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Wanting to start a new life
I probably have everything that a average guy shouldnt have.Im very shy,have low self respect and have always thought that life was not worth living.Even made a suicide 7 months ago.Have been feeling depressed for quite a long time,all because of my rather bad ug college life. Now im out of college for good and have got admission to do my masters. Im really looking forward to do my pg.Now the problem is that ,the feeling of worthlessness is coming back. Im still in a dilemma no matter how hard i try to get away from negative thoughts. I seriously want to change the way i have been all these years. Would also like to get advice on how to get out of being shy and talk in front of class and with women as i feel rather nervous when trying to talk with them.kindly advise
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I'll call you shy guy, but hey i was shy too. I was always nervous i even bite my nails . But listen you can overcome this i hung with people who were loud and outgoing they opened me right up . But what i'm saying is this you shall overcome you shouldn't care what anyone thinks go do something fun and be head of the crowd . Seriously though i still am shy not so much as before but i still get shy when trying to talk to women . But think of it like this she can only say no its a million other women and any woman would like you for who you are . So just because you're shy doesn't mean you aren't areal man because a man who isn't real wouldn't have admit this. I think you should respect yourself more and that should be your main focus at this moment because if you don't respect yourself who will respect you ? & suicide ? i don't like things like that ! god gave you this life, well if you don't believe in god than you were given this life for a reason not just to take something so precious away. Look suicide is not the answer really, there are people who life is taken away so learn to appreciate yours !!!!!!!!!!!!
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getting over shyness is hard and getting over depression is harder. go see a doctor and get on some meds. accept yourself and negative thoughts would never bother you again. acceptance is the hardest of the three.
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First things first is to have your depression properly diagnosed and treated. Low self-respect or self-esteem go hand in hand with depression. Shyness, I believe also is part of the depression cycle, although I doubt doctors will agree with me. You need to see your doctor and be screened for depression. Then follow the doctors advice. Talk therapy to get at the root cause of your depression is also advisable.
Stress both internal and external and environmental factors play a factor in depression. Finding the root cause of your depression will allow you to learn how to deal with it. Be it stress or other factor.
Being shy around women is sort of a right of passage for men, we all go through it. Some of us are better at swallowing this fear than others. This is something else that can be worked out in therapy as it probably plays into your depressive episodes.
Medication maybe required to help you recover from your depression. If so, generally it is only taken for a short period of time. The main help comes from talk therapy. You need to find a therapist you are comfortable in telling your deepest secrets to, trusting that those stay in the room they are spoken in. Nothing said in therapy ever leaves that room. If your not comfortable with your therapist you need to find one you are comfortable with.
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I don't know if this will work for you but sit down and think about everyting you have done in your life! Getting your masters is a great accomplishment and I'm sure you have done other great things! Sometimes it is hard to look at the positive, but the way I see it, if I wake up in the morning and my family is there and my heart is still beating that is more than enough reason to go on! Go to the gym and work out. This could help boost your confidence. Talking to girls is a difficult thing for a lot of guys! You aren't the only one! Find a girl that you like, or just would be fun to talk to and strike a conversation with her. What is the worst thing that could happen? If you guys talk and get along, great! Turn everything into a positive thought, it will be hard for a while, but after that you will find yourself thinking positively all the time! It may sound crazy but it works! Life is a wonderful thing and it is too short to be thinking the way you are! Hope this helped and good luck(:
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Going back for your masters? That isn't something you should be feeling worthless about. You have a goal in life, which is pretty damned cool honestly. Hell, I'd kill to be able to get into college, but as things are, bah! I'll just have to keep working my bum off until I can afford it ;p As for being shy, it's difficult.. Believe me, I know. It's really hard being sociable. I never know what to say, most of the time, I don't even know what in the world that they are talking about, it's really embarrassing for me lol, but I found, that having friends with me when I'm hanging out with anyone, especially new people >.<, makes it a little more simple. As for speaking in front of class, When I was in high school, I would generally just focus on the paper I had to read, I would just completely block everyone else out, and focus on reading whatever I was forced to read. If I was nervous, I would mentally put myself somewhere else, somewhere that I usually felt calm, and breath. Also, You don't get to live the same life twice! Don't give up on it so easily. It's sad enough that it's as short as it is, so keep running forward without looking back, if any obstacles get in your way, break them down and give em hell! ;] Life's a battle, be strong, and keep fighting. ~Fight-O!
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