|
Problems
Ok I have 3 friends and I love them all but here is the deal. One friend named S always says she has problems with me and C. I love S because she is so funny and smart but she is always saying bad things about us. Sometimes at lunch she will list the problems about C and some things C does do but I am just like watever. C also talks about S and says somethings that are true. I love C too because she lives close to me and we hang out a lot and she is funny and caring. Now H always sides with S and I feel like I am just stuck in the middle and all I hear about is crap about the other friend. I love them all and I still want to be friends with all of them but how do i get these problems to stop with still being friends?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sit them all down and say that you're fed up with them saying mean things about each other. Ask them to have an adult disscusion where they can talk to each other about their issues with each but make it plain that you want them to be still friends.
Let them work through their issues and intervene only when you need to. Don't let it get to an argument.
hope this helps,
triquetra
]
you could change the topic. like if they say something like, "oh my god C just talks way too much during movies." you could say, "OH speaking of which, have you seen that new movie that just came out, Juno?" or whatever. like have it innocently changed to where they didnt notice you changed the topic completely.
another thing you can do is ignore it but i guess if you want to get rid of the problem, then you could try talking to them about it.
or sometimes what i do is if they say something negative about a person i try saying like, "yeah but you have to admit she is really funny. like once she told this joke..etc etc" you know? or just turn a negative around into a positive, like: "C is so nosy." you: "oh i guess, but i think its because she cares about other people so much, that she wants to get to know about them and if she can help if they're having a problem."
then they all think of you as a positive and genuinely nice person that they can trust.
]
why dont you just tell them that you dont want them to talk baout your friends like that weither or not its true if they have a problem they should just go tell eachother because you would stand up for them if somoen was talking behind there back. and start doing that for all of them. it would show to their face that you would stand up for them and indirectly showing them that you are a caring friend by saying not to talk about other people behind their backs? thats what i do
]
More Questions: |