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abuse parents
i have a daughter who is very much rebilious and arogent with us she does not listen any thing she lives on us and we r paying for everything still she does not appriciate anything and very spoiled i dont know what to do i am geting sick everyday and its my only child.
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Would be nice to know what age she is.
But, what you can do is not pay for whatever SHE owns personally. So of course it's up to you to pay rent/mortage, YOUR cell phone bill, your utilities, etc. But anything that is not directly connected to you...don't! yes it's tough love and she better learn how to love it. She has no respect for you and better late then never so show her who is the boss. Don't buy her anything, don't do anything "special" for her. Until she gets her crap together you are officially without a child.
Yes I know easier said then done but I have one of my own!
You have to stand up and be the boss even if it is the last thing you do!
This is where YOU tell her to grow the eff up and you don't do squat for her. Since she thinks she is so grown to talk down to people then she can be grown enough to take care of herself!
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It would help to know the age of your daughter for there could be several reasons. For instance as in the case of my youngest niece her rebellion was tied to puberty and her trouble adjusting to the hormones then floating through her. She also had trouble adjusting to the changes in her physical form.
Now these problems are more along the lines of a medical problem that; 1)she herself is not aware of. 2) She may be too embarrassed to even talk to you or with you about. What you can do about this is talk to your family doctor or schedule a visit for her with your GYN. There are medications that can help her with the hormonal changes and the adjustments she is fighting.
The other cause could be more of the what I call the only child syndrome. She has been spoiled as most only children are. Being an only she has gotten almost everything she has asked for. Now she is older and the things she wants are more expensive and less affordable. She may also, based on her age, see her self as a young adult wanting more freedom to do as she feels she should.
The last one is the biggest problem as it is the hardest for the parent of an only to conquer as the parent is reluctant to let go. I know because I am the parent of an only and it was hard for me to give my son the freedom he wanted.
What I did was tied the I want in a package. I gave my son an allowance the I felt met his needs that were over and above what i as a parent were responsible for providing. Out of this allowance he had to pay for any of the I wants I felt were above or excessive. His showing me the proper responsibility in handling his own money would result in the greater freedoms he was just about demanding.
A funny thing happened. When it was my money everything had to be designer label and all the in or cool stuff. With his money designer labels didn't mean that much. He saved the money I asked him to for his share of the drivers Ed program and car Insurance.
What I told him was that in the real world if you want something you have to earn it no one is going to give it to you. I needed to see that he was responsible enough for the freedom he was demanding, in the wrong manner. I did not ask him to go out and get a part-time job although he eventually did. I gave him the funds to show me he can be responsible and he did.
Will this work for you? I can't say. What I do know is part of teenage rebellion is the feeling that we parents are treating them as children when they feel there are more of an adult. My solution was to find an adult way to teach my son a lesson and to give him away to get where he wanted to be. It was all up to him to earn and not me saying no.
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