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Is it ok for a woman to hit a man if she feels she needs to defend herself

Question Posted Monday August 20 2012, 2:00 pm

Ok so is it ok to hit a man when he lounges at a pregnant woman, who I might add is going thru his personal property during a disagreement. She feels like since he went thru her stuff n has been constantly accused of his own insecurities n she never did anything wrong, that when he gets physical by snatching things out of her hands n he wont listen to her when shes says stop, while she's pregnant. She takes a swing at him only bc she wants him to back off n quit lounging at her while she's pregnant n spoken words don't help stop. During her swing she barely touches him n he cries n plays victim that he's being attacked n punches her square in the face leaving her with a swollen face n spitting blood. While pregnant! His excuse is she hit me so I hit her back! What's peoples opinions on this?

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday August 21 2012, 11:01 am:
What you have here is a situation called domestic violence. Take away all the reasons you gave as they have no standing. No one should ever hit anyone and man should never hit a women let alone a pregnant women.

When and if the cops arrive or medics call the cops the person least injured is going to jail. It matters not who through the first punch. They are going to take the most aggressive person to jail depending on the laws in the state you reside. It may also be that one or both of you would be asked to press charges against each other.

What this women needs to do, regardless of if this man is the father of her child. Is to go to the local court house and take out a personal protective order against this man. This is a court order baring him from coming with in a certain distance from her. Violation of this order will result in his arrest.

The women then should seek the advice of a lawyer concerning what legal work needs to be done for the protection of the child and its security and support from the father. If it is not this man then who ever the father is. Without court orders the father is not legally obligated to support the child.

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sizzlinmandolin answered Monday August 20 2012, 8:18 pm:
Whatever is going on here it sounds extremely toxic. These people need to get away from each other, and fast. If the man is the child's father, that complicates things, but the same thing needs to happen. This is not a good situation for either person. It is never okay to have this kind of violence. The woman needs to protect her unborn child and get out of this situation, whatever it may be, as soon as possible.

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Alin75 answered Monday August 20 2012, 5:08 pm:
I for one believe that gender is irrelevant in such a discussion. One might bring in physical strength as a factor but to bring in gender is to take human rights back 100 years. Remember, not all men are strong and not all women are weak.

So, would this scenario have still been ok to you if it was two guys... one strong and one weak? With the weak guy smacking the stronger one?

Also, would it have been ok for him to hit her if she were "snatching things out of his hands (etc)" and not listening?

A weak guy would never do it, because he knows what will happen to him. A woman on the other hand resorts to violence quite often (I just saw an expert recently saying that women actually hit far more than men do in relationships).

These are the factors to consider when you evaluate this scenario.

As for my opinion... I think violence is ok, even necessary, in certain situations which can be loosely described as self defence (situations similar to the one you describe). That being said, I also think that if you hit someone, you had better be sure you can handle the response. So, was it ok... maybe... was it smart? God no!

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