|
15th month relationship stress
so me and my guy have been dating for 15th months! i love him soo much! we we're each other's firsts for EVERYTHING except making out...i'm 16 he is 17...he's the kinda guy that is really moody like his dad...and stubborn... me and him have had some really big fights and stuff like that...he's cheated on my twice and i know about them but i've also cheated on him twice which he doesn't know about...i've been stressing out alot about our relationship because i really don't want to lose him...how can i make our relationship healthier? i do call him alot and everytime we are at his house we have sex..how can i change our relationship for the better? and don't just say to stop having sex...and idk if we should break up or not...we really don't want to cause we are like co-dependant on each other..oh and we both get really mad at each other over stu[id things sometimes..
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
ok your problem is that you so much to tell him your secrets i think its becuase you cheated on him and you didnt tell him and the fact that hes cheated on you TWICE and you feel that you cant trust him as well fighting is going to happend and im not going to say no to have sex its your life if thats what you do do it. but im saying that the smart thing to do is tell him what your feeling rite now cuz thats a healthy relationship maybe telling him your secret is going to help but if you think its just going to break you guys up then dont do it but its really up to you. im just giving suggestions!
]
The best way to get this to work is to talk to one and another. It's best for you to sit down some where private and talk through your issues.
But there is one question which you and him need to ask: how do you feel about each other? This is the question which can either keep and realtionship going or breaks it up (which is something which i don't want happening).
It's better to tell him that you've cheated on him twice, and he should understand because he's done the same to you. Don't hold back, for if you do continue the realtionship and he finds out, that will jepodise it. Sex shouldn't be for fun (not saying that you do at all), it should be because the two people love each other a lot.
About these little things, talk to him about that, because if you can't get over those, then what will it be like when you hit something big? See how you can avoid those situations.
When your in a relationship, the two of you must over come the obstacles when life will throw at you. The two of you need to become one. Talk and work through the issues together.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
]
You already have all the answers...even the ones you don't want to hear. Admitting that your'e both codependent is accurate and I am pleased that you are at least clearly mature enough to realize this at your young age. Also, you know that without sex, there would be no romantic relationship and you would both move on permanently. Did you cheat to get back at him when he cheated? If you told him about your cheating he would most likely break up with you, right? Guys like to carry a double-standard when it comes to faithfulness, so don't try to save your relationship by unburdening your soul. It sounds like you are beginning to sense the need for more and better things out of a boyfriend, a relationship...heck, even from yourself and that is great. You can only control yourself and that takes constant work, but will not be a waste of time...which is what hoping someone else will change turns out to be most of the time. Put all your positive energy into your own growth and set some goals. It is easy to become lost in your identity when you are a part of a couple...even a healthy couple. So, if you are going to have sex with him or anyone else, be safe, demand condom wearing to protect your body and future everytime, and do it on your own terms. You have a right to be safe and happy.
]
Firstly, sex doesn't make a relationship. Having sex every time you are together doesn't make the kinks iron out. Sex is an act of love- you share yourself with him because you love him, not to try to right wrongs.
I agree that you should come clean about cheating. You know he is guilty, he needs to know you are, too. Both of you need to come to terms with the fact that you both made the same mistakes. Two key factors in a relationship are trust and honesty. Without that, you really have nothing.
Another key factor is communication. Also, without that, you really have nothing.
Both of you need to come to an agreement- If it isn't worth fighting over, don't fight about it. You get a lot further civilly and maturely discussing problems and issues rather than having shouting matches. When you fight, you talk AT each other, not TO each other.
Talking AT each other means nobody is listening, and how can you solve the problem if nobody is listening?
ygs-29/f
]
Wow. I hope I can help on this one and you may or may not like what I have to say. Some people say that you dont know what love is a 16 or 17 but I disagree. I myself fell in love at 15, got married at 17, and now still happily married. Relationships have their ups and downs. But you two cheating on each other is not going to make your relationship a healthy relationship. First I would let him know that you did cheat on him because honesty is the best way to go. You dont want to have skeletons in your closet when he finds out about it in the long run. Second of all, relationships are not based on sex. Just so you know that. I dont think that it was right for you too to cheat on each other. That tells me that if you are really in love then you wouldnt cheat on each other. Another thing, in a relationship you cant depend on each other. As an adult, I can tell you that I think that you need some time to yourself. You need to become independent and dont depend on anyone but yourself. You need to think about the fact that you may not be together 2 or 3 years down the road. You need to become independent now so in the future you dont feel like you need someone to make you a person. The best luck to you and if you need anymore advice let me know.
]
More Questions: |