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singingcheeiroMember Since:
February 8, 2005Answers:
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Long story short, I'm from Los Angeles, went to an amazing school, left the US and moved to the Middle East. I've been backpacking around Europe and the Middle East on and off since August 2013. Would you like to converse? Here's my Forum
Quite frankly, I'm sarcastic way more than I should be. Read a few of my answers, and you'll see that I am not totally mean to anyone.
Type correctly or go home. Yes, that is an ultimatum.
advice
Hi, I have been in a live-in relationship for 4 years. (Both in our 40's) We live in Canada. My boyfriend who likes to drink every night (5 or 6 beers) maybe more on the weekends. My concern is not the drinking right now. Its my job. He likes to invite certain people who also like to drink over to our house in the middle of the week. They come over around 8pm and drink until around 12. I do have a few drinks as well but had noticed lately that it has been affecting my work. I call in sick the next day or I'm exhausted at work and cant function fully. I'm gaining weight and I feel awful. I tried talking to my boyfriend on numerous occasions asking him to hold off during the week and how this affects me. He says he understands and agrees with me then when the next week comes, they call and he answers the phone and lets them come over again. I'm not a big drinker, even on the weekends when I'm off I may just have 1 glass of wine or nothing. I cant keep up with this anymore. My job is important to me and I have people that rely on me at work to do a good job. The only peace I do get is when my job requires me to travel which is once a month for a few days. Where I can get good sleep and rest. I am losing sleep over this, tossing and turning at night worrying. I have turned off the phone on week nights sometimes just so he doesn't answer it. But I hate doing that in case people are trying to get a hold of us in case of emergencies. Do you have any advice? I have no one here to talk to. We live in a remote area in the north. Really small community where everyone talks. I appreciate any advice. Thank you to all.
It's clear that your boyfriend's actions are really affecting you.
Is sobriety an option? It sounds like the drinking has been prioritized over you, which to me signals a problem. It may be worth meeting with an Alcoholics Anonymous group or a therapist to see if maybe he can put the drinks down.
That's part of the issue. The other part is that he isn't respecting your wishes. It's up to you to figure out how heavily this weighs in on your relationship. To me, something like that would eventually become an ultimatum and potential deal breaker. Obviously, you deserve to have your basic needs met, and a good night's sleep is one of them. I'd argue that a supportive and healthy partner is another basic need (especially if you already have a partner).
Another alternative would be suggesting that the men take the party elsewhere. Is there a friend's house he can go to so that he can still drink and you can sleep? Or maybe you have an insulated garage or back house? That way, you can remove yourself from the situation.
Best of luck!
I'm 15 and my friends(a little older than me) have been dating all that stuff.
I'm homechooled,and I live in a really small town so I don't really know any guys, and I really don't have much of a desire to date.
My family is Christian(I even live across the street from my church) and conservative.
I was wondering about when I have a boyfriend. I would have no idea what to do since I've never dated before, And considering that my freinds have already done sexual things, I'm worried he'd pressure me.
I would much rather wait to lose my virginity(preferably till marrage),I don't want a relationship to be all about sex and making out and stuff, I want it to be like we're best friends and all I really need is a guy who is nice, has a sense of humor, and treats me well.
I don't know...I guess I'm just afraid that when I do get a boyfriend he'll try to pressure me to do stuff I'm not ready for and I might not be able to say no... I'm really shy and I just don't know how to talk to guys either...
To add to what the other person said, don't feel obligated to do things just because your friends are doing them. I know that sounds like social suicide of sorts, but it's not. People develop at different rates, sure, but there are also lots of external factors that affect our individual priorities.
With my group of friends from high school, one lost her virginity extremely early and another is already married. Two very different scenarios from my own life, but that doesn't mean that those girls aren't still my friends.
As far as a relationship being all about sex, I would argue that most relationships eventually go there. That doesn't mean that yours would have to go there anytime soon. There are lots of other aspects to a relationship. Anyone who tries to pressure you doesn't have your best interests at heart, and that's not the type of significant other you want.
If you're worried about not being able to express your boundaries, I would agree that you're also not ready to put yourself into situations in which your boundaries would need to be expressed. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
Don't worry and speak your mind.
Amy
22/f
Do any products that claim to be able to whiten your teeth at home really work? I need serious advice to whiten mine since I quit smoking but still drink coffee and tea which stains your teeth. :(
Whitening toothpastes (not any specific one in particular) and Crest Whitestrips have worked to keep my teeth nice and white despite my newfound love of coffee.
Do be careful that you don't over whiten. I accidentally fell asleep with the strips on once, and my teeth were extremely sensitive for a couple of days afterwards. Not pleasant.
Enjoy having a beautiful smile!
I am wanting to get all the junk cleaned out of my pores that is clogging them. I was wondering if a cleansing brush would help?
I love my Clarisonic! It was a bit of an investment, but I use it twice a day and my skin looks much healthier. I use it with Cetaphil face wash, which is really gentle.
Moisturizing (even if you think your skin is already oily) is also really important. I do it twice a day and that also keeps my skin looking fresh and clean.
i m from a middle class family..I had an elder brother..my mom always hurts me for each and every unnecessary things..this is from my childhood.my dad never took us as a responsibility.he nodes his head for whatever my mom says.whatever happens in our home my parents scolds me even i dnt have anyhting to do with what had happened.
My mother has a friend who is a pastor..he is such a cunning guy..i hate him.he misbehaves with me in front of my mom.but my mom doesn't say anything about this..even i complained to her she said that i am thinking in wrong way.one day even my friends saw the behavior of that uncle and warned me about him.since my mom didn't care about me i complained to my brother.even he didn't took any action on this.i was really shattered of this situation.slowly my mom changed my dads mind against me and now they are harassing and hurting every day..every hour..i am not able to bear all this...i don't have anyone to help me out even. None believes me...because my mom has done like that.i started to hate myself.i am losing hope on everyone and even on myself..
Please anyone could help from this situation..day by day my situation is becoming worse..what can i do?????!!!!
Many schools have a police officer who is assigned to the school. They, or social workers, are experts in these areas. At school tomorrow, please ask at school. You can say something as simple as "Someone at home is hurting me and I need help."
Do keep in mind that people who work in schools are mandated first reporters. This means that they are required by law to tell the police if someone tells them what I told you to tell them. Only you can decide what you want to do, but I highly suggest telling someone. You should not be abused by your parents. This is not acceptable behavior for adults.
My bf and I are both in 6th grade and have been dating 4months. We both want to kiss and he keeps asking me what kind of kiss I want it to be and I say traditional with a little French and when I ask him he always replays with French for our FIRST kiss!!!!! Im not sure if I should just please him or try to keep him out of my mouth?!?!!? Also I REALLY want to kiss him because I've had my first kiss already and hasn't and we both want to but I'm waiting on him to make the first move but he is waiting on me. Who should make the first move. I've tried to give him hints that I'm ready and he just doesn't pick them up. Also we hold hands a lot now and he has put his arm around me a few times. We also tell eachother that we love eachother is that too soon? Anything helps thanks:).
I see that you have a couple of questions here about this whole situation with your boyfriend, and the first thing you need to do is breathe.
It's also really important that you do whatever you are comfortable with. Based on your question, it seems as though you're a little hesitant about a french kiss, which is totally normal. You don't need to do anything just because he wants to/wants you to. That is something I can't stress enough. This won't be fun unless you're both comfortable with whatever is going on.
Though men traditionally make the first move, I don't see anything wrong with making the first move yourself. I am usually the one to define my relationships by asking people to be my boyfriend, etc. Especially since you already know he wants to kiss you and likes you, it could go either way.
Now about the actual kiss, I don't think you need to plan and talk about it so much! Every first kiss is different and a tiny bit awkward. You're beginning to figure out each other's bodies. Once you actually have your first kiss (meaning your lips and his lips touch once), you will know whether that's enough for you, or if you want to kiss him again (and if so, how).
Love is something that I think everyone has a slightly different definition for, to be honest. Now, I'm in no place to tell you whether or not you're in love, but usually that's a pretty serious thing to say. Most of the (adult) couples I know have taken a few months to say it. But, different things are different at different ages. Again, if YOU are comfortable with all of this, then it doesn't really matter what I think (or what anyone else thinks, for that matter), now does it? ;)
Hi!
My family is looking at vacation packages heading to several European countries and I have a couple of things I could use advice on: We are Canadian, so we really don't know much about Europe, since we have never been. I mention this because we don't want to offend anyone, or leave them thinking that all Canadians are stupid or something. LOL! Is there some crash course in how not to offend people when you travel to 14 countries in 21 days?
Also, if you were packing for a trip like this, or have been on one at all, are there things you wish you had brought, or left behind?
This is our first family trip abroad, and I would really love any advice you have about travelling or Europe in general.
Thank you!
Bring a travel converter/adapter, for sure. You can buy pretty much anything you need/forget.
I've been traveling all over Europe and the Middle East for the past 7 months, and the most important thing is to ask questions if you're not sure. You're not going to blend in, but learning pleasantries in the local language will take you a long way. Hello, thank you, etc. are good to know, and learning them shows that you care about learning about their culture. Every culture has certain things you should know, like for example, in Hungary, don't say "thank you" until you've received your change. If you say it and hand someone money, it's the same as saying "keep the change".
I would be more than happy to elaborate on certain cultures if you edit your question to include your itinerary. Also, there are lots of great travel blogs, many are even targeted to female travelers. It will be really hot over the summer, but Europeans generally still look put together. In Spain last summer, for example, no one but me was wearing workout shorts. I don't know how they look so good all the time, but I digress...
You answered my question about having low self esteem because of acne. How do i deal with low self esteem?
Try to find one thing each day that you love about yourself! That is what I do on days when I have low self-esteem (we all do!). So, if I'm having a terrible hair day but my outfit looks cute, I try to focus on that.
If you're worried about your skin in particular, you could try wearing makeup if it makes you feel more confident. I know I really liked wearing Bare Minerals since it seemed like one of the better options for my skin.
My mother is a photographer and a few years ago i didnt relly have acne and i did alot of photoshoots now when i look back at my photos it makes me want to have perfect skin again and it makes me feel really horrible :( what can i do to get rid of it? Here are the things i came up with
*hide under the covers and sit in my room all day and cry
*drink lots and lots and LOTS of water
*do a 30 minute walk to school and a 30 minute walk back home because exercise is good for you
*research what vitamins are the best at reducing acne (i asked a question about that here
*give up unhealthy foods
*carry facial wipes to school to wipe my face at break/lunch break because sweat can cause acne
*and ask alot of questions here to find out about things that i can not find online
thank you :)
It's always frustrating to struggle with your skin. I've noticed a recent change in my own skin for the better, most likely due to a few things:
I've been eating more healthfully and drinking at least a couple of liters of water each day. Beautiful inside = beautiful outside.
I've also been cleaning my skin regularly, but gently. I use Cetaphil, which is colorless and scentless and really, really gentle. I use a Clarisonic brush for a minute every morning and night, and my skin feels so clean. The brush will dry out my skin, though, if I don't moisturize. I've found again that relatively natural, plain stuff helps my skin. I use Ahava Dead Sea moisturizing serum and moisturizer with SPF. Now, just because I use these products doesn't mean that they will be best for you. I'd recommend going somewhere with lots of brands (like Sephora) so that they can help you.
I used to over-clean my skin, and it make my skin much worse. A little oil is good for your skin. You probably don't need to wash your face more than twice a day (and even that could be too harsh if you have sensitive skin.
Another option is to talk to a doctor about hormonal birth control. This can also help your skin, but has other side effects (that I personally hated, like gaining weight) that you should definitely talk to your doctor about.
Facials can help as well, and a good esthetician will help you learn how to take care of your skin at home.
Good luck!
-Amy
22/f
Taking credit card payments with your phone? Is it true that you can actually do this with an iPhone? How do you do it? Do you need to buy anything? Can you use it in a business? Or, was someone just pulling my leg? :)
Square is the name of one that I've used for awhile. You can either order it online for free or buy it in an Apple store and get an instant rebate.
It is a small (1" square) device that plugs into the headphone jack. You can absolutely use it in a business setting. Better yet, if other people have the Square app, you can exchange money through the app without even needing cards at all.
I'm sure there are others on the market that I just haven't tested.
-Amy
(22/f)
I've always been a health freak. I feel like I need to count every calorie that I take in and then workout everyday and figure out how much I burn. I eat the same low calorie foods over and over and don't get me wrong, I'm not anorexic. (I'm 5'3" 120 lbs) with alot of lean muscle, however I feel as if I'm a little too obsessed with gaining weight-fat in particular. But I can't take it anymore, I feel like I can't go out for drinks with friends becausee of all the calories or I have to be super careful what I order at dinner not to exceed my calorie count but it's driving me crazy using the my calorie counter 24/7 when I should be enjoying myself. I am young. So I wanted is anyone else like this or do I have a problem?
I'm 22 and of roughly the same body composition as you. At the turn of the year, I decided that I was going to write down everything I ate for a month, and I too became obsessed with it. I stopped after the month was over, because I realized how much it was stressing me out. What I gained from the experience is the fact that I now really understand what I put into my body, which is important. It seems like you also have that knowledge.
Since I stopped counting calories and writing down everything I was eating, I haven't gained weight. I haven't been binging on junk food. I understand that it's all a balancing act. So, if I go out with my friends for drinks, I'll go for a run the next day.
Like others have said, mental health and physical health are both important, and definitely related.
Does anyone know when the iPhone 6 is coming out? I need a new phone because I dropped my 5s and I don't want to buy a new 5s if the 6 is coming out soon! :)
The release date has not been announced. There are some sites that publish rumors and make predictions based on past release dates, but the official stuff will always be on apple.com.
Take your phone to an Apple store; they will have some options to purchase a phone for less than the full retail price of the phone. You may also have insurance or an extended warranty, which you might also want to look into.
Is the sprint coverage map accurate? I want to switch to sprint because of the unlimited data plan but on the map I am close to the edge of the area? I don't want to sign up then find out I have to go 4 blocks away to use my phone! LOL! Any opinions about sprint from people who have used them?
Keep in mind that carriers are constantly expanding their networks. Talk to a Sprint rep about who they contract with when people leave their coverage area. Verizon is also a CDMA network (like Sprint), which means that their phones can pick up the same type of signals (FYI, AT&T and T-Mobile use GSM, which is why you won't pick up their signals on a Sprint phone.).
If you know anybody with Sprint, just have them bring their phone to your house (or wherever you're concerned about not getting coverage) and you'll be able to see firsthand.
Sprint has had great customer service from my experiences with them (I worked as a 3rd party sales representative, in a way, for about a year.). I'd assume that their map is accurate (and is on the more generous side if biased at all).
On another note, most people don't actually need unlimited data. I was sad at first when I realized I was losing mine with Verizon, but then I used a data calculator (Verizon has a great one.) and realized that I use less than 1 GB of data per month…even though I'm ALWAYS on my iPhone. So, there's that to consider as well if you're worried about the coverage.
There are so many travel sites to choose from now, I don't even know where to start! In your opinion, which is the best website to get a great deal on plane flights? At least, which one(s) have you had the best luck with?
I've been pretty successful with skyscanner.net and kayak.com. Skyscanner is nice because it will show you flights from a specific destination to anywhere in the world. And if you don't know where that "anywhere" is, just type "everywhere" in the destination field and the site will show you the cheapest flights.
I would advise trying to book through the airlines directly (and not through travel agents, petas.gr, etc.). I've recently learned that you lose a lot of protections offered by the airline when you book through third parties.
It also REALLY depends on where you're going (which you didn't specify in your question). I've dealt mostly with international flights in Europe and Mexico. Someone else may be able to give more insight on American flights (if that's where you're from).
Have an amazing trip; travel is the best thing ever!
Howdy Amy,
Might want to clear your cache. The password is working fine. :-)
DN.
YAY it works it works it works!! :)
I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long!
I wouldn't. I think trust is SO important...too important not to have.
I need professional serious music management.
tips....anyone
SOUNDS LIKE SHAVON
search me...
Perform anywhere you can. If you're in LA, the right people will notice.
You can also send a press kit to different managers, though "getting discovered" is usually a better alternative.
Title pretty much says it all. I want to get my nose pierced and I want to know how much it costs and if it is worth it or should I get a friend to do it for me?
I am really scared of infection since I had an ear get infected and it was really bad.
Thank you please?
If you haven't done it yet, I urge you to consider the idea that you get what you pay for. Obviously, you should go to a piercer who is experienced. Many states do NOT have license requirements, and looking to find a piercer who has gone above and beyond to get certified by an independent bureau (like the APP) is well worth it.
There are always risks with piercings, and by getting a friend to do it for you, you REALLY put yourself into danger. Piercing infections can turn deadly.
I will be in the NYC area around this time and I would love to see The Academy Is... and All Time Low at the Miley Sized thingy at Time Square. I have no idea how to get tickets or attend but I have money to spare.
I'm 16 years old and recently had my BDay so that's where the money is from.
Miley is going to some kid's house for the New Year's thing. She will not be in Times Square.
HIIIIII :)
18, female.
still a virgin
well i'm just wondering how many girls do you think have gotten their cherry popped while getting fingered? i will be so embarassed if this happens to me, the guy will be grossed out, right? the guy i'm thinking about doing this with has only had one other sexual partner, and that was his girlfriend of a year and i'm pretty sure her hymen and cherry was popped before they even started becoming sexual so he has never experienced this before and it would be awkward talking about it beforehand but if while we're doing it, it happens i will be so EMBARASSED! i dont know what to do! there is a possibility that it has already popped. i've been using tampons for about 4 years now and ive played 4 sports but nothing has ever really hurt badly enough down there so i don't think it has popped? i just dont know what to do, i know its a normal thing but how do i overcome this problem.
It most likely has, if you've been using tampons for four years.