|
Suicidal thoughts as my marriage is breaking up around me
As my marriage is breaking up around me,I've pleaded and begged,but no-ones listening,I've got 6 small children ,I feel like ending it and leaving them all to enjoy there life with their mother,I'm 47, I had everything,bus,house,holiday home,financially stable,don't owe nothing,yet the most valuable thing I have,I'm losing like water running through my hands,
It just seems the only way out.........
I'm based uk.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Is this a failure issue? That is, being guys, we're very goal directed and failing at something, especially something as significant as a marriage where children are involved, can lead to feelings of self loathing, guilt and humiliation. Plus you have to air out all your family's laundry, dirty and otherwise, in front of a judge, lawyers and other family members, which only amps up the stress, that stress exacerbated by the expense and feeling of a loss of control. That someone would want to extricate themselves from what seems like a nightmare made reality is understandable to some degree.
Also, the custodial aspect of divorce can lead to a sense of loss when the children are assigned to the other spouse. Human beings, being social creatures, have a hard time dealing with social separation in general and the emotional bonds created in family's only exacerbates that.
However, rationally, all relationships have expiration dates. Sometimes it can be six weeks, sometimes 60 years. It just depends on the two people involved. People change and evolve over time and sometimes it makes maintaining a relationship untenable because those people just aren't what they were even ten years ago. It's just the human condition.
Therefore, perhaps a more mature reflection on this other than wanting to off oneself is to contemplate what one has learned from the experience and how one can reset one's life to make the rest of it happier. See a therapist who has a lot more training in helping deal with these issues than random people like those you run into on this site.
]
Being from the colonies as you all refer to us in the States I'm not sure how things work there, especially the phone system. Below is a Suicide Prevention Hotline I found which I would like you to call. I copied all the numbers they gave and the web address so you could chose the best way to contact them.
United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samaritans UK & ROI
National
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - E-mail:
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
Website: samaritans.org
I do not know much about this organization though if it is like the one we have here in the states. The hotline will be answered by professionals who will talk with you and help you find people near you that can help you.
Suicide is not the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Divorce is a temporary problem no mater what the cause is. Marriage counseling can derail the course of the divorce. If you have not given counseling a try I suggest you do so. Even if it means you do so alone should your wife refuse.
The one thing I am absolutely certain of is this: Whatever is wrong between you and your wife is between you and your wife, not you and your 6 young children. They need their father and you will be doing them a great deal of harm and injustice if you kill yourself.
I realize how hurt you must feel and you have I'm sure every reason to be hurt. The hurt will pass with time and you will move on with your life, enjoying watching your children grow into responsible adults that you will teach them to be. If one or more of the 6 is a daughter you can look forward to walking her/them down the aisle at her/their wedding(s). Also with 6 children there will be a large number of grandchildren that will need poppy or grandpa around to teach them things that dad may be to busy to teach them.
You have a lot to live for my friend, and you are my friend. So please call the hotline, seek out a counselor to help you through this and enjoy watching your children grow.
]
When things look bleak the mind often turns to thoughts of suicide as a sloution. A way out. The last word. A kind of revenge maybe on those around you, and the world in general. A cry for help? I'll only ask one thing. Have you got a plan? A real, practical plan in your mind of how you intend to commit the act? If the answer is yes, no more websites or friends advice. Seek professional help straight away.
]
I won't say that I know what you're going through, because there's no way I could. I will say that there will always be amazing things to come in life and there will always be disastrous things to come. Your life sucks, but it won't always suck. One of my parents was suicidal when their marriage broke up, so I can relate in a weird way to the situation. Your children need someone to love them, even if you can't see them when you want, not a check. Your death at your own hands would traumatize them for life, doing far more damage than a check would ever make up for.
Of course, I'm making assumptions, feel free to correct me.
I guess my reason for replying is that I think you aren't thinking clearly right now. You shouldn't leave life-altering decisions to an unstable mind in the middle of an enormous crisis. Just wait. Things will get better.
]
More Questions: |