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Best friend treats me horribly
Okay, where do I start....
I have two freinds. I'll call them M, and D.
Now starting with M. She is, in short, a spoiled immature brat. We have been freinds for five years and she has always been mean to me. But lately, its been getting worse. Shes a great girl to be around (when shes not a brat) but her father drinks and shes ben having some problems at home. But I feel like shes controling my life! I cant do so may things I like to do becquse I feel like shes about to walk in the door and judge me for it. She never listens to me and does stuff i ask her not to just to make me mad. She always tells me im dumb and that im usless if I dont do something perfectly. I know im not the perfect friend, but I cant take the stress anymore.
Then there's D. She has been my freind since we where in diapers. She has never treated me that badly and I feel like I can be more relaxed around her than I can with M. But I almost feel like shes minipulating me to get at M. And I have problems trusting eathermone of them. And they're always getting into fights and draging me into it.
I dont know whats a lie and whats the truth or anything.
I love them both dearly, but I just dont know what to do anymore.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Friends don't treat friends badly. they dont deserve the name friend. Understandably, her home life is having a negative affect on her developement.
Likely the way she treats you is her mimicking exactly how she is treated or perhaps she is treated much worse. Like a pressure cooker, she can't stand the pressure of having to live with the pressures of a terrible home life and so the pressure has to escape, but being young, she doesn't know that in relieving herself of pressure by dumping on you for five years, that though she's made herself feel slightly better temporarily it never really helps her if she is honest about it and she may or may not realize what she is doing to you. Do the school counselors know of her situation? Whatever is happening in her home is affecting not just her life but your life through her. You could cut off all communication with her but that does not help her.
You are much too young to have to carry the burdon of trying to get her any help. If I were you, I'd tell my mom whats been going on for all these years, how you've put up with it. tell her that lately its gotten worse.
Your friend may need another adult looking out for her welfare. You want to be her friend but it is making you depressed and Mom's first concern will be for you and your safety. I dont know what your mom can do but maybe she can make your friend feel safe enough and comfortable enough to open up and talk to her. It could be just verbal abuse or neglect. But if there are adults who drink enough to not know what they are doing anymore, there could be a progression to worse treatment which may be the reason for her acting up worse herself. She doesnt dare say anything bad about the parents, most children from a troubled home or those abused love their parents They dont dare tell anyone whats going on, afraid the parents will be in trouble. Maybe they fight alot and need anger management counseling, making alcoholics anonymous, maybe mom has PMS or dad some menal depression and one or the other needs to be prescribed a medication to be their happy self. No one will ever know whats going on if they don't ask. So tell your mom and see what she thinks is best.
As for D, her problems could be more of her concern for your welfare, not liking to see how M treats you or what its doing to you. She is reacting the only way she knows how, to try to cause you to not like M anymore, find reasons to make you push her away from you. Unless of course it hormones the thing that happens to girls when they reach puberty. Their emotions go wild. They are more easily upset, more prone to cry and get angry at the littlest things. A female will lash out at the closest female to her, a best friend, a sister or a mother when she is irritable due to this reason. Since D isnt exhibiting this more of lately but not life long, i'd say its hormonal or a concern for your welfare. Don't react or just wonder what something means when it happens, ask questions. SO ask D why it seems she is doing these things you are concerned about.
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The first thought I had when I saw the title was to ditch the friend.
Friends don't treat each other horribly.
Even though she may have a tough home life, it does not give her an excuse to control you, judge you, and call you names. Friends just don't do that.
Friends are supposed to be supportive. They're supposed to be there for each other and lift each other up and keep them on the right track. It sounds more like she's bringing you down. You don't need people like that in your life.
You may love her, and that's ok, but sometimes you just can't remain their friend.
If D is a good friend and treats you right, then go ahead and keep her. But make sure you tell her not to drag you into their fights. It's none of your business being involved.
First, I'd suggest talking to M. Let her know that these things are bothering you and you'd like her to stop. If she doesn't, then it's time to let the friendship go.
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Hey sweetie :/
I used to have the exact same problem as you did believe it or not. So about M, she's probably treating you like this because of the things going on with her family. She does not know how to control it so she acts out aggressively towards you. I think the best thing to do right now would be to let her know that you are aware that she is going through a tough time. Tell her you want to help her, but it is also important to let her know what you are feeling, ask her to stop. If the does not, then end the friendship. Going through a tough time or not, no one deserves to be treated that way. Same thing with D. You need to put your foot down girl!! Tell them where you stand, doing just let them walk all over you. Your best bet right now would be to have a heart to heart with them, talk to them about all of this. I hope all goes well. XOXOXO
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