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How to tell my parents I don't want to drive
17f
I got my driver's license when I turned 16, like most kids do. While I enjoyed the freedom of being able to go wherever I wanted, I was always really anxious while I was driving. Then I got into a minor car accident several months ago. Everyone said I should try driving again, so I did. I kept driving for a few more months, but I was even more anxious than before and it really stressed me out.
Eventually I just started asking my parents and friends for drives, or I would walk or bike. It's been months since I've driven a car. I'm involved in a lot of activities, and I know I'm a burden to my parents. My dad keeps asking me when I'm going to start driving again, and I just keep saying that I don't want to drive, but he won't stop. Now he's looking into buying a new, smaller car that would be easier for me to drive. I know he's worried about me never driving again and he wants to do what's best for me, but I just don't want to drive!
How can I get my dad to understand this and stop nagging me to get back behind the wheel?
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By your age, I Figure your dad is a bit younger than I but still he learned to drive during a time (like I did)
when there weren't as many cars on the road, drivers were more courteous,
road rage was almost non existant,
and people did not engage in risky driving such as riding the bumper of other cars, switching lanes to race to get ahead of the car in front, constantly swerving.
So your dad needs to realize that by time he got to todays version of drivers on the road and the huge amount of cars, he had a lot of driving experience and a very honed instinct on what to look for, how to anticipate a risky or stupid move by other drivers and a natural instinct to make a split second decision on how to avoid an accident. One decision might seem good but end up worse than if you had gone the other way. I have driven since I turned 16, and I can't tell you how many near misses I have had on the freeway and on arterial streets. All stupid moves by the other driver and if I had not made the evasive decision in a split second, it would have been too late and I would either by now have survived several accidents with totalled cars, or been dead. Twice in my life I have almost had a semi run me off the road, one on a freeway, one on an arterial, even though I was following the rules on how to drive around a semi. I have 3 daughters and when they turned 16, they had no want to rush getting a license, they all waited until they hit about age 20, 21 to begin driving, a time when they felt more self assured and mature and ready to handle what might come their way on the roads. My youngest is 22 and is in no hurry to learn. The middle daughter has already experienced near misses in accidents and my oldest has been in one accident not her fault. Yes, having your own car is convenient but yes it is also stressful.
I find myself even with all my driving skills over the years to feel more anxious asa the level of cars on the roads increase and rush hour is no longer a couple hours per day but about 18 hours per day. the only time there are less cars on the road now is from 11 pm to 5 am, a time when most of us is sleeping, therefore we all have to drive in 'rush hour' traffic just to go grocery shopping or to a dr. appt.
There is no rush for you to drive but keep in mind that knowing how to drive once you are a mother is alot less hassle than waiting for a bus with buggy and diaper bag to take baby to its check ups or god forbid if it become seriously ill and needed to go to emergeny at a time husband was not at home. And then there is the grocery shopping. If you choose not to drive to work once you're out of school and have a job, thats actually smart. But you will at some point find having a car and able to drive it when you have a child and even more than one, to be a God send and the pro's of convenience to toting kids around to the con's of driving in todays traffic has a good chance of winning. And is worth the risk.
I can tell you this, I have never had to avoid an accident while on an errand to take a child to the Dr. or go grocery shopping, its always been during work commute, even the arterial street events.
To your dad, I might sound like I am trying to talk you out of driving totally. No...I feel that our decision making abilities mature as we grow older since our brain doesnt complete development in the pre frontal cortex until at least the mid 20's. And that is why I am glad my daughters waited to begin driving. You can afford at your age to wait too. As long as you know how to drive and keep up some minimal driving on errands so you don't get rusty, I see nothing wrong with your choices.
So just let Dad know that if he insists on getting you a car that for the most part, you are going to let it sit and use it only rarely. I would suggest non holiday weekends to keep up your driving skills cus there is lots less traffic on the road. I highly recommend this minimal amount of driving because I know a few people who had car issues/repair and couldn't drive for a long time, and then couldn't afford to pay driver license renewal, and now that they have a functioning car and license again and have felt too much time has gone by where they didn't drive and are now actually afraid and paranoid to do so and they never had any accidents,,its just the amount of time not spent driving that caused them to not want to drive anymore. I know one such mom with 4 kids was asking me for lots of rides until I said no. 5 passengers in my car to take her grocery shopping? She will have to walk or use a bus. See what I mean about keeping up your ability to drive for later when you have kids?
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