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Love life is getting seriously complicated, don't know what
14/f
At the moment my love life is really confusing me.
At the beginning of this month, me and my then-boyfriend of 3 and a half months, G, split up. I had just had enough of the relationship, and I know it sounds bad, but I'd just got bored of it to be honest. Ever since then he's been telling friends (we have the same friend group) how in love with me he is, and saying that he's falling more and more in love with me all the time. When we were dating we acted more like friends than lovers.
A while ago my best friend D was dating this guy - R. I'd always liked R a little bit, but when they split up (about a month before me and G split up), R told some people he liked me, which made me like him more. Towards the end of my relationship with G, me and R were flirting quite a lot. When me and G split up, R told me he liked me, but we both agreed we couldn't do anything about it, seeing as I'd just split up with G, and R's my best friend's ex.
Somehow, everyone found out, and now G and R pretty much hate each other.
At a recent party, me and R ended up making out and spending the night together, but somehow it didn't feel right. At this same party, one of my friends F (who is always messing people around when it comes to relationships) made a move on G, and rumours about the two of them started going round. It really upset me, and at that point, I knew I couldn't deny that I still have feelings for G.
Recently, R has told people he's in love with me, and he's been saying really intense things to me, I've tried telling him I don't want to be in a relationship, but he doesn't seem to understand.
G has also said that he's still in love with me, and I know nothing's going on between him and F, although she's told me she likes him.
Recently, me and G have been getting on better, and my feelings for him are getting stronger again. But he has said on his myspace and livejournal that he loves me and will never be with me again, so he's going to try and move on and get on with his life. And if he wants to move on and get on with his life, I don't want to get in the way of it by telling him I still have feelings for him. Although one of our friends told me he doesn't want to get over me, but he thinks he has to.
So at the moment, I'm talking to both R and G, and I'm worried that I'm starting to mess them about. I don't want to give them hope, and I don't know which of them I'd rather be with, or if I even want to be in a relationship at all. I think I need some time on my own, but I really miss G, and I do like R, the problem is; they're both obviously a lot more serious about me than I am about them. I'm starting to feel like I'm leading them on =/
I also have a friend, C, who asked me out recently (I said no) and told one of my friends he's in love with me, so I don't want to hurt him by suddenly being in a relationship.
I just want to know what you think and what you think I should do?
Thanks, xxx
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Okay well to me it seems as if you DO need a break. You should tell them both you arn't for a relationship right now and you need time to think of what you really want; freedom for a while or love again. It also seems that you have stronger feelings for G. The way you talk about him and still having feelings for him. You even get upset when another friend makes a move on him. I think if you decide to get with anyone you know who it is.
Good Luck,
Corbie-Leigh♀
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Tell both of them that you aren't interested in a realtionship with any of them. In that time, you can sort out your feelings for both of them, but tell them not to put their lives on hold and wait in hope that one of them will become 'victorious' (not making a statement here).
Tell G about the feelings which his girlfriend is having feelings for him and it's not fair for him to be having a relationship with somebody who thinks that they've got something.
In fact, tell them to sort their feelings out as well. They could say that they love you, but is that in fact what they feel.
Don't take this the wrong way but they must think about this. G is seeing somebody else and he must respect F, so for him to say that he loves you indicates that something is worng, he doesn't know what he feels. R? He should think very carefully about his feelings because telling others that he loves you and not to you personally i find very strange, why not come to you straight away and not listen to 'second hand' information. Could he be trying to convince himself that he loves you?
I do hope this helps,
triquetra
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Wow, what a pickle you are in. I would tell R, G, and C, that you are not wanting to be involved with anyone, until you are sure you are making the right decision. Take some time to think it out and find the right decision for yourself. If they move on in that time, then they weren't meant for you to begin with. The old saying, "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, then it was yours to begin with" comes to mind. If you do some soul searching you can figure out which one you like best, without any influence from all three of them, who knows, you may decide you don't really like any of them. If they are true friends of yours, they will respect your decision and give you room. Good Luck!
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