Suicide: I don't know who to talk to, or even how to talk to someone about my feelings.
Question Posted Monday August 20 2012, 11:03 pm
I need help because I've been seriously contemplating suicide. Nobody but my boyfriend knows this. Many people on this website and my boyfriend told me to talk to somebody about it. However, I'm unsure on how to do this. I don't want to mention it to my parents, because, well, they're youth pastors and I feel as if they haven't known my situation lately and I tell them it's been going on for awhile, they'll think badly of themselves. Or if I told somebody close to me, they'll think my parents shouldn't be in a position to help other teens like me. But, I don't think it's all there fault they don't know, I hide it well. I don't know how to talk to someone i know about my cutting or suicidal thoughts. Please somebody help me! I am embarrassed by my situation and I don't want somebody to think badly of my family or myself.
My parents are pastors too and I often feel the same way - that I shouldn't tell them anything about my personal problems that have been going on for a while. Guess what, they want to know. They want to make sure you are okay. Nothing means more than to know their child is okay and is in a safe place. Please tell them. Please. Why? Because you are worth so much to them. They would likely give their life for yours.
If you don't want to talk to them, find a counselor at school to confide in. Whoever it is, find someone. YOU are important. Count your blessings. Change your point of view. Taking your life is really a selfish thought. Look around you, I know you have people that care. I know you are important. Your parents want to be there for you, not be your enemy. Be honest.
lonelycc answered Friday August 24 2012, 1:54 pm: Don't be embarrassed about your cutting. Is there someone besides your boyfriend that you trust. Find someone who you can trust. If you are having suicidal thoughts, you should seek help. Suicide is not an answer. You can have a life full of joy and happiness. Everybody goes through ups and downs. If you have a hard time talking to you parents because you feel thet will think badly about themselves. Please find a way to tell them. If they don't know what is going on with you, they can't help you. You need to trust you parents will be there for you. Its important you come forward and let them know. Don't be afraid to talk to them. If they feel badly about themselves, its because you haven't talk to them about whats going on. [ lonelycc's advice column | Ask lonelycc A Question ]
WBUFAN answered Tuesday August 21 2012, 12:10 pm: Hello honey
First of all, suicide is NEVER the answer. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter what is going on in your life, you'll get through it one way or another. There was I time when I hypothetically thought about suicide. I didn't really want to do it, but I did what it would be like I did. I think that back then, the reason I wouldn't even consider it was because of my family and the dreams I had for my life. Those are two things you should think about as well. Not that your parents should be blamed by others or that they should feel embarrassed like you worry they will, but those feelings are absolutely nothing compared to the loss of a child, sister, grandchild, ect. They would much rather you tell them what's going on so they can help you and if you don't tell them, they'll be shocked by your death and can end up blaming themselves for the rest of their lives and wondering what they could have done differently to change things. Your family loves you unconditionally and wants to help with your problems, they wouldn't want things to be hidden from them to avoid embarrassment. They can get help. They can talk to you, get you a counselor, get you whatever else you need so that you can get through this while having someone to talk to about it. Also, think about the plans you've had for your life. If you don't have any, you will and you should start trying to think so you can have something to look forward to. The one thing that I've always wanted for my life more than I've ever wanted anything was a family of my own. I can't imagine having died (and especially committing suicide) before my precious family was born. You should really try to think of something to strive for and give yourself some motivation to get through whatever's going on right now. Hope I helped.
Good luck! [ WBUFAN's advice column | Ask WBUFAN A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Tuesday August 21 2012, 10:27 am: First things first. Who to talk to. There is a Suicide prevention hotline which follows. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis counselor in your area, anytime 24/7.
If by chance your parents are councilors at the crisis center near you when you call. Call when you know they are not there. Your call is totally confidential. Even if the person should recognize you they cannot tell your parents without your permission, it against the law and against what this hotline stands for; total confidentiality to help you find the proper help.
You can also go to the nearest emergency room for help. You do not need your parents permission. You can call 911 for help and help will be sent to you. You can also go to any fire or police station and ask for help. All will be done in total confidence until you are ready to speak to your parents. All your parents will be told is that you are safe. That is something they need to know so they not worry. They do not need to know where you are until you are ready to see them.
The fact that your parents are youth pastors has nothing to do with the facts. All parents feel badly when a child is hurting, especially when they should have seen and missed the signs that were telling them. I would say remove the fact that your parents are youth pastors from your feelings here. IF you feel comfortable enough to go to them if they weren't youth pastors and tell them how you are falling then I suggest you do so.
As a parent and I am actually old enough to be your grandparent, they will feel bad upon learning what you have to tell the regardless of their education or station in life. I do not know you and I want to reach out to you because I feel bad that you feel as you do. So please if you feel comfortable talking to your parents then do so. Otherwise call the hotline or do one of the other things I suggested.
lightoftruth answered Tuesday August 21 2012, 4:46 am: You should tell your parents. Most parents have no idea what they're kids are going through. They won't know until you tell them. You need help, so they are the people you should go to.
It's not their fault they don't know, explain that to them.
You're parents probably had to deal with other teenagers like you. They will be shocked when they find out, be ready for emotions. Just tell them how you've been feeling and you want help. They'll help you. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Jasmine23 answered Tuesday August 21 2012, 2:16 am: Althought your parents are both youth pastors, they still are your parents first. and because they do help people around your age with issues they face every single day. they may understand your situation more than you think they might. You definetly need to talk to someone you trust. and Your parents want nothing but to take care of you.
Yes it is very scary talking about your problems especially to your parents. Make sure you tell them and make it clear that it is truly not their faults. and any one who knows your family will not think badly of you at all. Sometimes these things happen. and we feel this way. I did go through a big depression stage my self. it is hardd. but it does get better.
step one is telling them. I'm depressed. I've had thougths of cutting and or suicide. . Go on to tell them how often you think of this. how it makes you feel. Why you think you feel this way.
Maybe even wriiting it in a letter and then talking to them might be easier for you.
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