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Should I Let My Feelings Out?
Long story short, I have this uncle who has done everybody in his life wrong big time at one time or another, but I'm here because he did something to me eight years ago that hurt more than he knows. It devastated me and was the most unfair thing that's ever happened to me. I've never told him how terrible it made me feel, but now I'm having new problems in my life now because of it and the anger's coming back. I think I might tell him how I feel soon just so I can get my feelings out. The thing is, he thinks everything's fine between us and he's probably forgotten all about it. I don't want to damage our relationship, but I also don't want to have all of these feelings bottled up inside of me for the rest of my life. What should I do?
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It gonna be all right
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If you feel like you can't hold it in any more, you might want to see a therapist. Not that any thing is wrong with you by ANY means, but that's why they are there.
Now, if you don't want to do that, I understand. Have you tried journaling? Or maybe talking to someone you know would hold it confidential - like someone at church?
If it comes down to telling him, it seems like he has anger issues. I would make sure at least 1 other person (adult) is in the room or you are in a public place like starbucks. Set a time limit like 30 minutes and from the beginning tell him you have to be somewhere at xx:xx so it gives you a prompt time to leave the situation. Be honest, loving, and caring when you deliver the news. Let him know you were not holding a grudge, but you needed to confront him about it.
If you don't want to talk, write him a letter and leave it for him to read. Might be easier to process in writing. Be sure the reassure him that you still love him and he means a lot to you, and this shouldn't change anything.
Good luck!
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Is it something you can foresee getting over? Since it still bothers you this much, I would guess it isn't. In that case, I would tell him.
But I wouldn't come at him in an accusative manner. I wouldn't say, "You did this... It's because of you..." I would just put out how these things made you feel. "It made me feel... I feel that..." It may seem less hostile that way, it might make it easier for him to hear, and it might be easier to understand.
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