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Drunkenly hooked up with the guy my friend is on and off with
I have a friend named Sarah we've been friends for about a year now. She has a guy named John she's never been boyfriend with but has liked for a year now too. John and her both hook up with other people and not just eachother. Last week she heard from someone me and John had hooked up before drunkenly we made out. I do not remember this at all. Also it happened 10 months ago when she was actually still kind of seeing her ex boyfriend. She also hooked up with a guy I dated and lied to me about it but she's somehow trying to turn ppl against me. She did the same thing to me and everyone's mad at me right now because her and John have been good lately. Did I do anything wrong?
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Honestly, if she can't be a woman about it by just talking to you about it and instead decides she is going to play the manipulate and blame game... Eff her friendship. She isn't worth it. She's a fake b-word. I'd say excuse my french but it's the truth. And she hooked up with a guy you dated and even lied about it too yet still has the nerve to be mad at you for supposedly hooking up with a guy she was just f-buddies with?! which if you don't remember and there is no proof, how does she even know. It's stupid. Forget the girl. Forget the get. Forget it all, it's not worth it and she isn't a good friend or a real one for that matter.
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It just sounds like they are in a friends with benefits relationship. He clearly isn't very serious about her anyways if he hooked up with you.
Usually you won't hook up with someone your friend is hooking up with unless that friend doesn't care.
You didn't do anything wrong, but it's not like it was right either if you know what I mean.
If you feel like you should apologize, go ahead.
Even if she did the same thing to you, it doesn't mean that it makes it ok to do the same thing. It just sounds like unnecessary drama.
But she doesn't sound like a good friend in the first place. If she's mad at you and trying to turn everyone against you, that's high school drama and you don't need friends like that. So just let it go and eventually it'll all blow over.
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It doesn't sound like any of these people you are talking about including yourself has made any deep commitment to one person. This all sounds more like relationships at the "friends with benefits" level.
The only problem I see is people getting drunk enough so their minds aren't clear thinking, and they sleep or make out with someone while under the influence.
That of course is doing something that although you had no idea what you were doing or maybe did, the original decision to drink too much and be in the company of people you'd be tempted to sleep with is making a decision that is not in your best interest while still sober. It sounds like the kind of drama of high school or college. Some people are not ready to let that go, for what ever reasons. Others are ready to grow up and start studying the life lessons that can't be learned in school, or from peers cus most people dont have a clue...and then go on with their life.
Find a purpose to live, who are you deep down inside. What are your needs and wants. What you are looking for in a guy/ do you want just social friends, friends with benefits? or a long term committed partner? Ask yourself why you feel the need to over drink? Is it to forget something in your past, is it to gain a sense of bravery to face whatever it is that is hard to do without?
As long as you are worried about what others think, and what they are doing right or wrong, you will stay stuck because the only person you have the ability to have effect on and change for the better is yourself. Don't feel like I am attacking you dear, we all get stuck in ruts in our lives in one way or another, just trying to get you to start really thinking for yourself, start self analyzing to determine what would be your next best move.
If you feel any apologys are in order, then do so.
If two people aren't dating long enough to be a couple, like dating for a week, then broke up then back together for two weeks then broke up and seeing others, then back together 2 months then broke up and dating others again, if its this kind of pattern....then there is not the maturity of character yet in either person to really make a commitment to the other person with their heart. They can say the words but words are cheap. If you made out with someone who has not been able to make such a commitment to another female, then I don't see where any person was any better position than the other as far as being more in the right. He made the same decisions that led him to make out with you...it doesnt fall solely on your shoulders.
As long as you hang out with people who have no more direction in life as you, this will keep happening in some way or other.
If you want to talk more, you can write me anytime. I'll be glad to help give you food for thought to help you with any changes you may want to make.
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