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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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i used to love the classic Disney Cartoons as a kid they did great in the 20s 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s 80s 90s and early 20000s back when i really loved disney i used enjoy toon disney becuase it had wonderful cartoons but whats popular with Disney now is shows that i really cant stand such as Ant Farm Austin and Ally Shake it Up Good Luck Charlie and i regret the days when Hannah Montana Wizards of Waverly Place and Jonas were popular im real sick of it why did that all happen

I thought you might appreciate this Disney history video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSP35IZTXM

I looked for a video that takes you from Walts very start, much like presented in the short clip here all the way through today with his nephew Roy Disney narrating lots of it. It takes us through the successes, how many people were needed to pull it off before technology advances brought them to where they are today. I couldn't find it, sorry. Maybe if you do a search, you'll come up with if. It was at least 45 min long. It talked about Disneys slump in business. As cost of living and everything else rose, it became quite expensive to continue to put together their cartoon movies. Their 2nd slump was of course when computers came along and all of a sudden they had competition and some young artists instead of going to work for Disney went elsewhere like Pixar. Once upon a time, Disney was the only major employer of artists doing this kind of work, now every country is able to do their own animation movies if they want to. Technology makes it so much easier but then it also raises the expectancy of quality and not every artists ability is on par with what is needed today,nor are they up to the grueling amount of time that has to be put into these movies to keep up with demand for more, even with computer technology. Disney company has likely branched off in ways that Walt himself never imagined could be possible, and likely some productions that he wouldn't approve of. I believe Roy is retired now too in early 2000's and have no idea if any living relations of the original Walt Disney have any say or control of what the Disney Empire does today.
It is sad, but no one else can claim to be the first to do what he did. He is the grand daddy of all animated movies, and that is a wonderful legacy to have.

My friend cuts because her parents can't except that she's gay

What a wonderful friend you are to be trying to help her.
I believe there must be parent groups that meet, parents of kids who are gay to talk out their feelings and learn how to be accepting. The link is a site for parents that she might send to her parents to look at.
http://voices.yahoo.com/parenting-learning-accept-gay-child-3487887.html?cat=25

Watch the llink for video. A young lady addresses moms and dads about what is important and how to accept gay child and love and support them. If you think its a good one for her to bring up on computer and ask her parents to watch with her, then pass it along. What is the ultimate thing that a parent should want for their child? In this video, she drills it into the parents...and that is to want your child to be happy above anything else. I got to see my own in laws reaction to finding out their youngest son was gay. He actually dated women in earlier years so we had no idea, just figured he was destined to be single all his life and then he meets someone of the same sex, love at first sight. When I asked her what she thought when he told her, her only words to me were, I only want my son to be happy. If this is what makes him happy, then I am happy for him. It almost made me cry. Share all this with your friend dear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvsH1Bl5xGM#t=493

So, I have been having a dream for over a year now that I've had a little boy, he's mixed race. I have this dream a least once a week, I was wondering if anyone knew the reason for this? This baby I have is so beautiful. I've had dreams were I'm breast feeding him, I'm pushing him in a pram, I've been in labour, I've had my own house with everything unpacked, like the pram, cot and all the basics. I've felt this baby kick in my dream, I've felt him move and ever since I've had this dream, it's always been a boy. I don't think of starting a family just yet, I've recently just gotten in to a relationship. It's not a dream to wish to settle down, because I've been having these dreams before entering my relationship with my current partner. It's something that's telling me it's a boy, there were this one time I gave birth to him and whilst I was in the hospital, I went to the toilet to find one of my family members had dressed my baby in pink, I started shouting saying "Why are you dressing my son in pink?" So it's like there's something trying to tell me it's a boy. Every time I wake up from these dreams, I feel love for this baby, it's like a reality and he never goes out of my mind. I was just wondering if someone has ever experienced this? Is this like a future plan? I'd love people to share their thoughts and experiences, thanks.

F/17

I first thoughts are that a baby represents something new in your life, or coming into your life. Or the start of a new stage of your life such as being a legal adult soon, start of a new hobby, etc. It can also represent that creativeness within the female, her ability to create new life translating to creating or starting something new, whether art, a business, a project.

The web has many places to go to find dream dictionaries.
Here's one I found for you
http://www.dreamsleep.net/meanings/baby/

I think the video is more helpful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSP35IZTXM

Good luck!

So my boyfriend sent/post lyrics to this song, and even after looking up the lyrics & what not, I still do not know if I should take this as a good or bad sign. HELP?

HI hon. There may be a reason he posted the song, a message he's trying to get across, or there may be no message or signs at all he wants you to pick up on. It is a fact, maybe not as well known as should be among males and females that their thought processes are quite different.

So while you are busy trying to read something into the lyrics of the song, it may not have any hidden meaning intended. He may be simply sharing something with you, sharing a song that he likes to help you get to know more about him, some of his favorite songs, singers, actors etc...

The only way to know if there was something to look for in the first place is to ask him.

"So why'd you think to share that particular song with me the other day? Is it a favorite song or favorite group of yours? Or do the lyrics have special meaning to you?
Get him talking. Conversation, not just surface stuff like how are you, fine, whatcha doing,nuthin much is not going to help get to know each other. Asking people to share what they are thinking or feeling especially if in a relationship with them is healthy and normal, it is not prying and being nosy.

I read the lyrics of the song out of curiousity. I could give you several possibilities of what it means if it was a message he was sending. So find out why he sent it, if the words mean anything to him and if you are still confused after a good conversation with him, let me know what his responses were, and we'll take it from there.

For what it's worth, the writer of the lyrics in his chorus seems to state that he feels he is a negative creature and will be a bad influence on the girl because he sees her as pure and innocent. Or Possibly conveying a message of gratefulness, not understanding how they came to deserve such a wonderful person in their life but being thankful for them just the same.

hey, 2 weeks ago me 18 years old and my gf 15 years old were having sex, and by mistake we didnt use a condom but i split my sperms outside her vagina in her tummy . My question what are her chances of getting pregnant even if i split my sperms outside? and how can i find wether she is pregnant or not?

Too late to ask this question now. You should have asked immediately or the day after. She could have taken plan B (the morning after pill) if taken within 3 days of the incident.

She can take a pregnancy test to see if she is pregnant. Theres a very good chance she is because sperm anywhere on the outside or on fingers inserted can get the female pregnant.

If you and her plan to continue being sex partners, she should be on reliable birth control such as a pill or iud, etc...condoms are good but prone to accidents, ripping, slipping off, etc..
Its a must to wear for protection against disease but not the best prevention against pregnancy

If she doesnt have insurance or family dr. she should go to Planned Parenthood immediately. They can test her. And they can put her on birth control or give her the options if pregnant.

15/f I'm a sophomore in high school and ever since last year guys have always taken notice of me. I knew I would get some attention from guys but I did not think I would get as much attention as I did. A lot of times, if I wasn't so laid back, I could reported it as sexual harassment or something because I didn't know many of them. But now I am friends with mostly all of them and they are all really great guys. anyway I hear things that guys say about as far as my looks and everything how I'm attractive and like I take it as a compliment but it bothers me that guys are so intimated by me. Guys that are older than me are hesitant to talk to me even though I know they want to talk to me and make conversation. I know it's normal for guys to get nervous around girls but guys are straight up like scared of me. I don't take shit from anyone, I'm confident, and I'm attractive to guys so I guess it does make sense to why guys are afraid because for example if I don't want to do something with a guy that I don't want to do I will tell them straight up no and I think they are just afraid of rejection but I'm not gonna change that part of me. But mostly they think I'm really cold but I'm not you just have to get to know me. I have trust issues with guys so I'm not the most outgoing flirtatious girl around guys I'm a little more reserved around guys and then one I get to know them I'll open up. But even a guy I hooked up(made out)with two weeks ago I saw him and he didn't say hi even though I knew he would've he's just afraid and I don't even know why. It's like I always have to make the first move and I'm kind of tired of it. How do I make guys feel not so intimated around me??

I hear that it can be a bummer when all the guys who have interest in you are making comments or paying you attention because of your looks. How will you ever know if he likes you for who you are on the inside? Especially if they are too intimidated to talk to you.
What does not make sense is that a guy who you hooked up with, had to have felt some level of being able to approach you and be comfortable with you to get to that point. For him to feel intimidated afterwards...nope I dont think so. there has to been another reason he didn't talk to or acknowledge you.

Since you did not go into details as to what you would constitute as sexual harassment behavior from theses male classmates, I have no idea what to tell you. Lots of staring, winking, smiling, or complimenting you on your outfit or your hair, is innocent and perfectly harmless. On the other hand, sexual harassment involves unwanted and unwelcome words, deeds, actions, gestures, symbols, or behaviours of a sexual nature that make the target feel uncomfortable.

If the guys are saying things about your body parts, making statements as to what they want to do sexually to you, using hand symbols or body gestures that imply touching you intimately or having sex with you, doing the cat calls and whistles, etc... then this is sexual harassment.

I will assume that is whats happening.
Being a strong person with a good self image and not being affected by their actions and not protesting their harassment, could have unfortunately, contributed to your problem.
Let me explain.
It's possible that instead of intimidated, these guys you've now befriended are confused. Its not intentional of course, just how they may interpret the facts. Guys don't think the same as girls. On the one hand, you appear to them to eating up and enjoying the kind of attention they are giving because you don't protest or avoid any interaction with them...and yet you're saying no to whatever...whether its holding hands, kissing, letting him walk with his arm around you, or the hooking up or more.

A great amount of guys at this age are looking for their first sexual experiences, they are being hormone driven and so often the attention from boys will be limited to seeking out the pretty girls and hoping she loves the attention cus usually it means she'll be easy.
Not all the guys are like that. There will be guys who like you but have class and wouldn't act like the others and have more respect for you, your personality will matter more to them.

But these guys will also not approach you because they think they'd never have a chance, you already have a swarm of guys you can pick from, likely the jocks and more popular outgoing guys.
You stated you are more reserved, slow to warm up and befriend. I think that if you were going to continue to have to make the first move (thats just the way it is at this age range) then It might be best to study the guys who don't make themselves obvious and flock around you. Start watching the quiet guys, maybe those who seem like nerds or just shy. They may be slow to warm up, not have as confident a self image yet as yourself, so they will not approach you. But if you are attracted to one of these guys and approach him as a friend and show your genuine interest in him, he will open up and become one of the best male friends and maybe romantic interest you could get.
The others think you are cold because they haven't really bothered to get to know you. Likely all their interactions with you are at a surface level.

If you are confident, then you will not like a guy who isn't confident.

If you feel these guys are all being nice and its not a sexual thing with them, then you can keep trying. When you talk to them next though, let em know that you don't like friendships where the effort is always one way. SAY THIS: For a friendship to work, it requires constant effort from both sides. I am tired of being the only one having to make an effort. And yet you hang around near me and give off signals like you are interested in me. If your interest is skin deep, then you can run along now and leave me alone. If you are interested in building friendship first, getting to know who I really am, and appreciating the me that is inside of me, then I will welcome you into my world. Don't be surprised if every single one of them backs away. Or if only one is still sticking around.

If you find none of your current male admirers want to put in the effort, then start checking out the quiet ones who try to remain hidden and don't seek the attention. They are still males and some of them may actually really like you...all of you. I've got the nerd type guy for a husband. He's quiet and doesnt smile and looks intimidating to a stranger. But once he opens up to you, all traces of being reserved are gone, his sense of humor comes out, he is very chatty with me and friends but quiet with strangers, very loving and supportive. So don't go by first impressions...and you just might find a jewel.

I am a 14 year old female. I've asked previous questions regarding my grandmothers passing and anything family related. I brought that up because I feel that my question today may have something to do with it. Today it has been 3 months that my grandmother has passed away. Ever since my parents have had a tad bit of money issues. Well today I went to a local ice cream shop with my sister. We had already ordered what we wanted so we were just waiting for them to hand us the ice cream. The shop was completely alone. I turned around and a teenage guy I would say looked about 17 or 18 years old was talking to the cashier. I hadn't seen him walk in or heard the door open. He was talking to the cashier for a bit then another worker handed my ice cream. I was sitting down at one of the tables and I stood up to go get it at the counter. Nothing was on the floor, counter. Everything was clear. Then when I was walking back I noticed the guy had bent down to pick something up, he walked towards me and handed me a $10 bill. I was confused and he had said I dropped it. I received and thanked him thinking my sister may have dropped the bill. I asked and she had the bills already in her wallet. When I turned around to see if the guy was still there he was gone. We left right after and he was no where to be seen in the distance. I was confused and panicked. I'm thinking that maybe it was my grandmother letting me know that me and my family will get through this and that we'll soon regain the money we need to be able to carry on as we usually did.

I think you pretty much guessed it right. This was definitely a sign of encouragement from the other side, whether from Grandma herself or her asking your guardian angels to do something to encourage you. Though I've not had the exact same experience, I've had other experiences that can not be explained too. Loved ones and angels do work with us. My belief is that angels can make themselves look solid and actually be solid so to interact with people. What a wonderful experience.
So, no..there's no logical explanation, things of the spiritual realm don't follow logical explanation.

i am dating a guy who is 29 years older than me. he is divorced not because of me though i met him later and has 2 kids one is older by a year and the other is in middle school. we have been dating 2 yrs and through out the relationship his son has been doing things and saying things to me that are important to know for the father. we stay together so i find it that he should know but when i tell him and he questions him he denies it. he says he never said those things and we end up arguing a lot. he even lies to the father infront of me about me and i try and defend myself but i end up getting introuble. how do i deal with this i always come out the liar and he always comes out the angel when it is opposite?? i love him more than anything but his son is driving me out the door how do i go about and solve such a problem??

I have no problem with couples who have a big age difference. It isn't the norm. but it is possible to have a healthy productive relationship.
Right now, yours doesnt sound healthy.
You did not give your age. If you are under 18, the legal age of consent, then you need to wait until you are before being with anyone older, otherwise this guy could end up in jail.
What you do say is the other is in middle school.

What I am not sure of is the phrase, "one is older by a year"

That could mean the older brother is older than the middle schooler by a year, or that he is one year older than you. That is what I base my answer on. Most people on the average have kids 2 -3 yrs apart. Its rare but some might have an age spacing of 5 or 10 yrs when theres none in between, but like i said, rare. A middle schooler is 11-12 or 12-13. So an older brother by 5 yrs is 17-18 which puts you at 16-17. If a 10 yr age difference is between brothers he might be as old as 22-23 or anywhere in between with you at the very oldest, 21-22. But ten years is very unlikely. So I am guessing that you are a senior in high school or just one year out of school.
I know we all feel so grown up at that point, but looking back, I can see I made a big mistake jumping into things and marrying at 20.
The biggest problem here dear is that for all humans, their bodies develop faster than the frontal part of our brain that controls being able to make good decisions, good judgement calls, look ahead to see possible pitfalls or consequences of going a certain path.
Right now you're looking through rose colored glasses of love, of having a man who has interest in you. This part of the brain isn't complete until our mid twenties so any decisions we make before then, could really end up being very crappy ones, or at least not in our best interest.
My advice is that it is best to get out of the relationship and wait until you are older with more life experience so you have it easier to see for yourself whether it is true love and a healthy relationship between you and this man or whether you are in an unhealthy relationship and possibly just being used.

Here are some facts:
His son, being only a yr older still has the under developed brain and will do silly or stupid things or make trouble for no reason at all. It could have a reason, he may resent that dad is dating someone the age that he normally dates.

Another fact: Some people go through mid-life crisis. Often for men in the I have no problem with couples who have a big age difference. It isn't the norm. but it is possible to have a healthy productive relationship.
Right now, yours doesnt sound healthy.
You did not give your age. If you are under 18, the legal age of consent, then you need to wait until you are before being with anyone older, otherwise this guy could end up in jail.
What you do say is the other is in middle school.

What I am not sure of is the phrase, "one is older by a year"

That could mean the older brother is older than the middle schooler by a year, or that he is one year older than you. Most people on the average have kids 2 -3 yrs apart. Its rare but some might have an age spacing of 5 or 10 yrs when theres none in between, but like i said, rare. A middle schooler is 11-12 or 12-13. So an older brother by 5 yrs is 17-18 which puts you at 16-17. If a 10 yr age difference is between brothers he might be as old as 22-23 or anywhere in between with you at the very oldest, 21-22. But ten years is very unlikely. So I am guessing that you are a senior in high school or just one year out of school.
I know we all feel so grown up at that point, but looking back, I can see I made a big mistake jumping into things and marrying at 20.
The biggest problem here dear is that for all humans, their bodies develop faster than the frontal part of our brain that controls being able to make good decisions, good judgement calls, look ahead to see possible pitfalls or consequences of going a certain path.
Right now you're looking through rose colored glasses of love, of having a man who has interest in you. This part of the brain isn't complete until our mid twenties so any decisions we make before then, could really end up being very crappy ones, or at least not in our best interest.

Here are some facts:
1. His son, being only a yr older still has the under developed brain and will do silly or stupid things or make trouble for no reason at all.( It could have a reason, he may resent that dad is dating someone the age that he normally dates).
2. Some people have mid-life crisis's which for men in the age range of yours often includes dating a much younger female as a way of feeling younger and reclaiming their youth. Such dating is more often a using of the younger person to make themselves feel better rather than a real deep serious healthy love relationship.

You are too young to know what your situation really is, even much older females can be fooled or misread a relationship. I'd like you to keep that thought in mind.
As to how to solve the problem? If the man you love believes his son over you, you have two problems, a son who makes trouble for you and a partner who doesnt believe you or trust you.
Trust is very important in a relationship. Without it, the relationship fails.

someone suggested counseling. Counseling will only help if this man is very serious about you and wanting to keep you in his life, if he truly loves you and wants to save the relationship. Right now, I can't say that he believes he has any issue that needs counseling. So you will have to outline what you see the issues to be that need intervention from a counselor and be able to present it to him.

If you want, you might say that you want to be given the benefit of the doubt, that you have done nothing wrong and you suspect the son is upset with the fact his dads girlfriend is his age and he is doing what he can to either make you miserable enough to leave, or to make you look bad enough that his dad breaks up with you. You feel that because of this you all need to go for counseling. If he is not willing to or doesnt believe it isn't of a serious enough nature, then you can stay and be miserable until either he kicks you out or you finally crack and get depressed and hopefully wake up and leave.

Just the fact that dad believes son over you is a big issue. YOu are closer to both sons ages so you will never be an authority figure in their eyes, you're like a kid sister to pester, they will never see you as an adult in relationship with another adult who happens to be their dad. The only authority figure in their lives is dad. I don't know anything about how he raised them or his parenting style but he is the only key to getting the kids to accept you or at least treat you civilly. The one boy or both may lose respect for their dad and choose to not listen to him no matter what and just rebel.

For many, blood relations are more important than the person entering the relationship or marriage who will only be connected by a vow or promise.

I do not know if there have been any vows or promises. It is easy and cheap to say I love you. But putting actions behind those 3 words are much harder and not everyone will do it. Some people never learn how to put action to where their mouth is. We don't have enough detail to know what is really going on.

My own opinion is that this man is going through mid life crisis and wanted a young female to date in order to help him feel young again. But mid life crisis people are not the best prospect for a long term or life long relationship. More often than not, they're in the relationship for what it does for them, not as much of what they can do for the partner. I could be wrong but time will tell.
Without input from outside the relationship such as through counseling, there isn't much hope. If he is truly in love with you, he would consider you his best friend, you both have great chemistry and are each others sexual equals, just as in any healthy relationship, both put in equal effort and maximum effort to make the relationship work, both people of the relationship can say they are "in love" with the other, not just attracted to, strongly like, or love them as a nice human, like one loves their teacher, loves their friend, loves their relatives. Without being 'in love' which is the state at which you and this man need to be at to have a relationship that will last, be positive and healthy, your relationship with him is far from perfect and most likely will fail.

If I were you, I would be trying to find out exactly how he feels about me. Don't accept detour statement to get you thinking of something else, "Didn't I remember your birthday, don't I bring you flowers, or of course you're special. Those are not the words you want to hear, you want to hear the words from his lips that he is in love with you and wants to spend this rest of his life with you and will not let anything get in the way of the relationship.
If he cannot say those and then back them up, he obviously doesnt care about you as you care about him. If that were the case, I would leave him immediately.

hello dragonfly. i was hoping you would be able to give me more advice. this guy that i was talking about in my last question about the teaching me register and stuff. well i was talking to a couple of my friends and they say to play hard to get or just see how it goes. well i have come to the conclusion that i either play too hard to get or not hard enough i cant be in the middle, cause i always come off as one or the either. the other day i was shopping and he rang me up and he said that i had 5 dollars on my store card that next time i can buy myself lunch. then he said or i can buy him lunch. my uncle said there it was, he was basically letting me know i could ask him. well he said i should tell him hey when are you going to buy me lunch? and if he says what say well you said i can buy you lunch why cant you buy me lunch? and i find that easy to do because when i say or do something he goes out of his way to pass by me while im working to tell me something. whether its the same day or a couple days later. but the thing is i dont even know if he has a girlfriend and i dont want to come off as too strong or something and push him away. what should i do.. i want to be able to hangout with him and get to know him bette. im definitely interested in him. and i want him to be just as interested in me..

Best way to know if he has a girlfriend is to ask...and you have good reason to ask because if you are going to be buying him lunch and him buying you lunch another day, and he does have a girlfriend, you don't want to be responsible for messing things up if she found out and is the jealous type. So ask "do you have a girlfriend?" If he says No and asks why you want to know. Then give the explanation, "Well now I can't be buying you lunch and you treating me out another day if you have a girlfriend, I dont want to make another girl jealous. If he says No but doesnt ask why you wanted to know, tell him anyways. The reason I asked if you were single was because....and give the same reason. If he says yes he has a girlfriend, then you can say, "Darn too bad, I was rather looking forward to buying you lunch and you treating me out another day. I don't like to get involved if you already have a girlfriend. If you ever break up and are single again, let me know. Then wink and end of convo.
If you discover he has a girlfriend but thinks flirting and lunch together is harmless, he could be fishing to find other girls to play the field or he truly has no other interest other than friend with flirting benefits.
This kind of stuff really only comes from experience, what to sense to say at a moments notice.
Best advice I can give is to go with your gut instinct on what to say or do, if you say something you feel awkward about and want to cover up, like asking if he was interested in you and he says no, what gave you that idea...okay awkward...the best thing is to flirt and make light of it. Example: Oh, sorry i picked up on that wrong. I guess I was lumping you in with how all other guys have acted towards me when interested, going out of their way to find me and talk to me, smiling and looking at me alot, that sort of stuff. I suppose I should ask what kind of signals you do give off when you are interested in case you change your mind later. I wouldn't want to miss those signals. Then smile and wink if you like. You just blatantly said in a round about way that you hope he becomes interested and comes after you and that you are hoping he will.
If you think of a good comeback hours later or the next day, just tell him, Hey I was kinda tongue tied back there when you asked..... i couldn't think of an answer or didnt' give yu the answer I wanted to. You have that kind of effect on me, where I get tongue tied and lose my train of thought. Its not an embarrassing thing to admit, its an encouraging thing to him, to know he has this kind of affect on you which would not be possible if you weren't so attracted to him. So thats encouragement for him to make a move.

There are other ways you could have answered the lunch convo. "Hmm, interesting, you want me to buy your lunch. I was raised to expect men to be a gentleman which includes things like paying for my meal, never expecting me to. But in your case, since I like you alot, I am willing to do dutch. (this means each pays their own way on a date)
This tells him two things, that you want a guy who will act like a gentleman and treat you well, that you wont be offended like some womans libber. and that you are interested enough in him that you are still willing to have a lunch date with him even if you both pay your own way.
I dont always come up with the words on the spot. Maybe I am mulling it over and ten minutes later I've got the perfect words, so I go right back and bring up the conversation again and give my great answer. No guy has ever thought it weird that I gave them a good comeback a little later, they are actually flattered for any effort like that you make. Good luck dear.

I have attention deficit hyperactive disorder and Bipolar depression and anxiety disorder and I have some learning disorders but my cousin said if I wanted to stay if my mom decided to move and if it was okay with my mom that I could live her

Oh Good Lord, thats it? I have taken care of people found to be schizophrenic and those who are born to druggie parents who are mentally challenged. I understand you have some issues where you might lose it before someone without your challenges, lets say a cell phone bill with error in charges and people on the help line are not helpful. It's in those odd situations that crop up that its helpful to have someone who would be willing to handle issues like that which you find too challenging or upsetting for you. If you have trouble remembering to take any medication, its good to have another person willing to step in. With government cuts in budgets, caregiving is not available in large amounts, only extremely physical disabled people seem to still have caregivers or nursing care on hand 24 hrs a day. Its hard to even find caregivers for a couple hours a day, more like one day a week. So if you have a cousin, make sure she is willing to help you with any challenging issues that crop up, not just allow you to live with her. And then if any extra help is needed, I am sure that through the church or even dad you could get the odd times covered when you need someone to step in...lets say a call list of people who dont work and are available to call and come over at a time you are in crisis and your cousin is at school or at work.

if I remember right, you are 24, and so should be able to be out on your own, away from parents. I wouldn't leave the decision totally up to Mom, because some parents have trouble letting go of children who don't have any issues or disabilities let alone those who do. Children will always be a mothers children no matter how old they get. A parent needs to learn when to go from the mothering stage to the mentor stage. Its something all parents need to do. She may not in her mind be ready to give you up, afraid you can't handle it. You might have dad and cousin and any of dads side of family try to talk to her and get her to see that coddling you isn't in your best interest. I believe you folks should give it a full years try, whether mom moves or not. You should be out from under moms wing. If after a year you feel like its not working out, then, catch a greyhound bus ride out to where ever mom is and start living with her again.
My husband and I just helped an older mom get her 28 yr old son out on his own. His problem was being legally blind. And gets seizures often. She took care of everything for him even though he lived in duplex next door. She had no life of her own as he barged in at all hours of day or night when he was emotionally upset or hungry. She still shopped and cooked for him and did other stuff for him. Well, a half brother was willing to look after him, found him an apt he could afford on his own and we helped her transition with the emotional support because it was hard for her to let go. Its been about 6 months and she is finally happy and not worried at all about him.
Hope all works out well for you dear. You need to be rooming with someone near your age and if a cousin is willing, go for it.

Hi, I was regular with my cycles but from last three months I am having irregular cycle instead of 28 it has gone to 42 days and on an advice if a friend I got my ultrasound done which shows I have fibroids,when I consulted the gynaecologist she said its very minor and not needed to b treated just a change in lifestyle will help,I am scared plz advice.

I have fibroids. It never bothered me. they were tiny and never felt even though I had 3 kids. It was after having kids I decided to get on the pill. The pill made my fibroids grow. My gynecologist told me thats what caused them to grow and took me off the pill. Once they had grown, I felt them sometimes with a period like bad period cramps and other times on its own. And other than that, I only felt them a few times when I had a hard orgasm cus it contracts those muscles which cause the fibroids to contract too. So the worst is like bad period pains. So out of my personal experience, whatever you do, don't get on the pill cus taking it is apparently notorious for making the fibroids grow bigger. thats when they cause cramping. I have no idea what she meant by change in lifestyle cus I was never told any such thing. There really is no need to treat it. Although my gyn told me years ago that there was a new technology, expense... but just starting to be used in other countries, where they use lazer to burn or cut the blood supplies to the fibroid. Without those connections it can't get the blood and will shrivel up and die. thats done only if they are really big which is very unusual but dr said up to size of a tennis ball. Yours arent growing, no problem. If they do and you get really bad cramping all the time, see the dr. and ask about any new technologies for killing off the fibroid.
It's not cancer and does not become cancer...so don't worry

Hey everybody I just needed some advice so well here goes it just seems like everything is happening all at once and I don't even know where to begin with explaining it but I will try my best I lived in Georgia my whole life ever since I was 2 months old in the same house in the same town and I am now 24 years old with some disabilities that keep me from living on my own and now my mom is sick and she says that she wants to move to either Oklahoma or Texas because she needs help raising her 2 grand kids and help taking care of me and I totally understand her point of view and why she would want to move because all her family lives in Oklahoma and that's where she was raised and lived her whole childhood life except for the 24 years she was here trying to raise me and still thins she still has to take care of me even though I am 24 years old now grown up and she want's to be near one of my sisters That live in Texas and has a family of her own now which like I said I get that and my other sister the mom of the 2 grand kids my mom is raising while my mom is sick is in Massachusetts some where we don't even know what town she is in but I don't want to move to Oklahoma or Texas because everything I know is here in Georgia my church is here my family on my dad's side is here my friends are here my boyfriend is here everything I know and love but the thing is I don't want to leave my mom either and I talked to my cousin and she said since I have some disabilities that keep me from living on my own even though I am 24 years old I couldn't live on my own but if I wanted to I could live with her if I decided to stay in Georgia but I don't want to be selfish either what should I do ?

I used to be a caregiver hon. So I know a little of people struggling to be on their own with mental disabilities and physical disabilities and what the current day challenges are.
I can't tell you what might work for you or not because I do not know what these disabilities of yours involve. Have you got disabilities that doctors have said will keep you from ever being able to be on your own? Perhaps you can be on your own and require just some occasional assistance. With the current economy, many allowances were cut, and one was the disabled who live on their own being able to get a daily or couple times weekly paid caregiver to come in and help with the things that were too challenging mentally or physically to do, keeping track of dr appts, calling in prescriptions, taking to dr appts or grocery shopping, helping with meal prep or planning, etc.... So write me back on my column hon and let me know to what extent your disabilities are and we'll see if I can help come up with some possible food for thought on both sides whether you stay or go, that will hopefully help you know which place is going to be best for you. Just to to dragonfly magic and write a message to me from there.

So I'd like the wash up my old teddy bear. It has sentimental value, as to be expected, and it really needs a washing as the far has become less fluffy and more..hard? Not really hard, but I'm not really sure how to explain it. Anyway, I was going to follow the directions at this link http://www.wikihow.com/Machine-Wash-Your-Teddy-Bear but when I finished reading and got down to the tips it says not to use heat when drying faux fur or the fur will melt. The directions above clearly state to dry in a dryer, which gets pretty hot. So I'm confused, can anyone explain this?

I'm assume faux fur is on all teddy bears or is that wrong? If so, how can I find out if mine has it or not?

With dryers, you can choose different drying settings. It need not be heat but an air fluffing type of setting which you'd use for drying any pillows washed.

Okay, where do I start....

I have two freinds. I'll call them M, and D.

Now starting with M. She is, in short, a spoiled immature brat. We have been freinds for five years and she has always been mean to me. But lately, its been getting worse. Shes a great girl to be around (when shes not a brat) but her father drinks and shes ben having some problems at home. But I feel like shes controling my life! I cant do so may things I like to do becquse I feel like shes about to walk in the door and judge me for it. She never listens to me and does stuff i ask her not to just to make me mad. She always tells me im dumb and that im usless if I dont do something perfectly. I know im not the perfect friend, but I cant take the stress anymore.

Then there's D. She has been my freind since we where in diapers. She has never treated me that badly and I feel like I can be more relaxed around her than I can with M. But I almost feel like shes minipulating me to get at M. And I have problems trusting eathermone of them. And they're always getting into fights and draging me into it.

I dont know whats a lie and whats the truth or anything.

I love them both dearly, but I just dont know what to do anymore.

Friends don't treat friends badly. they dont deserve the name friend. Understandably, her home life is having a negative affect on her developement.
Likely the way she treats you is her mimicking exactly how she is treated or perhaps she is treated much worse. Like a pressure cooker, she can't stand the pressure of having to live with the pressures of a terrible home life and so the pressure has to escape, but being young, she doesn't know that in relieving herself of pressure by dumping on you for five years, that though she's made herself feel slightly better temporarily it never really helps her if she is honest about it and she may or may not realize what she is doing to you. Do the school counselors know of her situation? Whatever is happening in her home is affecting not just her life but your life through her. You could cut off all communication with her but that does not help her.

You are much too young to have to carry the burdon of trying to get her any help. If I were you, I'd tell my mom whats been going on for all these years, how you've put up with it. tell her that lately its gotten worse.
Your friend may need another adult looking out for her welfare. You want to be her friend but it is making you depressed and Mom's first concern will be for you and your safety. I dont know what your mom can do but maybe she can make your friend feel safe enough and comfortable enough to open up and talk to her. It could be just verbal abuse or neglect. But if there are adults who drink enough to not know what they are doing anymore, there could be a progression to worse treatment which may be the reason for her acting up worse herself. She doesnt dare say anything bad about the parents, most children from a troubled home or those abused love their parents They dont dare tell anyone whats going on, afraid the parents will be in trouble. Maybe they fight alot and need anger management counseling, making alcoholics anonymous, maybe mom has PMS or dad some menal depression and one or the other needs to be prescribed a medication to be their happy self. No one will ever know whats going on if they don't ask. So tell your mom and see what she thinks is best.
As for D, her problems could be more of her concern for your welfare, not liking to see how M treats you or what its doing to you. She is reacting the only way she knows how, to try to cause you to not like M anymore, find reasons to make you push her away from you. Unless of course it hormones the thing that happens to girls when they reach puberty. Their emotions go wild. They are more easily upset, more prone to cry and get angry at the littlest things. A female will lash out at the closest female to her, a best friend, a sister or a mother when she is irritable due to this reason. Since D isnt exhibiting this more of lately but not life long, i'd say its hormonal or a concern for your welfare. Don't react or just wonder what something means when it happens, ask questions. SO ask D why it seems she is doing these things you are concerned about.

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet. I have a job, where I've worked for over a year. Next door to my job is a shop, and the owner of the shop offered me a job. I accepted the offer, and therefore had 2 jobs. I only had the job at the shop for 2 days. This is why.

My first day, the manager of the shop ("Ashley") told me that she has been having sex with my manager at my other job ("Jake") in the back office of her shop. Jake just had his 3rd child with his wife. During the shift, she left me in the store alone for 20 minutes so that she could mess around with Jake in his car. During this time, a customer wanted to check out, and I did not know what I was doing. I had to call Ashley to come back in, and after she rang up the customer, she went back out to Jake's car. When she returned, it was time to lock the door and close the shop. She told me we would not do the regular closing duties because it was already 9:00pm.

My second day, I worked alone from 1-9pm. When I went in at 1, another associate told me that I get a 15 minute break, and to just lock the door to the shop and put a sign on the door saying "Be back in 15". So that's what I did.

I got a call from Ashley the next morning asking why I took a break, and told me that we don't take breaks and lock the shop during business hours. I told her that another associate told me otherwise. I was told that I was going to get written up. The day after that, I was called and told that I was terminated and that it was "out of her control, corporate just told her to."

I contacted corporate and explained that I was not trained properly due to Ashley leaving to mess around with a guy, and that she has had sex with him in the back office twice. I also told them that I was told to take a break by another associate. I explained that I should not be written up or fired for this.

My question is: am I wrong for doing this? The shop owner and I have gotten drinks before, and I don't want her to lose her job, but at the same time, I'm not going to let her or the business fire me for nothing.

If what you say is what truly happened, you had every right to keep your job record clean. She had responsibility as a manager of the shop to be engaged in shop and business related things at all times. What one does on their break time or lunch time even though the time is their free time is still in between company hours. Places I've worked did not allow you to get any alcohol while on break or at lunch and you could not smoke pot while on breaks, cigarette, but no pot. I am sure that there's no rule saying you can't have quickies while on break, but I would think that applies to underlings, not the manager who is ultimately responsible for everything in that shop, so even though on break should be available on site in the shop for employee to ask for help. She forced you to leave a customer unattended to leave the premises to go get her. If I were the owner, I would be scared that any unscrupulous customer might see the opportunity, grab some merchandise and leave without paying before you and her returned. One does not leave a shop totally unattended. She as manager doesnt for a reason have all the same privaleges as an employee. She also did not train you long enough. She deserves anything she's getting. Just getting it sooner rather than later. You were not wrong. You did not say anything out of wanting to hurt her or spoil things for her, just clear your name. If I were you, I would not ever associate with her ever again, not even as supposedly friends away from work. Friends do not use people like that or treat friends like that, you dont even treat employees like that. She should not be in a manager position ever again. Maybe employee. Its up to corporate to decide what to do with her, whether give her a chance to work with them again or not.

well um to me i always thought they kind of resembled each other becuase of the pose they made but do you think they look alike

Yes kind of. They are the same age, same shape of face or head, some same mannerisms will drive the similarity home. But if lets say one of them was your dad and you were very familiar with how his eyes and nose and mouth looked like, you'd probably look at the other and think, gosh they don't look alike at all.

think of parents who have identical twins. To everyone else in the world who doesn't see them often, they look identical, but to parents, they look totally different cus there are enough differences in their look. I lived across the street from classmates who were twin sisters. Even I could begin to tell them apart after a few months from moving into the neighborhood. they looked totally alike at first to me.

why did someone i thought was a friend from florida, who i have literally been looking out for fianically. Always giving her support mentally, makes this not make sense. No romanic feelings are there. She hates men & sex. (so she says) but is overly friendly to anyone & everyone as if trying to show interest. Came out of bad relationship, got her bank account stolen by her sibling...alianated & was constantly getting things stolen, by her ibling, (an adult) w/children & married living up stairs. All of a sudden when i cannot attend to her due to a funeral, she says that. Makes no sense. Any clue?

You really know next to nothing of her history and what makes her the person you see today. I know even less than you. I have no way of knowing why she would make such a comment to someone who has been lending a hand. Some adults go through life with grudges against whatever people or situations in life they feel hurt them whether true or not. All humans will come up against their own set of difficulties, hardships, things done to them or bad choices they made. And all humans have two ways to respond to those hard things, either to act the victim for life or to become a survivor and an overcomer, to come out stronger, having learned something, and experience a chance to forgive others or forgive oneself. By her age, she will have had plenty of opportunities to make the right choices. When we don't, the set of difficulties we face become harder and more often. It looks like a poor person who's had a bum rap in life. They don't deserve this? Right, no one does deserve this...but the only one who can change that is the person with the bum rap, the one who has chosen the bad attitude. After 30 yrs of verbal abuse, I am thankful that I had the ex husband I did. Without the abuse from him, i would not have learned how to love myself enough to remove myself from the situation. I had two choices, to hate him or men forever, not ever choose to trust anyone again, to not forgive, or to see it as a growth situation for me which would not have been possible if there was no one to play the role of bad guy in my life situation.
So something is going on internally for her where she is stuck and probably has been for quite some time, unable to move forward in life.

There's a possibility she has become dependant on others for her livelihood, when her circumstances got worse and worse, nothing has taken her to the point of really questioning why..is it something I am doing wrong or need to learn? And then studying and asking and being open to hearing the raw truth and not become defensive or deny it. All souls have something to learn in their lifetime, usually one big thing and then the smaller issues. But I can tell you that the one big thing is like a giant boulder blocking a narrow track. there is no way to continue on until that big lesson is learned and then one can move on. I know this from experience.

I would say that not wanting you to attend a funeral, have a life and schedule of your own shows the level of dependancy she has thrown on you. You have a kind heart and wish to help your fellow man. that is good. But when this help is given at the wrong time, it enables the person to remain stuck and become an emotional and financial strain on their supporter and take them down the drain with them. If she was working on her attitude towards life, ready to forgive, ready to face the hurts of her past and analyse them to see how she could have responded better, then she's on a good path and ready for help and will be growing stronger as each day goes by. While her financial situation may take time to repair, there should be a visible change her her attitude, should be more positive joyful person willing to take chances again, able to talk about her past in detail without it causing her any pain. A person like that certainly deserves any help we can lend her. She just doesnt sound to me like she's there yet. She will only becone more demanding of you and drain you if she doesnt have an immediate healing deep inside and a want to move forward in life.

Okay so I'm 18.
I have a boyfriend and we've been together for 1 month but my parents don't know.
His know about me and I've even met them. I have had a boyfriend before that my parents knew about.
But we don't have that 'friend' relationship-like they see me as their baby still even though I don't live with them!
So how shall I tell them about this guy?

All parents will always see their kids as their babies no matter how old they get. What matters is if the parents learn how to make the transition from parenting you to letting you know they are available as sounding boards for you to get opinions or advice as needed, as you as doing now with random strangers. LOL. Really, I catch myself often wanting to say something but realizing my kids didn't ask for my opinion, I can not prevent them from making any mistakes. However because I am not intrusive and very open minded, they will approach me with lots of things even though they are 21, 24, and 27 and make lots of decisions on their own.
If you think that just saying hey I'd like to bring a boyfriend over to meet you would bring up to much interrogation of him and you, then you may want to go over on your own and be the adult and bring up the subject I just mentioned. About you being adult and that you feel like they haven't transitioned out of parenting mode with you yet. If youre the only child or first child, its even harder cus they've not done this yet before. Its a big change for parents and not as easy to do as you might think. You'll understand some day when your turn comes.
So have a nice chat with them. Point out your views and let them know of examples where you would like their help or input, usually that comes in moments of crisis, something unexpected that happens, needing comforting during emotional distress, not I TOLD YOU SO repeated again and again. You'll know what to say to them. Be loving and thank them for being such good parents...even though you may have wanted better...it could have been worse...so be thankful. Make them feel good about themselves. And tell them what you do and don't need from them. Let them know you have a boyfriend you'd like to have them meet. If they have interrogated friends before you could bring it up nicely. In the past when i'VE brought friends over, you came on ratherly strongly and scared them. they felt like they got the 3rd degree from you and I'd kinda have to agree. I know you care that much about me and it makes me feel loved but at the same time restricted. How will I learn if I am not given opportunity to learn to be a good judge of character on my own. So I will bring him over. Pick a day thats good for you. Be nice. And we can do that several times so you get a good feel for him.

And then hon, if you are willing enough to do the last part, tell them that since they have more life experience than you, they may see some warning signs of possible problems that you can't, so in private, someday you promise to ask their opinion of him. You will take their input and keep it in mind as you continue on. What they think they see may be based on their own past experiences or lack of. Or they may have actually seen something to watch out for. then as time goes on, you look for inconsistancies in your boyfriend, for signs that they may actually be correct. Hopefully nothing they warn about comes up. So stick with your rights to be treated as an adult. If your parents get carried away with you and end up more like 'telling you what to do" a good way to make a point is to ask them, is they would talk to a co worker or friend that way, telling them what to do instead of making suggestions only when asked to. The worst that can happen is that they get upset at the moment, so you leave them to think about it. Give em a couple days and then call them and see if they realize you were right. Its hard when a parent has an adult child point out the first time they were in the wrong about something. Hopefully they are still on good terms with you. If they are very upset still. It might not be a good idea to take boyfriend to their house. If they are to meet him ever, it may have to be at your place where its your place so your rules go. If they cannot be nice, meeting him there the first time, you can ask them to leave. I hardly think its going to be an issue at all. You may be more worried about finding your place as an adult with them than their reaction to a boyfriend.
Good luck dear.

a gal i became acquainted with, (just friends) we have established that...has a large boxer pit lab mix. she uses him for protection & companionship & will not listen most of the time. The dog is a big baby, but will attack other dogs...even people, (as it bit her grandson) who still bears scar of teeth marks. Now both get along well, but the parents cannot get near it. ...or anyone else, so far. i walk him, give him treats & play. (he plays rough)Cannot seem to get thru to her that this dog, (she loves) is gonna hurt someone sooner or later & is holding her up fron getting a place, which i would gladly pay for as her incomb will be monthly very soon. So she lives in a car with all her property she did not sell yet. no one around here allows dogs over 30lbs. She is in bad health & getting worse. i feel for her, but can see suisidal temptations. i have tried everything. Such a sweet, smart gal who is really mixed up. Help.

Sounds like she is unable to take care of herself let alone a dog. It isn't fair to a large dog to be forced to live in a car with her, and if she's not feeling well, is the dog getting exercise, is it getting proper dog training, it is getting proper food and water? I bet that animal activists who look for animals living in terrible conditions would like to know about this, and offer to take the dog and find it a home. Heck they even have TV shows about this. After so many visits, if things havent improved for animals, owners are fined and animals taken away if they refuse to give it up. She need to focus on just getting her life together and dealling with her issues. She has no business having a pet or even trying to have a dating relationship with someone until she is healthy mental and physically.
YOu are the one who walks the dog, she as owner doesnt. its her job unless she pays someone to walk the dog, train it, look after it, she really is not able to care for it. Everyone stepping in to help while afraid for their welfare as they dont 100% trust the dog, is only enabling her to stay stuck and continuing keeping a pet when she shouldn't. Maybe some day in the future but not now. If it makes you feel any better, start asking around your city if theres any agencys that look into reported cases about animals welfare, you know like CPS does for children, and then let them know of the situation to check it out. If to their standards everything looks fine, then at least it was checked out. If its not a good situation for the dog, then they'll take it and get it proper care. Then all thats left is her getting some mental health care.

My sister recently reentered an abusive relationship, that my parents paid money to get her out of. Previously before the few days that she remained broken up with him for, they dated for four years. She moved back in with him over a year ago, after getting a job at a local company.

On Wednesday morning, after she called the house at 4:00 in the morning, my family and I discovered things that we dislike about the boyfriend. For example, he suffers from severe alcoholism, so severe that his doctor prescribed him medication to get him to stop drinking. Additionally, we also discovered that she lied about his employment situation. Formerly, my sister told us that he found a job where they promoted him to general restaurant manager. Problem is, while he worked there for a short time, he was unemployed for the past two months.

My grandmother told her to drive down here and move back in. So, she took her cat and her dog and prepared to move back down here. Unfortunately he manipulated her, into going to see him, and re-exposed her to the rather dangerous situation. His ploy was that he was going to call the cops on her for stealing the car and that his father was dying. Everything turned out to be a lie, while his father was in critical care, he seems fine after pulling out of his quadruple bypass surgery, and the title was in her name. The title to the car that she apparently "stole" was in her name, so there was o way he could press charges against her. We tried to beg her not to go, but she went back anyway.

That night one of my sister's friends came over to pick up food and talk about the situation, since she was really upset that she went back there. My sister informed her friend that she wanted to go back home, and that her boyfriend was fighting with her and acting very nasty about her decision to call the cops on him. She also told her friend that she wanted to come back home.

That Thursday my mother worked to get her back home with us, where we knew she was safe. Her boyfriend drove her down to the ferry on a flat tire so that she could go to Bridgeport. She boarded the boat, and my father paid for her to take a cab home.

When she got home, she smiled and I swore that she was relieved to be out of the situation. Her friend came over and they stayed outside for a very long time. I swear that she told him it was over, because he kept on calling her and finally texted her that he needed to find something.

Then on Friday, she proceeded to have an attitude with everyone in the house. I attend college and attend class that morning, so I was not home for most of the day. My parents were pissed that she wanted to go back to CT with him. But again, it was another one of his elaborate stories to trap her into going back home. According to the legend, his best friend called the cops on him because he was suicidal and he needed her.

I feel like it's my fault that she went back to the situation, because instead of talking with her I fought with her. I tried apologizing after the fact, and told her that I was sorry and begged her not to go.

I have no idea what to do, I talked to my boyfriend and he told me that I need to call her. I'm not even sure if she will pick up the phone and tell the truth if something is happening. What are my legal standings, can I press charges against the bastard? I'm sorry, but he's manipulating her and there has to be some type of fraud that he should be charged with.

I'm the little sister, we're both adults though, I'm 22 and she's 28. The pathetic little boy, who she claims to be the love of her life, is 34 years old. My parents are so irritated with her, and refuse to let her come back home until she gives him up for good. What do I do? I really want him in jail, because I feel like this might give her thinking time without and make her realize that he is no good for her.

Unless a person has been declared by drs. insane or mentally incapable of taking care of themselves, then if they willingly go back to abusive situations there is nothing anyone can to do help. Just wait and hope that one day, she'll wake up and have had enough. I lived with verbal, and emotional abuse for 30 yrs before I left. We were involved in church. My relational with God is what kept me sane, otherwise, a person can end up giving up much of theirselves away to the other person, giving up their rights, needs, and wants, giving up control.
People in a situation like that have something they need to learn, and thats why they are in that situation, if it wasn't him, then successfully getting her away from him, years down the road, she'd like meet someone else similar and start the process again with another guy. It continues until the lesson is learned or they run out of lifetime. In my case, the lesson to learn was to love myself enough to no longer subject myself to abusive behavior. But it can be scary to make that break for many different reasons, my main one was financial and thats a big one for many. Its not your sisters case but something is keeping her there. Once the mental abuse starts and they manipulate things so that you get to a point where you don't know if you are crazy and imagining things or what, the mental turmoil of abuse can put you somewhere where you can't think logically or think straight anymore and it takes little effort on the part of the abuser to just make a little threat which is obviously flimsy and so easy to see through for everyone except the abused. I was there. I had to find inner strength to make the break. Even my adult daughters were opposed to me making the break away at first from their dad. But with me gone, it took little time for him to need someone else to dump on and he did his best with each daughter. None of them want to see him anymore. The best you can do is pray for her guardian angels to get through to her, for her to start being able to hear her inner higher voice, and to choose to want to change her life and get away from him for good. So You always have to remain open to take her in once she comes looking for help. And hopefully one of those times she will be strong enough to stay away.

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