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I want to lose weight for purposes of health. My mom thinks I'm anorexic.
I'm 15, female, 5'5", and 115 pounds.
I danced for six years growing up – I took ballet from when I was seven until I was thirteen and quit so I could focus on my music career. Of course, after quitting, my entire physical build changed, and I went from being 105 pounds to 125. I also had a lot less energy and was constantly tired. About ten months ago now, I started exercising regularly again, mostly at my mother's insistence – I started out by just doing Zumba two hours per week, and now, I do Beachbody's T25 exercise videos every day and I've graduated from the Alpha series to the Beta. I have mostly regained the physical condition I was in before I quit dance, and I have energy again.
This summer, I went to a seven-week music intensive. I really, really need my life to be very structured, so music camp was an incredible relief from home life for me. I improved a lot as a musician, and unexpectedly, I also lost about 15 pounds. I did the T25 exercise videos regularly at camp, but what made the biggest difference were the 3-5 miles that I walked on an average day, that I could eat however I wanted without my parents dictating my diet, and that the food there was really gross, so it wasn't tempting to overeat. I realized exactly how much I overeat at home, and I felt so, so much better at camp when I ate proper portions. However, I got home three days ago and my mom instantly freaked out about my weight loss. In the past three days, she's insisted that I eat as much as she does, and she's on a diet to gain weight because she has such a high metabolism that she naturally has 5% body fat. She refuses to recognize that I don't have the same metabolism that she does and says she doesn't want me to get anorexia when I say that I'm full or that I don't want to overeat. In the past three days, I've eaten 1,800 calories per day instead of the 1,200 I ate at camp and gained 5 pounds. I already feel unhealthy, but my mom said she would take me to a psychiatrist if I didn't stop insisting that I eat healthier.
I really just want to be healthy, and I honestly feel better when I weigh less. I don't think that I have anorexia, nor is my primary motivation for losing weight appearance. What should I do?
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Go vegan. I went vegan this year and have lost 40 pounds, with minimal exercise, bringing down my BMI from 30 to 24. I weigh less now than I did throughout high school, as an overweight teenager, even when I exercised for hours while on Junior Varsity and Varsity sports teams.
My goal for next year is to lose 30-40 more pounds, I just need to start exercising on a regular basis. Nothing crazy, just 30-60 minutes of jogging, Ballet Beautiful, bike riding.. things like that.
I think it's amazing what I've accomplished so far, just by changing my diet, though. It's a lot easier to go vegan than it seems. I was never vegetarian, I went from being able to eat an entire box of pizza or entire tub of ice cream in one sitting to a full-fledged vegan. I now spend a lot less money on groceries, have more energy (never need caffeine, and never feel lethargic like I used to on a regular basis), have more concentration, and etc. Try it for a week, that's how I started, and I felt so good that I just kept going, and it's now been 5 months! You can get every nutrient from plant foods, including protein!
Where do you get your protein?! 10 comebacks from a Vegan.
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The only vitamin you need to supplement is B12, and one I personally recommend is Garden of Life's B12 spray (cause I personally hate swallowing pills, and methylcobalamin is better than cyanocobalamin). You can buy it at any health foods store (Whole Foods, Sprouts, Trader Joe's, etc.), or online.
More on vitamin B12
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These two movies turned me into a vegan overnight.
Forks Over Knives
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Processed People
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Cowspiracy
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Here are some good YouTube channels that have helped me, too.
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Good luck!
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I've always found I had a high metabolism so no matter what i ate I remained my 110 high school weight. Some time into my 20s I went with a friend to aerobic dance twice a week. In no time I went down to 95-98 pounds. That is rather light for my small frame, so I tried adding more caloric healthy foods and that didn't help, I cut down on the amount of exercise and gained my weight back.
As for what range of range is all normal for a certain height and skeletal frame thickness is best to go to experts for. and the best there would be the family doctor. If his opinion is that you are of a normal weight, then mom should be happy with it.
Mom may come from a family and was raised to have some extra weight on the body visually thinking it is good reserves for lean times when one doesnt have food to eat. My own parents grew up in times where they didn't have food to eat at times and the generation following them were always taught to eat as much as possible in case times like that came again. Its possible mom has some program like that running in her mind and only a doctor saying otherwise will get her to understand you are fine.
I have gained in older life 10 lbs and found it to be too much and now have to do a little more exercise than before because my metabolism has slowed down a little. As far as Ayurvedic medicine teaches, there are 3 basic body types and yours may not be the same as moms so what you do can not be the same as what she does to have perfect health if she has that.
One type needs very little exercise to remain at optimum weight
another needs more than the first, a moderate amount to keep at their best weight
and the last poor unfortunate group have to work their butts off in exercise 3 times more than anyone else to get the same results.
It also goes into what type of foods cause problems for one body type and not for the other. It can be very complex which goes to show how unique each of our bodys are and there is no one diet and exercise program that fits all. Have mom take you for a check up to the doctor and that should put an end to her nagging.
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At your height depending on your frame size you should weigh anywhere from 115 pounds to 155 pounds. So if you have a small skeletal frame size you are at the low end of the AVERAGE weight for your height and frame size.
If mom is threatening to take you to see a psychiatrist she is threatening to take you to the wrong doctor. While a psychiatrist is a medical doctor it will cost her in the area of $125 to find out that there is probably nothing wrong with you that would require the attention of a psychiatrist. I say probably for she may be driving you into a depression that might cause you to need this type of doctors help.
Your question is actually the reverse of the ones I usually get from girls of your height and weight. They want to lose weight. Interesting enough my answer to them and what I feel is a resolution to your problem is the same.
Suggestion to mom that seeing a doctor is not a bad idea. You probably should have a back to school physical anyway which her health insurance plan, if she has one, will cover. Many health insurance plans are very restrictive on Psychological coverage and many psychiatrists do not take insurance. You pay up front then submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. Your mother will be surprised to find that of the $125 the doctor will charge the insurance company may reimburse as little as $65 probably much less. This is why psychiatrist do not accept insurance. (I know this for my wife works for the largest certifying insurance company for mental health and they set the reimbursement rates to the doctors.)
Your family doctor is just as qualified to and maybe more so to judge if you are healthy and of a proper weight. Your family doctor would know you better than some strange doctor and would be more qualified to judge if you are in good health and at a weight proper for you. Proper for you is the key factor.
My advice is; Make a deal with your mother. You will see a doctor but it will be the family doctor who knows you best. You will allow the family doctor to give you a complete physical, which you should have every year anyway and would be covered by insurance. Tell her what I said about psychiatrist and payments. If the family doctor says you are of a good weight then mom needs to back off. If the doctor says you needs to gain a few pounds you will.
Important Note: Since you are 15 and female a complete physical would include a female exam. By law if you do not want mom in the exam room with you during the physical she cannot be there. While this law is meant to give you total confidentiality over your reproductive system; In this instance by invoking your rights under the law which is called HIPPA. You will have the privacy you need to talk to the doctor without mom hearing or interrupting.
Just tell the doctor you invoke HIPPA rights and the staff will take it from there. After the exam is over then you can invite mom to come back in and speak with you and the doctor.
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