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Am I Bipolar or do I have Depression Disorder or both ???
SORRY THIS IS LONG IN ADVANCE . Okay so I am a 14 year old girl & am going to the 9th grade . For most of my life I have these moments when I wake up and just am in a bad mood for absolutely no reason . I am no longer cutting & my friends are helping me with my drinking & drug problem . I know you're probably thinking what is a 14 year old doing that stuff for . Well to tell you the turth i do it to escape the real problem . I have a great boyfriend who supports me 100% & a lot of friends that to as well . I can go from laughing & havimg fun to a dark place where i just get a blank look on my face & anger , sadness,& hate just take over & i have no reason as to why , but i'd really like to get better for my friends & myself . When I tell my parents about it they just say that im acting . they know that i have cut before but i nnever went to therapy to talk to anyone about . & as much as i hate talking about my feelings i even asked them to send me to one so that i could get help . they fight all the time & take it out on me which make me grab the ciroc & the vodka & the knife . Please help me .
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm someone old enough to be your grandfather but I'm not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. The other advisers have made some very astute observations that I support.
I also apologize for the fact that your parents are not paying attention to your cry for help, for that is what is happening. Acting out is a cry for help. You are probably depressed, possibly tied to the changes all children go through with puberty. Their is nothing new there except doctors now realize this and have ways of treating it. Where in the past it was called a phase.
Being 14 you now have legal standing in the U.S. for medical needs through a Federal Law called HIPPA. You do not need parental permission to see a doctor. If your parents do not have health insurance their are programs for children that will cover the cost of treatment.
HIPPA allows you to seek medical help and that medical help is confidential. Meaning no doctor can discuss it with anyone including your parents without your written permission.
What I would like you to do is go to the nearest hospital ER and ask to see a doctor. Tell the intake nurse what you have told us. They can't turn you away. Can't get to the hospital go to the nearest fire station. If the fire station is unmanned; on the front of the station is a call box with a direct line to the dispatcher. Use it to speak to the dispatcher and help will be sent to you. Can't get to a fire station either call 911 and help will be sent to you. They cannot be turned away by your parents they will not leave until they speak to you and assure themselves that you are not in need of medical attention.
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I'm bipolar myself. I'm not a doctor but this disorder usually takes your life and puts your brain into warp speed. In a sense it backfires and you cannot make logical connections in your head with thought. It also gives you up and down rapid cycling mood swings.
Unless you are seeing that which isn't there, hearing voices, having non-stop rapid thought, like a freight train and delusions or feeling omnipresent or in control of the universe etc etc. odds are you aren't bipolar or in a state of mania.
You probably are depressed or have a different mental illness that is actually driving the addictions that you have, moods and desire to self-harm. That's KEY to figure that out by seeing a psychiatrist not a therapist (vast difference) and getting it treated.
Your parents baffle me to be honest and pis me off on another level. They should KNOW how serious this addiction, self-mutilation and dark thinking is and that you need help not scorn.
What you NEED to do is find an adult you can trust be it a teacher, counselor, friend's parents, relative, coach or whomever and tell them the problems you have, that you're scared and really want professional help but that your parents think it's an "act" They'll get you the help trust me and deal with your parents so that they get that you aren't. After all an "actor" would NEVER go to the length you unfortunately have to if they weren't thinking they were in legit trouble. Also--show them this site and that you wrote this. That should speak loud and clear for you.
Also, you can legally see any doctor you wish or go to an ER for any reason at 14 in Canada or U.S. to my understanding and tell them what's going on with your thinking, self-harm, addictions and deep, dark thinking and mood swings and ask for peace of mind for a psychiatrist to assess and treat you if need be. They can get your parents on your side as believe me this kind of thing and inability to function is an emergency room thing.
In a case like this keep telling adults or anyone who you think can get you help this until someone gets you professional help.
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It's very tough being a teenager, but what you're going through seems to be more than that. You are very smart to realize that you need to get help, and you are brave to stop cutting. I know how hard that is. It's not fair that you should have to live under such terrible circumstances. We're not doctors, so we can't tell you if you're bipolar. I am bipolar, and even though I had a feeling for a long time that I had the illness, I couldn't know for sure until I was diagnosed. I suggest you go see a psychiatrist, and describe to him what you just described here. You should definitely go see a therapist. The right therapist can change your life. Sit down with your parents, and explain to them that this is for real, and you desperately need to go see someone. If they don't listen to you, talk to an adult you trust about your situation.
I sincerely hope you feel better soon, and your life is great again. You deserve to be happy. Good luck :)
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For a 14 year old girl, that's a lot to take in. I'm 17 and I know how hard high school gets to be. Drinking, smoking, and cutting yourself is not going to solve your problems. If anything, it's going to encourage them. I too have times where I can be fun and wonderful to be around and then there's these moments where I wake up and I don't feel like that girl anymore. It has to do a lot with maturing. Our bodies do weird things and our brain makes us feel things that we don't want to feel. I know how it is when parents fight, my do a lot. But you know how I escape it? Sometimes, I'll listen to music...it's always my best escape. I like to drown myself in beautiful music. And for the therapist thing, the best therapist is your best friend. I know it may be hard to tell your best friend, or even your boyfriend, about how you feel and what's going on but your friends are there to support you and be there for you and to listen to you. they won't judge you but they rather they will help you. Don't let life's obstacles get in the way. And don't take it out on your body by drinking, smoking, and cutting yourself. A quote I live by every day and I hope it helps you is this, "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." Stay strong.
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