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What kind of kiss should our first kiss be?
My bf and I are both in 6th grade and have been dating 4months. We both want to kiss and he keeps asking me what kind of kiss I want it to be and I say traditional with a little French and when I ask him he always replays with French for our FIRST kiss!!!!! Im not sure if I should just please him or try to keep him out of my mouth?!?!!? Also I REALLY want to kiss him because I've had my first kiss already and hasn't and we both want to but I'm waiting on him to make the first move but he is waiting on me. Who should make the first move. I've tried to give him hints that I'm ready and he just doesn't pick them up. Also we hold hands a lot now and he has put his arm around me a few times. We also tell eachother that we love eachother is that too soon? Anything helps thanks:).
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The kind of kiss you guys have for your first kiss is completely up to the two of you. There isn't really a "right" one to go with for your guys' first. But the thing is, you're not sure if you want your first kiss with him to be a full on french kiss and that's totally fine. You should never, ever do anything that makes you even a little bit uncomfortable with a guy. You don't want to do things just to please him that will make you feel uncomfortable. I mean your boundaries need to be set somewhere or else you'll be pressured into doing even more.
So just sit down and tell him that you're not comfortable yet with french kissing so you'd rather just have it as a traditional kiss.
As for who should make the first move. It doesn't really matter. My current boyfriend kissed me first, but I kissed the last guy I was dating first so it's really about who has the confidence to do so. But most don't plan a kiss, it usually comes natural so don't over think it.
And telling each other you love each other? It's different for every person. My best guess is that it is a little soon for being in 6th grade and only dating for 4 months. It's different for every person but that's just my opinion.
So in the end, just tell him what you're comfortable with it and stick by it. Don't be pressured. If you want to make the first move, go for it.
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You already have a problem. A person who keeps repeating a question making it look like you have a choice in the matter but is not happy with the answer you give, will keep repeating the question until you change your answer and give the one they want. This is a subtle controlling method. You don't realize that they want their way and are manipulating you into doing it their way.
In this scenerio, its all about him and what he wants. He's young, inexperienced and has a lot to learn yet about how to interact with and treat other people. If you let him have the french kiss he insists the first kiss should be, he will move on to the next issue he works to get you to do against your own wishes. I am sure there must be something nice about him, but a girl who doesnt set boundaries and tell a guy what is or isn't okay with her is going to end up miserable with guys who control and manipulate their girls. And that is not love...That isn't even a strong 'likeing' of someone. You don't treat your best friends that way, or let them treat you that way. Neither should it be okay just cus its a boyfriend.
The feelings you experience for each other are more likely to be a result of the hormones of puberty and those feelings of attraction for the opposite sex rather than love. A real true love takes some time to develop and is based more on the discoveries made through experiences together of each others character rather than initial attraction.
When a guy says I love you vs a girl saying it, there could be different meanings behind what they say. For example, early on when someone says I love you, they are actually saying, "There are some things about you that I really really like, not that they are 'deeply in love with you'.
As to who should make the first move. It doesn't matter. A girl can as well as the guy.
If you decide to go through with kissing, then you better have a conversation about what is and is not okay with you. Spell it out. Make sure there are no questions in his mind. Don't be wishy washy. If you don't like french kissing at all, then say so. If you don't like french kissing with someone you haven't developed deep feelings for yet, then say so and then tell him that you haven't developed those feelings with him yet so if you kiss, you will not accept french kissing.
It might be smart to make an ultimatum, that if he will not honor your wishes, and tries to french kiss before you say you are ready, then you will give him the boot and break up. You have to be willing to do this though because allowing him to get away with it will cause bigger problems.
If you stay with him when he forces french kissing on you when he knew fully well from your talk with him that it was not okay, then he knows he can get away with not honoring your wishes, not respecting you, not caring about your feelings and that actually begins to train a young boy how to become a lazy, selfish, disrespectful inconsiderate, unloving boyfriend as he grows up. Many of these terrible boyfriends grow up to be adult men who still don't treat women well because no girl was ever confident enough to make a stand and tell him what you will and will not tolerate in behavior from him. And the only way some guys learn is by being repeatedly dumped by girl after girl whom he mistreats. Eventually even the slow learners will get it and know they have to treat the young ladys better.
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I'm just a few years older than you (9th grade) and here's my advice. When I started going out with my first boyfriend (my current one) I was terrified about the idea of kissing him cause i hadn't had my first yet. In the end i ended up making the first move and kissing him first. You don't always have to wait on the guy for the first move. On what type of kiss, i agree you should probably do traditional for the first one at least. My boyfriend new for the first few weeks i wasn't comfortable with french kissing and waited till I was ready. I've actually been in my relationship as long as you have and I honestly love my boyfriend but i don't know about your situation. It depend son how mature both people are. You guys might be a little young. I'm not sure. But if he tries to frnech kiss you and you aren't ready stop and tell him so. Just make sure your boundaries are firm. I wish you luck on your first kiss with him :)
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I see that you have a couple of questions here about this whole situation with your boyfriend, and the first thing you need to do is breathe.
It's also really important that you do whatever you are comfortable with. Based on your question, it seems as though you're a little hesitant about a french kiss, which is totally normal. You don't need to do anything just because he wants to/wants you to. That is something I can't stress enough. This won't be fun unless you're both comfortable with whatever is going on.
Though men traditionally make the first move, I don't see anything wrong with making the first move yourself. I am usually the one to define my relationships by asking people to be my boyfriend, etc. Especially since you already know he wants to kiss you and likes you, it could go either way.
Now about the actual kiss, I don't think you need to plan and talk about it so much! Every first kiss is different and a tiny bit awkward. You're beginning to figure out each other's bodies. Once you actually have your first kiss (meaning your lips and his lips touch once), you will know whether that's enough for you, or if you want to kiss him again (and if so, how).
Love is something that I think everyone has a slightly different definition for, to be honest. Now, I'm in no place to tell you whether or not you're in love, but usually that's a pretty serious thing to say. Most of the (adult) couples I know have taken a few months to say it. But, different things are different at different ages. Again, if YOU are comfortable with all of this, then it doesn't really matter what I think (or what anyone else thinks, for that matter), now does it? ;)
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