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my parents are forcing me to break up with my boyfriend!
I am 20 years old, female and my boyfriend is 46! We have been together for almost a year and a half. My parents are forcing me to break up with him! And are taking everything away from me untill I do. like my truck, phone, and are going to kick me out. I just started a minume wage job and can't afford these on my own yet! Not sure what I should do?
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you're 20...you're a grown woman, you should be able to make your own choices, your parents cant tell you who to date or tell you who to fall in love with, dont listen to them, if they dont like it, tough...they should only care if you're happy or not.
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Funny i see this. I have the same prob;em except I'm a lesbian and my parents dont agree. i had everything taken away from me. In your case i would sit down with them and say that you really like this guy. IM sure my parents would rather me be in your shoes. lol.
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You are between a rock and a hard place. Legally you are an adult and can do as you please. Your parents have no more right to tell you what to do then you have to tell them what to do. Problem is you are still very much dependent on them. This dependency gives them the leverage they need to take the action they do not have the right to take but are doing so anyway. They are doing so because they believe it is the right thing to do.
What they see is you dating a man who is old enough to be your father. Now there are women out their who have had successful relationships with men more than twice their age and even raised families with these men. This does not mean the parents of the girl or her family are happy or proud of the relationship or marriage. There are major pitfalls to this type of relationship.
The fact that you have been dating this man for a year and a half does raise some other questions about him as well. Since you have not said I(and your parents) will have to assume there is a sexual side to this relationship including intercourse. While women who date younger men are called Cougars. Men who date much younger women are generally considered predators.
These are some of the facts, concerns and questions you face when discussing your relationship with your parents. Yes as I said you are of age and your parents have no legal right to object. But, if this man is not stepping in to help you at this time should you too not be questioning your relationship with him.
After all this time I would think he could make his intentions known as to where he believes this relationship is going. This is the old fashion way of saying if he has intentions of marrying you or if he is out too milk the cow until a younger women comes along that he finds more pleasing. This is very much a possibility you need to consider if he is not jumping in to help you at this time.
As I said May December romances, as they are called, do happen and they do work out. What concerns could be bothering you parents are not only the age difference but your boyfriends lack of commitment to you.
As a parent I can say we all want the best for our children. We may not always like their choices but we can learn to live with them if their choices are legal and make them happy.
I've given you a lot to think about; then you need to find out just what it is your parents are really upset about. Then you can find the answers you need to persuade or allay.
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Ok...the parents are playing hardball. I imagine they are rather disturbed by the age difference. There is no easy answer to this.
He is old enough to be your father springs to mind. However, one could say Catherine Zeta Jones likes really old men too. Some people are wired that way.
You need to sit down with your parents and get them to tell you why they are against this relationship. No getting defensive.
It might not be the age but the person they don't like. If you still don't agree with their reason then you need to make a choice...your family or not. It's not a good choice but you do have one.
A family at odds is never good...communication and honesty are key. What is more important to you...your family or your man?
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First sit down with your parents and think about this decision. How far do you thin this relationship will go? Are you truly in love? Do you think he means all the love for you? This guy is close to 50 and you're only 20!! That means he's more than doubled your age which most of the time won't work out. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really see being with him your whole life? I justthink it could be hard. But talk about it with your parents and ask tut self these questions. Think ahead! Xoxo good luck
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Break up with the guy.
I mean, really? 46? Are you so naive that you have no idea why a 46 year old dates a 20 year old? It's not even about sex, after a year and a half. It's because he's a gigantic immature manchild who's incapable of relating to adults or maintaining real adult relationships with women old enough to have adult expectations.
Your parents have every right to withdraw support. To say "you want to do this, do it yourself". Better that they kick you out and let you realize how stupid this all is and come back on your own terms than to try to manipulate you by partially supporting you and working to undermine things. You may never be able to appreciate the difference between ongoing manipulation and an ultimatum, but trust me the latter is by far the preferable option.
Please don't do something stupid like moving in with your 46 year old boyfriend.
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