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Do I need to tell on him after he tried to pressure me into sex?
I'm a 16 year old female who was sexually abused two weeks ago, and knows about the pain and awful trauma that follows. My abuser is in jail, and I feel good knowing he won't do it again. Last night, a 19 year old guy kept on asking me to have sex with him, and he was very inappropriate and not giving up, even after I told him I was a virgin. He later apologized when I told him I was calling the police, cuz he was really scared. I feel if I don't tell on him, he might actually hurt other girls, and I don't want to take responsibility for that. But he didn't actually do anything. Should I tell on him? I don't want to ruin his life...
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Well there is nothing the police can do because he didn't physically touch you. You cant ruin his life that way. Just let him know that you want nothing to do with him and for him not to speak to you again. I want to be a lawyer so i know that even if you did tell someone nothing serious could happen.
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There is a big difference between sexual abuse and being pressured to have sex with someone. It is a very fine line but there is a line in the sand and the question becomes did this young man cross that line.
Knowing that you were abused just two weeks prior that line in the sand for you becomes somewhat blurry. Not knowing the full story of what he said and actually did I cannot tell you whether you should report him or not. I do know some people you can talk to who can help you, both with this question and the trauma of your recent abuse.
The name of this group is RAINN; which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline that people like you who have suffered abuse can call and talk with someone trained to help you and answer questions like this one. They will also help you find people in your home town who will help you deal with your recent abuse. The call is free and what you discuss with them is totally confidential. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Please call them. Not just for the answer to this question. You need help in dealing with the abuse you suffered which is to my mind one of the reasons you are asking this question. If you do not properly deal with the abuse you suffered you will forever see abuse where it may not be.
I am not saying this man did not abuse you. He may have. What I am saying is it is very unlikely that someone would suffer rape or abuse twice in the same month. It is more likely that the trauma of being abused is still so fresh and untreated professionally that you may see icebergs where there are only ice cubes. So please for your own best interest call the people at RAINN they can be very helpful to you.
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This doesn't happen to most women all the time like this. Twice in a month? Come on. You're teasing these men getting them excited over you, and then telling them no. Try covering up your breasts next time you're at a party lol.
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You don't want to ruin his life? Back up here. That's what he's looking to do to yours or some other girl. Likely he already has and if he hasn't telling an adult will stop him. He needs help and must be shown this is no way to be behave.
He could be violent otherwise or take this one step farther or too far if adults don't address this. Some secrets are wrong to keep. This is one of them.
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Hey there,
Let me start by saying how sorry I am that you were abused. I commend you on having the strength to report him that takes a lot of courage.
It also takes a lot of will power to have said no to this 19 year old. Again Kudos for that many would have caved in.
Hmm this is a tough situation. Given he didn't physically do anything but it can still be seen as sexual harassment. In my opinion if you did report him he probably wouldn't go to jail given the lack of evidence. It would literally be a case of he said she said. You know your word against his. However it might indeed give him the shock into not doing it again.
Its a case of trying to decide okay is he actually a sexual predator or just a horny teenager desperate for sex?
What he did was wrong no doubt about it no one should be pressured or forced to have sex. But there are some selfish guys out there who will push their luck.
Its up to whether to report him or not. If I were you I would just so the police could keep an eye on him to make sure he isn't a threat to other girls. But don't expect too much to happen given the lack of evidence.
Good luck and I hope this helps
Much <3
Jess 18/f
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