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How can I be comfortable in my own skin?
My boyfriend and I are in high school and we've been dating for three weeks. I usually walk him to his classes and ask him questions but apparently, I'm doing something wrong. He told me Friday night, he wants me to talk to him more, instead of asking questions all the time but honestly that's all I know to say to him! I think I'm too worried about what to say to him than just talking to him...I really don't want our relationship to end soon or ever for that matter. He has a really sweet heart in him and I don't want to disappoint him. Any ideas? Help is much appreciated..thanks in advance!(:
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Questions are good, especially to get conversations started.Does he ever ask you questions to get you started sharing stories? I hope he says things in return. If he prefers to have you talk all the time and himself just listening and not saying things in return, then there's a problem. That's not normal, not even for him when with guy friends. Some guys are mostly the quiet silent type, maybe its just he prefers to listen more instead of talk.
By now you should know if he's the talkative type or the quiet and silent type. If you have to drag words out of him and thats okay with you, then carry the conversation. But it won't work long term. All healthy relationships require good communication which requires talking. He needs to be fair and be willing to talk too.
You are not doing anything wrong. If he doesn't like the way you are, don't change who you are to fit the boyfriend, change the boyfriend to fit you. I dont mean changing him, but changing to a new boyfriend, someone who likes you exactly as you are and finds no fault with you. Be careful to keep in mind that you hold on to your identity in wanting to please and not disappoint a guy. Too many of us women have lost ourselves in trying to please a guy who would never really be happy. I was one of them, but only because I chose a guy who was not a good match for me, and we had no chemistry or things in common.
For ideas for topics:
Tell stories of your day, or something funny your pets did, or some of your memories of growing up. Some of your best holiday memories, what you were afraid of as a kid, favorite family vacations.
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I agree with Rahzie. Asking questions is the obvious thing to do. It's how you learn more about each other. Other than that, maybe just talk to him about your day. Talk to him about the class you were in and things that happened..if anything interesting happened. Maybe something that recently happened with your family.
It's pretty much the same way you'd talk to a friend.
Asking questions is talking so idk. It'd be good for him to ask questions too because it'll give you guys more to talk about.
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Maybe he needs to think of some questions to ask?
That's really the obvious solution. You ask questions because you are interested, and because are listening to his answers, you think of more questions.
It's pretty unfair of him to just ask you to do more work to create conversation, without thinking of how he could do more to contribute as well.
This is what I'd do: think of one or two things or stories to talk about (stories are good) and let him know it's okay to interrupt with questions. Ask him to ask questions, and participate that way as well. Asking questions is how we really learn about and understand each other. Simply having you "talk more" isn't going to get him what he wants. He needs to listen and follow up on what he has heard.
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