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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Hi i'm 19 years old and my dad has cancer in his liver. i dont knno what to do and i feel hopeless as if he is going to die any minute. I dont live with him, he lives in his house all alone and im scared to death if he suddenly passes out and i could never live with myself knowing that I couldve done something about it to save him. What am I supposed to do? He is for some reason happy and at peace with himself and i dont wanna ruin it by talking to him about my concerns. I feel like there is something I can do to help him but I just dont know what it is. please help me out. I dont know if I can live without him.
I don't know if this will help as I don't know just what your fathers condition is or where you live. There are times that where you live plays a large part in what doctors are able to do for a patient.
I watched the last episode this week of NyMed on ABC TV network. If you go online you should be able to view the episode which I am suggesting you do. In this show a doctor removed a cancerous liver, removed the tumors and a potion of the liver then replanted the liver back into the patient. They called it a same patient transplant.
It was dangerous and if it didn't work the patient would die sooner than expect. In the case shown the patient lived.
What I am suggesting is you watch the show on line. Get the name of the doctor and the hospital he works at. Then contact him with the information you have about your dads condition to see if he is willing to take your father's case.
If the doctor is willing then talk to your dad to see if he is willing to give this a try. The next thing after, if dad agrees, would be to forward all the tests and scans there are, to the doctor in NY so he can make an evaluation. If he feels he can help and wants to move forward then you would need to go to New York for the doctor to examine your father and hopefully preform the surgery.
This by all accounts is a long shot. It is also a glimmer of hope for you and your dad to look into. As I said doctors and their abilities to do things are limited at times by the abilities of the hospitals where you live and their ability and time to to learn new techniques.
The program that aired this week was filmed two years ago and the patient was still alive when they interviewed him for the airing of the show. This is not a promise of help or even a cure. Only a suggestion of something to look into as an alternative to what is now.
Hi, im a 19 year old girl, i been with these guy for a year, as a couple. But i know him since i was born, we were raised together. His 24 years old. Im also 37 weeks pregnant. We been living together for 6 months. The problem is, that i want to leave him but i dont know how. Im tired of everything. He spends the whole day critizing me and humiliating me. He berly touches me. He is not romantic, he doesnt even pay for my stuff when we go out. I have to pay for my part. He ignores me when ever he wants. And he thinks im his freaking maide. Point blank he treats me like shit. Theres nothing good i can say about him. He blames me for every little thing even if is not related to me. He berly shows any affection with me being pregnant. The only thing he cares is himself, his friends, his car, and the gym. We are not included. I dont even know if he loves me still. I see that we fight more then were happy. The sex sucks, it always had, he only thinks about him selfs. How can i leave him? Or what should i do? Im 3 weeks before giving birth.
I'm not sure if you are asking for help in making the decision to leave him or asking for help in leaving him. I'll error on the side of caution and go with the second thought first.
If you need help in leaving him and fear he might harm you after you leave or while you attempt to leave. Check and see if there is a "House of Ruth" in your area. This organization can and will help you with leaving him safely as well as helping you with the legal paperwork to ensure he does right in his support of his child.
If there is no House of Ruth then call this hotline number: 1-800-799-SAFE. It is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Their web address is: http://www.thehotline.org/. While he may not be physically harming you you are experiencing some form of mental abuse so call them if you need to.
Now as to my first thought as to what you are asking. It would not be right for me to advice you on one way or the other. This is a question only you can answer. You Know what you are living with. You have a greater insight to how things may be when the baby arrives. Based on your knowledge of him and what your gut is telling you is how you should decide what to do.
Your 19, I would assume you have family. I know how hard it is to admit that you made a mistake. I am also a parent and I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I feel and I truly believe no matter what may have been said between you and your parents in the past. No matter how hurtful it may have been. If you call home and say daddy this has been a big mistake I need to come home, can I please come home until I can get my life together.
My belief is that your dad will melt right there on the spot and either come and get you or make arrangements for you to come to him and your mother safely. There is one thing about dads and daughters that some times a daughter takes awhile to learn. With dads and their a son. A son is a son until he proves himself a man. A daughter will always be daddy's little girl even when she is all grown up and has a family of her own. Meaning dads are always super protective of their daughters and if you call and ask for help no matter what has transpired in the past; I believe dad will be their for you.
I hope I have helped.
As my marriage is breaking up around me,I've pleaded and begged,but no-ones listening,I've got 6 small children ,I feel like ending it and leaving them all to enjoy there life with their mother,I'm 47, I had everything,bus,house,holiday home,financially stable,don't owe nothing,yet the most valuable thing I have,I'm losing like water running through my hands,
It just seems the only way out.........
I'm based uk.
Being from the colonies as you all refer to us in the States I'm not sure how things work there, especially the phone system. Below is a Suicide Prevention Hotline I found which I would like you to call. I copied all the numbers they gave and the web address so you could chose the best way to contact them.
United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samaritans UK & ROI
National
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - E-mail:
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
Website: samaritans.org
I do not know much about this organization though if it is like the one we have here in the states. The hotline will be answered by professionals who will talk with you and help you find people near you that can help you.
Suicide is not the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Divorce is a temporary problem no mater what the cause is. Marriage counseling can derail the course of the divorce. If you have not given counseling a try I suggest you do so. Even if it means you do so alone should your wife refuse.
The one thing I am absolutely certain of is this: Whatever is wrong between you and your wife is between you and your wife, not you and your 6 young children. They need their father and you will be doing them a great deal of harm and injustice if you kill yourself.
I realize how hurt you must feel and you have I'm sure every reason to be hurt. The hurt will pass with time and you will move on with your life, enjoying watching your children grow into responsible adults that you will teach them to be. If one or more of the 6 is a daughter you can look forward to walking her/them down the aisle at her/their wedding(s). Also with 6 children there will be a large number of grandchildren that will need poppy or grandpa around to teach them things that dad may be to busy to teach them.
You have a lot to live for my friend, and you are my friend. So please call the hotline, seek out a counselor to help you through this and enjoy watching your children grow.
I'd like to know how to get rid of negative thoughts.I'm thinking all the time about dying,I'm young and healthy,but I'm not happy,I don't know what to do.Any help?I've tried therapy but it didn't work.
It is not that therapy didn't work. It is more that you and the therapist didn't work. I speak from experience on this.
Therapy by nature is a very personal experience which requires a great deal of trust in the therapist by the patient. I'm fairly certain the problem you experienced was in the area of trust.
For therapy to work you must trust your therapist to the point you can share your deepest and darkest secrets. If that trust isn't there therapy cannot work. You haven't said how old you are or were the last time you tried therapy.
Therapy is confidential. Meaning your therapist will never tell your parents what was said in therapy or anyone else. They can't your privacy is protected by law. No judge can order a therapist to violate your privacy. This is so that the therapist can gain your trust and properly treat you.
If the therapist explained this to you at the time; is it possible you were to young to understand? Is it possible you were seen by a child therapist and maybe an adolescent therapist would have been better?
You need to get back into therapy to rid yourself of these thoughts. If you are old enough to choose your own therapist then do so and if you are not comfortable with your first choice find another until you find one you are comfortable with. I went through 3 before I found the therapist I am comfortable with.
If mom and dad are choosing your therapist then tell them you are not comfortable with the one they chose. If need be show then this portion of my answer about being comfortable or have them private message me. I would be more than willing to help them understand how important you be comfortable with the therapist. They may be choosing your therapist based on their comfort which does not work for you and is the wrong way to chose a therapist for a child.
Private message me if I can be of any more help.
I'm an 18 female and I'm a virgin. I wanna start taking birth control pills but I just wanna know if they have certain side effects and how long does it have to kick in to actually work?
The best person to answer this question is the doctor who prescribes your birth control medication. Different medications have different effectiveness times and different side effects.
A general rule of thumb is that any birth control medication is fully effective after one complete cycle of the medication; which is usually one complete menstrual cycle. Medication effects everyone differently so you may or may not suffer any side effect. Talk with the doctor about side effects and which ones would require a change in medication if you should suffer any of them.
While birth control pills when taken properly are 99% effective in preventing pregnancy they are not effective in preventing STDS. Until you are married or in a long term relationship and both have been tested. You partner should always use a condom. Condoms are not 100% effective in protecting against all STDS but they protect against many. Your best protection against STDS is knowing who you are having sex with and staying away from the players who insist on not using condoms and live for one night stands.
easy way of suicide
I agree with In 75. As a first responder with our local fire department I have sen many attempts. Fortunately most fail. All are painful so painful the victim calls for help.
Instead of attempting suicide call this number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis counselor in your area, anytime 24/7. That number is for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Your call is totally confidential. whatever is troubling, whatever has gone wrong in your life cannot be that bad that it cannot be made right with the help of the right people. The call is free as is the advice and assistance. Please call, you have nothing to loose by calling.
I am a virgin girl n had forplay with my patner n his sperms enter in my vagina.Is there is any chance of getting me pregnent???
You are a little vague on detail so it is hard to say. What any of us really need to know to answer this question is how the sperm entered your vagina and how much? An answer would be he came on you and some leaked down on your vagina, or he stuck his penis in me but not far enough to break my Hymen and came.
In the second example it is more likely that you could become pregnant then in the first example. To become pregnant you have to be ovulating, meaning expelling an egg from one of your ovaries. This happens for most women somewhere between the seventh and fourteenth day of their period and it is a three day window.
Sperm lives in the body for 72 hours. So with this information everything would have to be in sync for a women to become pregnant. It is a lot harder to become pregnant than one thinks but for healthy individuals it happens without trying hard.
Without more information none of us can give you any type of definitive answer. Hopefully the information I have supplied will help you arrive at an answer.
Ok so is it ok to hit a man when he lounges at a pregnant woman, who I might add is going thru his personal property during a disagreement. She feels like since he went thru her stuff n has been constantly accused of his own insecurities n she never did anything wrong, that when he gets physical by snatching things out of her hands n he wont listen to her when shes says stop, while she's pregnant. She takes a swing at him only bc she wants him to back off n quit lounging at her while she's pregnant n spoken words don't help stop. During her swing she barely touches him n he cries n plays victim that he's being attacked n punches her square in the face leaving her with a swollen face n spitting blood. While pregnant! His excuse is she hit me so I hit her back! What's peoples opinions on this?
What you have here is a situation called domestic violence. Take away all the reasons you gave as they have no standing. No one should ever hit anyone and man should never hit a women let alone a pregnant women.
When and if the cops arrive or medics call the cops the person least injured is going to jail. It matters not who through the first punch. They are going to take the most aggressive person to jail depending on the laws in the state you reside. It may also be that one or both of you would be asked to press charges against each other.
What this women needs to do, regardless of if this man is the father of her child. Is to go to the local court house and take out a personal protective order against this man. This is a court order baring him from coming with in a certain distance from her. Violation of this order will result in his arrest.
The women then should seek the advice of a lawyer concerning what legal work needs to be done for the protection of the child and its security and support from the father. If it is not this man then who ever the father is. Without court orders the father is not legally obligated to support the child.
Im 14/f and my mom is going to put me on birth control pill. I didn't even ask, she just wants me too, and I was wondering what all it does and things. Thank you guys:D
Jasmine23 is correct in what she has written.
There are many forms of birth control and after examination by a gynecologist. The different forms of birth control the doctor will recommend will be discussed with you.
Now that you are 14 by law mom cannot force birth control or any other medical procedure on you that impacts your reproductive system. This law is a federal law known as HIPPA. Health Information Personal Protection Act which covers all youths age 14 and older. It was designed so that young women mostly but young boys as well will seek medical attention for problems concerning their sexual organs and reproductive organs.
Under this act most medical procedures, including abortion, cannot be forced on you. You have a guaranteed right to privacy meaning mom cannot be in the exam room with you unless she is invited. You medical information is now confidential and cannot be released to anyone without you specific permission in writing to the doctor.
So while proper birth control is 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. Very effective in regulating when your period will arrive and the duration of it. Some forms of birth control even help with other problems related to your period. Now that you are 14 only you can decide if you want to take them or use any form of medical birth control.
I will say this about moms decision. Mom is trying to help you deal with some of the problems related to your period. Knowing when your period will arrive each month allows you to better plan around that time each month and be properly prepared. Mom is not giving you license to go out and have sex. I'm sure if she hasn't sat you down and discussed this with you she will.
Even though and for good reason the federal law has given you certain privileges of an adult. You are far from being an adult. Also by law you are under the age of consent meaning by law you cannot consent to having sex. You won't get in trouble but the boy you have sex with can get in trouble.
Your body is still maturing. You are still deeply into puberty. You and your body need time to mature before you think about sex. Proper birth control will help with the hormones now raging through you which will help you wait until you and your body catch up to the urges you may be feeling. Waiting is the right thing to do.
Your mother is a very wise women. I would suggest you listen to her and learn to confide in her in all things concerning your body and what you may be feeling inside you. I have a feeling mom will be up front and truthful with you if you go to her.
I need help because I've been seriously contemplating suicide. Nobody but my boyfriend knows this. Many people on this website and my boyfriend told me to talk to somebody about it. However, I'm unsure on how to do this. I don't want to mention it to my parents, because, well, they're youth pastors and I feel as if they haven't known my situation lately and I tell them it's been going on for awhile, they'll think badly of themselves. Or if I told somebody close to me, they'll think my parents shouldn't be in a position to help other teens like me. But, I don't think it's all there fault they don't know, I hide it well. I don't know how to talk to someone i know about my cutting or suicidal thoughts. Please somebody help me! I am embarrassed by my situation and I don't want somebody to think badly of my family or myself.
First things first. Who to talk to. There is a Suicide prevention hotline which follows. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis counselor in your area, anytime 24/7.
If by chance your parents are councilors at the crisis center near you when you call. Call when you know they are not there. Your call is totally confidential. Even if the person should recognize you they cannot tell your parents without your permission, it against the law and against what this hotline stands for; total confidentiality to help you find the proper help.
You can also go to the nearest emergency room for help. You do not need your parents permission. You can call 911 for help and help will be sent to you. You can also go to any fire or police station and ask for help. All will be done in total confidence until you are ready to speak to your parents. All your parents will be told is that you are safe. That is something they need to know so they not worry. They do not need to know where you are until you are ready to see them.
The fact that your parents are youth pastors has nothing to do with the facts. All parents feel badly when a child is hurting, especially when they should have seen and missed the signs that were telling them. I would say remove the fact that your parents are youth pastors from your feelings here. IF you feel comfortable enough to go to them if they weren't youth pastors and tell them how you are falling then I suggest you do so.
As a parent and I am actually old enough to be your grandparent, they will feel bad upon learning what you have to tell the regardless of their education or station in life. I do not know you and I want to reach out to you because I feel bad that you feel as you do. So please if you feel comfortable talking to your parents then do so. Otherwise call the hotline or do one of the other things I suggested.
Suicide is never the answer. It is a bad solution to a temporary problem. A solution that leaves a lot of hurt behind.
So back in April I met this guy named Luke. The first time we hung out at the bar I told him BLUNTLY that I was not in any way whatsoever looking for a relationship. Well, we ended up going to his house and getting drunk and having sex. Before we had sex, I told him this was just a "fuck buddy" kind of sex, not a relationship kind of sex. He said that was just fine and that we could be fuck buddies. I knew what I was doing and it wasn't a drunken mistake. I know NOW that this was a mistake tho so don't focus on that.
Since we were fuck buddies we had sex often. To me, it was just sex, but to him it was love and relationship building. He started telling me he loves me and can see a future with me. I have NO idea why I continued to let things go on but I did. While still telling him I am not interested in a relationship. Well after awhile of him charming me and being romantic I told him I loved him too and I wasn't lying.
This was a mistake!!
I KNOW for a 100% fact that our relationship can never work. I do love him and care about him very much but I am not in love with him and I never can be becuase we are completely different people. I can never be with someone who is a chain smoker like he is and who has such an alochol dependancy. His constant drinking has made him very immature (he still parties and acts like a teenager... no exaggeration) and he is 11 years older than me. I feel like I am taking care of a child. I can not be with him. It will never work out.
But he is head over hills, completely and down right in love with me. He goes on and on to all his friends, family and co workers about me and how much he loves me and I love him, etc. He is always doing the sweetest things and saying all the right words.
I know I am being a bitch cuz I keep letting him believe everything is okay. I hate myself for doing it but I just feel like I don't have the heart to hurt him so badly. I know this is becuase only 9 months ago I was dumped, hurt and immensely heartbroken and I just can't put anyone through that.
I know that it will crush him. He will sink into a depression that will affect his work (which is in another state and it's too dangerous for him to not be focused), he will be embarrassed around everyone because he talks so highly of our relationship and how happy he is and it will affect his relationships with everyone around him for quite some time. All becuase of me.
I KNOW it needs to be done but I don't know how to do it. At the moment it would have to be over the phone cuz he lives in another state for his job. He will be home in about 6 weeks and he will stay with me for 2 weeks before he goes back but I am the only home he will have for those 2 weeks, he has no one else to stay with at all. I can't tell him while he is living with me and I can't tell him just before he leaves back to his dangerous job can I?
My plan now that I think is kind of working is to make him fall out of love with me. By really focusing so much on those differences we have. That I don't want alcohol in my life ever, that I may never want to have children, that I don't want to get married for at least 5 more years, that I want religion in my life... these are all things he disagrees with and they are big things.
Sorry for the novel. I just need advice. What do I do. I will reward good advice. Please don't give me negative comments like "you got yourself into this" becuase I know what I've done. I'm asking for advice now. Please also avoid "You just have to tell him" becuase obviously I have thought of that and am not exactly at a point where I can just do that. PLEASEEE HELP!!!
There may be another way that puts the decision on what direction your relationship is going to take on him. If you are correct about him with his smoking and drinking he will leave the relationship.
First: My brother in-law was a chain smoking alcoholic until he woke up in the drunk tank at our local police station. He is now 24 years sober and my sister is his second wife, who has been married to for the last 15 years.
Sober he is a great guy. He cares greatly for my sister and helped her raise my two nieces. As an alcoholic he was a horrible drunk. He didn't hit or abuse anyone, he was a binge type drinker.
After waking up in the drunk tank he joined aa and gave up both drinking and cigarettes at the same time. He credits aa for saving his life. The problem with getting someone to enter and adopt the aa life style is first admitting they have a problem and second wanting to change.
I tell you all of this for he is the one with the problem that needs to change if there is a chance at the two of you building a relationship. If he is truly in love with you this may be all he needs to realize he needs to change he life to have the type of life with you that you both may want.
You start by telling him that yes you have fallen for him; though you cannot see marriage to him in your future because... 1)His alcohol dependence and 2)His chain smoking. You tell him that unless he is willing to go to aa, adopt their 12 step recovery program, which will help with the smoking as well, then there is no sense then being anything more than sex buddies; which is not what you want from him any longer.
You stop there; you have placed the desire to take your relationship any further in his court. Does he love you enough and want to spend his life with you to change. As for you if he goes to aa you will go to al anon. Which is a group for people who are dealing with friends and relatives with dependencies. They will help you deal with him while he is going through the initial stages of aa.
aa is a lifetime commitment. You just aren't cured you are in recovery and aa helps you stay there. Al anon helps you help him.
You say you have come to love him. But there are two big no, no's to his character that need to change for a lasting relationship. By taking my suggestion you are not dumping him; you are giving him a choice of changing or walking away. There is a difference.
I'm 13 years ols and I have fingered myself and I have used a dildo but I need sex I need to have sex with someone because I am horny all of the time .....
I don't no what to do !
In any ball game the third strike your out of the batters box. I'm throwing the third strike here and telling you the last thing you need right now is sex.
OMG you are 13 years old, you have just entered your teenage years and puberty. What you are feeling are the effects of the new hormones in your body that eventually your body will adjust too. Then if you were to have engaged in sex you will have major regrets for several reasons. The biggest one is the hit on your reputation.
By my count you should be in the last year of Middle School. Do you want to go through then next 5 years of school with the reputation of being easy? That's the reputation you will get and you will never know if a boy is asking you out because he is interested in you or because he has heard you are easy and he might score with you.
If your hormones are so out of control that all you can do is masturbate then see your gynecologist. There is medication he or she can give you to help your body adjust and make you less horny.
The last thing you need at your age is to engage in sex. There are to many pit falls not the least of which is an unwanted pregnancy. We can't all be wrong in telling you not to have sex at your age so please listen to one of us.
I'm a 19 year old female babysitter, and I know this is a big accusation, but I think the father of of the family is abusive to the mother and possibly children.
I just started working with this family and they have five kids. The mother is a very petite woman who strikes me as being anxious. Yesterday when I was there, the mother was trying to set up a rental crib for their 2 year old (they're on vacation) and it was a crappy piece of sh*t and one of the wheels came off. She was already very pissed off because she called the company and they were of no help, so when the 12 year old son came in the room and asked what to do with the wheel, she told him, "Use your head. It needs to be put back on the crib," I was standing right there, she wasn't aggressive with how she said it. Well the son threw the wheel on the ground and started screaming how he did nothing to her so why is she freaking out on him. It was frightening to see how aggressive he was toward his mother, and I bet you anything he got it from his father.
About ten minutes later, the father came storming into the room and kept telling her how mean she was and that their son did nothing to merit being scolded when he was just bringing back the wheel. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out into the hallway because he "needed to talk to her privately." while she said, "You're hurting me, let go!" He kept calling her mean and said she "better apologize". The way she responded to him was like a child trying to explain themselves to her father for being caught doing something wrong. The power he had over her was sick.
Then when they were unloading groceries and their daughter had three bags of chips in her hand, the father told her to put them down and go get more groceries from the car. He aggressively kept saying, "Put them down! Put them down! Put them down!" before she even had the chance to set them on the counter because it was covered in other groceries. There was no reason for him to act that way because she was in the process of doing it but he didn't even give her time.
Does this sound like a possibly abusive situation to anyone else? What should I do? I'm only babysitting for them for just one week before they go back home.
If you were ever to listen to my Aunt and Uncle, my god parents, you would swear it was an abusive relationship. They always hollered and screamed at each other but that is the way they were. They were New Yorkers, loud people but they loved each other and never hurt each other.
Mental abuse is just as bad or even worse than physical abuse as the abuse can't be seen. While I agree with the first writer that the woman should ask for help the problem of mental abuse is it so wears the person they may not be able to ask for help.
The only thing I can advise you is this: If you think there is an abuse going on then it is better to error on the side of caution and speak with the police. Let them decide if anything is wrong or warrants an investigation. Once you have informed the police then you have done what you can to to protect their women and her daughter from the husband/father.
I made a very serious suicide attempt two months ago and was comatose for a few days and then committed to a psych hospital for two weeks. I completely lied to get out of there, it was like jail for crazy people.
I am not crazy, I love my family, I have a relatively great life. I travel a lot, I get good grades, I have close friends, etc.
But none of it means anything to me whatsoever. I just don't see the point. And I know, that means I should live for my family. That's what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to stay alive so that they're happy. It's a constant, neverending struggle. I feel like I am trapped in life. Trapped by the fact that my life can't actually be my choice, trapped that I have to live tomorrow too. It's getting exhausting.
Other than to say that suicide is not the answer I am not at this time going to attempt to answer your question. I need more information by asking you to explain what you mean by someone what you have written:
It's a constant never ending struggle.
I feel like I am trapped in life.
Trapped by the fact that my life can't actually be my choice, trapped that I have to live tomorrow too.
It's getting exhausting.
You can private message me if you want with a better explanation of your meaning for what you have written or you can call a hotline where there are people better trained to help you.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24/7 365. The professionals that answer the phone will talks with you as long as you need to talk with them. They will also find people in your own neighbor hod to help you. Their number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Call them.
I am 15 years old and a pastors kid. I feel completely worthless and I can't find help. Today I was seriously thinking about killing myself and my boyfriend is the only one who I've told about my suicidal thoughts and he doesn't know what to do to help me. I've been cutting myself for a couple of years now and I'm tired of hurting. I dont want to live anymore! Im mentally and emotionally exhausted! My parents or friends don't seem to notice my pain or my scars.....I feel like nobody cares! Please I need help!!!! Tell me what to do, please! I don't know who to turn to and I need advice!
First suicide is never an answer. It is the wrong solution that cause a great pain for those left behind and is a very painful way to die.
Normally one of the suggestions I would make is to talk with you clergymen. In this case that may be your father. Who may be to busy helping others to notice your pain and possibly part of the problem. There is help that you can reach out for.
The first is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It is available 24/7 365 days a year. The professionals manning the phone will talk with you and listen to you for as long as you need to talk. Then they will help you find people in your own neighborhood who can help you. Their number is 1--800-273-TALK (8255).
If you are actively suicidal or feel like hurting yourself, cutting, then please pick up the phone and call 911. Tell the call taker what you have written to us. They will send help to you.
If you are to the point were you feel like committing suicide then you are suffering from some form of depression. This is not something you can get over yourself or with over the counter medications. Depression needs a doctors type of help. Once the doctors lifts the fog of depression from you then you will see things in an entirely different light and you can repair whatever is hurting you. I speak from experience.
So please either call the hotline number I gave you or 911.
hi, I'm 14 and a male, my girlfriend came home from her holiday in the south of France about 3/4 weeks ago, she took a pill's so she wouldn't come on her period while she was out there. when she came home we had un-protected sex for 10-15 seconds, she was on her period at the time but it was at the end of a 7 day period. it's now been the 3/4 weeks and she hasn't come on her next period, could she be pregnant? or could she have missed her period this month because of the pills she took? please help my curiosity.
While every women is different in when she is ovulating it is rare for a women to ovulate while she is having her period. So the chances are good that she is not pregnant.
When a women ovulate is when the ovary puts out an egg for fertilization. No egg no pregnancy. No ovulation no egg. As I say different women ovulate at different times during the month ans it is possible to ovulate during a woman's period. It is just unusual.
If she does not have a period between now and next months time then chances of her being pregnant are higher. She should take a home pregnancy test.
I just turned twelve and im not sure if im cramping I have this really bad pain under my stomach and my back to my thighs hurt and I feel dizzy. My stomach feels like soneone is ripping my guts out. I even feel really weak! Please help me out!
Hi, we are not doctors, even if we were we should not and cannot make a proper diagnoses over the Internet. Everyone feels pain differently. What you are feeling may sound like premenstrual cramping but could be something far more serious.
Even if it is premenstrual cramping there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Every young lady entering puberty will get their period sometime. Possibly as early as age 10 or as late as their mid teens.
Your mom is well aware that sometime around your present age you will get your period and she is just waiting for you to come to her so she can help you as I'm sure her mother helped her.
As I said in the beginning it is very possible this is premenstrual cramping. Though there is just enough of a possibility it is something else. Something that requires medication or some other type of medical intervention. Mom will have a better idea what to do once you tell her how you feel.
If you have a temperature above 100 what you are experiencing is not premenstrual cramping and does require medical intervention. In which case you will have to tell mom as you are too young to make your own doctors appointments.
NOTE: I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I'm quite liberal in my views, so a word of advice. There is nothing to be embarrassed about with normal bodily functions. For a young lady her period is a normal bodily function. When it comes to aches and pains or general not feeling well the best person to consult is one of your parents. Believe this; as a husband and father your dad and I are very familiar with a woman's normal bodily function and dad can be consulted if mom is not available without embarrassment.
Our children's health and welfare our are most important concern. Embarrassment should never stand in the way of consulting a parent when you don't feel well. As hard as it is to believe we were all once your age and for the most part we have had all the aches and pains you will have.
So talk to mom and let her decide if you need to see a doctor or if she can help relieve the symptoms your having.
Alright so Im 13/f and everytime I use the usual pads my mom buys the 'always' ones, I get a rash that sprouts from like around my butt hole. It turns red, very itchy, and rises above the skin a bit. It hurts badly and is very irritating.
Things I will and will NOT do about this :
Will: tell my mom, use the cream I've always used for it.
Wont: go to a doctor, my mom is a nurse and should know what shes doing and Im NOT going to see a freakin doctor about this.
Advice?
Maybe I wasn't clear enough about GYN visits. You don't need to see a GYN monthly. Once a year after you start having periods is what I meant to or was trying to say. If you have not had that first visit you should. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is your health and you only have your good health if you take care of your self and have regular check ups. This includes regular GYN visits.
Boys need regular visits to a doctor as well for things that are just as embarrassing to them. This is all part of growing up and becoming an adult. I hope you reconsider.
As a firefighter/first responder the one thing that really bothers me is seeing young people on our stretchers for things that can be prevented with good health care.
I understand mom is a nurse and how embarrassed you are about seeing a doctor.
I have two things I need to say about that.
First: If you have not seen a gynecologist (GYN) since starting your period you need to do so and every year from now forward. I'm sure mom can find a female GYN she is comfortable with and trusts to care for you so that this part of your yearly physical is less embarrassing for you.
Second: While it is good that mom is a nurse. Recurrent rashes need to tested to see if they are bacterial of viral. Since it is on your anus a doctor also need to make sure it has not entered your anal track. These are things mom cannot do or test for as it takes a doctor to do. A GYN can do these things for you during a simple office visit and will do them with the least amount of embarrassment for you.
Just remember when it comes to that part of the anatomy we all, male or female have an anus. Going to see a female GYN should be the least embarrassing for you as there is nothing you have that she doesn't have and if she wasn't a doctor would see each day in the shower.
I honestly do understand your embarrassment and would never make light of it. If it weren't so important to your overall health to allow a doctor to check and see that this is just a simple rash and not something worse I would not have taken the time to answer this question. There are times when a rash is just a rash. Sometimes a rash is more than that and in this case, not being a doctor myself, not being able to do the test to make sure it is just a rash. I feel it is important to urge you to allow a doctor to examine you.
14 / Female
I know I might be to young to have sex but I still have questions .. I've almost had sex a few times but I was to scared too . Why am I so scared ? How can I get over my fears ?? My insecurities ?? How do I know if he is the right one ?? Im confused because i want to have sex with a friend so if im not good they wont leave me but i want to have sex with my boyfriend of a good amount of time so i know its special .. I dont want to mess up or anything .. Any advice I would apreciate (: Thanks
I will put what GiddyGeezer said another way. Fact is you said it yourself; "I know I might be to young to have sex." It is not might, you are too young to have sex. The fact that you are to scared to go through with it is your own self-protection devices working overtime to keep you from doing something that you will regret for the rest of your life.
Sex is a wonderful thing between TWO CONSENTING ADULTS. You are a long way from being and adult. By law you are a long way from being legally able to consent to sex. In most states you must be at least 17 years of age in order to be able to consent.
There are so many things that can happen and go wrong by having sexual intercourse at your age it is just not safe for you to do so. First no matter how mature you may be and form your writing I see a very mature 14 year old. You have not gained the maturity to engage in intercourse. While you may have the body of a women and feel like you are ready for intercourse, you are not. Your body is still maturing many ways that will make intercourse much more enjoyable if you wait. Right now it will be painful and unfulfilled.
Pardon my directness but there are many other ways to control or relief raging hormones, aka homeyness. Any of the methods you and your boyfriend might engage in are far safer, less painful and do not result in an unwanted pregnancy.
My advice is to wait until you are much older. A recent survey released in just the past few weeks shows that girls are waiting much longer to loose their virginity. The average age 10 years ago was 15. Today it 17.5 There is good reason for this so stay with in the survey data and wait. Do not be forced into anything you are not ready for.
Short answer to your question. By being scared your body is telling you that you are not ready. When you are ready your body will tell you.
What are some ways to meet people if you are single and in your 20's? I'm not a huge club type so that's really not an option. I was just wondering if anyone had any pointers on where to look. I don't trust dating sites..
I'm not sure what you mean by "not the club type" as there are two definitions of "club". There is club as in clubbing going out to bars and the like. Then there is clubs as in hobbies and special interest clubs.
I have often recommended that finding a club or recreational activity that is of interest to you is a wonderful place to meet like minded men and women. The simple reason for this is you have be the very nature of the club or activity already have something in common with which to break the ice.
I generally propose that you sit down with a pen and paper and list all those things that interest you. Include religious activities if they interest you. Once you have made your list go back and number them 1 through however many you have.
Then take your local weekly town newspaper and searching the Internet start at number 1 and see what club or activities are available in your area that are of interest to you and when.
If it is a club you generally can attend several meetings before having to join and pay any fee they may require. If it is an activity you can decide if you wish to go or not. The same with religious activities and groups.
Having a common basis in which to communicate is a great foundation for friendship and can lead to great relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Clubbing going to bars is generally a hit and miss type things as finding a like minded person. Frankly these type of places are generally a booty call. IF a relationship does develop it generally fails once the newness of the booty call wears off and you find you have nothing in common.
I hope I have offered some help.