Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140820Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
My husbands father is a US Marshal. A couple of days ago my husband said to me "So, you know that if your sisters boyfriend has any warrants, don't be surprised if he gets arrested." I was really confused. I know that my sisters boyfriend sells marijuana and random pills. He's been doing it forever. I know that he's been to jail twice, the cops have raided his house one time. Anyways, today, my father in law calls and said to my husband that he looked up all the information my husband asked him too. He (my husband) gets off the phone and was like "He's been arrested before and your sister was listed as a suspect in a robbery." I was like "uh, where did you hear that!? I'm pretty sure I would know something like that about my sister."
I'm just looking for advice on the situation. I asked him why he had his dad look all that stuff up and he always says that he hates scumbags and my sisters boyfriend is a scumbag. I seriously could care less what he does. Him selling drugs has nothing to do with me at all. I do not care! He says that he cares because of our daughter and what if something were to happen while we were there. We live six hours away from each other. I've seen my sister twice since my daughter was born.
I feel like what he did was sneaky and shady. Who does that?! I'm mad that he did it. Should I be mad or am I overreacting?
What your husband did is something I would do but not for the reasons your husband gave you. If I were to do it, it would be because I loved you and she was part of my family. If something was to happen to her it would effect you and therefore our family. I would be protecting you by trying to protect her as well.
As for being a suspect in a robbery is something she may not even be aware of. When questioned, if she was questioned, the police have no reason to inform her that she is a suspect, nor are they required too. To give her the total benefit of the doubt she may not even be aware her boyfriend committed a robbery while she was with him.
Still while your husbands given reason are somewhat suspect. Is it possible that his underlying reason is his love for you and your family both your immediate family and your extended family. If so then maybe you could be over reacting. If his reasons are more suspect than that; then no you are not over reacting. Your father in-law though has to of had a better reason for checking other than his son asking as using those resources for non related police business is a wrongful act on his part. So somewhere family love for you just maybe involved.
I am a 17 year old girl, about to graduate high school and I need to choose a university. I live in a crazy and beautiful city and I've lived here my whole life so all of my family is here. They all are expecting me to stay close to the city. The only thing is that I don't feel safe in this city. There are so many threats, partly because there are so many creepy people in this city. being a girl, I take all precautions that I can (hiding my hair and covering myself up) I have never been in a serious situation but have been very close to many. With that, I hate this city. I never feel safe in this place because my life is always in danger. I have experienced too many situations where my life could have ended, but I'm smart and that is how Ive survived this long.
With graduation closely approaching, I figure that it might be my chance to get away from this crazy beautiful city. I have found this one place with low crime rates, small, and safe, on the other end of the country. That may seem like quite a stretch, I know; but I have fallen in love with this place, and I figure that it may be my chance to start an adventure. I thought that I could go to university there for a few years.
But of course my family is all here, and I wont be able to see them as much, and of course they may not be completely supportive of me leaving right after high school, or going across the country.
I'm simply looking for another opinion, if anyone could possibly help me out.
Sincerely,
-Not a City Girl
Every city has its problems large or small. I live in a rather small county mid way between DC and Baltimore. We are a rich County with a low crime rate. Yet last night three people died violent deaths and one is in shock Trauma hospital fighting for her life. In one instance I feel the police will call it a domestic related murder suicide. The other I will have to see. At one time the District of Columbia was better known for it high crime rate than for being the Nations Capital. Still your chances of being involved in a serious crime were less than being hit by a bus and just slightly better than winning the lottery.
What I'm trying to say is the crime rate where you live is not a reason to leave unless you happen to live in the pit of the crime area. Though I do agree you should try and out of state college if for no other reason than to broaden your horizons.
College life and dorm living is a chance to live and experience a different type of life than you have with your parents. Still within the confines of a semi-structured environment. It gives you an opportunity to spread your wings and experience life with a safety net of sorts.
I feel this is important for all young people to experience this before going out in the world to earn their way. For those that are not college candidates or who just plain can't afford college I would recommend military service for it affords similar life experiences with the same although broader safety nets.
My advice: Consider a school away from home, but not for the reasons you gave.
i have a daughter who is very much rebilious and arogent with us she does not listen any thing she lives on us and we r paying for everything still she does not appriciate anything and very spoiled i dont know what to do i am geting sick everyday and its my only child.
It would help to know the age of your daughter for there could be several reasons. For instance as in the case of my youngest niece her rebellion was tied to puberty and her trouble adjusting to the hormones then floating through her. She also had trouble adjusting to the changes in her physical form.
Now these problems are more along the lines of a medical problem that; 1)she herself is not aware of. 2) She may be too embarrassed to even talk to you or with you about. What you can do about this is talk to your family doctor or schedule a visit for her with your GYN. There are medications that can help her with the hormonal changes and the adjustments she is fighting.
The other cause could be more of the what I call the only child syndrome. She has been spoiled as most only children are. Being an only she has gotten almost everything she has asked for. Now she is older and the things she wants are more expensive and less affordable. She may also, based on her age, see her self as a young adult wanting more freedom to do as she feels she should.
The last one is the biggest problem as it is the hardest for the parent of an only to conquer as the parent is reluctant to let go. I know because I am the parent of an only and it was hard for me to give my son the freedom he wanted.
What I did was tied the I want in a package. I gave my son an allowance the I felt met his needs that were over and above what i as a parent were responsible for providing. Out of this allowance he had to pay for any of the I wants I felt were above or excessive. His showing me the proper responsibility in handling his own money would result in the greater freedoms he was just about demanding.
A funny thing happened. When it was my money everything had to be designer label and all the in or cool stuff. With his money designer labels didn't mean that much. He saved the money I asked him to for his share of the drivers Ed program and car Insurance.
What I told him was that in the real world if you want something you have to earn it no one is going to give it to you. I needed to see that he was responsible enough for the freedom he was demanding, in the wrong manner. I did not ask him to go out and get a part-time job although he eventually did. I gave him the funds to show me he can be responsible and he did.
Will this work for you? I can't say. What I do know is part of teenage rebellion is the feeling that we parents are treating them as children when they feel there are more of an adult. My solution was to find an adult way to teach my son a lesson and to give him away to get where he wanted to be. It was all up to him to earn and not me saying no.
What is your input on tipping at restaraunts? I tip when I eat out but I also feel 'why tip when they are paid by the hour?' I understand that waiters/waitress make little but when one pays for their meal I do get why it is expected.
Example: Why tip a pizza boy when they are paid minimum wage hourly? Why tip a barista?
I am looking for inputs on how people feel, I feel both ways. We shouldnt have to tip... We pay for our food and we pay for good services.
Not all delivery service people are paid a minimum wage. Some work only for tips. Unless there is a charge for delivery one should assume the service-person is working for tips only.
Servers in a restaurant in many states are allowed to be paid under minimum wage as it is expected that tips will provide the difference if not exceed minimum wage. In fact their employers withhold taxes based on 15% to 18% of the total of each of their checks less any tip outs required to busboys and bartenders. If you are not tipping at least that amount they actually lose money on your check.
Now while tipping is expected it is something the server earns by providing good service. If the food is cold when you are served that is the servers fault and you can show your displeasure to the server in the size of your tip. But if the food is hot and not to your liking that is not the servers fault but the fault of the Chef and the establishment. When this has happened to me and the manger adjusts my check I still tip based on the amount of the item which should have been included in the check. It was not the servers fault the food was bad and I don't feel it is right to penalize the server over something they had no control over.
Yes you pay for good service by tipping and by the size of your tip. Where I live for good service the minimum tip is 18%. I generally tip 20%. If the service is extraordinary I will go as high as 25% including the total of the check with taxes. If the service is poor I may go as low as 5% but I always leave something.
A couple of days ago I felt a hard lump in my right breast and it is still here. I am 13 adn this is the 1st time my mom is actually a little worried about something that is wrong with me. Could this just be a cyst? Or breast cancer? I know a 13 year old girl was once daignosed with breast cancer. So I know it's possible.And I do wear a pretty tight bra every night which I know increases your chances of it. I wear the same bras I had 2 years ago. But my mom might bring me to the doctors soon. Please Help. Thanks!
Flare is right; you MUST SEE A DOCTOR ASAP. Lumps in the breast are not something to fool around with, they need to be checked out.
In your favor is the fact that you know how to examine your breasts and you found the lump early. You are young and the chances are very good that the lump is benign. Even if it is not early detection means I rate of cure and gives you many options you might not have if you do not seek treatment right away.
Three Christmases ago my wife found a small lump in her breast. At first she wasn't going to say anything to our doctor but at the last minute during a routine visit she did. Our doctor orders a mammogram and at the same time scheduled an appointment with a qualified, Board Certified,breast surgeon. Long story short their were two lumps one was hiding behind a milk duct. Both were small but cancerous. My wife opted for a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Today she is a survivor because she sought treatment early and followed the advice of her doctors.
When I was your age the girl next door found a lump in her breast. It was benign but the doctors recommended a lumpectomy anyway. Today she and I are both 65 years old and she has not had another lump in her breast.
Why have I told you these two stories. Because until you see a doctor you will not know what the lump is and the lump does not have to be cancerous. But until you know all you can do is worry. If it is cancer you have caught it early and early detection has an almost 100% cure rate. The small percentage of non cure rates in my mind is for those women that do not follow or follow through with the doctors orders.
Mom needs to bring you to the doctor now. All she needs to do is call her GYN is that you found a lump and they will clear a place in the doctors schedule for you.
My boyfriend is still on dating sites. We've been together for a year. Would this be a form of cheating?
This is a tricky question and really depends on how you define cheating.
If all he is doing is chatting them up as the British might say; is that cheating. As long as all he is doing is Internet chatting via dating sites and not actually meeting them in person anywhere is there harm and foul involved?
Should we explore this further? Is he chatting up women he may work with? Maybe they all go out for a drink after work? Now we are getting closer to a true definition of cheating?
I can't say if he is cheating or not. What I can say that by my definition of cheating he is at the very least pushing the fine line of the definition close to the breaking point.
I will be married for 41 years in July. My wife told me when we were first married I could look at the menu but I better not sample or recorded. If I did she would cut off a very important appendage.
If I extend my wife's definition: is talking on-line the same as touching? If so then your boyfriend is cheating and you need to do what you need to do. Just leave his body parts intact. The jail time isn't worth it.
We had sex one month ago an now her period is a day late is that a sign of a std
A girl being a day late with her period is not a big deal. Worrying about being pregnant causes stress and stress can throw off her cycle.
I'm just wondering how old you two are and if you are old enough to understand what the ramifications of having sex are beyond just the pleasure of it. Did you use protection such as a condom? Do you know how to use a condom properly?
Condoms do not protect you or her from all STDs so you both of you should be checked for STDs. If April does not get her period within the next seven(7) days she should buy a home pregnancy test.
Hopefully she is not pregnant and missing her period is the result of stressing over having sex with or without protection.
In the future make sure before having sex that you have a condom, know how to wear it properly. Most important though is that the sex is totally consensual and that April is not giving into you because you want her to or you will find another girl friend who will give you sex. That is totally wrong man. That is lust and not love. If you love her you will not force her to have sex with you as she bears the full burden of the act should your lust bear a child.
I am 14 and I live in Virginia! I realllyyy need a job, but don't know any stores that will hire me!! ): What are some store/shops/businesses that will hire 14 year olds? Thanks!!
I hate to tell you this but in Virginia as in most states you need to be at least 16 to have a real job. For know jobs such as baby sitting, dog walking, car washing, gardening and lawn moving are the only way you can raise money.
I really really need to loose at least 10 lbs.
yesterday i had vegetable juice (i use a juicer and juice raw beats and carrots etc.) coffee with skim milk, salad with some tuna, and dinner was half a steak, i also had some grilled chicken and broccoli
today i had vegetable juice, a large coffee with skim milk, lunch was half a cup hoop cheese (sometimes called pot cheese- similar to cottage cheese but different) with some fruit, then mid day snack was 2 40 calorie vegetarian sauces with some avocado, then dinner was tuna salad and i had some of my mother steak. not a lot but a couple of bites.
i also walk as much as i can.
if i continue like this will i loose weight?
should i eat more or less or what? please help. i really really need to loose weight as soon as possible.
I would suggest you find a health food store in your area that has a nutritionist on staff or who visits regularly. A nutritionist can advise you on a proper diet that will help you lose weight while maintaining the proper nutritional intake.
While it may be important to lose weight, the nutritionist can guide you with this as well. Losing weight and getting sick doing so won't help you as you will need to take in more calories to get well. Diet properly to loose weight. Can't find a nutritionist. See your family doctor for help.
Can anybody kill me? Seriously...
20 years old from greece
The hiring of someone to kill you is illegal in most countries. I would suggest instead you go to the nearest hospital and tell them you have a problem and are having suicidal thoughts. Let them help you instead of trying to find a way to die.
Can u tell me what can it be when after having sex with your boyfriend you start bleeding and it isn't my first time it all started after having sex on my period then after I went we had sex I started bleeding for three weeks and I had sex this time I start bleeding hardcore during sex and for two days wat can it be and we don't use condoms
I'm not a doctor so I really can't say. You shouldn't be bleeding after sex so I thing it is time you check in with your Gynecologist.
Some how I am of the feeling you are under 18 and hope you are over 14. IF you are as I believe and hope then I can understand your concern about needing to see a Gynecologist. Let me allay those concerns.
By being over 14 you fall under a law by acronym none as HIPPA. HIPPA stands for Health Information Privacy Protection act. Specifically in this act is a section concerning young adults, age 14 and over, and their reproductive health.
By this law you may seek out medical help for reproductive health issues without parental permission or involvement. You may meat with the doctor in total privacy; meaning mom can't be in the exam room with yo unless invited by you. Anything you say to the doctor, anything the doctor treats you for, including the dispensing of birth control medication, is totally confidential. No one including anyone in the doctors employ may release any medical information to anyone without your written permission. To do so carries a steep fine and Jail time.
My advice is: Something is not right and you need to see a doctor. That doctor should be a gynecologist. You can do so without parental permission or approval. Your reproductive health is at risk here; please do not wait to see a doctor.
While I do not believe it this is an STD problem, although that is always a possibility. I so believe it is just as serious and needs a doctors care and treatment.
i wanna know what does masterbate mean?
I believe this says it all, from the dictionary: masturbated, masturbating
to manipulate one's own genitals, or the genitals of (another), for sexual gratification
I am 16 years old and I have excellent grades and I'm doing every sport type I can possibly do. I am not a trouble make and not irresponsible. But I can never go out with my friends . All I do is learn and train every day of my life . Now there's this boy I have fallen in love with and I don't know how to tell my dad because he made it clear that boys are just trouble that I should avoid. What can I do ? :(
Your father suffers from daddy's little girl syndrome.
If I keep her busy and then lock her up in the closet she will stay chaste and out of trouble. This problem has less to do with you and more to do with him and his memories of what he was like as a teenage boy.
You overcome this by sitting in his lap, with your arms around his neck and head on his shoulder. You tell him how much you love him and respect him. That he has raised to know right from wrong. Now he has to help you learn how to exist in the world outside your home. This is part of growing up and becoming a young women. You promise him that any boy you meet and date will pick you up at home so he can meet him. This is important.
I remember the first time I met my future father in-law. My wife and I were all ready engaged when I met him. Still those eyes spoke volumes and were were long time from being teenagers.
You need to build a case for dad to allow you to go out an experience life away from home, so to speak, but with him close enough to protect and help you. Before you go off to college where you could find yourself lost and confused when you should be studying and getting good grades.
This is an honest argument to make to him. If you make it properly I believe dad will come up with a compromise solution you should be able to live with for a start. When dad sees you acting responsibly with these rules you can negotiate later for more freedoms.
I am 20 years old, female and my boyfriend is 46! We have been together for almost a year and a half. My parents are forcing me to break up with him! And are taking everything away from me untill I do. like my truck, phone, and are going to kick me out. I just started a minume wage job and can't afford these on my own yet! Not sure what I should do?
You are between a rock and a hard place. Legally you are an adult and can do as you please. Your parents have no more right to tell you what to do then you have to tell them what to do. Problem is you are still very much dependent on them. This dependency gives them the leverage they need to take the action they do not have the right to take but are doing so anyway. They are doing so because they believe it is the right thing to do.
What they see is you dating a man who is old enough to be your father. Now there are women out their who have had successful relationships with men more than twice their age and even raised families with these men. This does not mean the parents of the girl or her family are happy or proud of the relationship or marriage. There are major pitfalls to this type of relationship.
The fact that you have been dating this man for a year and a half does raise some other questions about him as well. Since you have not said I(and your parents) will have to assume there is a sexual side to this relationship including intercourse. While women who date younger men are called Cougars. Men who date much younger women are generally considered predators.
These are some of the facts, concerns and questions you face when discussing your relationship with your parents. Yes as I said you are of age and your parents have no legal right to object. But, if this man is not stepping in to help you at this time should you too not be questioning your relationship with him.
After all this time I would think he could make his intentions known as to where he believes this relationship is going. This is the old fashion way of saying if he has intentions of marrying you or if he is out too milk the cow until a younger women comes along that he finds more pleasing. This is very much a possibility you need to consider if he is not jumping in to help you at this time.
As I said May December romances, as they are called, do happen and they do work out. What concerns could be bothering you parents are not only the age difference but your boyfriends lack of commitment to you.
As a parent I can say we all want the best for our children. We may not always like their choices but we can learn to live with them if their choices are legal and make them happy.
I've given you a lot to think about; then you need to find out just what it is your parents are really upset about. Then you can find the answers you need to persuade or allay.
i get very depressed a lot. my doctor says i have a mood disorder. i think im bipolar but he is the doctor. he hasn't found the right dosage of medicine for me yet. i tried to kill myself with pills a few months ago. i dont want to do it again. can anyone give me tips for how to deal with depression.
I agree with NinjaNeer for the most part.
I too have suffered from Depression and can say factually that if you are being treated by your family doctor for depression your being treated by the wrong doctor. You could, emphasis on the word could. be right when you say you may be bipolar. That diagnosis though has to come from a doctor trained in making that diagnoses.
All doctors go through a psychiatric rotation during residency. That does not make them psychiatrists. If you are suffering from depression or possibly bipolar disorder you need to be seen by a BOARD CERTIFIED PSYCHIATRIST. Being Board Certified in the field of psychiatry means this doctor has done a fellowship and passed test to practice as a psychiatrist. This doctor has the proper training to diagnose and treat you, including finding the proper medications and dosages.
You most likely will also need to work with a psychologist to get at the root cause of your depression or to learn how to live with your bipolar disorder.
My advice is if you are not seeing a psychologist then you need to find one and make sure he or she is Board Certified. If you need a referral from your PCP demand one. Then follow the doctors advice. Most of all be truthful when talking with your doctor and therapist. Everything you say in therapy stays in therapy. It is all totally confidential. No one but you, the doctor and the therapist will ever no what is said in therapy.
I'm a 16 year old female who was sexually abused two weeks ago, and knows about the pain and awful trauma that follows. My abuser is in jail, and I feel good knowing he won't do it again. Last night, a 19 year old guy kept on asking me to have sex with him, and he was very inappropriate and not giving up, even after I told him I was a virgin. He later apologized when I told him I was calling the police, cuz he was really scared. I feel if I don't tell on him, he might actually hurt other girls, and I don't want to take responsibility for that. But he didn't actually do anything. Should I tell on him? I don't want to ruin his life...
There is a big difference between sexual abuse and being pressured to have sex with someone. It is a very fine line but there is a line in the sand and the question becomes did this young man cross that line.
Knowing that you were abused just two weeks prior that line in the sand for you becomes somewhat blurry. Not knowing the full story of what he said and actually did I cannot tell you whether you should report him or not. I do know some people you can talk to who can help you, both with this question and the trauma of your recent abuse.
The name of this group is RAINN; which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline that people like you who have suffered abuse can call and talk with someone trained to help you and answer questions like this one. They will also help you find people in your home town who will help you deal with your recent abuse. The call is free and what you discuss with them is totally confidential. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Please call them. Not just for the answer to this question. You need help in dealing with the abuse you suffered which is to my mind one of the reasons you are asking this question. If you do not properly deal with the abuse you suffered you will forever see abuse where it may not be.
I am not saying this man did not abuse you. He may have. What I am saying is it is very unlikely that someone would suffer rape or abuse twice in the same month. It is more likely that the trauma of being abused is still so fresh and untreated professionally that you may see icebergs where there are only ice cubes. So please for your own best interest call the people at RAINN they can be very helpful to you.
My mom is getting her paycheck soon but she didn't get her last one on time so she is out of money right now and my dad, the one with all the money, isn't gonna be home for a long while. My mom has plenty of food because she keeps it in her room and takes FOREVER to eat it. It takes her about a year to eat a bag of mnms! All we have is a slice of cake but my mom will get mad if I eat it. We also have noodles but I really don't want noodles right now and don't have time to make them. Is there a way to curve my hunger? I haven't eaten lunch yet and I'm pretty hungry. What should I do? Thanks.
Frankly I find this a little hard to believe that a mom would stash food for herself while letting her child(ren) starve. But in this day and age I have heard and seen worse.
In the vent this is true pick up the phone and call 911. Tell the call taker what is happening. Yes the police will came. But they will come to take care of you and to make sure you have food to eat or take you some place to get fed until your father comes home.
A layed down a few minutes ago and crossed my legs but felt pain on my vagina so I took a look at it and there is a small bump that is quite sensitive. I don't masturbate that often and have never had sex. It is mor eof a bubble than a bump though. It looks like it should be able to roll right off but it hurts. Please help quickly because I have school tommorow! Thanks.
First whatever it is was not probably caused by you masturbating.
If you shave down there it could be anything from razor burn to an in grown hair. Not being a doctor and not being able to visualize it I really can't say.
The fact that has gone white could mean it is an in grown hair that may becoming infected. I would suggest you inform your mom so she can help our deal with it. This is nothing sexual and nothing you should be embarrassed about. If you do shave, you haven't said so I am guessing. It is quite possible you shaved to close and this is the result.
Remember mom is built just like you are down there and if she saves she may have experienced what you are experiencing and be able to help you with this. Don't let something that should not be embarrassing make you uncomfortable when mom can help you be comfortable or know if this needs to be seen by a gynecologist.
Hi,
I injured my ankle August 2011; I hit a ladder off a dock while knee-boarding. It was the size of a tennis ball. I had x-rays and they found no broken bones. I walked and worked on it for two weeks until it had severe pain. I then saw a doctor and had a cast put on it. After that I did physical therapy.
Now, my ankle is still swollen but not nearly as big. It's been 10 months and the doctor said it should look normal in six months. Should I go back for a check-up? There may be fluid or something in it that needs to be taken out. The ankle bone also feels larger than my other ankle. Could my ankle bone be flattened? It makes no sense.
Two things come to mind. If you are seeing your regular doctor you need to see an Orthopedic Surgeon. If you are seeing an Orthopedic Surgeon you need to see a new one and get a second opinion. You probably should get an MRI as well.
I had a similar event with a knee injury. After several rounds of shots and physical therapy ordered by one Orthopedic Surgeon I found a second Ortho to give me a second opinion. He too did X rays and an MRI though he read a meniscus tear in the MRI. An hours worth of surgery and I am now mostly pain free. My pain now is arthritis stemming from the original injury. Not much can be done about that.
My advice is: If you are being treated by your family doctor; find an Orthopedist to examine you. They sometimes call themselves or are listed under Sports Medicine. If you are being treated by an Orthopedist then find another one and get a second opinion.
When looking for new doctor I try to find younger doctors ones that have been in practice 5 to 10 years. The are generally still into the medicine of their practice rather than the business of the practice and up on the latest techniques. You can find all you need to know about a doctor by doing a Google search on them. Generally it will return information on where they went to medical school, Interned, did their residency and if they are Board Certified. When looking for a surgeon Board Certification is a must.
My wife used to have very attractive breasts, about a DD-cup. After our second child, though, they just kind of... deflated. She wears a B-cup now and while there's nothing wrong with that, there is quite a bit of sag because they used to be larger.
I would like to suggest that she get implants - not to make them outlandishly large, just to restore them to something like they once were. I know that she doesn't have a problem with cosmetic medical procedures in general because she's had botox and she actually worked for a plastic surgeon once, but I'm afraid that if I suggest she get breast implants, she will think that I am repelled by her body. I am not - I just think that her breasts could use a little help at this point, and I'm not interested in changing her, just in restoring this part of her to what it once was. If she said she wanted me to take steps to try and restore my thinning hair, I would be fine with that (in fact, I would be eager to do something which would make me more attractive to her); but I don't know if she will see this in the same way.
Does anyone have a suggestion insofar as how I might approach the topic? From the women out there, how would you feel if your husband suggested that you get cosmetic surgery?
I guess you like sleeping on the couch. This is one subject you should not touch on unless she brings it up on her own. If she is not hiding her breasts from you or hiding her body from you, denying you sex in anyway don't go there. It is normal for what has happened to your wife to have happened after child birth. Also a woman's breast tend to sag with age.
As for implants go not all surgeons do the type of work I think you would be happy with. My wife had to have Breast surgery after a mastectomy. Her surgeon did an excellent job. You cannot tell, if I let you, the real from the implanted one.
The type of implant and lift our surgeon did is the most expensive of the implant surgeries. The implant on one side could only be placed under the muscle. So that meant the lift of the other breast had to be done the same way. There are no tell tale rings as with most implant surgeries. But this surgery cost my insurance company about $18,000 where most implant surgeries run near $5,000 t0 $10,000.
So the other questions you must ask yourself if you are bent on asking your wife about this is. Do you have between $5K & $20K to pay for the surgery as it is not covered for cosmetic reason? Would you be happy with the lower cost enhancement that would announce to the world in your wife's cleavage that she has been enhanced?