Website:For you Tumblosers
Occupation:Managing editor of terrible college newspaper
Member Since:July 27, 2007
Last Update:October 23, 2013
aboutReally bad advice, established in 2004.
advice(Rating: 3) Thanks, but I was looking for a more specific weight lifting plan.
(Rating: 5) You gay. You gay. ...You gay. :OO
(Rating: 5) You notoriously give bad advice, and so I'm not sure whether you're being serious or whether it's so obvious that it went bad, that you're being extremely sarcastic. So sarcastic that it's impossible to tell. Either way, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and take it as a compliment! Thanks!
(Rating: 1) Better yet, why don't you chill the fuck out instead of being butt-hurt over a reasonable question I asked.
(Rating: 4) Of course you need calories to survive. But you also need fat to survive. All in moderation I say. But calories are just a method of measuring energy, so I think there is some merit in calorie counting.
(Rating: 4) lol i just laughed so hard out loud. thanks for making my life better.
(Rating: 1) ........
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much.
(Rating: 1) dude? oh. my. god. you are very unhelpful.
(Rating: 1) That isnt at all what I was asking...
(Rating: 1) This didnt help at all
(Rating: 5) LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL! You made me laugh! Ummm, but it worked! I did it as a joke and she told me to pick one out! Bzzzzzzzzz ThankbbbzzzzzzzzzYOUZzzzzzzzbzzzbzbbbbbbzzzz! LOL!
(Rating: 5) LOL! cause your name is Matt! But were your parents trendy?
(Rating: 5) Thanks! :)
(Rating: 5) Brooooo, you don't like Star Trek, bro? Gaaaaaaaaaah!
(Rating: 4) i guess. Didnt think of it that way.
(Rating: 1) I'm confused.
(Rating: 5) thanks!!
(Rating: 5) :)
(Rating: 1) there's your one. and i make sandwhices.
(Rating: 2) Not enough details? Its simple, What is this foamy saliva? And is it bad? Apparently you've never experienced vomitting a saliva-like substance, and never seen or heard of it. So why did you bother answering if its not going to help? This site is for giving advice, not criticising questions. If you can't work with my details, don't bother. And yes, I saw my doctor & I'm on AB's. That doesn't change the fact that I'm vomitting weirdly.
(Rating: 5) thank you very much:)
(Rating: 4) Thans byt I went with a line that I made up myself. Thanks thought. :D
(Rating: 5) thanks!
(Rating: 4) You are absolutely right. Yet, where is the best stream of statistically inclined information available? If I had time on my hands, I would better my research and data analysis.
(Rating: 2) English, please is a bad name for a baby chicken.
(Rating: 1) i have a job, asshole
(Rating: 5) thanks
(Rating: 4) Thanks for the info. I didn't like your comment at the end though.
(Rating: 5) Thanks for the info, not the best news but at least you were straight to the point.
(Rating: 3) I know that, I was asking if there was anyway I could fully get a refund.
(Rating: 2) LOL OMG REALLY :D? ,Ive been scooping through your advice column for a while now, and you dont know how to give advice unless you come off as an asshole, which by the way probably doesn't piss people off like you wish it did, word of advice, either give proper advice, and answer questions properly or think twice before you click the ask a question button, kay matt? :)
(Rating: 2) Hah, er... Thanks for that, Matt.
(Rating: 1) Well thanks for your honesty I guess but I did not tell you this so you could judge me. Also you act like it was all my fault. believe me he is not blameless
(Rating: 5) Good job, Matt.
(Rating: 2) - sorry, but what is that suppose to mean?
(Rating: 2) WTF???
(Rating: 1) Thanks for that you tit
(Rating: 1) Wtf
(Rating: 5) You're lucky I think you're funny. Completely not helpful though.
(Rating: 2) *Rating changed by L2 moderator*
(Rating: 3) thanks but I've tried em all -___-
(Rating: 3) Everyone says it's not always right.
(Rating: 5) thank you so much
(Rating: 1) nice answer
(Rating: 5) darn, I was hoping for a funny answer :D
(Rating: 3) He actually asked me for help because he felt like he was addicted so i didn't do it without his consent i guess i should been more throughout in the question thanks anyway. And that is sad how society now believes porn is ok it's just sickening.
(Rating: 5) LOOOL ! Thank you ! you made my day LOL
(Rating: 1) Yes it is serious, and it seems like you're closed minded without thinking about both points of view. It's okay, he thinks you're ridiculous also, so it's not just me. We already worked things out and I no longer have to be insecure or worried. Thanks for your non-help of advice. :) One rate. You're sad.
(Rating: 5) LMAO. This made me laugh, you're a jerk... but a funny one at that. Although you pissed me off with your first sentence.. it made me feel better because it's done and over. So I live in a small town, and that's the closest hospital and I want to be an RN... it's going to be so awkward when I start volunteering in the near future. But we'll get over that when we get to that point I guess. Anyways, thanks for the terrible/hilarious/okay advice. :)
(Rating: 5) lol thank you
(Rating: 2) i take that somewhat offensive and i listen to disturbed,korn,metallica,and limp bizkit too ...i just got a slipknot jacket and i was making a point but all my clothes are like that and you didnt really help me much
(Rating: 5) real stand-up guy, aren't you? and you're welcome
(Rating: 1) Remind me why you would bother to waste your time on a site like this if you aren't trying to help people? Your mocking is pathetic. Granted, some people sound a bit ridiculous, but it's not like you are so high and mighty that you never went through an awkward teenage phase. Why don't you find a more productive use of your time.
(Rating: 2) Lol, i agree with the first part of dearcandore but the second part was pretty harsh, i became this way because of him i was never jealous but he would always talk about how he wanted to be with others and thought others were better and wished i was better and blah and i was stupid enough to stay but he changed and i became jealous then he started being a sweetheart while i was a psycho bitch so now i changed i let him do whatever but stuff still bothers me sometimes it's just something i have trouble with as a person, Thank you anyway though:)
(Rating: 1) you should probably reconsider what your intentions of giving "advice" are. prick.
(Rating: 5) Not going to lie, they're pretty bad ass! Just wish I knew what they were saying, I kinda sorted the whole ex thing out, I talked to him, and he was a dick then a cry baby, so I said fuck it, I'm happy.
(Rating: 5) ....thanks
(Rating: 4) XD true that
(Rating: 5) Perfect picture.
(Rating: 2) My thoughts exactly! It's been a while since I've been in the dating game! Don't won't to offend be trite. Fucking as you put it at my age is over-rated and the least important to me. But thanks for the advice.
(Rating: 4) If i could understand what they were saying, i would probably actually like this band. The song is catchy though. Thanks :) (btw, you are now one of my favorite columnists because i read through the answers on your column and you're HILARIOUS and actually have a little commons sense)
(Rating: 5) Ha, well what good metal would you reccommend then? :P If all else fails, I will convince him to like my music! I already know he would dump his music for me anyday, haha ... gr8fruit
(Rating: 5) Thanks
(Rating: 5) Thank you :)
(Rating: 4) Then I would just get in trouble & they would be worse. I don't get grounded anymore, but since I don't have that great of job, I never haw money, & she'd tottally cut me off
(Rating: 2) Funny.
(Rating: 3) That entire question and you start shit about silly bandz? Wow, learn how to give better advice.
(Rating: 3) part of that made sense. The rest of it you just showed off how retarded you are.
(Rating: 1) HAHA! you are so not funny. -.-
(Rating: 2) That's your opinion, but you're really hot.
(Rating: 3) you could be nice about it, seriously.
(Rating: 5) thank you :) again... hahah
(Rating: 5) thanks!
(Rating: 5) you are awesome!
(Rating: 5) i found out that he is telling at least 3 girls i know the same thing and he has had sex with at least those 3 so he just uses that "line" to get with as many girls as he can. if a guy ever says this to you it is a lie he would break up with her if he loved you otherwise he is using both girls to get sex like this guy is doing with me cuz i had sex with him then i found out from my brother about all his girls. :(
(Rating: 1) omg, I've freakin used it before... xP ... 5 times
(Rating: 5) thankyou
(Rating: 5) yeah I know what I did was gross and wrong and im too young... the guy is sixteen tho and he made it feel like it wasn't even a big deal... and at the time I was doing it, it didn't feel like a big deal either. I get it now though. I screwed up... :/ thanks for the advice.
(Rating: 2) I don't think you should just break up with people. You should try to work it out
(Rating: 5) thank you for the link
(Rating: 5) thank you!
(Rating: 5) yeah true just didn't wanna seem clingy.
(Rating: 5) sorry i didn't have details i was crying and not thinking but thanks for trying to help! just that you cared enough to answer made me feel better. :)
(Rating: 2) what?
(Rating: 4) Thank you!
(Rating: 2) Rating changed by DN. wtf?
(Rating: 1) no, actually it isn't. I know this is all fun to you, but I made the mistake of going along with it and it completely destroyed my life.
(Rating: 5) Thank you for the new suggestions I may try some of those in the near future!
(Rating: 5) thank you!
(Rating: 1) wat a RUDE answer!!!!
(Rating: 5) shweet
(Rating: 5) Thanks for the compliment! You are, however, wrong about something. I have been asking around and every nice guy that would be someone I would like to be with has said that a virgin is attractive. Pretty much that a girl who isn't is damaged goods. This makes a lot of sense since I would never sleep with a guy who slept with more than two girls. Why should I expect them to feel any different about my level of disease exposure than I would feel about their own? I just hadn't thought about it as disease exposure before. Now I want to find a boy that is a virgin too!
(Rating: 5) Its arielle and you know you cant hide from the two of us. ;P you made that guy kick us off here but now we know proxy things so you can't get us to leave you alone any more hottie boy!!!!!!!!!
(Rating: 5) loveitttt.
(Rating: 5) We have a few posters up already, but I think that with our ages (I'm 19, he's 25) it might be a little young for us.
(Rating: 3) wow.. that's awesome of you to say -.-
(Rating: 5) hahaha thank you! i confronted him on it and he said that was his intention, to be a dousche.
(Rating: 5) That is a REALLY good point that I didn't think about at all. I forgot those things existed anyway. Thanks for that idea so I can take that into account if that was the real case. Since you brought that up, I think I'll ask my dad about it before saying anything to Mom. Thank you!
(Rating: 5) Awesome advice, I think. Thanks for your time on this...I really appreciate it. You are totally right...