|
Things to do while Fiance is away training for the Military
18/F
I'm getting married in August :) My fiance is in the Navy and will be training as a SEAL here soon. After we're married we will only have 10 days together before he leaves and goes to training. Then 2 days later I go back to college. With all his training it's going to be really hard see each other. Basically our first year of marriage will be spent apart. I'll see him at his boot camp graduationa and possibly Christmas. Then he goes to BUDS for 6 months and I won't be able to see him then. I'm just worried about how I'm going to be able to cope and handle being away from him that long. We'll be together for 4 years this September. I have my college while he's gone so I know that will keep my semi busy. I just need advice on how to keep myself from going into depression from not seeing him. I know someone who cut themselves because their husband was gone and I really don't want to go down that path. So I basically just need some things to keep my occupied while he's gone. I'm going to be making a scrapbook while he's away so I'm hoping that'll help some. Any suggestions would be great! Sorry it's so long!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
My fiance is in the reserves and actually just had to leave for 2.5 months really suddenly, so I know a bit about this stuff.
First off, try to establish a routine. I try to keep everything fairly stable for myself. It keeps you from just sitting on the couch crying with Ben and Jerry's and The Notebook. I force myself to cook and eat three meals a day, to keep the house spotless, to work out regularly and to take care of our pets really well. I basically make sure that I fill my time with productive stuff instead of lazing around on the internet all day. This also helps you to establish a life of your own, which keeps you from mooning about and living only for the moment that he comes home. Yes, it sucks when our guys are gone, but that doesn't mean we have to go into hibernation. We've got a life to live!
Secondly, you need to pick up a hobby. Something that takes up a lot of time and that you can really sink your teeth into. In past summers I've taught myself how to knit and crochet. This summer I'm doing a needlepoint project and teaching myself how to use a sewing machine. Those are just things I've done, but you could try language classes, a random class at your local community college, a sports league, woodworking, or anything else. It helps to have a goal other than DAY HE COMES HOME!!!! in mind for yourself.
Thirdly, and probably most importantly, keep in touch with people. Have a good support network. Make sure you see your friends or family on at least a weekly basis.
The scrapbook is a cute idea, but beware. Spending your time on a thing for him for when he comes home will lead you to focus on that particular date. It will seem like a million years from now, and that will depress you (been there, done that). Go ahead and scrapbook away, but don't let that be your only diversion!
Remember, marriage isn't about having one life. It's about two lives moving side by side. Don't neglect your life just because his is moving along at a geographical distance from yours. Take care of yourself :)
]
Hi,
I really know the way you feel … I was going to the same little bit different, I worked in Europe and my fiancé was here… anyway!!!
What you can do is take all you time to focus on the college, spend time with your family and your soon husband family, and you will see how the time will fly, (what I did was to open a note page in my computer so I can ride down what I do beside working, and a lot of picture…) so when your soon husband come back home you will show him the pictures you guys will have lot of fun looking at , maybe change the house/apt little bit something new, keep a lot of picture of him around in the house it will make you feel good . I wish you the best and good luck in everything!
God bless you both , hope my advice help you :-)
]
More Questions: |