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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Whenever I seen my friends brother he would playfully hit on me and hint that we should date. Eventually I started subtly flirting back and one day he decided to act on it by picking me up and taking me to his house. As soon as we got there he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck passionately... He was the sweetest guy ever. He held me in a tight embrace and we hit it off instantly as we talked all night on his couch. Ever since then we've been seeing eachother, secretly. We've been going out for meals, watching movies and hold hands whenever we have the chance. After the last time I could tell that he is smitten by me and I feel the same about him. He told me I've been the first lady he has wanted to spend time with in about 7 years. He was married before and hasn't been with anybody since, so I don't want to disappoint him if he wants to become serious - I want him to be happy. The only thing I'm kind of worried about is losing a friend if I date her brother. Part of me says that she should be happy for us because I've been in her shoes and let my brother date my best friend before and we still liked eachother. The other part of me says she's going to hate me and we're not going to be friends anymore. Honestly, I just wish her brother and I could see eachother without her drama. Drama follows her and sometimes we both need a break from her... Am I being too selfish? They're not blood related, What would you do?
No matter that they are step brother and sister, they are still family. So if ultimately you were to marry this guy, unless the dating didnt span out, then you would go from not just being her friend but now also being a sister in law. I don't see that is anything other than a plus. YOu are still the same person, but now she can count you as family. If she liked you enough to be a friend, then I dont see what issues she could possibly have unless she has said something to you or perhaps your friendship was on rocky ground long before you had an interest in her brother.
I assume I am correct in believing this to be the man you've written about before who you mentioned had a 3 yr old and was in custody battle with the ex.
Even without marriage, just in dating, there will be family related occasions for get togethers and since you would be each others significant other, his family members and what ever issues they come with is going to affect your relationship, you can't escape it. It will either cause him to learn he must take a stand, support you and demand you recieve respect and better treatment if someone is treating you poorly whether your girl friend or another family member. Or he may choose to wimp out, say nothing and allow someone to run all over your feelings which can cause you to avoid any of his family, feeling resentful that he can see his family, but you must remain home, and resentful that he would even consider hanging with them over you. Over time, that can drive a wedge in your relationship with him and cause problems that can grow.
It is best that you talk to him now of your fears of what could possibly happen. Give him some time to think about how he would react and handle it if it were so. Don't lead him or give him the solution....wait to see what he says. If he thinks it isn't a big deal cus it isn't an issue right now and may never become one, you can agree with him that it is not an issue now but you are still in the building trust stage with him and want to get a feel of how he would handle it and if he would support you or not.
I believe that the perfect boyfriend, domestic partner, or lover and husband start out as being your best friend. You can have more than one best friend, females ones, and one special guy. As your best friend, that man should be backing you up, supporting and reassuring you, standing up for you, etc... just like any female friend would. The only extra is that he becomes your lover as well. I can tell from what you've written that you have the lovers part down...but I know nothing of how strong a friendship there is. If you can talk as easily as you hint at, then there should be no problem telling him of your worries. His response should not be to put you down but to reassure you, not tell you that you worry too much cus it is a very important thing to not want to lose your friendship with her. The man you want to hopefully end up with the rest of your life should be someone you can confide all your thoughts in, your imaginings, good or bad, and therefore any worries or concerns, with him open to and actually wanting to know what weighs on your mind so heavily because he loves you so much he wants to be able to help share the burdon and comfort and reassure that you two will talk again and come up with a plan of action IF any problems arise with his step sister. Thats the kind of husband I have and I could never settle for less again. I hope that he is this for you. Don't over think it for now. You have a normal concern. What I think you need more right now is some good deep conversation with him about your concerns and see what his response to it is. Is it the kind of man such as I have or is he other, and lacking in understanding and support and you don't feel any trust in him. Without trust, you are standing on shaky ground for a relationship. It just may be that building trust with him right now may be the bigger issue than the possibility of how your friend will react.
I hope you don't find me too forward to attempt reading into this. I may be totally wrong, please forgive me if i AM. But if there is any truth to what I say, then it is important to look at this area of the relationship. Dont worry if trust isnt where it should be yet. It takes lots of time to build it but there should be several examples already of things he has done right to make 'deposits' into the bank account of trust.
17f
I got my driver's license when I turned 16, like most kids do. While I enjoyed the freedom of being able to go wherever I wanted, I was always really anxious while I was driving. Then I got into a minor car accident several months ago. Everyone said I should try driving again, so I did. I kept driving for a few more months, but I was even more anxious than before and it really stressed me out.
Eventually I just started asking my parents and friends for drives, or I would walk or bike. It's been months since I've driven a car. I'm involved in a lot of activities, and I know I'm a burden to my parents. My dad keeps asking me when I'm going to start driving again, and I just keep saying that I don't want to drive, but he won't stop. Now he's looking into buying a new, smaller car that would be easier for me to drive. I know he's worried about me never driving again and he wants to do what's best for me, but I just don't want to drive!
How can I get my dad to understand this and stop nagging me to get back behind the wheel?
By your age, I Figure your dad is a bit younger than I but still he learned to drive during a time (like I did)
when there weren't as many cars on the road, drivers were more courteous,
road rage was almost non existant,
and people did not engage in risky driving such as riding the bumper of other cars, switching lanes to race to get ahead of the car in front, constantly swerving.
So your dad needs to realize that by time he got to todays version of drivers on the road and the huge amount of cars, he had a lot of driving experience and a very honed instinct on what to look for, how to anticipate a risky or stupid move by other drivers and a natural instinct to make a split second decision on how to avoid an accident. One decision might seem good but end up worse than if you had gone the other way. I have driven since I turned 16, and I can't tell you how many near misses I have had on the freeway and on arterial streets. All stupid moves by the other driver and if I had not made the evasive decision in a split second, it would have been too late and I would either by now have survived several accidents with totalled cars, or been dead. Twice in my life I have almost had a semi run me off the road, one on a freeway, one on an arterial, even though I was following the rules on how to drive around a semi. I have 3 daughters and when they turned 16, they had no want to rush getting a license, they all waited until they hit about age 20, 21 to begin driving, a time when they felt more self assured and mature and ready to handle what might come their way on the roads. My youngest is 22 and is in no hurry to learn. The middle daughter has already experienced near misses in accidents and my oldest has been in one accident not her fault. Yes, having your own car is convenient but yes it is also stressful.
I find myself even with all my driving skills over the years to feel more anxious asa the level of cars on the roads increase and rush hour is no longer a couple hours per day but about 18 hours per day. the only time there are less cars on the road now is from 11 pm to 5 am, a time when most of us is sleeping, therefore we all have to drive in 'rush hour' traffic just to go grocery shopping or to a dr. appt.
There is no rush for you to drive but keep in mind that knowing how to drive once you are a mother is alot less hassle than waiting for a bus with buggy and diaper bag to take baby to its check ups or god forbid if it become seriously ill and needed to go to emergeny at a time husband was not at home. And then there is the grocery shopping. If you choose not to drive to work once you're out of school and have a job, thats actually smart. But you will at some point find having a car and able to drive it when you have a child and even more than one, to be a God send and the pro's of convenience to toting kids around to the con's of driving in todays traffic has a good chance of winning. And is worth the risk.
I can tell you this, I have never had to avoid an accident while on an errand to take a child to the Dr. or go grocery shopping, its always been during work commute, even the arterial street events.
To your dad, I might sound like I am trying to talk you out of driving totally. No...I feel that our decision making abilities mature as we grow older since our brain doesnt complete development in the pre frontal cortex until at least the mid 20's. And that is why I am glad my daughters waited to begin driving. You can afford at your age to wait too. As long as you know how to drive and keep up some minimal driving on errands so you don't get rusty, I see nothing wrong with your choices.
So just let Dad know that if he insists on getting you a car that for the most part, you are going to let it sit and use it only rarely. I would suggest non holiday weekends to keep up your driving skills cus there is lots less traffic on the road. I highly recommend this minimal amount of driving because I know a few people who had car issues/repair and couldn't drive for a long time, and then couldn't afford to pay driver license renewal, and now that they have a functioning car and license again and have felt too much time has gone by where they didn't drive and are now actually afraid and paranoid to do so and they never had any accidents,,its just the amount of time not spent driving that caused them to not want to drive anymore. I know one such mom with 4 kids was asking me for lots of rides until I said no. 5 passengers in my car to take her grocery shopping? She will have to walk or use a bus. See what I mean about keeping up your ability to drive for later when you have kids?
I'm 14 years old and I think I might be depressed. Ever since I moved almost a year ago I've been upset. At first I cut my arms and made suicudal abd dark drawings and poems (although I'm not suicidal). I haven't cut in months though, I think I'm over that. I'm still very depressed though. I look at depressing pictures to see who else is depressed so I don't feel alone, I cry my self to sleep every single night, I dread going back to school in September because I don't like anyone. Two or three people try to talk to me but I don't like them. I spend my days in my room reading or surfing the internet. The only time I leave the house is to go to the library for more books. To top it all off I'm fat. It's not just in my mind either, I'm 5 feet and 150 pounds. I'm trying to lose some, but cravings get the best of me, so there goes my self-esteem. What can I do? I don't want to talk to my parents. I don't feel comfortable talking to them, we never sit down and talk so it makes me feel awakward and even just talking to them gets my social anxiety started. They don't take me seriously anyway.
Its tough when there's no conversational intimacy established before the teen years. But you will need to talk to someone. Perhaps there is a grandmother, aunt or even a cousin who is an adult who will listen. If there's no one in that circle, then you need to speak with a school counselor or nurse.
I have been finding that a lot of teen depression, personality changes and such are happening around the time that puberty hits and worsens as the months go by and end up being a year or more in existance before the person suffering or a family member notices something wrong.
The reason I stress the importance of talking to someone is that you need to be seen by a doctor and have your hormone levels checked.
In a great many cases, the problem behind issues such as yours especially at the younger teen puberty age range, is due to extremely high hormone levels. Your body will naturally release hormones at a certain age, but from birth, your body has been absorbing the same hormones, synthetic though, from our highly polluted environment...theres no way to avoid it. I have two nieces in two different states from two different sisters who are both around your age and both are having these same issues and when seen by a doctor, their hormones levels are too high. Hormone levels that are too low can also cause problems but its more common than a girls female hormones are too high. A doctor can give a prescription for at least the duration of the teen years until your natural hormone levels tone down and hopefully you won't need the medication after, only in some extreme cases perhaps.
You need to talk to another adult you trust, tell them what you have heard about elevated levels of hormones in teen girls causing these issues and want to get checked out to see if that is the issue. If it isn't and you have depression due to other reasons, then the doctor can still prescribe something to help you. Its not your fault you feel this way. You need a doctors help to begin feeling normal again and that should give you a chance at getting a more happy normal life back. Good luck dear and let me know how it goes.
21/f
I'm on the Microgestin. The one with the brown pills for the last week. I've called my doctor and they told me that I was able to skip my periods but they couldn't guarantee that it would work the first time and it sometimes takes a few times for it to work for some people.
I skipped the brown placebo pills twice and each month I've been having blood breakthroughs and if I were on my period. It stops the week before my period is supposed to start and then it starts again the week of my placebo pills.
Do you think my body isn't meant to skip periods and I should go in and ask about another method? Or do you think I should try again the third time to see?
None of us are doctors on here, but it doesn't take a person with a degree to realize that altering the normal function of a body is prone to have problems.
Yes, having a period can be quite tedious, embarrassing at times, a messy business, uncomfortable and a royal nuisance but that is how God created our bodies. to attempt to totally stop having a period or lessen the length of a period is possible due to medical knowledge these days but they can not predict whose body will react favorably to that or not. In most cases, woman who take any hormonal birth control have some kind of side effect, one they feel they can put up with and others who have too many and quit taking birth control.
Heres the questions for you to answer to know what to do:
Am I trying to stop my period from coming totally cus I dont want it to come at an inconvenient time when I might want to be having sex? If this is the reason...get off the hormonal stuff and go for the Paragard IUD, the only thing I know of that uses copper instead of hormones to prevent pregnancy. I used it, my mom did. No problems or side effects. Yes, you will still get your monthly cycle. If periods during sex is the issue, and you have a boy friend who doesnt like that, you can either wait until you're over it, or if like many women you are more horny during your period and don't want to miss out, find a guy who doesnt mind the period flow. Other than the heaviest day, the flow will actually stop for a while when you begin to have sex and the flow restarts about 10-15 minutes after you are done. I am a testament to that. A young guy your age without much experience yet may be grossed out by the thought but once he experiences something like this may end up liking it alot and actually looking forward to it as men in my life have. The extra lubrication is great they say. Plus its not smelly or as messy as one may think.
If you are merely wanting to prevent pregnancy, then either take something that allows a week for your body to have a period, or like i mentioned, go for the Paragard.
If using the pill and taking it regularly is hard to remember, use the time on your cell or iphone as a reminder. taken regularly should take care of most break through bleeding unless your body just can't handle the prescription to begin with.
If it were me, counting on a pill to keep me from being pregnant and having such problems with it so I can never be sure if I am really covered against pregnancy or not, I wouldn't bother with it cus the stress of unexpected bleeding and possible pregnancy wouldnt be worth it to me.
I know at 21 u arent thinking about kids yet. But for the future, if you think theres a chance you may want to have kids wiht the right man, and you dont want to have problems getting pregnant due to use of hormonal birth control, then you may want to get off it now and start the Paragard, that or get fitted for a diaphragm and use with spermicide. It is okay, no hormonal effects but I got pregnant with my 2nd because thats what I was using then. With the first, I was using paragard cus we wanted to wait 5 yrs or more. aT the 6ish yr mark we had the Paragard removed and after a month or two got pregnant.
Do the research yourself. Read up on all the different birth controls and their side effects, if the cons outweigh the pro's then its not the b est choice. You can find info on all these things on line. If you have trouble locating them, let me know which ones you want to research and I'll find you links to websites. Do not let a doctor decide for you what is best for you in birth control. This is your reproductive system. Take the control into your hands and do the research, then talk to a doctor and make your decision.
How do you stop yourself from loving someone ? :( like is it possible to love someone your not with your whole life ?
Miss Piggy explained it well. I will try another idea to get a point across. You can be angry at a person and want to pick a fight with them, either a verbal one or a physical one, but the fight never gets going if the other person doesnt respond back. Yes they catch a punch or may be hurt by your words but they can choose to avoid you and disappear so without them around to actively let your anger out on to punch or assault with words, nothing will ever come from it. You can want to have a fight with them all your life for some imagined wrong or whatever...but after enough time has gone by, even the want to have a fight with them will slowly dissipate as you are removed from the situation.
Same thing as the love that isn't returned, one cant really have that being in love relationship until the other responds. Until then, it... like anger is just an emotion in your heart that your sub conscious mind is trying to keep alive. You must re- focus your mind on something else each time memory of this person comes up. Basically you need to retrain your subconscious mind to let go. Talk to yourself and state aloud that though you love this person, the love is not returned so it is fruitless to continue to hold a love for the person forever. Fond memories...yes, but love....no. Tell yourself aloud each time that person comes to mind to stop thinking of him. It will occur more often than you think and you will weary yourself will reminding yourself umpteen times a day to stop doing it. But eventually, it will occur less often and less still as time goes on. If you do nothing actively working with yourself to stop focusing on the person, then it wont happen and all you;ll do is torture yourself with feelings over something you can't have.
Actually this happen often in the world of dating where one person is attracted to and falls for someone but they feel nothing in return. We all have experienced that or know someone who has. But that shouldnt hold us back from pushing on to find someone who feels the same love for us as we do for them. It is much more rewarding to move on and search for mutual love than settling for less and living with a memory and the pain of un-requited love.
I'm a 14 year old girl and I've been wanting to dye my hair blue. Not all of it, just the ends. The problem is my mother was raised to believe that dying your hair was taboo for some reason and my father would never ever ever let me dye my hair such a ridiculous color and I get the feeling it's because he would get a bad reputation in our town if his child has blue hair. I really want this though. I just moved to a new place and in trying to "reinvent" myself, and I've always wanted to do this so I figured it would be a good place to start. So how can I convince them?
I had a daughter your age who wanted the tips of her hair dyed green and i was supportive of it for one reason...this way of expressing or re-inventing herself as you called it, was not a permanent thing like a tattoo. Supposedly tats can be removed these days but its a longer more painful process and way more expensive one than the first i've heard. So for most it doesnt happen, a coverup is more likely and one still has a tattoo.
This phase of having her tips of hair a lime green, hair was brunette did not last long. After a year, she tired of it and wanted the green tips cut off. It is much less drastic than having to re dye and change a whole head of hair back to normal color and more stressful on the hair.
I suppose you could always remind them that this isnot a permanent change like a tattoo and its only the tips which can be cut off when you tire of it and still have plenty of hair left. If they dont go for it, there's nothing you can do. If they are more worried about appearance sake/reputation, there is nothing you can do to change their view as they are your parents and doing their best to raise you the way they feel Is best. Other reasons parents dont go for changes like this is for religious reasons or like your mom just being raised to believe it was wrong, no matter that there isn't a plausible explanation as to why. Even parents can believe things but not have any explainable reason to explain away their reasoning. Many people go blindly through life believing in something just because they've been told it is so, without actually investigating and looking into something and using their mind and common sense. Parents are also learning to change and grow in certain areas and this may be a stretch they are just not ready for or may never be ready for. It may be long to wait but at worst case scenerio, you can do what you want when you turn 18 since you will then be considered an adult able to make your own choices and decisions. Good luck dear.
Hi 15/F
(*̩ love pets)
*̩ got 2 puppies when *̩ was around 9. When *̩ was 10 one of them past away and it was very sad. *̩ was so afraid the onther one would pass away *̩ was overprotective and she became "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ everything we would so everything together. When "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ grandad died whe moved to a farm with "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ granmom when *̩ was about 13. 5 months ago a snake bit he and she died. We burried her and now "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ mom wants to move. *̩ still cry everynight over her and *̩ don't know what to do. *̩ will never have a dog like her. And mym mom don't want me to get another one. She would also not let me reburry her* plZ help?
There are some pets that end up having a much closer connection with a human than most regular pets would. Some pets have even been known to read their owners mind, anticipate their intentions or needs, and some pets feel lost if not having their favorite human around, almost like the connection of two soul mates who lose a partner and are way beyond normal grief and find life hard to continue on. But in time we will recover...it just takes much much longer with the loss of a pet that was so close. My husband told me a story of a dog he had like that growing up. It was his friend when other kids couldn't click with him..he had the higher IQ and other kids just didn't click with him or make good friends but he and his dog had a telepathic connection so he was hard hit with the loss of his dog. I cried as an adult when he told me the story. Like your story, it was not illness but an unexpected situation that caused the death so the death wasn't even expected. Death of family or pets that are anticipated because they are very ill and slowly dieing are a bit easier in that they are not such a shock on the system, it was expected and you had plenty of time to mentally prepare for the fact. With an unexpected death, there is no mental preparedness ahead of time to help deal with it. The grieving tho is the same in either case. It is not a good thing to dig up the pet to move with you. Yes, I agree that it is likely you will never have another dog like her. You may have to do without another dog for a while. Give mom a chance to find the place and make the move and all the adjustments and changes that come with a move. A move is a really big and stressful thing for any adult. Once some time has passed after the move, then try approaching mom for another pet, maybe even try the angle of saving the life of a dog in a center for adoption. She may not be wanting to go through the puppy stage any more at this point. I feel the same after the loss of our dog. Hubby wants to adopt a Pekingese dog (his favorite) but rarely do any end up in kennels up for adoption and we are not going the puppy route again. We're getting too old for that. We adopted one that way and will wait for the right match of an adult dog to come our way. Your mom may also be more open to adopting an adult dog, or taking one under trial in the home to see how it adjusts. I remember one dog we brought home that in the first two days was extremely stressed and stressful to us and didnt settle in right away, destroying furniture jumping up on middle of kitchen table to pee and poop for example. Never heard of a dog using table tops to do that...so it had to be returned to the center we got it at.
If mom still says no to all situations, then you'll have to wait until you are out of the house and on your own and able to afford care for a pet to get another dog. But it will be worth the wait to find just the right dog, totally different f rom the one you're missing but equally satisfying a relationship with.
I'm a teenage girl and my eyes are two different sizes. I've linked a photo of myself below. It's not painfully obvious in this photo, but sometimes it is really obvious, especially when I smile. Is there anything that I can do about this? Any make up that I can wear to make my smaller eye look bigger or anything?
I would make sure that a family doctor is aware of this if it really is pronounced to rule out any possibility of there being a problem that could gradually grow over time. Its more likely that this is one of those normal differences between each half of our bodies and faces that really occurs. I had a chance as a young teen to go with the family to a science center where a machine you stood in front of and clicked a button, would take a separate shot of each half of your face and show you two shots of what you look like with a duplicated right side and a duplicated left side, and I remember being so shocked to discover that neither photo looked like me at all! These differences for the most part are so minute that seen all together we can't notice them, isolate one like focusing on your eyes and you notice them. I cant say that using differ makeup techniques on each eye will distract from the difference that you can notice. Have you gotten comments from others mentioning that one of your eyes is bigger? Use of makeup could end up drawing more attention to the difference in size.However it may help to distract as in the case of my daughter over a different body part.
Here's that story:I have a daughter who has one breast smaller than the other. It is very noticeable to me when she is in bikini top or bra but with clothing on it isn't noticeable at all. So clothing helps distract the eye from noticing the difference in size. That difference is size didnt stop anyone from wanting to be her friend during teen years and now in her 20's, hasn't prevented her from finding a boyfriend. If you choose to not worry about it, likely no one else will either.
Its been almost 2 weeks now since me and one of my bestfriend basically stopped talking to eachother. Idk what to do because im constantly thinking about it and its been making me a bit depressed lately.
Here's the story: Me and my friend used to be very close but within time he caught feelings for me that were more than friendly. He told me it was mainly because i had helped him through alot and been there for him. I didnt feel the same way and kind of wanted to stay just friends. He was hurt once i told him and he countinued to crush on me for like 6 months. He would start dropping flirtatious comments in our conversations that used to be just joking around. He started bringing me gifts to school which he made me accept. He told me he would think about me and dream about me every night. He would get very jealous and possessive over small things like me hugging my other friends goodbye (that happened to be boys) when i was about to leave. He just started to become a bit obsessed not taking no for an answer. He turned into this completely different person. He tested our friendship constantly.I would constantly tell him to start treating me as a friend and NOT as his girlfriend in an attempt to save our friendship that basically only i was fighting for. One day he told me that one of his friends came to him saying he should "date a girl to make me jealous" and at the time he assured me he would never do something like that to me. Not too long after that he did just that. He told me a while ago about this girl that supposedly lived across the street from him. She was suppose to have this big obsession with him and liked him ALOT. He told me he didnt like her back but also would make up little stories about her coming to his house and force kissing him or she staying over his house and sleeping beside him and stuff like that. Then he would have me "chat with her" over his phone and she would basically drool over him and call him hot and tell me how much he loved me and not her and how sad he was that i rejected him. Well later i found out the girl actually lived in Mexico and spoke barely any english. (She had a fb so i messaged her) I was pissed he lied to me about everything just so i could be jealous about it (which i wasnt). So we had stopped talking for a while and he was pretty upset and whatever and had regrets which convinced me that he wouldnt try it again so i forgave him. I made him promise never to lie to me anymore and we put it behind us. Recently he told me he was dating this girl that was Japanese he would start comparing her to me saying she's prettier and saying all these things about her. He sent me a picture of her (which i didnt ask for) and it showed this very pretty Asian girl that looked like a model. At the time i was fishy to if the picture was real because you could see very faintly a website name in the corner. So i searched the picture on google and found it everywhere on websites with Japanese hair styling models. So i confronted him and he denied EVERYTHING saying he was being god honest with me that was her and that he had promised he would never lie to me again and that he was sticking to that. But the thing was the evidence was THERE i found it on over 700 results on google which proved it was a fake. So he kept denying it for weeks until eventually he admitted it. So i told him to stop speaking to me and dont text me anymore. Now he keeps sending me pleading messages on FB saying he's very sorry and that he knows he's a bad person and he just wants me to talk to him and that he admitted he was "so obseesed with me it made him push the limit". Now lately i have been depressed because this guy was one of my bestfriends (before all this stuff happened) and we were really close and we used to talk to eachother about problems we were having and help eachother through it. I really trusted him. Im the kind of person that cant hold grudges too long (past personal reasons) and because it drives me crazy to keep someone in your head. My heart is weak. Even the people that kick me to the curb or hurt me i still see some type of good in them and think that there must be a reason to why they do the things they do. I think that the person would change within time or with someone supporting them. Unfortunately i learned the hard way. But now we going to start school soon and im afraid it will be kind of awkward because we both stay after school a bit later when all of our friends have gone home because we have late car rides. Im afraid just like the last time we got into it, he will start venting to his friends and they will try to convince me to forgive him and get me to talk to him again. (Mind you alot of his friends are my friends as well. Its basically a clic we have) and i honestly dont even want to deal with that. I dont want to deal with him silently staring at me everytime we see eachother in the hallway or when im walking too class. Idk what to do now. (So sorry it was long thanks for reading!)
Here is my JUly 18th answer. When you post a question theres a handful of us who are quick to answer the same day if not within 24 hrs so be sure to check back right away whenever answering.
You did word things a little different and added in things in the recent one so my answers are a little different too.
answered Friday July 18 2014, 6:45 am:
You will have to decide for yourself if it's acceptable for anyone to lie to you. If people should not lie to each other, then it's even more serious if the person lying to you is a friend, not a stranger.
I understand where you are at, being a forgiving person and probably loyal too, through thick and thin, same as me. That is what makes it hard to shut someone like this out of your life for a while or perhaps for good, really depends on them. WHat puts things into perspective for me is to put my own welfare first...no it's not being selfish to do so. In fact if looking at something Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself" most of us focus first on the love your neighbor part. However, theres that little word AS. As you are already loving yourself. Basically, we're being told that we need to be able to love ourselves first before we'll even have a clue how to love our neighbor. If being loving to yourself is removing yourself from the drama and he always brings drama, then it would seem that the best thing for now is to not talk to him, other than to tell him why you are choosing not to talk to him. You can be honest and tell him that you are tired of the drama and it's bring unwanted stress into your life. Don't close the door on him forever but make some boundaries, or requirements rather that he needs to meet before you will resume your friendship with him, otherwise it will be on hold. Then spell out what you expect from him. I can't tell you what it is you should say. But perhaps he tells so many lies cus he thinks his own life is boring or he's not interesting, maybe low self image...you may have a better idea if this is the case. If he has broken his promises to never lie to you again, then tell him that he needs to work on himself before approaching you for friendship and that one thing he needs to work on is to learn to keep his word. His promises are empty words right now, and he has killed your trust in him so that he now would need to start all over building trust in you. You said he hasnt owned up to what he does. Call him on that. Until he is ready to own up to the fact that he is a habitual liar and ready to stop doing that, you are not interested in hearing from him. It may be more than a bad habit, in which case he may not be able to improve here without the help of a licensed counselor. He may have deeper emotional issues that are causing him to do this that he may not even be aware of. If it's appropriate for the situation, you'd know whether to suggest professional help.
Good luck dear.
I knew this sounded familiar so I checked. I answered your question of July 18th titled: Me and my friend had a falling out?
Perhaps you missed it. So to be shorter in words, basically there is no way to keep him as 'just a friend'. He can't make his feelings for you as more than a friend go away either. So the both of you are at an impasse. An impasse is when the two sides negotiating a situation are unable to reach an agreement and become deadlocked. So there is no reason to continue to torture yourselves. If you call an end to any kind of relationship even friends with him and he won't give up, then I could accuse him of being really dense in the head, something perhaps wrong with him emotionally too. If you continue to place yourself in this situation by keeping up communication with him which only gives him hope that time will change your mind, then I could accuse you of being a drama Queen who thrives on this sort of stuff and is actually drawn to it. But I know that can't possibly be the case, because you are writing here for advice for a solution. Solution is simple, cut it off with him. See the mutual friends you have, one at a time by inviting just the one at a time and let all of them know that you are cutting off all contact with him because it has given him false hope to do otherwise. YOur friends should understand hopefully that you can't see them as a group where he may be present. If they don't like that, then you must stop seeing the friends because you chance running into this guy and pretending to ignore him at the table as if he isn't there will just come across as childish to everyone present. So do yourself a favor and end all contact. There is no magic chant or magic wand that could make this end up any other way dear so don't fight the natural conclusion. It's part of life. SOme things don't always go the exact way we'd like and if we decide to try to force it to go our way, we only end up making ourselves agitated and miserable.
So I haven't been taking my birth control faithfully. I haven't took it the last 5 days, & in these past 5 days I've been ovulating. & my boyfriend came over & we had sex & he ejaculated in me. So? The fact I'm just getting off my birth control and I'm ovulating are my chances high? Late it out flat to me. I like honesty lol. I won't be scared by it! But also I just woke up today bleeding is it because I haven't been taking my pills? Cus my period doesn't come until the 20th. & even if I'm bleeding does that mean I can still can get pregnant during the bleeding. Like can the egg & sperm still survive because he came in me just last night.
Bleeding can come from not taking your pills but there is a small amount of bleeding some women experience if the fertilized egg implants in the uterus, implantation bleeding...at which point she is pregnant, this is a 7 to 10 day period it takes from sex to a fertilized egg implanting.
So if the sex was recent, then the morning after pill (Plan B) may still cover you but must be taken immediately. It can be used 120 hours after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. That comes to 5 days but know that the sooner it’s taken the more effective it works.
I wouldn't take any chances if I were you with something that could result in pregnancy by just guessing. We are not doctors and even an early pregnancy test won't tell you anything until the egg has been implanted. So there's no way to know if there are surviving sperm or if an egg will be or already is fertilized. That risk alone is enough to get me running to a pharmacy day or night immediately for plan b, the morning after pill...just ask your pharmacist for it.
What I don't understand is why if you knew you hadn't taken your birth control the last 5 days, that you didn't mention it to him and use condoms at least or send him to the store to buy condoms, especially if you're ovulating right now. That mix is a perfect setup for pregnancy.
Dont wait. Don't guess. Do get emergency contraception in the morning after pill AND take it as prescribed because if you don't, you may end up pregnant.
I have two suggestions for people who can't remember to take their pills on time, the same time each day also being important...1. set the timer on your cell or iphone to go off the same time each day to remind you to take it. If you have a habit of misplacing your phone alot and losing it, this won't help you at all.
2. The best hassle free birth control I know of is what I used and what my mom used. It's the paragard IUD, the copper form, no hormones added since the copper is what acts as a deterrent to pregnancy. In statistical records it is more effective than all the other forms of birth control though some run a very close second. But there are also other selling points like no hormonal side effects or break through bleeding cus this doesnt prevent your monthly cycle or stop your egg from being released. But it does prevent the fertilized egg from being able to attach to the uterine wall and without attachment, it can not live so it will pass out of the body with the period flow. This is the same ancient method some medicine women knew of and some health conscious women use today, taking a tea of daucus carrota, wild carrot, also know as Queen Annes lace. The seeds if taken in a tea cause the egg to not be able to attach. Although if the tea isn't taken in time or not enough is taken or the gal has run out of seeds which are hard to find to begin with, then a pregnancy can result. It is not quite as effective as Paragard, just works on the same principle. So the copper IUD is still the best. Although more expensive up front, the fact that the one time visit to doctor to have it put in, is good for about 10 years. So if compared to the cost of birth control or shots, etc...over a 10 year period, this is the more cost effective too. And a couple more selling points, you don't have to remember to take anything, sex anytime, anywhere, as often as you like without any hassle of trying to remember to take something.
Another plus is that should you decide to start trying for a child, you see the doctor to have it removed and can start trying immediately. There is no adjustment period for your body afterwards.
Hi this will sound really weird but a couple of days ago my head started to feel really numb like if i held ice on it or something and it still does and whenever someone talks to me I don't understand them right away and it has been taking me a while to respond. I can't get a doctors appointment until September and I am worried because I have been forgetting a LOT of things and I felt really stupid and embarrassed today because I hit my head on a pole even though I was looking straight forward and should have known not to do it. It hasn't even been easy to write this on the computer. Does anyone know what might be happening, i don't really have as many thoughts in my head as i used to and my friends are calling me stupid what is wrong?
This sounds serious and could possibly get you injuring yourself at the very least so I concur with the advice to go to emergency or a walk in clinic to get seen right away. This is not normal. If left too long before the issue is discovered, some situations not addressed within a certain time limit can get worse to the point of death. Since you dont know what it is that is wrong, therefore not knowing whether it is something that wouldn't result in death if not treated within a certain time frame... I would force the issue to be seen immediately by someone and keep trying until someone will check you out and start doing testing. This may be something easily treatable by medical staff if caught in time. I will be praying that all goes well for you dear.
Hey! So my bedroom is a complete mess, mostly because it's on the smaller side. I have a double bed and two bureaus. No, I can't ditch them because I inherited them from my grandmother. Painting the room isn't an option either, even though the last time it was painted was when I was in 5th grade (I'm in the 10th now) and I just don't know what to do. There's mess under all the furniture and the closet is awful. Also, I don't have enough space on top of my bureaus which I find funny because they're so gigantic!!! I need cleaning tips and I don't want to clean it a little bit at a time and I'm really frustrated.
This is a job for more than one person. I think it best to ask your parents for advice. Some help may come in ideas of how to organize better if the amount of furniture, clothings and other belongings and keepsakes are a manageable amount. Otherwise they may recommend that you downsize what you own.
I know how painful that is though, I have had to move several times in close timing to each other and had to give up so many things I wanted to hold onto. And each time i Thought I couldn't possibly pare down any more on the next move, I had to, no choice and so found that I was able to, but not without a lot of crying and honey, I am talking about this occuring in my 40s and 50's. I still cry when I have to let things go.
I am sticking with the paring down thing because I had one daughter who held on to too much and had no room in her small room but then the size was something like 7 feet by 9 feet, pretty small for a room. You didn't give dimensions of your room. Sometimes a room can feel quite small if it has lots of furniture and things in it.
I am glad to hear that you treasure the bureaus because they came from grandma. Family treasures passed on, heirlooms and antiques were a favorite of my youngest daughter so I understand. So here's some things to consider.
Get some graph paper. This is something I do always before moving into a new place to know ahead what furniture will fit where and if I need more or need to get rid of some. Measure using each square on graph paper to represent 2 inches. You can always mark halfway thru a box to show one inch. So a foot is 6 squares. Measure out on one sheet the dimensions of your room. Then measure the dimensions of your bed, the 2 bureaus and any other furniture, like night table making sure to measure the length and width correctly. Then map the furniture out on graph paper using the same measuring system as for your room map. Then you just move around the bed and bureaus on paper to see if there is a better way to reposition them in the room and still have at least a 2 foot walk space. That way you'll know if there are other options before moving heavy pieces around or whether you are stuck with the current formation. It may help to have a closet organizer which can be found at many chain hardware stores and installed fairly easily by dad into your current closet making more efficient use of space. You may want at least battery operated lights in the closet for easier viewing if theres no electric light in there. In I know daughters who found it easier to access what they wanted in a closet by having the slider doors removed and hanging the fringe of beaded strands to cover the doorway openings to a door or two to cover the slider opening to closet. As for painting, it may be a hassle but is not outside the grasp of reality. If there is a garage, it is possible for the period of time that the room is being painted that the two bureau's are taken to the garage and the bed removed to be stored in garage also except for the mattress if the family can live with it on the floor of another room in the house until the room is totally dry and ready to move back into.
If the family wont even consider to put up with the little inconvenience to do this special thing for you, then perhaps try things to distract from the old wall paint by covering up portions with the easiest thing, large posters. If posters isn't your style, I have seen wood or plastic lattice panels used to cover a portion of wall using screws that are in the shape of an L and the top L part is what holds the lattice against the wall. Long silk plant vines are attached or woven thru it after or before attaching, and it can be flowering ones, to give the feeling of a garden room or the bedroom of another era to go along with the older bureau's. I have also seen panels of cloth in a pretty pattern attached to a wall or draped artistically over it to cover an area. There are things that can be done to make your room your haven and feel comfortable to you. But it will all cost some money. Do what you can to assist by earning some of your own money and offering to help with any work involved in the process including moving furniture and painting.
Now a section on how to downsize as this is one immediate relief to your situation. Create 3 different piles: of what you must keep, cus it is so unique that there's little chance of finding that ever again.
One pile would be, "I would like to keep but if I must let it go, I know I can find another later or something even better."
And another pile will be what you throw away or donate.
Hopefully there will be enough in the donation pile to bring some relief. This should include every area, clothing, shoes, coats, collectibles, books, toys if any, accessories, jewelry etc.
Try to hold on to items that you can find two uses for rather than just one also. Your room will be even more disorganized and awful during the weeding out process with the piles or actually boxes containing such items. Learn to periodically go through your closets weeding out items. I do this every 6 months. It is guaranteed that I will have brought home clothing etc..that I tried on and liked and yet when I brought it home, I found I rarely wore it cus it just didnt fit in with the colors of my warddrobe, nothing to go with it, or it didnt appeal any longer as much as I thought it would or is impractical or uncomfortable due to bad design. If there is something in my closet I've only worn once or twice in 6 mos, then I donate and get rid of it. You will be doing this for life dear. I am still doing it and I'm a grandma. The person who don't learn this starting at your age, will become hoarders and that is not a healthy living situation. If I can be helpful with anything else on the subject of your room, give me your specific issue or question and I'd be glad to try and help.
14/F
I've known my best friend for almost 2 years. She (was) my only friend because I'm homeschooled. However, we haven't spoken in almost 2 weeks. We had a pointless argument, called eachother names, etc. I keep waiting for a text from her. I tried texting her, but she changed her number. There's no other way to talk to her. Should I just let go of our friendship?
First of all, I'm sorry to hear this. If shes anywhere around your age of 14, my first guess is that the pointless argument and her holding a grudge and not keeping contact could easily be due to the hormones of puberty. No female escapes this. All of us are affected to some degree or another and the most often affected is our feelings and emotions.
We are more easily irritated for no good reason at all, get upset and cry much more easily, can be weepy at the drop of a hat, or we can get very mean and angry and sometimes at worst case scenerio, a girls whole personality changes and/or she becomes really depressed. My guess is that hormones has a play in your situation with your friend.
Mom will understand this time in her past, I still remember how out of control and how 'not myself' I felt. Its not an easy time of life. Let your mom know what I said may be happening with you and your friend. If she has any contact with the other mom perhaps she could alert the other mom as to what is going on. However this isn't something that can be forced. For the most part, you'll have to wait for your friend to process through and get over it. 2 weeks isn't really odd when the emotions are going to still be out of control for a year or two, more like 2or 3if I remember right from raising 3 girls/ they were all 3 yrs apart and one would be on the tail end of hers while the next one was starting, and Oh the fighting and such that occurred between sisters! Some attack sisters or even mom without reason, while others attack friends or even female classmates and female teachers.
Don't give up on your friendship. It may be a long wait, but eventually she will recover and come around again. It will be lonely until then, but don't give up. My guess is this won't be a permanent break in friendship.
I recommend talking to your mom about it
Me and my boyfriend just had sex for the first time together we used a condom and he pulled out and I was supposed to start birth control pills the next day I came home to find that I am on my period is this a good thing or bad thing and do you think we used enough protection?
You actually asked three questions, one in your title and two in your message so I will start with the title.
1. What does it mean if you see blood right after sex? I didn't say get your period because too many assume they are having their period when its something else.
Yes, it could be that timing wise, you happened to have sex right as you were about to start your period. The reason this happens quite often is that females can be much more horny during the time they ovulate up through their period, so its no surprise when a girl is having sex and gets her period right after. On the other hand, if there is some spotting that lasts a day or two or three, the light spotting, (not a heavy period) can be on one occasion from a hymen tearing, or even just the skin of the walls of the vagina tearing if there wasn't enough lube. Even older women can have the same issue if she's a bit dry at the time and he isn't using a lube. Or one other reason for seeing blood is a week to 10 days after sex, the amount of time for a fertilized egg to travel to the uterus where it implants into the uterus and releases a small amount of blood. This isnt the case for you as this was your first time. So it had to be one of the other two explanations for you.
2. Is getting a period right after sex a good thing or a bad thing?
It depends on your age and situation. If you are a teen and NOT wanting to become pregnant, then this is a good thing. A period is the shedding of the lining of the uterus because NO fertilized egg ever implanted in the lining. If it had, you would be pregnant and the lining would stay inside to feed baby instead of be shed as your period. If you are a young adult female, and want to become pregnant and after sex you see your period starting, then its not a good sign for you, it means you didn't become pregnant in this cycle.
3. Did you use enough protection? You will get all sorts of points of views on this depending who you ask. Just using the condom is real good way to prevent getting pregnant but there are things that can go wrong. The latex could be getting old, or have a defect in it wear it tears or has a pin hole big enough for sperm to swim through but not to be easily visible to the eye. Or a condom can come off inside the girl or if the fit isn't good, cum can leak out the sides. Basically, the guy needs to grip the base of the condom before pulling out to make sure it comes out with him. I did date in between the ex and finding new husband and did have sex and condoms were used but in one case, it ripped, and in another, he forgot to grab it and pulled out and the condom stayed inside. If that can happen to me, an adult woman it can happen to anyone. Luckily I was on the pill still at the time so wouldnt become pregnant but then i Had no STD protection.
I am glad to hear you are planning to use the pill. Be aware that there is a period of time needed for it to build up in your system from consecutive days of usage before you are fully protected from pregnancy. So be sure to read the instructions closely or call and check with the doctor or pharmacist as to how many days you must have been taking it Before you have sex again. Taking one or two pills and having sex is not going to protect you like you may think it will. Do check on that.
Lastly, you mentioned in the past, masturbating alot. Not quite sure I understood your statement correctly but am assuming you are saying after masturbation you had a flow that lasted two days and was heavy, not that you masturbated alot 2 days straight.
Two reasons I can see for seeing blood after masturbation. The first reason I've already mentioned, being that part of your cycle when you are more horny, it's more likely you will be masturbating at this time, unless you do so every day. But as I said, it isn't odd for a period to start right after masturbating for that reason.
Now if you were a bit rough on yourself, lots of pounding with a dildo, I have experienced the same at times, you can see a little spotting but definitely not a period started by the action of masturbating. The pounding whether by toy or penis, against the back of your vaginal can cause some soreness at the least and is nothing to worry about. Or it can produce a little spotting just from the bruising. But again, nothing to worry about. In time the body will be used to it and it shouldn't be an issue.
I hope this answers all your questions. If you have any more, let me know.
I currently got into college (haven't taken my first classes yet though) and went for the Geology Department because finding a job with this major is easy and pays good, plus I think its a bit interesting. However I originally wanted to go for an English Major, perhaps making a double major in the future in plastic arts and making a small certificate in cinematography. I have a lot of insecurities and one of them is my future. Could I find a good job with my actual passion? Should I just follow my heart like a lot of cheesy commercials say? My parents are neck deep with debts and I want to be a good daughter to them - they raised me, I think its only fair that in the future I repay them by helping them pay their debts too. Also, my best friend is going for a physics major and I recall my father various times saying how I should go for what she went because in the future I could get a good job and get well payed. I suppose some of my inferiority complexes come from having such a smart, independent friend who has had much more triumphs than I have. Back to the topic, should I change majors... or stick with this one considering everything I said/wrote?
I like Pooks thought of checking with people in both fields to see what they have to say. In highschool, I remember taking each of my daughters in senior yr, as it was the requirement for school at the time to follow around and interview a person who had a business or worked in a business in the field they had an interest in and then they had to write up a report to submit to teacher. I felt it was a great idea and I had fun going along and learning details of those jobs too.
I would suggest seriously doing that.
Also the thinking ahead to how you would feel in the future, the degree that brings in the money and pays the bills for most people is not going to be the one that allows you to follow your passion.
You mention an English Major. So theres always a chance you could go after the Geology major, and perhaps later in life publish some interesting books on geology. One of my daughters at age 10 or so was very interested in learning about rocks so we joined a rock hound club where they had a kids night and taught all the kids what they know about rocks. They also knew of all the places in the state where rock enthusiasts and geology buffs could go to find and dig for free rocks where public was allowed with no restrictions. recall that info of the places was passed on word of mouth but there was no guidebooks to help people find these places nor where they could go to just view different types of geological formations like a guide book with written one explanation of what they are looking at. If after years in the geology job you want to expand using the English major, and write about the subject, that might fulfill your desires and passions. My passions were never pursued during the years we had kids and were raising them. I worked a so so job that paid the bills but my heart wasn't in it. Now my kids are adults and I am pursuing one of my passions to earn money at, later in life.
There are many people who keep active and work for themselves doing something they want as they are older when its just the two of them again.
Sometimes to be practical, you can't have it all at once. You can go for all the schooling while you are young. But best to choose the one degree and work the job while going part time evenings to school for the other degree, taking your time as there's no rush.
Good luck.
Hi! I'm 13 and I do not where glasses but I have a dent in my nose it's above the tip of my nose in the middle. The first time I noticed it was December 2013. What should I do?? Should I go to a Plastic surgeon? How much would it cost or should I see my doctor plaese help!!
Everything adviceman said is right and to be considered. I just want to point out that this 'dent' or dip in the shape of your nose may be hereditary, passed on by family. So if your mom or dad don't have it, and its not evident in your siblings if any, then perhaps it was further back like grandparents or great grand parents, an aunt/uncle or great aunt/uncle had the same kind of nose. In my own family, and including myself, I have more of dads features but also a mix of both my maternal and paternal grandmothers. And I have a male family member who looks identical to an old portrait of a great grand aunt of his.
If your mom has photo albums of ancestors a little ways back, it might be interesting to check to see if any had the same nose and then you'll know where it comes from.
So, I am on vacation for my brother's birthday... My mom brought her computer for us to use, and I had just installed some software and drivers for a project two days ago. Then, earlier today, she restored her computer back a few days. I was going to attempt re-installing it from the recycle bin, which wasn't successful... But, upon this process I overcame a video entitled "Private Show" and, out of curiosity, I played it. And I thought the unexpected 2 hour drive to a monument was the worst part of this vacation... at least until I saw this video. I really don't know what to do... but I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. Please, I need some advice!
Just so you don't feel you're the only one struggling with something like this...I know of very few children whether still kids, teens or adults who can imagine their parents having sex, and the thought of that grosses them out. Obviously my parents did it cus there's myself and 3 siblings, and yet, I cannot to this day see them as ever having been sexual creatures or of being such today, no matter what their age, even as senior citizens.
The unfortunate truth is that may couples, once they have produced children and are in the rearing them stage, tend to neglect their sex life. They get too far into the role of Mom and Dad and forget that they ever had passion and love and desire for each other.
Some parents are just too uncomfortable for the kids to grow up from a young age, seeing them hug, snuggle and kiss or perhaps anything of a sexual content or sexual in speech is buried and forgotten because of their discomfort. Perhaps it was due to how they were raised. But there is nothing wrong with children seeing at least that much or seeing mom come home with a sexy outfit or nightie for wear for her sweetheart. The flirting is healthy to see too. You just happened to see more than any child should see of their parents.
I say all this to give you something positive to focus on, at least be happy that your parents still have a healthy sex life because a majority of parents do not a have a good one or do not have one at all any more.
Here's another way to look at it. You want Mom and Dad to be healthy don't you? Well, sex is known to be one of the greatest and most fun stress relievers known to mankind for both the male and female. If I have a tension headache, having sex WILL get rid of it every time. I have also come across many reports and even heard from my own genecologist that women who continue to have sex throughout their life after kids and during grandkids period, will tend to have less problems or no problems that many women do with their sexual organs or urinary tract and bladder when they are older because of the constant "exercise' shall we call it. Keeps her toned so her walls of the vagina don't collapse, or bladder sag due to weak muscles. I've heard sex is good for men to keep regular in, for the moment they stop and do nothing for years on end and later want to start, their sex organs won't work for them, they are unable to get hard again. That saying "Use it or lose it" applies very much so in this case.
I back up what adviceman had to say, I just wanted to give you some positive things to focus on to help get what you saw off your mind easier.
So I'm 15 years old and I met a guy while I was visiting my family in Florida. And he he says he likes me and that's why he broke up with his girlfriend but he doesn't want to date me because I live so far away. But we have done stuff like made out a lot I've given him a blow job etc. But we haven't went all the way because I'm afraid that if I go all the way with him he will leave me and never speak to me again. I asked him what are we and he said I'm not a booty call cuz I deserve better but I'm not his girlfriend either. It's just so confusing, like what are we? I want a boyfriend but he doesn't want a relationship. I need help please! :(
He was being a normal teen boy. Having raging hormones to take care of, he would do anything he could to entice a girl to have sex with him cus he says he likes her. There are two reason a male has sex, one is to take care of his urges, and the other number two is: To take care of his ladys needs and pleasure her fully until she is satisfied before allowing himself to have his own satisfaction, all which he does for the lady because he loves her and this is one special way to show that special love to each other and share it.
It looks like you have a case of number one, using you for his purposes. And the thing is, HE KNEW BETTER, cus he could tell you were not one of those girls who sleep around in school with every guy she can get. He knows you deserved better and yet he used you. Even if you were willing, he shouldn't have been. That makes him a pretty low creature.
Not against teens having sex, but it should be when the two like each others personalitys and are attracted both that way and physically and slowly develop deep feelings for each other and then start the sexual part of the relationship together. Then it is right and wonderful.
You are nothing to him. Forget about him.
I thing the teen years are a good time to have a boyfriend, more than one dating relationship hopefully cus the object here is to learn what you like and don't like in the opposite sex and always in each subsequent relationship, you do one better in who you select, always improve upon the failings of the last one, don't settle for less.
So if you want a boyfriend dear, you need to know what dating is really about before you go down that road. Here is the explanation:
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of guy you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you dont like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.
What color looks best in harem pants?
Hon, I've seen them in all colors...usually vivid colors though, hardly any pale or pastel. So you can find royal purple, royal blue, red, red-orange, hotpink, fushia, violet, turquoise, grass green or other bright greens, even yellows and golds. I havent seen as much available in white, black or brown but am sure it is offered.
You should wear a color that is complimentary to your skin and hair coloring.
I made my own harem outfit in fushia colors once.
So I've been with my boyfriend for awhile and I'm not afraid to touch his penis but I don't like him touching me down there for some reason idk if it's just because I'm embarrassed about getting wet or what but plz help!
You didn't give an age. If you are in your twenties, I'd say its time to do some sex ed self education and learn everything you can about the female anatomy, the cycle, how one becomes pregnant,how to avoid that, the physiology of the male body too. Once you know more, you should be more comfortable with sex if you are sexually attracted to your guy, if not, it's not going to be satisfying to you if you did get up enough nerve.
If you are a young teen, that could explain why you're uncomfortable, it would be your first real exploration of anything sexual and you might be ready to touch him but when it comes to touching you, thats another story and you have good reaso n to feel uncomfortable if you don't know enough yet and /or you just may not be ready or willing to go that far and that is okay. Dont let anyone tell you theres something wrong with you if you don't. I never had sex in high school. I waited until I was 20.
In touching the boys penis, if he gets any precum on his penis tip and it is on his hands as he touches your private parts, the lips or inside the vagina, he can transfer live sperm inside you without his penis ever entering you. So if you are going to be doing this on a regular basis, it may be best to get on birth control, and then still proceed slowly at a rate you a re comfortable with. Otherwise, just don't even go there. Do talk with him and let him know you are not ready to go any further. If he asks when you will be, you dont know. He may be hoping for next week or next month but you may not be ready for months or a couple more years. If this is a deal breaker for him and he leaves you over it, thats GOOO....cus he was never interested in you for your personality, just for the sex and in his case most likely it was lust, not love that caused him to want you for a girlfriend.