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girl friend calls me shorty questioning me in text.
why did someone i thought was a friend from florida, who i have literally been looking out for fianically. Always giving her support mentally, makes this not make sense. No romanic feelings are there. She hates men & sex. (so she says) but is overly friendly to anyone & everyone as if trying to show interest. Came out of bad relationship, got her bank account stolen by her sibling...alianated & was constantly getting things stolen, by her ibling, (an adult) w/children & married living up stairs. All of a sudden when i cannot attend to her due to a funeral, she says that. Makes no sense. Any clue?
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You really know next to nothing of her history and what makes her the person you see today. I know even less than you. I have no way of knowing why she would make such a comment to someone who has been lending a hand. Some adults go through life with grudges against whatever people or situations in life they feel hurt them whether true or not. All humans will come up against their own set of difficulties, hardships, things done to them or bad choices they made. And all humans have two ways to respond to those hard things, either to act the victim for life or to become a survivor and an overcomer, to come out stronger, having learned something, and experience a chance to forgive others or forgive oneself. By her age, she will have had plenty of opportunities to make the right choices. When we don't, the set of difficulties we face become harder and more often. It looks like a poor person who's had a bum rap in life. They don't deserve this? Right, no one does deserve this...but the only one who can change that is the person with the bum rap, the one who has chosen the bad attitude. After 30 yrs of verbal abuse, I am thankful that I had the ex husband I did. Without the abuse from him, i would not have learned how to love myself enough to remove myself from the situation. I had two choices, to hate him or men forever, not ever choose to trust anyone again, to not forgive, or to see it as a growth situation for me which would not have been possible if there was no one to play the role of bad guy in my life situation.
So something is going on internally for her where she is stuck and probably has been for quite some time, unable to move forward in life.
There's a possibility she has become dependant on others for her livelihood, when her circumstances got worse and worse, nothing has taken her to the point of really questioning why..is it something I am doing wrong or need to learn? And then studying and asking and being open to hearing the raw truth and not become defensive or deny it. All souls have something to learn in their lifetime, usually one big thing and then the smaller issues. But I can tell you that the one big thing is like a giant boulder blocking a narrow track. there is no way to continue on until that big lesson is learned and then one can move on. I know this from experience.
I would say that not wanting you to attend a funeral, have a life and schedule of your own shows the level of dependancy she has thrown on you. You have a kind heart and wish to help your fellow man. that is good. But when this help is given at the wrong time, it enables the person to remain stuck and become an emotional and financial strain on their supporter and take them down the drain with them. If she was working on her attitude towards life, ready to forgive, ready to face the hurts of her past and analyse them to see how she could have responded better, then she's on a good path and ready for help and will be growing stronger as each day goes by. While her financial situation may take time to repair, there should be a visible change her her attitude, should be more positive joyful person willing to take chances again, able to talk about her past in detail without it causing her any pain. A person like that certainly deserves any help we can lend her. She just doesnt sound to me like she's there yet. She will only becone more demanding of you and drain you if she doesnt have an immediate healing deep inside and a want to move forward in life.
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