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we might be moving but don't want to
Hey everybody I just needed some advice so well here goes it just seems like everything is happening all at once and I don't even know where to begin with explaining it but I will try my best I lived in Georgia my whole life ever since I was 2 months old in the same house in the same town and I am now 24 years old with some disabilities that keep me from living on my own and now my mom is sick and she says that she wants to move to either Oklahoma or Texas because she needs help raising her 2 grand kids and help taking care of me and I totally understand her point of view and why she would want to move because all her family lives in Oklahoma and that's where she was raised and lived her whole childhood life except for the 24 years she was here trying to raise me and still thins she still has to take care of me even though I am 24 years old now grown up and she want's to be near one of my sisters That live in Texas and has a family of her own now which like I said I get that and my other sister the mom of the 2 grand kids my mom is raising while my mom is sick is in Massachusetts some where we don't even know what town she is in but I don't want to move to Oklahoma or Texas because everything I know is here in Georgia my church is here my family on my dad's side is here my friends are here my boyfriend is here everything I know and love but the thing is I don't want to leave my mom either and I talked to my cousin and she said since I have some disabilities that keep me from living on my own even though I am 24 years old I couldn't live on my own but if I wanted to I could live with her if I decided to stay in Georgia but I don't want to be selfish either what should I do ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
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I wish you had elaborated more on what your disabilities are and what assistance you need on a daily basis. Without this information it is hard to make any specific recommendations as what you might do in order to stay where you are the happiest.
Unless your mother has some form of legal guardianship over, you because of some mental incapacity; you are still legally an adult able to make your own decisions. Meaning if you can find a way to stay where you like to live, receiving the assistance you need for daily living. Then staying where you are is acceptable.
Especially considering you mom is ill and caring for her grandchildren as well as caring for you. It is my belief if you were able to find a way to stay in Georgia then you would also be helping your mom by relieving her of having to care for you as well as her grandchildren.
Your cousin has offered to take you into her home and assist in caring for you. That is certainly one option open to you. Another option is some form of group home with assisted living if you qualify. The group home is closer to living on your own then living with a relative and something you may want to check into.
To live in a group home you need to contact your county or state social services department if you are not already receiving their services. If you are receiving services from this agency then talk to your caseworker and see if you qualify to live in a group home.
Here again not knowing the degree of disability you have it is hard to say what other services may be available to you. Things you could discuss with your caseworker are employment opportunities that may be available to you. Organizations such as Point of Lights, the Salvation Army, Goodwill and others specialize in employment opportunities for the disabled. The work is good honest work that may not pay much though it does supplement your disability income. This again depends on the type of disability you have and your capability to perform different tasks depending on your disability.
These are the things you should talk with your social service caseworker about. Being disabled does not mean you need to sit at home and vegetate. You can have a full and fruitful life geared to your abilities if you ask the right people for help.
It just may be you can live one your own with the right kind of social service help. This help is not charity. It is geared to help you become all you can be and be a productive, happy and fulfilled member of society. To find out just what is available to you, you need to make the first move and ask for help.
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I used to be a caregiver hon. So I know a little of people struggling to be on their own with mental disabilities and physical disabilities and what the current day challenges are.
I can't tell you what might work for you or not because I do not know what these disabilities of yours involve. Have you got disabilities that doctors have said will keep you from ever being able to be on your own? Perhaps you can be on your own and require just some occasional assistance. With the current economy, many allowances were cut, and one was the disabled who live on their own being able to get a daily or couple times weekly paid caregiver to come in and help with the things that were too challenging mentally or physically to do, keeping track of dr appts, calling in prescriptions, taking to dr appts or grocery shopping, helping with meal prep or planning, etc.... So write me back on my column hon and let me know to what extent your disabilities are and we'll see if I can help come up with some possible food for thought on both sides whether you stay or go, that will hopefully help you know which place is going to be best for you. Just to to dragonfly magic and write a message to me from there.
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