NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: so i just got a pandigital - the novel ereader and i was wondering if i can acess my local library or an online library and read those books on it ? thanks
kaitlyn

Many libraries have an electronic component now, which is fantastic. I know that mine does: as long as you have a card, you can "borrow" books from their website(the license expires after a few weeks).

As for online libraries, there really aren't any yet. However, there is a website called Project Gutenberg which has an enormous collection of free and legal ebooks. The only catch? They're all pretty old, because the reason they're free is that their copyright has expired.

You'll love your e-reader. I know mine almost never leaves my side!

Q: Hey everybody, I'm 14 (almost 15) and I think it's about time I start thinking about a first job. Most likely when I turn 15 or 16 I'll start looking for one. I want to work at McDonald's with my friend, but if I can't, what are some good jobs for somebody who has terrible social skills? All answers are appreciated.

Instead of avoiding jobs that require the use of social skills, aim for one that does require it. Any retail or service industry job will.

Why? Because you need social skills. They're really, really important. Every job requires them. Even if you don't work with customers or clients, you still have to be able to work well with co-workers. That's something future employers will want, so it's something to work on now.

Q: So I'm going to be 17 in 3 days and I've only been asked out three times and i've only had 1 boyfriend. Nobody asked me to prom last year. In fact I've never been asked to any dance or party.

People tell me i'm really pretty but I feel like the ugliest troll in the entire world.

I have to go back to school soon for my senior year and I start to cry even thinking about it because I know I'm going to be surrounded by over 1,000 gorgeous rich girls that make me look like a pile of trash.

I think everybody looks down at me because I'm short for my age and so they see me as a little kid (I'm 5ft exactly). Like I'll try to talk to the popular preppy girls and they'll just roll their eyes at me.

One of them talked to me once in my television productions class and I was so shocked that I asked her if she was talking to me or somebody behind me. I couldn't believe that they even noticed my existence.

I've tried dying my hair different colors (brown and blonde) and being as skinny as possible (I'm 75 pounds) and I put on makeup and dress nicely.

I try to be funny,smart and empathic and the friends I do have love me for it and people come looking for me to give them advice and a shoulder to lean on all the time.

When I got my senior portraits done the photographer told me I should be a model because I was so pretty.

I don't know what's wrong with me I must be some sort of freak. I feel so horrible about myself I just want to disappear.

I don't know what more I can do to make myself look like something more then a stepping stone.

I fear that I'm never going to amount to anything and that nobody will ever love me and that I'm either going to get murdered or that I'll live out my life completely alone and die without ever knowing what love is.

Please give me some advice.
Thank You so much.

Welp, you have me beat at that age. I had been asked out by exactly two guys and had one boyfriend. I know exactly what it feels like to be rejected by the male species.

I'll let you in on a secret: the popular girls? They will roll their eyes at anyone who dares to make an attempt at communication. There's a reason they're popular... by creating a shortage in positions available in their group, they create a higher demand for those positions. So naturally they have to exclude just about everyone.

Stick to your friends. Keep being you. Get involved in stuff... volunteer, or join a club. Find a sense of self-worth that isn't related to your looks and you'll be much happier for it.

The good news is that once you get past high school, things do get better. You tend to fall in with crowds who are more like you, and the losers fall by the wayside because there's no room for popular princess attitude in the real world.

Q: My fiancee' recently committed suicide, he was on a large amount of mental meds, to keep from dinking, and he bacame paranoid and not himself. He first disappeared for four days, and then we found his body. I din't think he meant to do it, because he never seemed like the type of person. Anyway we were having major problems after being together for four years and it was coming to the point that we needed to seperate, because the argueing was out of control. I felt I had fallen out of love with him because of his destructive nature. He told me he was dying of a broken heart because of me. Because he felt I no longer loved him, but he said he loved me more than any person ever would.I believed him because he did everything for me. Why would a person who says they love you sooo much take their own life? Why would he cause me all this grief and pain if he really loved me? Plus we have five children, four mine one 10 month old his. Why did he do it to where we would find him? Why didn't he leave a note? I dont think he really meant to do it. Yes I am seeking counseling, but others opinions are important as a third party feedback source.

Having been in his place but thankfully saved from it a few times, I might be able to explain.

This will sound strange, but he may have believed that he was saving you. People who are depressed and not all there due to paranoia feel worthless. He was causing you pain by arguing, and as someone who loves you very much may have felt that he should protect you from it in any way possible. Thinking processes aren't all there when you're in that sort of state. In fact, one of my attempts was in the same sort of situation.

You're doing the right thing by getting counseling. If any of your children are old enough to understand what's going on, make sure they get in too.

Q: I want a car sooo BAD! How can i convice my mom to get me one??

Well, first off, you should prove that you're responsible enough and invested in it. Go get yourself a job and start saving. She might be more inclined to go halvsies with you than to just buy you one. Do some research on used cars and prove to her that you know what you're talking about.

Then you need to sort out who has what responsibilities. Who's paying for insurance? Who pays for repairs and gas? If you're expecting her to pay for everything, she won't be all that inclined to get you one.

If you can find a benefit to her, that might also help. Like, say, offering to go get groceries, or pick up your little brother from soccer every week.

Q: I am 14 years old. Turning 15 in 4 months and going into grade 10. I havent even started my period yet, all my frends have gotten theirs. I have very small hardly noticeable breasts, i dont wear a bra and i have been like this since grade 7, my breasts have not made any size difference. i have a little hair under my arms and fewer hair in my vagina. i have never had this "discharge" everyone talks about. i am really worried, i know everyone says that its not something to look forward too but every girl wants it. i get made fun of alot,, i dont have someone i can turn to talk about this and i cant stop thinking about it. i cry alot about this. can any body help me out there?

Long story short, everyone's different.

I can tell you that I had a friend who was in your situation. She was 15, 32A, hardly developed. Then, when she finally got her period that year her breasts grew 2 cup sizes over night. Literally. Now, she might just have been weird, but it just goes to show that there's always hope.

If it doesn't come by the time you're 16, there may be a medical problem. Otherwise, wait it out. We can't make our bodies do what they're not ready to do.

Q: So, for a while now I just haven't been myself. In highschool I was "the guy" in a lot of ways. I was my school council president, valedictorian, I organized youth leadership programs and I loved doing it all. I had a strong passion for cinema, I just loved going to the theatre or watching movies at home. I actually loved cinema so much that I eft my hometown to go to Toronto to attend Ryerson University for film production. I was charismatic, funny and outgoing (If I may be so bold to say).

But now, I have become so introverted and have lost essentially all of my confidence as well as any genuine emotion or ability to get excited abut anything. The only real thing I can actually feel is what I guess you would call shame, or self-doubt, which often leads to anger if not sadness. I went to the Dr's for a blood test hoping that there would be a partial biological reason for this (thyroid, or testosterone maybe), but the results came back saying I was completely healthy. I also haven't felt a genuine attraction for anyone in well over a year, almost two years now. And as much as I desire to be with someone again, the first thing I usually tell myself is "there's no way she would be interested in you anyways" or "you're not interesting enough for her". I'm in a constant state of desire and dissatisfaction.

I now experience the same confidence issue with my work. In the film industry, like most careers, to succeed you need, among other things, to be ambitious and talented. i've reached a point where i am completely stifling myself creatively because the only thing I can seem to tell myself is that I'm not creative enough to succeed. Or my perspective or voice is not unique enough. Film has no longer become exciting for me, it's just something that Im doing. But I don't htink that's how I truly feel about it. i think it is what I want to do.

In my third year of university I started dating this girl and it took off from the get-go. It was a relationship that, in retrospect, was doomed to fail. It was my first real relationship and although everything seemed to be going great, it didn't turn out so well. It was my fourth year, my final year, and we had just finished filming my girlfriends thesis production, and we were set to start production on my film in only a couple days. I had forty thousand dollars, twenty of my own twenty through grants offered by the school, riding on my thesis. And three days before we were supposed to start we had to cancel due to weather. Then the next day when I asked my gf to come over and then with no reason she broke up with me.

This started what I like to call my year of hell. Everything just went downhill from here. My girlfriend, now ex, was my production designer for my film, which was now drastically behind schedule, and for some reason i decided to keep her on. In this time, I walked in on her with the guy who shot her movie, who was supposed to be my camera man. She got appendicitis, I stayed with her in the hospital. I then found out she had been cheating on me for months with different guys. And I just didn't handle it all very well, became a person I didn't really enjoy very much. There are a lot of things that happened in this time, but I wont go into detail. It was just a year of bad luck and bad times.

When the year was over, I cam back home, found a good job, but when it was over I found out that all my childhood friends, guys I grew up with, had "given up" on me because I worked too much. Not soon after that I had a falling out with my childhood mentor and now no longer have him as a friend. I was working with my dad doing electrical work and was completely depressed doing it. I decided to move back to Toronto and here I am.

I know that a lot of this is fall out from what happened to me, but the thing is i just dont know how to deal with it now. I remember what it was like getting excited about things, enjoying people's company, being able to make conversation with absolutely anyone, and I just want to be able to do that again. The thing is too that when I am at work I am able to be positive and sociable, but when I go home its like someone hits a switch and I just turn off. I dread weekends because i live alone and don't really have any friends here to do things with. So i usually end up just staying in, watching movies or doing whatever. And I just know I am missing out on so much. Always being scared or self-depricating is just so tiring. I want to be able to genuinely enjoy life but it seems like I have completely forgotten how. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them. And if not, I at least got to write this out.

Thanks

Best possible suggestion for you right now? Go get counselling.

You may not be clinically depressed, but you are definitely exhibiting symptoms. A counselor can help to identify problems and work with you to find solutions, whether they be chemical or even just coping tactics.

You have a few options. Unfortunately, as I know from experience, it's difficult to find a psychiatrist who is covered by OHIP, and they're usually swamped, but they are out there. Otherwise you can pay one or have it covered by private insurance. Another option is counseling by a social worker. Not quite as expensive, but they can't prescribe medication. If cost is an issue, Catholic Family Services offers counseling on a sliding scale based on what you can pay. Despite the name, it can be non-religious.

Whatever you do, don't give up. Life isn't supposed to be like what you're experiencing right now. You can get out of the rut you're in, but it will take some work.

Try to make some connections that you aren't being paid for. Volunteer work is a great way to add a new social circle and a sense of fulfillment to your life.

If it's any consolation, during my battles with my mental illness, I lost contact with all my friends, stopped taking interest in just about everything and pretty much wanted to sit in a dark room until I died. It's taken some time, but I'm back to my previous bubbly, happy, life-loving state.

You can pull out of this. I promise.

Q: I'm a female.

I'm currently 230lbs, size 18/20, measurements around 50-41-51, I'm 5ft8in.

Yes, I realize whatever the number it's a God's awful plenty, and that as I lose weight I may decide I look better bigger or smaller than a 10/12, but that's just a rough idea of the girls I admire and their shapes. They tend to fall into the size 12 category, like...

size 10
http://sheltergirl.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-size-10-looks-like.html

size 12
http://www.acurvydiva.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/jen-hunter-make-me-supermodel.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/07_01/12MS_500x752.jpg

Yes, I also realize I won't look like them. Like I said, I'm just trying to get a nice rough idea of how long the journey ahead of me is. :)

Here's the thing: it all depends on what your build is like.

At 240, I'm a size 18, 5'8", measurements 47 - 35 - 49. I'm a fairly curvy gal. When I last lost weight, it took me until 170 to hit a size 12 skirt. I never got out of size 14 pants.

Do you have a lot of muscle? Do you tend to carry your weight evenly or to pile it on in weird places?

You've got the right attitude. Keep it sustainable and aim for healthy and happy. Make sure to exercise at least a little: toning your body will help you to carry the weight you do have much more gracefully.

Q: what if you are having second thoughts about getting married.

I think it all depends on what sort of second thoughts you're having.

Getting married is a scary thing. I should know: I'm taking the leap in just under 2 months, and I've had my fair share of pre-wedding panic.

If you're not sure about the person you're marrying, then you should think about pushing back the date. You want to make sure you know them completely and love them for who they are, and to know that they will treat you well forever and stick by you through thick and thin.

If you're not sure about being married, that's absolutely normal. I've been coached through a fair number of freak-outs. My name changing. Brushing my teeth next to the same guy for the next 60 years. Being a wife. Knowing that once you're married, you can't go back to how you were before. It's a big, permanent, terrifying thing, but if you know the person is the right one it's not a problem. It's like any big change: going away to university, moving across the country, having a child. Incredibly stressful but incredibly rewarding.

Q: Okay, first off I am a teen and my boyfriends mom "monitors " our chats and ... well everything ( think what you want, I have my opinions too) Anyways she has a security type system that alerts her when we say certain things, and according to Jan (his mom) Angel and Horse are "CODE" talk.... I have googled it and everything and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. I don't see how angel is a CODE word for anything??? Please PLEASE help!!!

Horse is an easy one. It's a well known slang term for heroin.

As for angel... I've found a few possibilities. One is a sex act (censored :D) and another is "a person who does a lot of drugs".

Q: 16/F
I'll be taking a plane to California in July and staying for about a week in a half. And I have a few questions seeing as this is my first time on a plane, and my first time traveling ANYWHERE. My parents will not be going with me.

*What is allowed on the plane?
I'm aware I'm going to have to pour my shampoo into those little plastic see-thru containers you can get from Target. But what about everything else?
*I plan on shaving my legs. Is a razer allowed in my bagage?
Probably not, but I'm just gonna double check before I go out and buy a disposable one when I get to California.
*Do I need to squeese tooth paste in one of those see-thru tubes?
*Am I allowed to bring my cell phone with me on the plane?
I doubt it will work on the plane, but I'm not comfortable with leaving it in my luggage. If it's not on my person I'm way too paranoid it will brake/get lost/get stolen/etc.
*What about iPod to listen to on the plane?
*Also, my phone charger? Will that be allowed on the plane?
*My mom was elling me about how my ears will pop bad when we land, and it's hard getting them unpopped. Any tips on how to cure that?

Basically anything about plane traveling and any tips you have are greatly appreciated.

-----

Now, for clothing to wear when I get there.
I know I'll be walking a lot and visiting places while I'm staying there.
I'm overweight and after a day of a lot of walking in a dress, my thighs are extremely raw/burned/rub burned. So I need to limit my dress wearing.
*I'd like to get shorts that come to just below the knee, or even just a little above is alright. But I can never seem find any that are flattering. Suggestions?
I also plan to be getting a few capris from Old Navy, and I can never find the kind of shorts I'm looking for. Denim only.

I'll be going to Disneyland. I've never been to Disneyland/wold before, and I'm not sure what kind of rides they have.
*I'd like to get a bra that supports me and won't make me pop out during the day, and any future amusment park days. I was thinking a sports bra? But I feel like that will make me look saggy (36D). Ideas? Maybe a good bra with a sports bra on top?

Any other ideas/suggestions/whatever is welcomed! Thank you.

To find out what is allowed on the plane, check the website for the particular airline you're on. One thing that's universal is no aerosols whatsoever. So hairspray and some sunscreens won't be allowed, even in your checked baggage.

As long as you don't put your shampoo and toothpaste in your carry-on, there aren't any special rules. If you are going to bring any liquids with you on the plane, they have to be under 3 oz in size and they have to fit in a large Ziploc bag. Razors can go in your checked baggage, but not in your carry-on.

You are allowed to bring your cell phone, but they will ask that you turn it off for the flight, as cellular devices can mess with the airplane's controls and communications systems.

Definitely bring an MP3 player. If you don't have noise-isolating headphones, I'd get a pair of those, too (you can get them pretty cheap at Walmart). That way if you get stuck next to a screaming baby, you have some relief.

Charger cables are fine to bring as well. They may ask you to prove that any electronics are functional, so make sure they're all charged before you go.

To help your ears pop when taking off and landing, gum is the best. Chew it continuously and you won't get the huge ear pop. If you get motion sick, Wintogreen Life Savers are, well... life savers!

Now, for clothing to wear when I get there.
I know I'll be walking a lot and visiting places while I'm staying there.
I'm overweight and after a day of a lot of walking in a dress, my thighs are extremely raw/burned/rub burned. So I need to limit my dress wearing.
*I'd like to get shorts that come to just below the knee, or even just a little above is alright. But I can never seem find any that are flattering. Suggestions?
I also plan to be getting a few capris from Old Navy, and I can never find the kind of shorts I'm looking for. Denim only.

To find out more about Disneyland, check out their website. It has a list of all the rides and maps so you can get an idea of distance and start planning how you'll hit up the park.

Sports bras are pretty terrible, support-wise for us better endowed ladies. Unless you get a really good, really expensive one, you're going to sag and that will make your back hurt like crazy. If you're concerned about popping out, get a fuller-coverage bra. This is my favourite... not particularly sexy, but extremely comfortable and practical:

http://www.playtexbras.com/bras/styles/4138/

Old Navy has tons of shorts in different lengths. There's a 7 inch inseam, a 10 inch inseam and a 12 inch inseam. I'm not sure what other stores you have nearby, so I can't really make recommendations otherwise.

If you want to wear dresses but hate the leg rub, try picking up a pair of bike shorts to wear underneath. Problem solved!

Unfortunately there's not much you can do to prevent your luggage being lost other than making sure it has the right tags. It's the airline's fault, not the owner's. If it does get lost, you can talk to the courtesy desk for the airline at the airport, and they will arrange to find it. My mother lost hers in Chile before a cruise and managed to get it in time, so don't worry too much.

In a carry-on, I bring a change or two of clothes (in case of lost luggage), all essential medicine (in its original bottle, or else they won't let you take it), any valuables that I'm bringing with me, all electronics, a book or two, my ID and my MP3 player. Pretty much, I bring anything that is too fragile/important to be trusted to my checked baggage.

Have fun!

Q: Hello, I'm 16, female. I've never had sex so being pregnant; not an option. My period comes not very irregularly but my mom always is like "oh, it never comes on the 7th of every month to the 14th?" Or something like that, sometimes I'll get it at the begining of the month or the end of the month to the begining of the next. I checked my planner from during the school year and two months ago it was the 6th to the 13th. Sometimes it doesn't even last a whole week. Why is my period so weird?
Tomorrow I'm goimg to Creation Fest and I don't know what to do because I don't know definately when its coming. What should I do?

The average period is supposed to last 5 days or so and have a cycle time of 28 days. That means that there would be a shift, so it won't show up every month on the same date. Then again, there really is no such thing as an average period. Every woman is different. The longer you have your period, the better you'll get to know your body's rhythms.

As for what to do for a music festival, make sure you bring backup protection, and a little packet of baby wipes to keep yourself clean.

Q: 18/F

I'm getting married in August :) My fiance is in the Navy and will be training as a SEAL here soon. After we're married we will only have 10 days together before he leaves and goes to training. Then 2 days later I go back to college. With all his training it's going to be really hard see each other. Basically our first year of marriage will be spent apart. I'll see him at his boot camp graduationa and possibly Christmas. Then he goes to BUDS for 6 months and I won't be able to see him then. I'm just worried about how I'm going to be able to cope and handle being away from him that long. We'll be together for 4 years this September. I have my college while he's gone so I know that will keep my semi busy. I just need advice on how to keep myself from going into depression from not seeing him. I know someone who cut themselves because their husband was gone and I really don't want to go down that path. So I basically just need some things to keep my occupied while he's gone. I'm going to be making a scrapbook while he's away so I'm hoping that'll help some. Any suggestions would be great! Sorry it's so long!

My fiance is in the reserves and actually just had to leave for 2.5 months really suddenly, so I know a bit about this stuff.

First off, try to establish a routine. I try to keep everything fairly stable for myself. It keeps you from just sitting on the couch crying with Ben and Jerry's and The Notebook. I force myself to cook and eat three meals a day, to keep the house spotless, to work out regularly and to take care of our pets really well. I basically make sure that I fill my time with productive stuff instead of lazing around on the internet all day. This also helps you to establish a life of your own, which keeps you from mooning about and living only for the moment that he comes home. Yes, it sucks when our guys are gone, but that doesn't mean we have to go into hibernation. We've got a life to live!

Secondly, you need to pick up a hobby. Something that takes up a lot of time and that you can really sink your teeth into. In past summers I've taught myself how to knit and crochet. This summer I'm doing a needlepoint project and teaching myself how to use a sewing machine. Those are just things I've done, but you could try language classes, a random class at your local community college, a sports league, woodworking, or anything else. It helps to have a goal other than DAY HE COMES HOME!!!! in mind for yourself.

Thirdly, and probably most importantly, keep in touch with people. Have a good support network. Make sure you see your friends or family on at least a weekly basis.

The scrapbook is a cute idea, but beware. Spending your time on a thing for him for when he comes home will lead you to focus on that particular date. It will seem like a million years from now, and that will depress you (been there, done that). Go ahead and scrapbook away, but don't let that be your only diversion!

Remember, marriage isn't about having one life. It's about two lives moving side by side. Don't neglect your life just because his is moving along at a geographical distance from yours. Take care of yourself :)

Q: I need to lose 15-20 pounds in about 20 days I need exercises I can do inside and healthy eating habits please bc I kinda have no will power I've been trying to chew gum to get my mind off the food

Sure, you can lose 15-20 lbs in 20 days. You'll need a saw and crutches, because you'd have to cut off one of your legs.

It's not possible.

Missmietze is actually mistaken. It's not 500 calories per pound... it's 3500 calories per pound. So let's say you're an average female (guessing) and you need to eat about 1500 calories a day to keep your current weight. That means that you would have to stop eating entirely AND burn 2000 calories a day (which is about 2 hours on an elliptical) just to have a chance. And that wouldn't even work, because your body will shut down and stop losing weight because giant warning signs go off telling it that you're starving yourself.

Healthy weight loss happens at a maximum of 1-2 lbs per week. You may be able to lose more with a crash diet, but the moment you go off it I can guarantee that you'll gain it all back and then some within a week. Trust me, I've been there.

Exercises to do inside: You can usually get exercise DVDs at Wal-Mart or somewhere similar for 10 dollars or less. They may be corny, but they're fun and it takes the guess-work out of exercising in the home. Anything by Jillian Michaels is fantastic.

Healthy eating habits: Don't cut out junk food entirely, or else you'll end up binging on it in a weak moment. Just eat it in moderation (I have a rule where I'm allowed sweets after dinner only). Don't starve yourself. If you're hungry, eat. Stick to high fibre foods (they keep you full longer) and make sure you're getting enough protein so that your body doesn't start metabolizing your muscles. Veggies and dip is a great snack. So is a piece of fruit and a piece of cheese (having both together will help keep you full longer). Try to keep your salt intake down, and cut out drinks except for water. And that's about it.

Q: Okay, so I haven't started my period, I'm 13 and I've tried putting a tampon in, it hurts so bad and I am afraid that I am way too small down there, and when I do get it out, it HURTS. I have tried fingering and it hurts so bad and it doesn't feel good at all. Is this unusual?

(Alison, Mississippi)

Gah! Of COURSE it'll hurt if you're not actually on your period!

What makes it easy for things to go in and out of you is the fluid that your body creates. Without proper lubrication, inserting and removing things can be really painful.

Tampons are made to, well, absorb fluid. When you put one in without being on your period, it will very quickly absorb the fluid that is in you and stick to the walls of your vagina. That hurts like crazy when you try to take it out. Same goes for if you use a tampon that's too high absorbency for your flow.

Also, keep in mind that you're young, and that your body still has some growing to do. And some women are rather narrow in general. We're all made with the ability to deliver babies, though, so don't worry: when the time comes, you will be able to fit whatever you need to down there. You just might need a little extra lubrication.

Q: I am deathly afraid of shots and i have to get 7th grade shots!!!! I am so scared!!! i would rather not eat for 3 days than get a shot!! anyone have anything to get my mind of this or what is a tecniqe to use so i get distracted?

Don't look at the needle, or you'll freak out. Turn your head the other way, and let the nurse know that you're really bad with needles. They've seen lots of people who are afraid, and they'll have some good tips for you.

Try chatting with the nurse, or with a friend, or count backwards from 100, or remember the words to your favourite song. Before you know it, it will all be over!

Q: Okay so I am a cheerleader and I want to kno. Which tampon works best for being a flyer. I am lookin between playtex sport and kotex. Which one is better?? And if you have one that works even better just say. Normal flow not too heavy bu some days it is a little heavy. I am 98 pounds and I am 5' 2". Thank you!!! :)

I'm no cheerleader, but I did do karate for years and I found that every brand is about the same. Leaks are going to happen at some time or another when you're using tampons. I'd suggest using a liner in combination, if you can.

If you have a variable flow and you move around a lot I'd definitely suggest the menstrual cup (I'm a DivaCup fan). It's very soft and flexible, I've never had a leakage problem and they're very eco-friendly as well as body-friendly. There's a certain 'ick' factor involved, but you get over it pretty darn fast. You can leave it in for up to 12 hours no matter how heavy your flow is, then you just empty it, rinse it off and pop it back in. Takes a little getting used to, but once you get the hang of it you will wonder how you ever lived without it.

Q: So I thought of having a road trip for my 18th birthday (which is on January) along with a couple of my friends.

So I was wondering if you guys have any tips on what fun things to do or what kind of places to visit (like clubs, tourist spots, etc.) or should I make it an overnight thing and stay in a hotel?

Idk, basically everything. Never had a road trip birthday party before, but it kind of seems like a fun idea. So please, share what you know? Pretty please with a cherry on top

We don't know where you live, so it's pretty hard to make specific recommendations.

Playing tourist in your own area can be a lot of fun. Check out your area's tourism site for ideas.

Camping is a great idea, and there are some fantastic national parks out there. S'mores and weenie roasts are a great way to spend time together.

If you want to stay in a hotel, you may hit some limitations. Usually, hotels require everyone in the room to be over 18, or if someone is under 18 there has to be someone 21 or over unless there are parents staying in the hotel as well. Be prepared to show ID at the door.

Q: Ok...So last friday there was this pool party at my friend esmereldas house...&& i noticed my boyfriend Julio, && my best friend go into the bathroom together...I heard screaming && moaning...so i slammed the door open...Then i seen them havin sex...&& i started cryin' But then my bf said "Hey bbi yu wanna join" I said "Fuck yu"...&& Ran off...My bestie told me she waz sryy...But i still hate her..&& Julio.!!>:(( Wht do i do.?!! Please please help me.! :'(

Ditch them both, and if you've been having any sexual contact with him get yourself tested for STIs. You've caught him being a dirty ho-bag once. Who knows what else he's done that you don't know about.

You can't trust him, and you can't trust her. There's no point in having friends that you can't trust. They're both scummy for doing that to you.

Q: Hey have you guys heard that when you wear a rubber band and snap it on you it gets ride of a thought or idea. Aparantly its supposed to get ride of the idea and if you do it enough times it stops the idea completely. Does this actually work?

It doesn't so much stop the thought as it does stop the cycle.

Let's say that you're a smoker who wants to quit. Normally, you crave a cigarette, then go get one and smoke it without thinking. You might chain-smoke a whole pack unconsciously.

What the rubber band trick does is force an interruption in patterns. Next time you notice yourself craving a cigarette, you snap the rubber band on your wrist. That makes you consciously think about the fact that you're craving a cigarette, and you are then able to say "No. I will not smoke. I acknowledge the craving, but I'm not going to act on it."

The same trick works for lots of negative thought patterns and habits.

So no, it won't make the thought go away. It just makes you take notice of it so that you can deal with it.

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My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.