I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
Visitors: 35126
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
ciao77
Advicelady6798
The_MoUsY_spell_checker
Cux
Erinn_the_bamf
masterclinic
Ignatz
advicenator_admin
more...
|
| |
My 15-year-old sister is horrible. I'm only two years younger than she is but she treats me like I'm some kind of slave to her or something. And it's all the time. I'm usually a really passive person about things like this, but I'm just downright sick of being forced to live with this kind of treatment from her.
I had my two friends, Rachel and Beth, over a couple nights ago and we went straight downstairs, keeping to ourselves, minding our own the whole time. Then my sister barrels down the stairs and yells at me in front of my friends because I didn't let the dogs in after they'd been let out. My sister called my dad and told him, "Dad, she hasn't been helping me all day and I've done all the work and her friends are so rude to me." Even though, for one, I'd done her AND my chores because she had threatened a phone call to dad.
And I believe that the only remark my friends had was "You could have just opened the door because you were already upstairs." and that's not rude at all. So then my dad came home and yelled at me in front of my friends, and guess what? They had to go home and I was grounded for a week. All because of my sister's lying.
And then I found out that my sister did some stuff with this college guy who never liked her anyway. So I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone and I never did. But she continues to treat me like she does.
She lies to my parents about so much stuff. I get in trouble for things I don't deserve to be in trouble for. And I can't tell them that she's lying because she denies it and they believe her because shes the 'mature' one and the older one.
Help? (link)
|
Remeber, you can still tell them that your sister 'did some stuff' at college. I know that it was a promise, but she's been treating you horribly so you've got every right. So in fact, you can use it as a threat, saying that you'll tell your parents if she doesn't stop. If she doesn't and you tell your parents, her behavior should change.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
|
|
im so sad i dont know what to do anymore. i make myself look pretty everyday and guys dont flirt or anything with me. im ugly. my cuzin cory invited me to go bowling but he is going with his gf and kent. i like kent he is so hott but hes going with courtney there not going out. i see kent with courtney all the time. he is always hugging her and i think kissing her i dont know about it. what do i do should i go bowling. what should i wear and what make up to wear. i need tips to look pretty. i dont know what to do anymore. please help thanks in advance (link)
|
You say that your ugly, well, if that's your thought, then that is what you'll project to the world. Don't make such an effort to make yourself pretty, you need to understand that sometimes boys don't like girls who 'make themselves pretty (I'm not trying to be offensive here).
Just relax and act casual. Ask Cory or Kent to introduce you to some boys and see how that goes. To help you, there is a book by Debra Fine called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk', it will help you to be more relaxed around people and start of conversations. Show that your a really good person (and i'm sure you are) and that your interested in other peoples lives.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
|
I am only sixteen years old. i have a son who just turned one. i am finishing up high school. my parents are going throw a brutel divorce. my dads abusive. (thats who i am living with) my mom has to many people living with her for me and my son to stay there and my dad refuses to let me leave. I cant find a job and i been looking since i had my son. i feel depressed even though a doctor told me im not. i feel that i cant handle all this anymore. my sons father just started helping but its not enough he works at a convient. i dont know what im looking for i need advice. or something please help me. (link)
|
If you've got any realtives who live near you or some friends who're willing to help you, you can go to them and ask whether you can stay there for a short time, only until you've got a steady job or you've got somewhere else to stay. I know it's hard, but you must do what's best for your son and the thing right now is to get a roof over his head and where he's being fed.
Don't over do your stay, only until you feel ready to leave and you can go somewhere else, perhaps with your boyfriend.
As for the job, don't worry. One will come along sooner rather than later.
Good luck for the future and your son (happy birthday)
triquetra
|
I’m very confused about this guy in my math class. I’m seriously not sure whether he likes me or hates me. My mom
He never talks to me unless I talk to him (which is not very often) and whenever I do talk to him, he never looks at me. I sit next to him in math class, and whenever I’m around him, there is always some kind of awkward tension. Generally, though, he seems to avoid me like the plague. But today, when it was time to start doing classwork, I got out my notebook from my backpack, and he tore me out a sheet of binder paper without me asking him.
Oddly, he’s usually very friendly and open around other kids, except for me. My mom told me that when guys like girls, sometimes they behave the exact opposite. Is this true? Does it sound like this is the case in this situation?
(link)
|
You first need to be sure that you aren't reading the signs wrong. Ask him first what his feelings are for her and i imagine that he'll be a little confused about why you're asking him, just say that you wanted to make sure.
Next, what do you feel towards him? This is important because if this is going to turn into a realtionship, you don't want him to feel in anyway hopeful if you don't know what your feelings are for him. It's only fair.
Think about it for a while and see what you feel.
Hope this helps,
triquetra
|
|
Ok I have 3 friends and I love them all but here is the deal. One friend named S always says she has problems with me and C. I love S because she is so funny and smart but she is always saying bad things about us. Sometimes at lunch she will list the problems about C and some things C does do but I am just like watever. C also talks about S and says somethings that are true. I love C too because she lives close to me and we hang out a lot and she is funny and caring. Now H always sides with S and I feel like I am just stuck in the middle and all I hear about is crap about the other friend. I love them all and I still want to be friends with all of them but how do i get these problems to stop with still being friends? (link)
|
Sit them all down and say that you're fed up with them saying mean things about each other. Ask them to have an adult disscusion where they can talk to each other about their issues with each but make it plain that you want them to be still friends.
Let them work through their issues and intervene only when you need to. Don't let it get to an argument.
hope this helps,
triquetra
|
|
i just got a new boyfriend (my first)..and we've been together for two days (lol) and i really really really like him. we were holding and caressing each other's hands today, and he told me "kiss meee"...and i was kinda shy...so i turned away and didnt kiss him....now im afraid he doesnt like me anymore :( even though i know he does..lol...since i'm new to having a boyfriend..these little things get to me easily :/ what can I do? (link)
|
It's fine if your not ready for your first kiss, most people aren't. If you're not ready, then he should be ready to accept that fact and wait.
Personally, i feel as if two days isn't enough time between the two of you yet. So wait for a little while longer and see what happens, and when your ready, you'll know.
triquetra
|
i dont know why im still really upset. my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because were too long distance. i was so upset. i cried so much. we were together for 5 months and he was my frist boyfriend and kiss. i never liked anyone like i liked him. i still do. i agree that we lived too far away and i knew it. i was just felt like i took the whole thing for granted. i imed him saturday which was a big step for me and he said he regrets the breakupp. he said he still likes me. i got closure. i understand why were broken up. i dont know why but im still sad inside. im thinking its cause it just hit me last night when i took our pictures off the wall. i want to express myself to my friends but i dont really know what to say cause i dont really exactly know why im still this sad. i feel like i still need to cryy. but it doesnt come out. im so confused with myself. why am i still sad? how can i express it? all help would be appretiated.
thanks;;
hopeless (link)
|
It's really hard when you break up with somebody whom was your first boyfirend and with whom you shared your first kiss.
The sadness which your feeling is just the feeling which you get when you sub-conscious thinks about all the fact that you cannot see him anymore.
But don't let this get you down. Think about the happy times which you spent with him during those 5 months. Think about the fact that he was your first love and that shared your first kiss with him: that's got to count for something, doesn't it? Just because you're far away, doesn't mean that you can't keep in contact with him. Skype him (if he's got it as well as you) or call him, e-mail him or something. Don't be put down by the negative, think of the positive.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
|
so me and my guy have been dating for 15th months! i love him soo much! we we're each other's firsts for EVERYTHING except making out...i'm 16 he is 17...he's the kinda guy that is really moody like his dad...and stubborn... me and him have had some really big fights and stuff like that...he's cheated on my twice and i know about them but i've also cheated on him twice which he doesn't know about...i've been stressing out alot about our relationship because i really don't want to lose him...how can i make our relationship healthier? i do call him alot and everytime we are at his house we have sex..how can i change our relationship for the better? and don't just say to stop having sex...and idk if we should break up or not...we really don't want to cause we are like co-dependant on each other..oh and we both get really mad at each other over stu[id things sometimes.. (link)
|
The best way to get this to work is to talk to one and another. It's best for you to sit down some where private and talk through your issues.
But there is one question which you and him need to ask: how do you feel about each other? This is the question which can either keep and realtionship going or breaks it up (which is something which i don't want happening).
It's better to tell him that you've cheated on him twice, and he should understand because he's done the same to you. Don't hold back, for if you do continue the realtionship and he finds out, that will jepodise it. Sex shouldn't be for fun (not saying that you do at all), it should be because the two people love each other a lot.
About these little things, talk to him about that, because if you can't get over those, then what will it be like when you hit something big? See how you can avoid those situations.
When your in a relationship, the two of you must over come the obstacles when life will throw at you. The two of you need to become one. Talk and work through the issues together.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
Well my tabby is getting old, she's healthy except she's fat haha, she is 13 and she's basically like a child to me. Lately I can't help but think about what I will do when she dies, I know I'll be devastated and I hate thinking about it. Basically I want to ask about cremating pets: is it costly? Do you just take the pet to a regular human crematory?
I would just bury her in the backyard next to my dog's grave, but I know I won't be living here much longer [I'm 18] and my parents will probably move soon after.
I also heard about compressing ashes into a diamond, I'm guessing that is really expensive though?
And I thought about getting her stuffed like the dog on Scrubs, but I'm sure that costs too much.
So can anyone tell me about cremation? Or other options, I just will want a good way to remember her and [this sounds dumb but] honor her. Personal experience would help a lot, kinda why I'm asking here in the first place. Thanks for any help. (link)
|
Here are some sites:
http://www.valleypetcrematorium.co.uk/index.php
http://www.ncn.net/~scottdev/index_files/Page462.htm
I've found that some sites don't give you the prices, so the two above do have the prices. Diamonds with the ashes in them are A LOT (x 15) more expensive (just to show, you're talking about $3000 - $19000).
Stuffing is fine, as long as you can stand the fact that she won't meow again, no matter how life like she is. Creamating would be the best way I think because you can put her ashes anywhere and honour her in that way.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
|
im 13/f
on friday we will have a spling bee and i rly wnat to do good in it..
[its a CLASSROOM] spleiing bee by the way
what kind of words will bee in the CLASSROOM spelling bee though? I want to know so i could study because my teacher didnt giveus the words for it
iwant to be the school spelling bee champ
and go to the district all the way to at least regionals.
any tips or share your experience with me please?
TRicks you did to get you through the next round?
-how the remeber to spell a word
-how to spell a word you dont even know or havent heard
-those language of origins how do they help
but my main QUESTION is: what are usuallly the words that are in an 8 grade class..? (link)
|
There is this site:
http://www.time4learning.com/SpellingWords/8th-grade-spelling-words.shtml
Scroll down and you'll find a whole list. Don't be starled by this, take some words which are likely to be used in the spelling bee. The site should also help you to remember it.
i hope this helped,
triquetra
|
|
how come its easier for me to be more outgoing n stuff around people i dont know, or who are shy. and i like outgoing people but sometimes i dont know.. i feel kinda shy around them but i dont want them to think im a really shy person.. its just.. idk. and sometimes like i dont know what to talk about with my friends, when theres nothing really to talk about, like on the bus and stuff. so sometimes im quiet but i really like to talk but with some people idk.. like what are some topics i could use for conversations? and how do i fix my problem? cause it irks me when people think im shy when its just cause like.. i dunno im not that comfortable with them yet. and its not like that with everyone.. it just depends. i wanna be more confident with that and also public speaking.. cause i like doing it but for some reason right before i do it i get nervous and it pisses me off (link)
|
There is a book by Debra Fine called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk' which helps you to start conversations with other people and makes you feel comfortable around people. On Amazon, it's £5.99 (reduced from £7.99), on Waterstones, it's £6.39 (reduced from £7.99).
I've got this book and trust me, it really helps.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
First of all, I'm a musician....sort of.
I write and record my music and I love it.
Many people, some that I don't even know,
have said that its good...check it out at garageband.com "4xWise" and judge for yourself.
OkOk let me start again.. I'm a Mixed Martial Artist....sort of. I train and fight in local competitions and I love it. The team I train with tells me I'm pretty good at it.
I have a fulltime job and a family so there is not enough time to do both full on and I'm tired of goin halfway with it. Thats why that song isn't as good as it could be.
Every time I do one I wish I was doing the
other. I can't make up my mind.
The wife of course, wants me to stop fighting
saying that I'm getting old. I'm 29. I love MMA.
You could win 8 fights and almost open your own school.
Then theres nothing like it when your creativity
starts flowin and your ideas come together......
..... Whatdya think? (link)
|
Do something which will allow to you get more money. A martial arts school would attract people and more money that way.
Music is also good, but does it bring in money? Remeber, you need to do something which will benefit your family. So unless you get a really good record deal, then you should stick to MMA, for your family but do it up until you think it's time to stop. But also listen to your wife, try and let her see that it could be worth while opening a school.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
|
Ok. I have been really good friends with this guy for quite a long time. Last year we kinda started v flirting and stuff.(wow.)Along the months we became more friends than in a bf/gf relationship.Really good friends, and well, that was really great with me.I loved it. Well, we go to different schools now. I eventually realized that i really had a crush on him.In the summer i was trying to forget about him completely so i could move on in my life, have a crush on someone else maybe. but it never worked, or even happened.If anything, i thought of him even more. I honestly haven't liked anyone else in 2 years!!
I care soooo much about him.I realize that sounds rediculous but it is so true.(By the way , i know the difference bettween puppy love.i do have experience with this kinda stuff, considering i watch my friends go throuigh it all the time. igt gets annoying sometimes) I actually worry about him though. There is not a day i don't worry about him. about three times a week, i constantly wake up at night thinking about him.I pray for him all the time, that nothing bad happens to him, and that he has a good life, and learns from his mistakes. I don't think that i'm IN love with him, but i DO LOVE him . no doubt.
I still talk to him all the time. i have told no one of these feelings, and i don't really think i want too. it is much harder typing them outin words than saying it because i have so much unexpressed feeling towards him that i cannot even explain.
I just wanted to know if anyone else out there has ever had the same "truely" strong feeling toward anyone. aka-Not just puppy love. this is mostly going out towards the experienced, the ones that have acually felt a strong, REAL love.(not really teens...srry)
This is not entirly a question, but i do think it could be advise.If there are any stories??
by the way, im in high school.
Thanx.
sAmeMistAke
(link)
|
Talk to him and see how he feels about you. Then tell him that you've got incredibly strong feelings for him and that you want this relationship to go further. There is nothing more you can do than to speak to him.
i hope this helps,
triquetra
|
my best friend kylie and i recently got into an argument, and i decided to end the friendship.
what happened was that i found out somebody was passing around naked pictures of her. like giving them to her friends and shit. she wasn't supposed to know because only a small group of kids knew about it. the person that i found out from made me promise not to tell kylie. i promised. i wasn't going to tell kylie until i thought about it. i felt like withholding that kind of information from her was being a bad best friend. better to hear it from me than some stranger, right? so i told her. i pleaded with her not to tell anyone, that it would make me look bad, like a big mouth. she promised not to tell anybody.
to make a long story short, she went straight to the source and started bitching out the kid who passed them around. the more she tried to cover up, the more i found out she was lying to me. she even directly told the kid that i told her. she GAVE him the text messages to read, but lied about it and said he took her phone.
she wouldn't even admit that she did anything wrong. she acted like i was the one being selfish.
i told everyone that i was done with her, that i didn't want to speak to her ever again. two nights later, she apologized. i didn't expect her to do that.
now, i miss her. she's apologized and i feel like she should have a second chance. but now i make myself look stupid because i kept saying how i never wanted to speak to her again. the other thing is that i don't trust her anymore. she lied to me and kept secrets. i don't know what to do.
i'm sorry this was so long. but thank you to anyone that read it and can offer advice. (link)
|
You should give her a second chance. You have to remeber that everyone has seen things which they shouldn't have seen and that's completly exposed her. She would naturally feel angry and furious about the whole thing and anybody would, wouldn't they?
Now she's gotten over her anger, she's realised her mistake and now she wants to make it up.
I sometimes get very angry and i do things which i regret later, even break up some friendships, but when i apologised they didn't speak to me, ever. Don't let that happen to Kylie.
i really do hope that this helps,
triquetra
|
|
ok. here's the deal:: my little sister got a guitar for xmas so my mother had my exboyfriend (though she doesn't know we dated) come over and give her a lesson after school. Mom basically told me to stay out of the lesson (which was kinda hard to do since they were sitting in the living room) so I talked to people on AIM blah blah blah. ANYWAY I got hungry so i went into the kitchen. well, the way my house is set up, i had to walk past them in the living room. so, once i got into the kitchen my ex started playing his guitar and goes "hey, ________(name withheld), its your favorite song" and the way he looked at me just made me think ok, what the hell is going on and what is he up to. (i can't believe he even remembered that it was my favorite!) the last time we dated, he cheated on me with my cousin/best friend. some how my cousin/best friend found out about how he was at my house and that he said that so she's getting all pissy 'cause she thinks he wants to hook back up with me. (which is absolutely ridiculous; he cheated on me with her not the other way around.) but i've been thinking about it a lot and i'm thinking maybe there is something going on and i honestly don't know what to do. if you have any idea what is going on or what i should do please please please help me. it'd be greatly appreciated. (link)
|
Considering the fact that he came to your house to learn the guitar and sang your favorite song, means that he still has feelings for you.
He clearly wants to have a second chance with you, but only if you allow him. Give him a second chance and see what happens. Don't turn him down, but you must talk to him and see whether he really loves you. Explain your feelings and that you a little confused as to what he's doing.
Love never dies in those who find their first love. You may want to regect, i don't, that's your call. But consider giving him a second chance.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
|
There is this kid that i am with and i like him but my parents dont let me date so ive been hiding it. im 15 and im a sophmore and i feel like they just dont understand how it is these days to date...what do i do and how could i ever tell them so that theyd understand? (link)
|
The first thing to do, is to break it to them slowly. Tell them that you want to talk to them about something which has been troubling you. Now, explain to them that you've been have these feelings for this guy and you really want to date him.
Now naturally, they will say 'no' or 'out of the question', but don't give up there. Be bold enough to ask them what they felt when they young and they met each other. Also, make tell them that you need to grow up and learn about what a relationship is about.
You're in love and nothing should stop you. Make them see that you're very serious about this relationship and you want it to work between you.
hope this helps,
triquetra
|
I've never been the type of person to hug every individual. Most of the comfort I recieve is through eye contact or word usage, yet I know what's missing...I need to be comforted physically. How can I go about hugging the ones I care about without doubting myself?
Also, what makes for a good hug? (link)
|
When you hug somebody, it needs to come from your heart, not your head.
I don't know what you doubt about yourself, but if it's just about touching somebody else, don't think about it. All it takes is a quick hug if it's for saying hi, but if it is to sombody you love, then it needs to be a few seconds longer (same for comforting somebody).
Hope this helps,
triquetra
|
|
So i have this friend right. And were really good friends like best friends haha. and we talk everynight. i still like him and i know he kinda still likes me. I guess you can say were friends with "benefits" =/ anyways. he started ditching me and hes always leading me on and getting my hopes up. For example he finally texts me and hes like wanna talk tonight cutie? and im like UH YEA haha no im like sure i called him twice he never called back. I was up till 12:30 in the morning just waiting for him to call. I know that sounds desperate but i like him alot and i cant even picture him with anygirl. another example he was telling me on new years eve he met this one girl through his friends and shes our age and shes really pretty and she almost gave him a blowjob and she would do all this stuff with him. And how he was gonna give it a try with her. and how he wanted it to work. then a few minutes or a half hour later hes like oh my god i wanna be with you forever i love you. I just cant take it anymore. The pain of loosing him and listening to him talk about hooking up with 18 year olds (were both 15) and i just think it would be easier and less painful if i walk away before he leaves me for good. I just i cant do that its too hard. But im sick of him standing me up. i know "theres other fish in the see, youl get over him" but for the meantime what do you guys think i should do? thanks so much. (link)
|
YOu have to ask him directly whether he's serious about this relationship. He cannot keep on getting you hopes up and then dropping them, that's not fair at all. YOu must express your feelings to him and how much he means to you, and how much you really want this relationship to work.
See where his feelings are and then you can move on from there. Talk to each other and listen, don't yell or shout because that will make things a little bit more complicated for the both of you nad you'll work through your issues. Remember: perfect relationships are hard to come by, but you can make it happen if you talk to each other.
hope this helps,
triquetra
|
((14/F))
Ok I've had something bugging me lately.I have a good friend he's creepy and odd but he's a very cool person to hang out with.Anyways,I went to a party on the day we got out for school for christmas break.Well, when I went to the party I talked to him at times when I suddenly got or just for fun and when I went inside my friends house,um, lets call her Holly.He went inside too after a few minutes I kept getting chips cause I was hungrey and he kept telling me that I was going to get fat and that my crush won't like me anymore if I got fat and all that crap.
Well,he kept bugging me about and would'ent shut up.Then a little later on I was outside sitting next to some friends he said he was going to hug me to death or my other friend well he kept trying to hug me than my other friend and he would'ent stop until he would hug me and I would'ent let him((I'm so mean)) when I sat up I suddenly forgot about him then I heard him say,'Now I can get you!' so I ranaway from him and sat next to a friend,uh,Josh who decided to protect me.
But, he kept bugging me about my crush and him trying to hug me (( he found a seat that was just across from me.I then heard my other two friends,Kyle and Jake laughing.So i turned my head around to know what they were laughing about.When Kyle saw me he said,'Hey ((my name)) I think Matt likes you.'I just glared at him and turned my attention somewhere else.
Ever since I've left that party it's been somewhat been bugging me.
1:Cause if he likes me I might be hurting his feelings cause he knows I like someone already for a long time.
2:I just hope he dosent like me and be that way and not be an akward friendship.
I've been thinking how he acts around me and what I've noticed is that he always bugs me and hardly anyone else.
Now I have an aunt who's been going out with this guy for about 2 years already.My aunts Bf has a son my age whos name i will call,Alan.Alan is a popular boy unlike me who is not popular.
Alan acts exactly just like my friend Matt.He always gets me mad and teases me even when I try acting nice to him.I'm always Alans target,other than it being my lil sis or cousin.He treats them waaayyy more nicely than what he treats me.But i remember once he did a very sweet thing,he gave gave a browine to my sister,broke it into half,and told her to give me the other piece.Thats the only sweet thing I remember him doing.
Though I doubt he likes cause he has a girlfriend and i don't know why I think he likes me,but maybe it's just cause he acts like matt...Besides he's popular I'm not,so it makes sense for him not to like me...Also,we never get along.And I'm fine with that.^^
Anyways both boys act like little brats when I'm around them.Though I think it's just them being them but this was just bugging me at the end of my mind so I just need to know if they like me and I really hope they don't.Also,once with Alan both me and him were alone in my room((he was using the computer))he kept asking questions about me while talking to his girlfriend.Some questions were mean while the others were quite personal and things that he did not need to know...
soooo.....what's your opinon???((so sorry of this is soooo long!!! TT__TT I apologize!))
(link)
|
When two people do the same thing, then it tends to mean that they know that it annoys you and they want to see you get taunted and want to make you think that you're defensiveless.
The way to come back from this, is to show that you're not weak and that what they're doing isn't annoying you. They should find that what they're doing is becoming boring. Tell them things like "My boyfriend loves me no matter how i look" or "When will you hit puberty? You still seem to have the mind of a 5 year old!"or "What does it matter to you how i look?" You get the point? Don't back down.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
|
14/f
At the moment my love life is really confusing me.
At the beginning of this month, me and my then-boyfriend of 3 and a half months, G, split up. I had just had enough of the relationship, and I know it sounds bad, but I'd just got bored of it to be honest. Ever since then he's been telling friends (we have the same friend group) how in love with me he is, and saying that he's falling more and more in love with me all the time. When we were dating we acted more like friends than lovers.
A while ago my best friend D was dating this guy - R. I'd always liked R a little bit, but when they split up (about a month before me and G split up), R told some people he liked me, which made me like him more. Towards the end of my relationship with G, me and R were flirting quite a lot. When me and G split up, R told me he liked me, but we both agreed we couldn't do anything about it, seeing as I'd just split up with G, and R's my best friend's ex.
Somehow, everyone found out, and now G and R pretty much hate each other.
At a recent party, me and R ended up making out and spending the night together, but somehow it didn't feel right. At this same party, one of my friends F (who is always messing people around when it comes to relationships) made a move on G, and rumours about the two of them started going round. It really upset me, and at that point, I knew I couldn't deny that I still have feelings for G.
Recently, R has told people he's in love with me, and he's been saying really intense things to me, I've tried telling him I don't want to be in a relationship, but he doesn't seem to understand.
G has also said that he's still in love with me, and I know nothing's going on between him and F, although she's told me she likes him.
Recently, me and G have been getting on better, and my feelings for him are getting stronger again. But he has said on his myspace and livejournal that he loves me and will never be with me again, so he's going to try and move on and get on with his life. And if he wants to move on and get on with his life, I don't want to get in the way of it by telling him I still have feelings for him. Although one of our friends told me he doesn't want to get over me, but he thinks he has to.
So at the moment, I'm talking to both R and G, and I'm worried that I'm starting to mess them about. I don't want to give them hope, and I don't know which of them I'd rather be with, or if I even want to be in a relationship at all. I think I need some time on my own, but I really miss G, and I do like R, the problem is; they're both obviously a lot more serious about me than I am about them. I'm starting to feel like I'm leading them on =/
I also have a friend, C, who asked me out recently (I said no) and told one of my friends he's in love with me, so I don't want to hurt him by suddenly being in a relationship.
I just want to know what you think and what you think I should do?
Thanks, xxx (link)
|
Tell both of them that you aren't interested in a realtionship with any of them. In that time, you can sort out your feelings for both of them, but tell them not to put their lives on hold and wait in hope that one of them will become 'victorious' (not making a statement here).
Tell G about the feelings which his girlfriend is having feelings for him and it's not fair for him to be having a relationship with somebody who thinks that they've got something.
In fact, tell them to sort their feelings out as well. They could say that they love you, but is that in fact what they feel.
Don't take this the wrong way but they must think about this. G is seeing somebody else and he must respect F, so for him to say that he loves you indicates that something is worng, he doesn't know what he feels. R? He should think very carefully about his feelings because telling others that he loves you and not to you personally i find very strange, why not come to you straight away and not listen to 'second hand' information. Could he be trying to convince himself that he loves you?
I do hope this helps,
triquetra
|
|