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How to say you have a boyfriend?
Okay so I'm 18.
I have a boyfriend and we've been together for 1 month but my parents don't know.
His know about me and I've even met them. I have had a boyfriend before that my parents knew about.
But we don't have that 'friend' relationship-like they see me as their baby still even though I don't live with them!
So how shall I tell them about this guy?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you want to tell them you have a boyfriend, go ahead. It's always nice for the guy to meet the parents anyways if you're serious about him.
If you don't want to, and your boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it, then you don't need to. Or if the relationship isn't serious yet, then you can wait.
As to how to tell them. Just tell them you met a guy you really liked and started talking, now you guys are dating.
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All parents will always see their kids as their babies no matter how old they get. What matters is if the parents learn how to make the transition from parenting you to letting you know they are available as sounding boards for you to get opinions or advice as needed, as you as doing now with random strangers. LOL. Really, I catch myself often wanting to say something but realizing my kids didn't ask for my opinion, I can not prevent them from making any mistakes. However because I am not intrusive and very open minded, they will approach me with lots of things even though they are 21, 24, and 27 and make lots of decisions on their own.
If you think that just saying hey I'd like to bring a boyfriend over to meet you would bring up to much interrogation of him and you, then you may want to go over on your own and be the adult and bring up the subject I just mentioned. About you being adult and that you feel like they haven't transitioned out of parenting mode with you yet. If youre the only child or first child, its even harder cus they've not done this yet before. Its a big change for parents and not as easy to do as you might think. You'll understand some day when your turn comes.
So have a nice chat with them. Point out your views and let them know of examples where you would like their help or input, usually that comes in moments of crisis, something unexpected that happens, needing comforting during emotional distress, not I TOLD YOU SO repeated again and again. You'll know what to say to them. Be loving and thank them for being such good parents...even though you may have wanted better...it could have been worse...so be thankful. Make them feel good about themselves. And tell them what you do and don't need from them. Let them know you have a boyfriend you'd like to have them meet. If they have interrogated friends before you could bring it up nicely. In the past when i'VE brought friends over, you came on ratherly strongly and scared them. they felt like they got the 3rd degree from you and I'd kinda have to agree. I know you care that much about me and it makes me feel loved but at the same time restricted. How will I learn if I am not given opportunity to learn to be a good judge of character on my own. So I will bring him over. Pick a day thats good for you. Be nice. And we can do that several times so you get a good feel for him.
And then hon, if you are willing enough to do the last part, tell them that since they have more life experience than you, they may see some warning signs of possible problems that you can't, so in private, someday you promise to ask their opinion of him. You will take their input and keep it in mind as you continue on. What they think they see may be based on their own past experiences or lack of. Or they may have actually seen something to watch out for. then as time goes on, you look for inconsistancies in your boyfriend, for signs that they may actually be correct. Hopefully nothing they warn about comes up. So stick with your rights to be treated as an adult. If your parents get carried away with you and end up more like 'telling you what to do" a good way to make a point is to ask them, is they would talk to a co worker or friend that way, telling them what to do instead of making suggestions only when asked to. The worst that can happen is that they get upset at the moment, so you leave them to think about it. Give em a couple days and then call them and see if they realize you were right. Its hard when a parent has an adult child point out the first time they were in the wrong about something. Hopefully they are still on good terms with you. If they are very upset still. It might not be a good idea to take boyfriend to their house. If they are to meet him ever, it may have to be at your place where its your place so your rules go. If they cannot be nice, meeting him there the first time, you can ask them to leave. I hardly think its going to be an issue at all. You may be more worried about finding your place as an adult with them than their reaction to a boyfriend.
Good luck dear.
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