So I have a boyfriend, and I know that he talks to another girl late at night. One time i found out that he talked to her until 3 am... I don't know how to feel about this. Like I don't want to restraint him from being friends with other people, but I feel that in this kind of situation, wouldn't he want to talk to me late at night ?? What do you think ? Would you mind if your significant other did that to you ?
misspiggy answered Thursday August 14 2014, 4:02 pm: He is not being a good boyfriend. I would kill my frog if he acted this way. It's fine that he has other friends, but talking until 3 am is beyond excessive. A ten minute conversation should be good enough. Anything longer than that and he is literally choosing to spend time with another girl over you.
Here is a good way of seeing if he is interested in this other girl or if he is just accidentally taking things a bit too far. Tell him it hurts your feelings when he talks to her so long because you feel like he should be talking to you. If he apologizes and agrees to stop talking to her, then it was all a misunderstanding. This shows he values your feelings and just wasn't thinking. But, if he threatens to break up with you or calls you jealous, that is basically him saying "I do not care that I am hurting your feelings. This other girl means more to me than you do. Don't bring this up again." If he does have a harsh reaction, you may need to re- think the relationship. What girl dreams of a boyfriend who stays up all night talking to another girl? No one that's who.
Believe moi. Moi has a charm that is lethal to men.
Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday August 13 2014, 12:01 pm: Is this a pattern of only talking to a particular girl late at night or does he talk to her at other times. If its at any time of day and varies it comes across as perfectly harmless, nothing more than gravitating more toward true friendships with the opposite sex.
Both my husband and I are much like that, more comfortable with friends of the opposite sex, but still have friends of the same sex. You have your own natural intuition and so do I as a female...and mine is saying that if the only hours he talks to her are for example usually between 10 PM to 3 AM at night, then either she works an odd shift and is not available at any other time, or she may be a female he does sexting or phone sex with regularly to masturbate to.
We could imagine all sorts of possibilities and be wrong on all of them.
I really need more information to give you some things to think about and advice particular to your situation. In itself, having a husband or boyfriend who will speak to other females on occasion or have some as friends is not unusual, but the missing factors and information could paint an entirely different picture.
So to better help, I need detail of your ages, how long you've dated, how often you spend time together getting to know each other, what the relationship is like, has he tried sexual advances with you? What all your believes about sex outside of marriage for both of you and what you both do to take care of sexual urges right now? Also think about whether you witness him with your eyes having more conversations with females than males, what you truly know of his character as a male and how he views women, how he treats any sisters, his mother as this will show either a great respect for women or lack of it. Has he made some profession of love for you, just likes you or has feelings for you, any examples to support such feelings in his treatment of you, We're trying to establish for my benefit what kind of male your boyfriend is at core. Are you just beginning dating, or have both of you talked about taking this to a committed relationship level or are you currently there?
If you don;t want to bother with writing back with more info, then all I can say is:
The only time you need worry is if he has less time for you, and whatever other activities he engages in take away from him being able to 'be there' for you emotionally and physically. If a man has an interest in a woman, a true attraction, then she should become one of his top 3 priorities in life that he juggles. If you fall lower than that, then he isnt as interested in you as he leads you to believe or he is seeing others girls and juggling time with them too. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Natas answered Wednesday August 13 2014, 6:38 am: I personally wouldnt mind. Somtimes people have really good relationships with some one of the opposite sex and have no interest in dating them. Tell him how it makes you feel. I dont know what your sleep sqedusl is like but mabey he can't fall asleep until later and you can go to sleep pretty quickly so he dosnt want to keep you up. I dont think he's cheating on you but then again I dont know everything just talk to him about it, but try to avoid telling him not to talk to his freind. [ Natas's advice column | Ask Natas A Question ]
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