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Should I tell her I am a lesbian?
I'm a lesbian and 15 and I'm hanging out with my friend tomorrow. Should I come out to her and tell her because I have the urge to tell my friends and my parents already know and they're ok with me but I've never told any of my friends yet and I have this huge urge to. My parentes are just nervous for me to tell People blecaute of how homophobic People are. Should i come out?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I am going to advice against telling your friends for two reasons.
First: There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian but you are still in High School. High School students, even so called friends, can easily turn on you in a very vicious way. Why expose yourself to this when you don't have to. If asked why you are not dating you can always say you are concentrating on school. It is a valid reason that many young girls and boys have for not dating.
Second: I deplore putting labels on anyone for any reason at your age. Yes you are 15 and well on your way to figuring out who you are. This would include your sexuality. But you have not matured enough to the point that anything is finalized. You just may be a lesbian or you may find that you are bi.
Right now lesbian sex is safer therefore more satisfying since there is no fear of pregnancy. Other girls know more of how to satisfy another girl than boys do. Sex with a boy at this age is very one sided. The boy for the most part is all hands. Interested in satisfying himself and generally has no control. He has no sense of foreplay and the whole act is over with in less time than it took you to read this. So lesbian sex can and generally is more satisfying.
It may be that some time in the future you may find sex with a boy just as satisfying. When I was in college I knew girls that were mostly lesbians or had mostly lesbian sex. Why? It was safer and more readily available. Today those women are wives and mothers and for the most part would not think of having sex with another women.
For this reason I don't like putting labels on anyone. Once you label yourself it is very hard and awkward to change that label. Also I don't want you being hurt by the kids in school who will feel that you are strange. This is unfortunate but this is what many are taught at home and in church, which I personally believe is wrong. I can't change them but I can advice you on how to protect yourself and for now my advice is to stay in the closet about your sexuality.
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Hello.You said it yourself,she's your friend and you have the urge to tell her,so tell her.If she's really your friend,then she will accept you the way you are.You should never pretend to be somebody you're not,especially infront of your friends.So go out,have a fun day,and after you guys have bonded and had fun,tell her that you're a lesbian,and how you feel,just let everything out,and I'm sure she will be an understanding friend.Just don't be afraid what people are ganna think,there are always ganna be haters and people will always judge us,but we have to be strong and fight,no matter how hard it is.With the people you love supporting you,and your confidence of who you are and what you want,nobody can put you down.So be proud of who you are,and don't ever change for anyone.Goodluck.
A.I
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You should tell her and be 100% honest about it you are who you re and you shouldn't be ashamed of it (: if shes a true friend she will stay by your side no matter what. But if she doesn't take it to well remember there's alot more girls in the world who will accept you for you hopefully this helps you (:
~Kennaloo~
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