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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hello: I recently asked the below question, and only got one answer. But I thought I'd ask you, because (no offence intended) you are wiser because of your age. I also know - from reading your answers - that you have had a long working life. So if you could help, that would be really great. Thanks!
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I'm applying for an internship with a charity: they then put you with a leading politician for 9 months. It's great, because I've always wanted to do this, but a lack of money has always prevented me from doing so. This is paid, and so I'm trying to make my application perfect.
The problem is, how easily should I tell the truth? During my school years, I did the bare minimum to keep me going. I was literaly a straight B student. I got 1 A, and that was because my teacher pushed me. Even in that subject, I was 7 marks away from an A+. I asked my teacher, "Should I re-do it, and try and get the higher grade?" he replied "I don't care: You've gotten higher than the C you were predicted, and so It's really up to you because at least now the principle won't be breathing down my neck". Bad teaching, I know, but I decided to stick with the A. My science teacher also told me that if I just worked a little harder, I could get an A. I didn't listen, and stuck with my B.
In high school, I came out with mostly Cs and and a D. Again, I didn't really work as hard as I knew that I could.
Obviously I need to put my grades down, but should the explanation be "I was lazy, but I've changed". Because I believe I have. I've re-discovered my passion for learning, and regularly read old history and mathematics text books for pleasure. I've not had many jobs, but during my last one, the employer said that she had been doing her job for 13 years, and has never had an assistant as good as me. So yes, I believe I have changed, and I really enjoy working.
But should I say that I was lazy, and that I've now changed? Or will it put them off? I really need to stand out, because last year they received 30,000 applicants, and only selected 10.
Should I give them another reason for my poor grades? Any ideas?
Thanks, and apologies for it being so long.
Some of those details would have changed the way I answered you.
Good luck, hope you get the position.
I did see this question yesterday. I was about to respond to it when I read the advice given by the one responder and how you rated her advice.
The advice I was going to give was going to be very similar in that grades are not the most important thing to employers once you are out of school and have a work history. A verifiable work history is something that is important to an employer along with a High School and College Diploma. Your ratting said you didn't want to hear that.
No employer wants to hear excuses with the possible exception of an explanation for a break in you work history. Giving an employer a bunch of excuses tells more about you than you think. Saying I use to be this way but have now seen the error of my ways. Does not always come across as you may think it does. It may come across as, "I'm desperate, I know I need to change and I will change."
Frankly when I was interviewing and someone said that to me, that is what I heard. When they left, their application went in the reject pile. If you tried to put all that information on the application itself, in your resume or on a cover letter; you would never get to an interview.
Always tell the truth in an application for a job or anything else. It is to easy today to be trapped in a lie. When interviewing never volunteer anything unless your asked a question that is an open ended question such as; "Tell me about yourself." Then stick to generalizations and let the interviewer ask more specific question. There are times when to much information is harmful and this is one of them.
How do you stand out in a pile of 30,000 applications. You write and outstanding cover letter. They are not going to read 30,000 resumes' or applications. They will give a brief look at the brief cover letter that should accompany your application or cover letter.
You start by thanking them for the opportunity to apply for this position. Then in less than 150 to 200 words explain why you are both right for the position and how the position is right for you.
I am a young adult now. I am not independent. I dont know how to pay bills and how to live when i move out and live by myself. So, anyone please tell me what to do first when i move out? What all do you have to do and go before you move out? I wanna be independent. Is it very hard?
It would really help to know your age. Just saying you are a young adult is not enough insight to be truly helpful to you.
For instance there is a big difference in how things work in real life being 18 as opposed to being 21 or any where in between. For example a rental agreement. Some apartment companies will not rent to anyone under 21 without a parent co-signer for in many states you need to be 21 to enter into legal contracts. Again this depends on dependency on your parents as well; such as college students. Then someone who is 18 does not have a credit history or proven work history. All of this factors into to what you need to be independent. So knowing your age will help any of us give you a better answer.
If you would like me to answer you can private message me and I will give you my best advice.
So I kinda melted this cup I got from the circus 2 years ago and my grandparents paid like $9 for it. It was a complete accident but now I'm feeling really stupid and guilty about it. What can I do?
P.s. I can't get another one cause the circus has moved on to somewhere else.
Accidents do happen that is why the are called accidents. We put things in the microwave that shouldn't go in them and they melt. That happens a lot today as we expect everything to be microwave or oven safe.
I don't think your grandparents would be upset with you. As a grandparent myself I could not get upset over an accident. If you feel you need to apologize for melting the cup then that is up to you and would be a nice gesture. The cup was a gift to you, I see no need to offer to pay them back.
I am 18/F and I'm still a virgin, I know now a days that's "something to be proud of" and I should want to wait forthat right person and blah blah but I don't want to wait, it's not because of society, or peer pressure or else I would've already done it by now, but I want to have sex, I'm ready I just don't know how to accomplish this goal. I've only had one boyfriend when I was 16 and I wasnt ready then. What should I do so I can finally have sex?
I'm not going to tell you to wait until you find the man you will marry. You should be proud of yourself for waiting this long and since you have I believe you should wait and not rush into having sex for the purpose of having sex alone.
This is going to sound old fashion though I feel since you have waited this long you should wait until you meet someone who will make your first time special for you. You deserve to have a wonderful first time.Unfortunately many teenage boys your age even ones with experience are still into pleasuring themselves and not worrying about pleasing the girl. In fact it is all over almost before it starts with many teenage boys.
No I'm not telling you to find an older man. What I am suggesting is to trust your senses. You will now when you have found the right person to have your first sexual adventure with. You are going to give him a very precious gift and a thoughtful lover will understand this.
In the mean time you should get on birth control. Learn how a condom should be worn and make sure the boy wears one. while condoms do not stop all STDs it does prevent many. You should also ask the boy to have be tested and to show you the results before you give him this gift. If he refuses he is the wrong person to give your gift to.
I know I'm straddling a line between the old world and the new world but today that has to be done for your protection. After waiting this long you have the right to have an enjoyable experience. Ask your friends that had sex at an earlier age. IF they are truthful with you moist will tell you it wasn't very enjoyable. It was painful, and over very fast.
I probably have everything that a average guy shouldnt have.Im very shy,have low self respect and have always thought that life was not worth living.Even made a suicide 7 months ago.Have been feeling depressed for quite a long time,all because of my rather bad ug college life. Now im out of college for good and have got admission to do my masters. Im really looking forward to do my pg.Now the problem is that ,the feeling of worthlessness is coming back. Im still in a dilemma no matter how hard i try to get away from negative thoughts. I seriously want to change the way i have been all these years. Would also like to get advice on how to get out of being shy and talk in front of class and with women as i feel rather nervous when trying to talk with them.kindly advise
First things first is to have your depression properly diagnosed and treated. Low self-respect or self-esteem go hand in hand with depression. Shyness, I believe also is part of the depression cycle, although I doubt doctors will agree with me. You need to see your doctor and be screened for depression. Then follow the doctors advice. Talk therapy to get at the root cause of your depression is also advisable.
Stress both internal and external and environmental factors play a factor in depression. Finding the root cause of your depression will allow you to learn how to deal with it. Be it stress or other factor.
Being shy around women is sort of a right of passage for men, we all go through it. Some of us are better at swallowing this fear than others. This is something else that can be worked out in therapy as it probably plays into your depressive episodes.
Medication maybe required to help you recover from your depression. If so, generally it is only taken for a short period of time. The main help comes from talk therapy. You need to find a therapist you are comfortable in telling your deepest secrets to, trusting that those stay in the room they are spoken in. Nothing said in therapy ever leaves that room. If your not comfortable with your therapist you need to find one you are comfortable with.
I am 59 my mother died 20yrs ago my father remarried to someone we had know for years. TODAY i have received a nasty letter from father saying he doesn't want cards/phonecalls/visits, he is ashamed and disgusted with me and my sister because we never made and effort with his wife, when i lived local i would visit regular we even went to slimming club together yet he seems to have forgotten this. He has left orders that we are not to be contacted if he dies. His wife died Feb 2012 funeral was day before wedding anniversary, no one contacted us to let us know. DO I REPLY OR IGNORE HIS LETTER.
Your father sounds a lot like my father did before he passed away. I received several nasty letters from my father prior to his passing. In fact we never spoke or saw each other for over ten years right up to his death. But that was always the way my father punished me as a child. He was always right and until I accepted that fact he refused to talk to me.
Now my father did suffer, undiagnosed depression and possibly in the later stages of his life some dementia. It is possible that if the way your father is presently acting is totally out of character for him. Then dementia is a possibility. It is also very possible what your seeing is grief over the loss of his second wife.
Grief manifest itself in many ways, anger is just one of them and he is lashing out at those closest to him. I cannot tell you exactly what to to do but ignoring him is not what I would recommend. Ignoring his letters yes. It might be good to see if you and your sister can get him some grief counseling and to his doctor for a good check up as well.
My room never stays clean for more than 2 days. I want a friend over and my mom says my room has to be clean before anything happens. My mom also said if I get my room to stay clean for a week with a maximum of 5 things on the floor, I can get a mannequin for my fashion designing. I cant do this!!
Will you give me tips on how??!!
Keeping your room clean is actually easier than you think. It is just a matter of changing some bad habits you have gotten into.
Take a look around your room. What is the worst of the problem(s)? For me it was dirty clothes where ever I dropped them. First habit to change was to find one place in my room to change my clothes and put a laundry bag or basket there. I had a big walk in closet so that also became my dressing room.
My desk was my mothers next big problem. She really did not have much of a problem with school books but glasses, plates with leftover food and empty snack bags really caused her to get on me. This was the biggest and hardest problem to break as it required two things of me.
First I had to get up earlier to get dressed and ready for school. Then clean up all the glasses and plates and anything else on the desk and take them to the kitchen where I had to properly dispose of them.
These things took some time. I didn't develop the new habits over night but I was trying. Mom wasn't all that big on bed making except on weekends when the sheets where changed. Change the sheets, dust the room, vacuum the floor.
Once you get a system down you will be surprised that it really doesn't take but a few minutes to keep your room neat and presentable. Saturday cleaning also becomes less of a chore as the room is already 80% done.
Try it you may surprise yourself at how easy it actually is. It is easier to be neat than sloppy.
SORRY THIS IS LONG IN ADVANCE . Okay so I am a 14 year old girl & am going to the 9th grade . For most of my life I have these moments when I wake up and just am in a bad mood for absolutely no reason . I am no longer cutting & my friends are helping me with my drinking & drug problem . I know you're probably thinking what is a 14 year old doing that stuff for . Well to tell you the turth i do it to escape the real problem . I have a great boyfriend who supports me 100% & a lot of friends that to as well . I can go from laughing & havimg fun to a dark place where i just get a blank look on my face & anger , sadness,& hate just take over & i have no reason as to why , but i'd really like to get better for my friends & myself . When I tell my parents about it they just say that im acting . they know that i have cut before but i nnever went to therapy to talk to anyone about . & as much as i hate talking about my feelings i even asked them to send me to one so that i could get help . they fight all the time & take it out on me which make me grab the ciroc & the vodka & the knife . Please help me .
I'm someone old enough to be your grandfather but I'm not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. The other advisers have made some very astute observations that I support.
I also apologize for the fact that your parents are not paying attention to your cry for help, for that is what is happening. Acting out is a cry for help. You are probably depressed, possibly tied to the changes all children go through with puberty. Their is nothing new there except doctors now realize this and have ways of treating it. Where in the past it was called a phase.
Being 14 you now have legal standing in the U.S. for medical needs through a Federal Law called HIPPA. You do not need parental permission to see a doctor. If your parents do not have health insurance their are programs for children that will cover the cost of treatment.
HIPPA allows you to seek medical help and that medical help is confidential. Meaning no doctor can discuss it with anyone including your parents without your written permission.
What I would like you to do is go to the nearest hospital ER and ask to see a doctor. Tell the intake nurse what you have told us. They can't turn you away. Can't get to the hospital go to the nearest fire station. If the fire station is unmanned; on the front of the station is a call box with a direct line to the dispatcher. Use it to speak to the dispatcher and help will be sent to you. Can't get to a fire station either call 911 and help will be sent to you. They cannot be turned away by your parents they will not leave until they speak to you and assure themselves that you are not in need of medical attention.
My parents are getting harder to deal with. I'm 21 and would've left a long time ago but I have nowhere to go. In school, I always poured my heart into my studies b/c I knew edu. was the only way out for me. I got into the schools I wanted, but my Dad got a D.U.I. I had my license and was basically ordered to go to a local small college close to home for the family. I did it anyway to help Mom mostly, b/c she's clinically depressed and on some psychiatric meds. They look at it as something I had to do when I just did it for them so things could stay afloat. It hurt to give up those schools but I did. My Dad is an alcoholic with abusive tendencies. We fight to blows sometimes (I'm a girl)when he feels that he's lost control. He builds up my Mom and I both, only to tear us down. My Mom isn't insane but she's not exceedingly well; she can function on her own but she wants me to stay. She says I'm spiteful because I want a life of my own. I just feel like I can never do anything. I know what I want to be; I know what I want to try to do but I can't even do that. I'm scared to leave but trapped in the same stupid cycle that's so stagant that it's like a slow death. Would it be right for me to leave, or should I stay? Am I really being selfish?
You are 21, legally an adult now and entitled to your own life. While there are some who may say that ethically you owe you parents for everything they did for you while they raised you, that is not true.
Fact is no child asks to be brought into this world. Parents bring children into this world for their own reasons. For that reason the are required to raise them to adulthood and then let them make their way in the world. At this point many parents become the back stop for their children. Meaning they are their for them if they are needed, but they let them have their own lives.
No it is not selfish of you to want to have your own life, to experience life as it should be for you. To have a husband and children of your own if that is what you want. TO have a career to experience all you have prepared for.
I might suggest that since dad is an alcoholic that you take mom and yourself to an Al-Anon meeting. Al-Anon is a group of people like yourself who live with alcoholics they were formed to help each other with problems of living, now, people with dependencies. The following is the URL for their website through which you can find a local meeting and more about them http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/.
I am recommending you take mom to an Al-anon meeting for two reason. First I think it will do you both good to speak to others who have the same problems and hear how they handle them. Second, I feel you will feel better about moving on with your life if you give your mother something or someone else to lean on.
You are not spiteful for wanting a life of your own. You are entitled to a life of your own, we all are. There is no law and nothing is written were a parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. If a parent can function on their own than it is up to the child(ren) as to how much support they wish to provide.
15/f. theres like very tiny bumps on my neck. usually you couldnt really feel them but their in a cluster so i can feel them but you cant see them really because their my skin color. unless you pop them only a little blood comes out and a very, very tiny amount of a skin in a ball shape comes out. no puss no nothing just that stuff. i have no idea what it is. my mom wont take me to the dermatologist becasuse we have no money and no health insurance. she just thinks it will go away evetually or/and its because i eat too much junk food. ive used acne medicine from doctors like epiduo, and other creams from doctors when i used to have acne. this is different. its skin colored so you cant see it that much but you can feel it.and their really annoying me!! i cant stop popping them on my face because they will no go away. i never ever get acne on my face, non the less my neck??? im not on my period i dont even breakout when im on my period, and i just ended it. so now it looks like i have freaken acne that i popped aghhhhh and its not i researched like tiny bumps and i have no idea. i use an exfoliator, a deep clean cleansing face wash from nutregena in the shower and those creams and i\'ve used benzol peroxide so i honestly dont know what to do. ill stop popping if i get something that will make them go down. adviceee! thanks so much ps i eat healthy too i dont even eat that much junk food, my mom makes us eat pretty healthy and im working out and i wanna eat healthy. im skinny but i wanna eat healthy too.
I can't tell you what they are as I am not a doctor. Also I can't see them and without seeing them I can't tell either.
Pimples will usually ooze puss not blood so that is something that worries me a bit. Making me think they may be something other than pimples. It is possible but unlikely that they are ingrown hairs but women generally do not suffer from them as much as men do.
The fact that they hurt says you need to see a doctor. The fact that your parents have no health insurance and cannot afford to take you to a doctor tells me you would most likely qualify for a federally funded program to insure children's health care.
To take advantage of this program you would have to go to a participating clinic or hospital ER. At 15 years of age you can do so without parental permission. I would suggest before going you call the clinic or ER and ask about the program to see if you qualify.
my mom read my journal thaat my therapist told me to write becouse i have depressin and anxiety constantly she acts like she nows everything now and i dont know what to do and i am having trouble trusting her or anybody
I'm sorry your mom read your Journal she should not have as it is part of your therapy and therapy is private and confidential between you and your therapist. Either mom does not understand how important this is. That what is spoken in therapy remains in therapy; or she feels she needs to know or has the right to know what is happening in therapy. That is very wrong of her on both counts.
Whatever is the problem she needs to know that the road to your recovery starts with trust that what happens in therapy stays in therapy. If you are over a particular age and this varies, but since mom read your Journal I'm guessing your therapist is only generalizing to her about your depression, meaning your privacy is protected by law; Which is okay to do as long as nothing specific to your session is said. For that your written permission is needed.
I have two suggestions to make.
1. Tell your therapist about mom reading your Journal and how it makes you feel. It is important for you to do this and to tell your therapist how violated you are feeling,the loss of trust and the anxiety you are know feeling over it. Then ask your therapist to speak with your mother about this and how it has affected your recovery. It has had to effect your recovery it would have effect mine when I was recovering from depression.
Neither my wife or my adult son ever asked questions about my therapy session other than to ask how my therapist was. If I spoke about my therapy they listened. If they asked a question and I chose not to answer it they did not harp on the question.
My depression is in remission now and I work hard to keep it there. So I do know how this violation of your privacy has hurt you and I am truly sorry this has happened. Please talk to your therapist about it.
2. Purchase if you can a strong box large enough to hold your Journal, it should have a combination lock and not a key lock. Keep your Journal in the strong box at all times when not writing in it. A combination lock makes it that much harder for anyone other than you to access your Journal. Keep your strong box hidden as best you can. Doing this will hopefully place your confidence back in keeping up with your Journal without mom or anyone else reading it. It is important to keep writing your Journal as your therapist has requested.
Again I am sorry this has happened to you but don't let it interfere with your recovery. Those who have never suffered from depression do not know how scary it can be. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Work with your therapist and the light will get to you.
hi im 12/f, am i stupid ?? ok so for the past few days all i hav been thinkin about is that i think ppl tht r waaaayy to young are thinkin about adult things(and u no wat i mean) but i think its bc their parents dont really hav a connection with their children which is y they do what they want..... now im confused is this a stupid thing to think or is it all in my head?????????????? thanks:)!!
No your not stupid; you're actually very smart for posing this question.
The problem with why young people as you are thinking is really a problem with society and not their parents. Children are bombarded with sex and sexy everywhere they turn. It is on TV, at the movies, in the magazines they read and the music they listen too.
Then of course there is the older brother or sister that all younger children what to be like. They are not totally understanding or mature enough, to follow in the foot steps of the older siblings.
Many parents try to hide or shield their children from all this and let them be children for as long as possible. Unfortunately the world is against their efforts. Short of locking their children in their rooms, which would be illegal, they can't shield them from everything. The best a parent can do is try to have open and frank communications with their children about everything including sex.
The human animal is naturally inquisitive, children more so than adults. Unanswered questions gnaw at us until we find an answer. It is my feeling that parents who don't communicate well with their children are the parents you are concerned with and you would be right in your assumption.
Hopefully you have good communication with your parents. If you don't then try to open the line of communication. If you can't try with another adult relative; an Aunt or Grandparent. Getting information off the street, as in from a friend,, is often wrong and that's where children go wrong.
No you are not stupid and this was not a stupid question.
Scratchy throat, coughing from inhaling bleach and ammonia?
Today My mom and I were cleaning. We used bleach and ammonia. The smell was very strong. It made us cough. My mom & I both have dry throats now and she puked. We are still coughing and are throats are still dry and uncomfortable What can we do about this? will it go away
Combining bleach and ammonia should never be done as the fumes are very toxic and considered hazardous. I suggest you either go to the nearest emergency room or call 911 for help.
My boyfriend is a US Marine, therefore i barely see him. He was here for the past week, and we had sex up to 5 times every single day, extremely rough sex too. He left 2 days ago, and i realized that i have a very bad cut on my inner labia, its a tear. When i looked down today with a mirror, i realized i had all these small, skin colored bumps that are sensitive to the touch. My vulva is also really swollen. I've also been shaving every single day since he's been here, and theres been a lot of rough grinding and whatnot. He told me he gets STD screens often, and he's clean. And i got a pap smear about a month ago, and the gyno said everything looked normal. I read online that it could be blisters from really rough sex, or could this be herpes? help please!!
Anything and everything is possible. We are not doctors and even if we were we cannot examine over the web.
The safest and the best thing for you to do is to make an urgent appointment with your GYN and to be examined and treated for whatever he or she finds. If you are sore and blistered from rough sex then you will know better for the next time. If you have contracted and STD you will also know better as to what or what not to do next time your boyfriend, if he remains your boyfriend is home. The doctor will also want to do an HIV/AIDS screening. Let the doctor do so. Better safe than sorry.
Im a very nice young adult female.Single and never been in a relationship. Sorry to say this if it affect anyone who is married. But i am so annoyed to see poeple get marry so young and so fast these days. And make alot of babies and then get divorce. And this is about close to 100 percent seriously. Can anyone please tell me why everyone so rush in marriage and get divorce later? Is this how it works in this world? Does everyone have the same mind and feeling? It is just so crazy. Im still patiently wait for my true love. Oh wait. Another question is: Is true love real??? O dear
It does seem that way doesn't it.
I can't tell you why people marry and divorce so easily other than the fact that we seem to live in a throw away society. If we don't like something we don't seem to want to take the time to make it right or fix it; we just throw it away. We are doing the same with marriages.
I live in a town that is just 40 years old. The town is still trying to grow its roots. The children from here come from homes where as many as 3 out of 5 of them are single parent homes.
I'm sure psychologists and sociologists can come up with reasons why things are this way. I believe that whatever they come up with would just be a bunch of malarkey. The fact is we just don't put value on anything today. When we had values and put value on things we worked to fix things and work out problems. Today we walk away from them.
We also live in a world of instant justification and gratification. We want everything now and yesterday. We are unwilling to wait or to try something before we buy it. We run in, we grab it off the shelf bring it home and then find out it is not what we want so we throw it away or return it.
During the Vietnam conflict I was a maintenance supervisor in the Air Force, a SSGT. I once made a electronics tech repair one of the black boxes needed for a radar system on a C141. He got pissed at me as this was not the way things worked. He wanted to ground the aircraft until one could be flown in from the states, something that would take up to 24 hrs. I needed the plane in the air and I outranked him so I gave him the order to repair the box and fix the radar system. It took 4 hrs and I got the plane back in the Air.
I told you this story to show you what is happening today started a long time ago. We are all in a rush to get someplace or to let someone else worry or do what needs to be done. Yet we really have no idea where we want to go. We all long for the simpler times yet we are unwilling to go back to them. To throw away are smart phone, are Ipads, computers, CNN, MSNBC and the like.
ok so my friend is 12 (im 13 we're like 3 months apart) and today she was going on about how this boy, lets call him O and her D, wants to have sex with her. you know what? here's the REAL conversation.
D:omg O wants to have sex with me!!
me: but eww you guys r too young and noones gonna sell condoms to you guys!
D: O has pulls, duh.
me: no D its a really bad idea youll be known as a slut.
D: WHO CARES ive liked him for 5 yrs.
me: so? you arent even dating him!!!!
D:what ever you dont get it.
me: yeah i do.
D: at least ive had a one night stand.
i havent replied to her yet but i dont want her to screw up :( i want to email it to her parents soo bad but i dont know what to do. and i really want to reply, THATS NOT A GOOD THING. i think you are screwing up your life and i swear ,D if you do have sex i think ill just breakdown because i just cant deal with the fact that one of my friendds has had sex 1. because your gonna screw up your reputaion and your gonna get in trouble for sure.
2.i cant let you.
First: You are right to look out for your friend this way. Instead of you going to her parents I might suggest that you have a talk with your mom and let your mom have a talk with her mom. That does two things. It lets your mom approach her mother which is better and it keeps you out of the middle which also allows you to tell your friend you didn't tell her mom anything.
Next at this age much of this about sex is more talk then action. One or both of them will back out. The talk is more to boast that they did something you haven't to try and get you to do something you don't want to do.
Then their is the possibility that even if they try they will not be able to have sex for physical reasons. They are really to young and their bodies are not ready yet. Her vagina may not yet accept his penis. He may not be able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate a vagina. This all depends on where they each are in puberty.
Now it is possible that they can and they will have sex. It will be painful for her and if she is lucky she won't get pregnant. They are both under the age of consent so the law doesn't play a big part in this. Depending on the state the worst that can happen is they are charged as juveniles with some form of juvenile mischief.
My best advice is to talk to your mom and let your mom talk to her mom. Yes this is about sex but not about you so you should not be embarrassed to talk to you mom. You are doing a good thing in trying to save your friend from making a big mistake.
My girlfriend wants to have sex and I don't know how to have sex with another girl. I need like serious advice!!!
I question whether you are really a lesbian or not. If you have never had sex with another girl or with a boy how do you know just what your sexuality is.
Young people, I am assuming that you are with in that age group of 12 to 18, are generally confused about their sexuality. It is not unusual to think they want sex with someone of their own sex or in love with someone of their own sex. Many young people, this means boys and girls, experiment sexually with in their own sex feeling more comfortable doing so. Also parents are more comfortable with children of the same sex being alone together behind closed doors then children of opposite sexes.
For this reason I advise against putting a label on sexuality until you have gone through the experimentation stage. Does this mean you must have sex with both boys and girls to know for sure. Only you can answer that question for certain.
One thing I can say for certain is in college I knew women who today are wives and mothers that were almost totally lesbians in college. Why? Well lesbian sex was more readily available and it was safer. Once out of college and on their own they need not worry as much about accidental pregnancy as they were ready for being a wife and mother.
Do yourself a favor don't label your sexuality just yet. As to your question? Everyone has a first time for everything. If this is the first time for both of you then you just experiment and do what feels good. If she has done it before let her lead and teach you.
My boyfriend is trying to do abusive sex to me, And it's painful. He's always whipping me when im working at home. I can't stand it. But he's a tough man so i don't want him hurting me if i dump him. He tried to kill my dad once. Help me!!
Call the police.
Sorry for the original answer being so short, I was working with my Ipad and it is hard to type on.
If everything you have written is true, and I'm not saying it isn't then really the only thing, the right thing to do is to call the police and file charges.
If by whipping you do you mean spanking you or do you mean actually using a belt to whip you? Either way this is an assault on you even if it is in the form of sex play if you are not consenting to it. If you are under the age of consent in your state it is not only assault it is rape, statutory rape as you are legally not able to consent to sex by law.
By filing charges with the police and having him arrested he can't hurt you. You also file for a restraining order which is a court order that tells him to stay away from you or he goes to jail even if he is out on bail.
So pick up the phone dial 911 and ask for the police to come to your home. He can't send them away. They need to speak to you and see you to make sure you're safe before they can leave. If he has been hurting you and you are marked up by his beatings they will arrest him. If he has forced you to have sex with him this is the time to charge him with rape.
Their is also an organization that you should call once he is in custody. They are called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abused, Incest, National Network. The volunteers who answer their hotline, which is available 24/7 will help you find people in your home town to help you get through this and get your life back in order. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE
The person i love is going to university while i'm going to get a job its the last day and i don't want him to go so i need advice on how to tell him i love him before its to late and he doesn't know. Thanks,
The best way is straight out.
I'm a lesbian and 15 and I'm hanging out with my friend tomorrow. Should I come out to her and tell her because I have the urge to tell my friends and my parents already know and they're ok with me but I've never told any of my friends yet and I have this huge urge to. My parentes are just nervous for me to tell People blecaute of how homophobic People are. Should i come out?
I am going to advice against telling your friends for two reasons.
First: There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian but you are still in High School. High School students, even so called friends, can easily turn on you in a very vicious way. Why expose yourself to this when you don't have to. If asked why you are not dating you can always say you are concentrating on school. It is a valid reason that many young girls and boys have for not dating.
Second: I deplore putting labels on anyone for any reason at your age. Yes you are 15 and well on your way to figuring out who you are. This would include your sexuality. But you have not matured enough to the point that anything is finalized. You just may be a lesbian or you may find that you are bi.
Right now lesbian sex is safer therefore more satisfying since there is no fear of pregnancy. Other girls know more of how to satisfy another girl than boys do. Sex with a boy at this age is very one sided. The boy for the most part is all hands. Interested in satisfying himself and generally has no control. He has no sense of foreplay and the whole act is over with in less time than it took you to read this. So lesbian sex can and generally is more satisfying.
It may be that some time in the future you may find sex with a boy just as satisfying. When I was in college I knew girls that were mostly lesbians or had mostly lesbian sex. Why? It was safer and more readily available. Today those women are wives and mothers and for the most part would not think of having sex with another women.
For this reason I don't like putting labels on anyone. Once you label yourself it is very hard and awkward to change that label. Also I don't want you being hurt by the kids in school who will feel that you are strange. This is unfortunate but this is what many are taught at home and in church, which I personally believe is wrong. I can't change them but I can advice you on how to protect yourself and for now my advice is to stay in the closet about your sexuality.