It's not a matter of "can a man physically fit" at this stage in your life. It's a matter of "can you deal with it mentally".

Why do you want to have sex? Because you're curious? We're all curious at your age. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't, but I held off until I was 18 for some pretty good reasons. Is it because you want to feel like an adult? Adults don't just do whatever they want: they have to weigh the consequences against the actions and make responsible decisions.

It's not damage to your body that people are warning you about. It's damage to your mind. Especially at this age, it's easy to get into a situation where you're being used. Yes, it's exciting when a guy pays attention to you, but having sex is not a way to get him to like you more. Nobody at age 9 is looking for a committed relationship and planning on marrying their partner. That means you'll be tossed like a used tissue once they've got what they want. It might not seem like a big deal now, but it is, even for a non-virgin. It causes lasting damage that can mess with relationships for the rest of your life.

Beyond that, are you ready to deal with any possible negative consequences? STIs? What if you get herpes? AIDS? That stuff doesn't go away. One bad decision now, and you could be feeling it for the rest of your life. What if you get pregnant? Even if you're not getting your period now, you're still at risk. Are you prepared to discuss your sexual health with a gynecologist? To discuss protection with the guy? It's one nasty bag to open, and you can't close it again.

Another thing to consider: you are below the age of consent, which means that any guy who has sex with you can be arrested for statutory rape, even if he's only 12 or 13. That means that if any adults find out, he could go to jail and be branded a sexual offender for the rest of his life.

You have your whole life to grow up. Don't rush into things. Enjoy your childhood. Sex is overrated unless it's with someone who you love and who loves you, and who you want to remember for the rest of your life.

Are your abs sore? If they are, then you're probably going to retain water. When I'm working out on a regular basis, I hold on to water like crazy. It's something to do with damage to your muscles and your body trying to repair them. Try measuring again in a couple of weeks, and make sure you have rest days in between targeting muscle groups!

Your mother will be disappointed, but relieved that you're gong to be smart about it instead of sneaking around and hiding it from her. That was my parents' reaction when I asked to go on birth control.

Don't have sex because of hormones and being frisky. Friskiness is something that can be taken care of much better by your hand. Seriously. You're going to learn that nobody can please you more consistently than yourself.

Have sex because you're in love with each other. If you aren't, then sex is surprisingly disappointing. It doesn't feel all that fantastic the first few times until you get the hang of it. He might only last a few seconds, or he might not finish. He'll be surprised that you didn't orgasm like a porn star, and he'll keep going, expecting you to start writhing and screaming. You probably won't orgasm. It will be awkward and clumsy. It's a very sweet thing to share with someone you care deeply about. It's a pretty unfulfilling thing to share with someone you're not 100% in love with and comfortable with.

And whoa there on the anal sex. That's something that you should wait quite a while for until you're totally comfortable with him. It will hurt if you're not used to each other and haven't built up a good system for communicating during sex. It will also hurt if you don't have some good lubricant. There are special anal lubricants you can get that are thicker and better for that purpose. It's an incredibly intimate thing to do, so not something you jump to right after having sex. It's something you wait for the right moment to do.

You're asking the wrong questions right now.

It shouldn't be "I want to keep my baby and I'm afraid she will make me give it up."

You should be asking "Can a kid who has all these problems and no financial stability provide a good life for a baby?"

You've got to tell her that you're pregnant. No tiptoeing around it, just flat-out "Mom, I'm pregnant." Then let her know that you refuse to get an abortion and ask what she thinks you should do. Chances are she'll suggest adoption.

Adoption isn't a terrible thing. People are on waiting lists to add a new baby to their lives. It's very possible that yours could have a better life with another family. It's not like you cut all ties, either. You can arrange for an open adoption where you get to visit with it every once in a while. A friend of mine has an open adoption thing going with a family, and it's been fantastic for her.

Some people may say you can do whatever you want. Here's the thing. If you decide to keep the baby, that's your deal. But if your mother says "I don't want to support your baby/can't support your baby" she can kick you out of her house. So yes, you have freedom of choice, but you do have to accept the consequences.

As for the medication, I'm trying to figure out what self-respecting doctor would have you on that cocktail of meds. Are you seeing an actual psychiatrist, or just a family doctor who's scrip-happy? If you can, try getting in to see a specialist who is experienced in concurrent disorders. I'm no doctor, but I'm trying to figure out how you can be diagnosed with both bipolar and depression, since depression is a symptom of bipolar. And putting you on stimulants would make your manias worse, so ADHD treatment and antidepressants at the same time would be pretty awful. In any case, you need to have your diagnosis and medication checked out for two reasons: one, to put you on something safer for the future, and two, to make sure that what you are on is safe for pregnancy.

I can tell you that with my diagnosis of bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder and OCD, I was having nasty symptoms from the last two until I found the right medication. I'm on one mood stabilizer now, and it takes care of the other two things pretty well... or at least gets my brain down to a level where I'm able to cope with it. The solution isn't always more drugs. You may want to seek counselling sessions to teach you some skills for dealing with your panic disorder.

Most importantly, just breathe. Take it all one step at a time. If you're having trouble with the emotional side of all this, try seeing a counselor. They'll be able to help you work through what you're feeling and cope with the stress.

I love school. At least, now I do, being in post-secondary.

Up to grades 9/10 can get pretty boring because you have no choice in what classes you take. You're stuck taking a bunch of boring stuff you have no interest in because of prerequisites.

Once you hit later in high school, though, you generally have more choice. By the time I hit grade 12, I was able to choose all but one course (English) so I could take just the courses I was interested in (3 math and 3 science courses... sounds like fun, right?) There are many more options the further you get in high school.

In university it's even better. You choose what you study. That means that no matter what your required courses are, they should tie in to your area of interest.

In the end, though, it's all about your attitude. If you go into school thinking "Ugh, school," then you're going to be bored. If you go in thinking "I'm going to try and learn all that I can today," you'll be more engaged and take more out of it. And having a great teacher helps!

I'm engaged to a wonderful man. I love him to bits. I have no problem kissing him, calling him stupid names or talking for hours when he's here. But oh man... you get me on the phone and I'm all business. Drives him nuts. I can't bring myself to make kissing noises and be lovey over the phone. He's got the important part down. He's fantastic in person. Just chalk up the rest to a hatred of phone conversation and count down the days till you can see him next. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

I am going to second the first advicenator not as a qualified professional, but as a former kid who was stubborn, once thought to have a hearing problem (turns out selective hearing isn't a problem), and extremely difficult to direct in school.

I was a strange sort of kid. By the age of 5, I knew I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up, could give you the Latin name and period in which just about every dinosaur lived, and could read fluently. I couldn't ride a bicycle until age 8, and I had a lot of problems in school because teachers couldn't get me to do anything I didn't want to.

I had my hearing tested multiple times. I was punished. I was yelled at. I was given poor marks. Then someone realized that I was probably just bored. My parents started at home by giving me extra education and encouraging my interests. Eventually I was put in gifted classes, and that worked like a charm.

Something you need to do is to work with your son. He has to know that he can't just do the things he likes. If that were the case, nobody would work and everyone would live on the beach! Be firm with him. If he has homework, have him do the stuff he doesn't like before the stuff he does. Likewise for chores. Teach him that he gets to do the fun things as a reward.

Back when I taught karate lessons, I taught the white belt children's class. I'd say that about 75% of the kids registered were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Every single one of those children did just fine in a very controlled environment where they were encouraged to develop themselves.

Please don't immediately assume that your child is hyperactive and needs to be medicated into a kiddie coma. I see so many children these days Ritalin-ed into shadows of themselves when they are really just vibrant children who nobody wants to spend extra time on. Teachers don't like to (except for the very exceptional) because they don't get paid any extra for it. So it's up to you to make sure your special little boy isn't left behind and given a stigmatic tag that will follow him for the rest of his educational days. I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist, but there are a lot of kids who are diagnosed who I just don't think have it.

Until we have the technology to perform complete brain wipes, you're out of luck. And hey, even then you'd be stuck drooling and learning to tie your shoes instead of building relationships ;)

Every relationship has its major issues. You can't just run away from them and pretend they never happened. That's not how it works. You guys can tell each other that you wipe the slate clean all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that the past is still there in your minds, and it will come up to bite you later.

Start tackling those problems. Sit down together for however long it takes and hash it out. I can't give you more specific advice because I don't know what the problems are.

Here's the thing they don't tell you in magazines or movies: you don't have to agree. Sometimes it's just a case where you have to agree to disagree, air your grievances and then mutually move on. That's the closest you'll get to 'starting over'.

I swear by Visine allergy formula for when I have eye reactions. It has antihistamines in it, so it takes the reaction down. It burns a little bit when you put it on, but the relief is so worth it! It's also very reasonably priced and can be purchased at any drug store.

Other than that, cold water on a cloth helps tons.

Sounds like someone had too much to drink. Luckily for him, he wouldn't have felt too much pain... alcohol numbs the senses!

You were not out of line. He was. You need to have a conversation with him (both of you sober this time) and discuss what happened. Let him know that you'll peg it on the alcohol this time, but you won't allow a repeat. He's your friend and only your friend.

You have to make some allowances for alcohol's role in things. I've had guy friends behave like total jerks when drunk when they'd never think of it when they're sober. My response is always to tell them that I won't hang out with them if they're drinking more than a few beers. When I see them getting drunk, that's my cue to leave.

My answer's going to be a little odd because I'm an atheist.

It's my opinion that faith should be a personal thing. Faith has nothing to do with what church you go to. It's all about your personal relationship with your god. So if highly ritualized confession, bible study and prayer isn't your thing, try something new.

Faith is supposed to be a comfort, right? So find a way to pray that makes you feel better. I've always interpreted the Bible (yes, I've read it, multiple times, even though I'm an atheist... it's good reading!) as having one message once you get past all the gooey stuff that was put in there by people: love. Love yourself, love others and love your higher power because all of them love you. It means you're never alone as long as you have your faith.

So you can try to use prayer to ask for your life to be turned around. It probably won't happen, and it doesn't for most people. Good things come to those who fight for themselves. What you can do is look to your higher power for an emotional boost to help you through this time, and for a shoulder to cry on when things aren't working out the way you want to.

You can choose to view your god as an almighty, vengeful being who will cast into the fiery pits of hell anyone who doesn't do as one particular religion says. That doesn't seem all that comforting to me, though. So explore your personal relationship. That might come to you through bible study, or personal reflection. I've heard some say that their best way to understand their higher power is to get outside and enjoy nature. So enjoy your faith!

If she's experiencing symptoms that severe (most people experience nothing worse than dry mouth, weight gain or fatigue) she should be switched to another medication. There are lots of medications out there for schizophrenia. It might take some time to find the right one or the right combination. She shouldn't be unable to live her life because of her medication (a lesson I've learned recently). Seroquel is only one of dozens of potential drugs she could be taking. It's not a really uncommon type of drug.

As for help with financial support, you haven't mentioned where you live. I live in Ontario, Canada, and we have ODSP, which is a branch of welfare that deals with people who have disabilities. Your country/state/province/whatever should have something similar. People on disability payments generally get more money than someone on welfare. I also know that ODSP hooks people up with employers who are accommodating when it comes to medical requirements. Try talking to your local social assistance office, and see if they have a disability section.

The best thing for your girlfriend is to, once she's a little less shaky on her feet, try to start doing some volunteer work. I'm coming out of a huge mental health crisis myself (bipolar disorder, which has a lot of the same symptoms). It's not healthy to be cooped up in the house all the time, and will do her more harm than good in the long run. She needs something to get her out and about and socializing with other people in a low-pressure environment. It's nearly impossible to go from shaky to full-time employment, but she'd be able to handle a few hours of volunteering every week. Then it's baby steps up to being able to work part-time, then full-time. She doesn't have to be stuck where she is forever.

After I went off Depo, I was super irregular for 2 YEARS. If you're testing negative on a home test and aren't showing symptoms, chances are that's what's going on. If you miss too many in a row, try to scrape together the cash for the doctor's office.

I had a throat infection in October that lasted through three months and a round of antibiotics. Sometimes the bug you have is too strong for just one round. Your doctor will likely put you on something stronger this time.

When the glands in your throat swell, it puts pressure on the inner workings of your ear. That causes the severe ear pain.

In the meantime, do what you can to keep hydrated, because I know that was a problem for me. I lived on nothing but popsicles and sorbet for a good few weeks. Stuff like that that isn't too sugary and is cold is nice, because it helps to numb the pain.

Here's what you do. Take the XBox power cable and tell him he can have it back when he's ready to keep a civil tongue in his head.

Sometimes nipples can get really sensitive just from a weird hormone balance at certain points in your cycle. It's really common. If it lasts more than a week, get checked out by your doctor.

Start eating 20 cheeseburgers a day and sitting around watching the boob tube. As a bonus, the rest of you will get bigger too!

Unless you're going to resort to surgery, there is no exercise, pill, lotion or magic spell that will increase the size of your butt alone. Celebrate your pancake butt! I do :)

A battery for your notebook will likely cost somewhere in the realm of $100. The battery on any laptop, Mac or PC, tends to die within a few years unless you take perfect care of it (not leaving it plugged in past the charging time, not charging it unless it's fully depleted, etc). I have had the battery die on a Mac laptop that I used for work. It's not a PC independent problem.

This site has batteries for all makes of computer. You can look up your laptop model and find out what you would be spending:

http://www.batteries.com/_/N-/Ntt-compaq?Ntk=All&searchTerm=compaq

A new PC laptop would be anywhere between $400 and $1200. They're easier to fix, easier to upgrade and more compatible with external plug-ins like monitors and mouses, so if you plan on docking your notebook, that could be a problem. They can get viruses, but only if you're stupid in your browsing and downloading. I got Google Chrome, and it has built-in virus checks for websites. Heck, you can buy a really awesome virus detection program and the laptop for less than the cost of the Mac. So keep that in mind.

A PC will do just about everything but major graphic programs. Unless you're a graphic designer, you probably don't NEED a Mac. Well, really, nobody NEEDS a fancy computer to begin with, but we all like them, don't we? ;)

If your dad is the one buying, he's the one with the say-so. If you're buying, then there's nothing stopping you. Maybe if you're really set on getting a Mac and he's buying the computer, you can have him set what he thinks is a reasonable price limit and you can top up the amount that a Mac would cost.

If you really want to get liposuction, look up a video of it being done as well as finding out what all the side effects are. That's what turned me off of the whole idea. Once you're thoroughly grossed out and too scared to have someone jam a huge needle repeatedly into your stomach, it's time to try a more logical, permanent solution.

Number one: save that money and put it towards counselling. I mean it. And hey, it costs a lot less than liposuction. 30 lbs overweight isn't THAT bad. It's certainly not bad enough that you should wish you would die. It is possible to love yourself at any weight. I should know: I used to weigh 100 lbs more than you! In fact, your weight is my goal weight (I'm 5'8"). If you're hating yourself because of your weight, there are some serious self esteem issues at play.

I have 80 lbs to go. I know people who are trying to lose 10, 20, 30, 100, 200, 300 lbs. Do you know what we all have in common? We're doing it through proper diet and exercise.

Find a calorie tracker that you like using. MyFitnessPal is the one I use, but SparkPeople also does the same thing. Both are free. You sign up, make a profile, put in your goals and it tells you how much you need to eat to make it to those goals. The only catch: you're limited to losing it steadily at a rate of up to 2 lbs a week. Why is this? Well, if you lose faster, it means that you're eating far too little. Your body will start holding on to every bit of energy you put into it and you'll stop losing weight. The moment you eat more than that low amount, you'll end up gaining all the weight you lost and more. I'm an expert on that... it's how I got to this point in the first place!

Start off by making good switches. Cut your salt intake (you can track it with the trackers). Drink lots of water and cut out pop (I lost 5 lbs of water weight the second day by doing this). Oatmeal instead of Pop Tarts. Veggies and dip instead of chips. Try balancing your diet using the guidelines the site gives you (carbs, fat and protein). Then cut back your portions if you need to, or exercise more to make up the surplus. Exercise doesn't mean "run 5 miles". It means anything you like to do. Exercise videos, going for a walk, swimming, dancing, etc. Find something fun that you can stick with. The online calorie trackers I told you about allow you to input all the food you've eaten and automatically calculates how many calories you've had. You can also input exercise, and it will tell you how many calories you've burned and apply that against what you've taken in. Don't be discouraged if you gain a bit at first when you start exercising. Building muscle makes you gain weight, but it makes you lose fat faster.

Surgery is not the way. Sure, it's fast, but the healing process isn't. You'd be bruised and miserable for ages after. If you were to gain weight, it would look lumpy and weird because those fat cells would be gone, so you'd gain it in other places. And you would gain weight, because you wouldn't have adjusted your eating habits at all. That's what got you to the weight you're at. If you lose weight with diet and exercise, you'll be "fit skinny", not "fat skinny". You'll be toned and most importantly, healthy! Celebrate each victory, scale and non-scale (like going down a pants size) and feel good because you're giving yourself a healthy foundation for the rest of your life.

You need to contact your father's insurance company to see what they will cover. Every policy is different, so you may be pleasantly surprised.

The policy should pay for the car repairs as well as any medical expenses and legal fees. His company won't want to pay out, so they're going to do their darndest to make the other person pay up. There may be an increase in the monthly premium you pay, but it's better than paying for everything out of pocket.

Also, some lawyers will work on a pay-on-win basis. That means that you don't pay them until you win, and if they lose your case you don't have to.

The police are at work on this. It takes some time to get through the investigation, but they will find her eventually.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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