your family. And I don't know what your family life is like, but maybe a young woman being on birth control isn't the radical thing of the Devil you probably fear your mom will make it out to be.
21/F
Me and my boyfriend of four years have a long distance relationship and this is just one of many typical conversations I have with him:
"Him: so is that a no to seeing you this weekend?
Me: yea :( I'm on vacation with *best friends name* family for the weekend I would invite u but it's pretty far
Him: I don't mind the drive
Me: good to know :)
Him: lol why?
Me: cause it actually means you care enough to come see me even if it's really far and that means a lot to me... It's nice to sometimes have confirmation that you really do care
Him: your welcome!"
And that was it i havent talked to him since Saturday. Is it wrong that I'm upset that all he had to say was your welcome when I told him my feelings? It's not just that one time but it's all the time, I'll say something sweet and he'll just be really short with me or change the subject. I mean we don't hardly see each other and anyone in a l.d. relationship knows how important showing affection through text is, but he no longer gives me that and it just hurts. he use to always send me cute stuff to make sure I felt special and doesn't do that anymore I practically have to pry a sweet comment from him. Im pretty sure I deserve more right? At this point I'm ready to call it quits. I always make sure he knows how much he means to me and he can't do the same. I miss him already but I can't be the only one giving, right?
I don't know you or your boyfriend or your relationship, but because I'm from the Internet I'm just going to make assumptions and generalize anyway.
If you're ready to "call it quits" over him not living up to some cutesy level, then your relationship is probably based in bullshit anyway.
I've come up with several names but I can't decide what to call him. Dribbles, Peachum, Gatsby. What sounds the best?
Name him Advicenators.com.
Will a guy want u more if you ignore him
No, he will start to despise you. Just as I have.
My freshman year I had a huge crush on this girl that I had a few classes with. I know me and her had a thing but I never made a move on her.. I was a pussy. i think i had(still have) social anxiety and a really bad self conscious. i would stay in the bathroom looking in the mirror untill i thought i looked good enough to go to school and if i couldnt look good then i felt like everyone was judging me. I wore the same thing to school every week so this added on to myself thinking people were judging me. I only wore the clothes I thought I looked the best in.. sometimes that wasn’t good enough. When I couldn’t look good I would think I would be too ugly to present myself to her. This made me not want to go to school. I was 16 and y sophomore year came and things between me and her changed drastically. I had one class with her and we didn’t talk at all because I didn’t know what to say or I was just too nervous and shy. I was doing really good in school the first semester of my sophomore year but then the 2nd semester came and things went down the drain. i basically skipped the whole second semester of school just to spend my day playing this addicting computer game and so I wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward moments and the thoughts of people judging me. Also because I had a speech class the 2nd semester and I hated giving speeches. i would hide from my mom in various spots in the house just so i didnt have to go to school or i would tell my mom i was going to school, leave, and just kick it somewhere by myself untill she went to work. my mom was going through A LOT. From money being really low(we lived in a really nice house though) to her lesbian lover leaving her after 6 years, to my 14yr old sister being sent to live with HER father in california because she would not listen to my mom, would completely disobey her and acted bad. My moms childhood wasnt good either. her father would sexually touch her; this happened twice. then my mom’s mom left my mom’s dad and married another man. MY dad left my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me(I found this out after the suicide. I was lied to my whole life until I was 16) and then my mom had my sister with another man who basically took the role as a father until I was 10 because we moved to texas to get away from him because he was abusive and my mom really wanted to be with her lesbian lover. things were going really good before my sister got sent away. money wasnt as low and i was getting good grades in school. things went downhill after she got sent away because a couple of months after that happened, my moms lover left her. My sister being sent away also left me with more of an opportunity to stay home and skip school with my sister not being home at all. my mom would find me sometimes hiding(she would look for me in the house) and drive me to school. one time she was driving me to school after she found me and she slapped me really hard and told me she could go to jail if i kept skipping school. i was so fucking selfish and didnt really think she was serious and i said id go to jail if anything. anyways i kept skipping school to play this game and waste my time on the computer watching videos. i remember being at home and heaing my mom crying her eyes out begging lauren(her lover) not to leave. i asked her what was wrong and she said lauren is bored of the relationship. it hurt so much to see my mom like this. i told her maybe she will come back and she said i hope so. after this is when things really got bad, as she got really depressed and started abusing alcohol and cannabis(i found out after she committed suicide). not to mention that we never really spent that much time as a family but she tried very hard to keep us together. we had no real family in texas so we usually spent holidays with laurens family. i remember my mom leaving for a week and i had to stay at my friends house because the electric bill didnt get paid(this happened a couple times). after her suicide i found out she was attending a mentally ill hospital to help her feel better. i had no clue at the time where she was. she didnt tell me and i didnt ask. i just assumed she was having fun somewhere. i now think my sister was mentally ill too because she did something wrong idk i dont remember and my mom told her she was in trouble or something and my sister said that my mom would regret punishing her. all i remember is coming home and my sister emptied all the food in the pantry all over the floor just sitting in the middle of it. it was a huge mess. i was fucking confused thinking why would she do this. i called my mom and told her. i think she got grounded but now i understand that my sister was probably mentally ill too so it was not her fault to an extent. i was really pissed at the time because money was low and there was a lot of GOOD food all over the kitchen floor. i just couldnt understand. anyways back to the point, it was a normal day, first day of summer, and i was playing the computer game. my mom came out of her room to leave to work and i said bye. i dont remember if she said bye back. but i said i love you and she didnt say anything. i don’t know if she ignored me or didnt hear me. a couple hours passed and cops were at my door. i thought they were there because of me skipping so much school. i was scared to answer. i finally opened up and they asked me if anyone was home and who i was. i asked what are you guys here for. they sat me down and told me my mom was killed in an accident. i was told she was parked on the freeway because something was wrong with her car and when she was walking back to her driver door she was hit by an 18wheeler. i was in so much shock it was the last thing i couldve expected to happen. i cried so much and stared at her door thinking oh my fucking god is this real. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. within a few hours my house was filled with friends and neighbors. my sister called after not talking to her since she got sent to texas and she was crying hard and asked me if mom was really dead. I was instantly filled with sadness and tried my hardest to not let her hear me cry, and I said yes. her crying got harder and she hung up. I think I started crying after this too. I to my room and I started packing because I was told my aunts are coming to get me from California. The night came and I ended up staying the night at my friends house down the street.. Everything seemed so weird I don’t know how to explain it. Just in so much fucking shock. I was just laying there watching tv by myself in a room with my cats that I brought from my house. I was about to fall asleep and I remember something coming on the news talking about my mom. It said suicide or accident. I was then again instantly filled with emotions and just turned the tv off and tried to fall asleep. I woke up still in complete emotional pain. I went and hung out with my friends that I skated with all the time, until my two aunts were at my friends house. I got my bags, said goodbye to my friends and I remember one of my friends stopping by right before I left to say bye. My neighbor also stopped by right before I left and told me that she gathered up money from around the neighborhood to help a little bit. Then I was on my way back to California. I ended up living with my aunt, her husband, and their daughter. Things weren’t really uncomfortable but I didn’t want to be there. Starting a whole new life after this all happening was hard. I made friends and everything but of course I was still completely hurting and still am to this day. I tried counseling but I didn’t feel like anyone understood me and I think social anxiety kind of limited me explaining myself. I was at a social security place getting things set up for me to receive social security money and I heard my aunt mention something about a biological father to the social security worker. I ignored it. Then some time passed and we were at a bank getting a bank account set up and I heard my aunt mention something about a biological father again. This time I asked her about it whenever we were finished and inside the car leaving. She told me that my mom was going to tell me soon before she died that the father I was growing up with in California was not my real dad. He was my sisters dad. Also that my real dad left before I was born. This left me in even more confusion and shock. This just piled on top of everything else that was going on making things worse. Im now less then a month away from being 18 and I still feel absolutely hurt and depressed. I havent had any real suicidal thoughts because I couldn’t imagine leaving my sister by herself. My sister was going through a very hard time with controlling herself in the past year. Shes been doing drugs, drinking a lot, getting in fights, and even got expelled from her school. As of the last month or so shes improved dramatically. I think she started taking anti depressants along with therapy/counseling. Im so happy for her. Shes been visiting the last week or 2 with my cousin that’s visiting from south Dakota. As for me, im still completely depressed, I tried to take anti depressants but stopped after day 2 because I don’t wanna mix weed with the pills and I heard the pills side effects could be bad. I basically spend all my money on weed haha. Smoking weed is my way of medicating myself and it helps a lot but my aunt and uncle completely refuse to let me enjoy it. I had a half ounce of weed and they found it and took it. This is after getting in constant trouble with them all relating to weed. Them taking it pissed me off so much because I saved up so much money and JUST got it the day before I got it taken away. Currently im attending psychotherapy once a week along with still getting in trouble with my aunt n uncle because of my weed habit haha. Fuck it though. I feel bad because I never want to spend time with them. I’m always in my room. I love them a lot but im just so depressed. Like right now, my sister and cousin are visiting and everyones in the living room but im still in my room just on my laptop and watching tv. I feel like its because I don’t want to get real close to anyone because I put all my love into my mom and because I never got used to the fact of spending time with family in texas because my mom was always in her room too. She was all I had, and then she killed herself, just leaving me. Walking right passed me without saying anything the day it happened. I wish I could go back and tell her how much I really loved her and cared about her .I had no clue she was depressed, we didn’t talk a lot. If I had any idea that she was going through what she was going through I would have automatically changed my ways. Maybe it would have stopped her from killing herself. Now im left with all this regret, guilt, and anger. My heart is in a million pieces.
Take it from me man, the weed is going to make you feel worse. I'm not some anti-drug loser trying to bum your high -- I'm just speaking from experience that weed and and depression don't mix, they really just make the depression worse over time. Quit with the substances and continue with the psychotherapy. If you don't like your therapist, fuck them... get a different one. Only after you get to a less depressed place should you allow yourself to smoke, and even then it should just be a social thing, not a constant.
Smoking habitually and developing a weed dependence when you're depressed is horrible and is going to make things even worse.