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15 yrs and want to be a virgin until marriage. help!!!!
Ok. I'm a 15 year old girl. I never had sex or masturbate but I get the urges to most times. I don't know what to do because when my boyfriend touches me and we fo sexting it's good but now we are not together . I know I shouldn't be doing those things but I can't help it. I want to remain a virgin until marriage,
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Today's definition of Virgin is anyone who has not had Penis to vagina penetration. Masturbation and fingering or even anal sex has nothing to do with being a virgin by today's standards. This would also include not having a Hyman to be torn during your first vaginal penetration by a penis. Today with Tampon usage and how active girls are with athletics it is very possible they will have dislodged the Hyman long before they marry and have sex with their husbands if this is what they are waiting for.
Masturbation is actually very good for you, especially if you are not expecting to have any other type of sexual activity. Masturbation brings you the sexual relief you body needs from all the hormones puberty puts into it. The sexual relief also relieves a great deal of you stress may be under.
Masturbation is not a sin, not any of the organized religions see masturbation as a sin. They may not condone it but it is not a sin, even the Catholic church believes this.
According to a recent study 85% of us masturbate. If you live in the average home of 4 people than 3.4 of you masturbate this would include your parents. They masturbate as part of foreplay before sex. I will go out on a limb here and say your parents enjoy a healthy se life. Part of that se life is something called mutual masturbation or foreplay. This is where fingering occurs, oral sex and HJ's
I can only think of one reason parents and the church tell children not to masturbate, which to me is hypocritical. They say this for they are afraid that enjoying masturbation will lead to actual sexual intercourse. This does not have to be true. It is more true if you allow your boyfriend to finger you rather than masturbate as it is easy to go from fingering to intercourse.
My advice is if you have the urge to masturbate do so. Go in your room close the door, lock it if possible so you are not barged in on. Get undressed lay on your bed and get comfortable and just go with the feelings. You can also masturbate during your bath or shower, wherever you are most comfortable doing so.
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I am okay with teens who want to wait until marriage to have sex. But we are all human and God made us to experience urges. We can control ourselves and choose to not get into a situation where we end up naked with and engaging in sex with someone. But the urges are still there. I used to attend church. They stressed that masturbation is evil and we shouldn't do it. There are quite a few things some churches will forbid and it varies from church to church because there really isnt a clearly defined mentioning in the bible against it, only some person interpretation and a stretch to make a scripture verse fit what they want to forbid.
I masturbated anyways even though I wasn't about to have sex outside of marriage.
Physiologically it is much healthier for our bodies to have that sex release by masturbation than to attempt to do without. One of the greatest benefits is stress relief, especially if you can get it to go beyond just feeling good and tingly but actually have rocking orgasms. Because its the hormones released by orgasms that bring stress relief and can get rid of headaches. aT least I know it works for me. So you have to decide if you are going to do that or not to take care of your needs, cus the only other way to take care of it is to have a sex partner and engage in sex. Just because your church may frown on it or perhaps your parents, it doesn't make masturbation wrong. There are lots of taboo's in churches that are not wrong. I even remember a sermon on how Christians should be going to Naturopaths instead and yet the clinic I choose also had an acupuncturist and when I mentioned seeing their accupuncturist and i was told to never do that again as it was evil and somehow the practitioner would hex me or something....pretty odd ideas some church leaders have...some sounds on the verge of what one would expect out of the mouths of mental patients not on their meds anymore. You must decide for yourself what you feel it right. If that includes masturbation until you get married, then do so. Otherwise you will either need to suffer in silence. If you decide, hang it all, I am going to engage in sex but just a little, not all the way with a guy....don't attempt it without being prepard. Either you, he or both of you will get carried away at some point. Not every time but there will be times when you just cant resist. and you do not need to end up pregnant as a christian teen before marriage and have to face a bunch of christians who think they are superior and more sin free than you and look down their noses at you and treat you in ways to make you feel shamed. Jesus is not like that at all.
You can always go to planned parenthood, get on the pill, they help out teens with anything having to do with the reproductive system and because of the Hippa law, can not reveal to anyone including parents that you have been to see them and what for. So it would be all private.
Not trying to talk you out of remaining a virgin, just giving info to cover all situations in case you at some future point decide to go that way.
If you intend to wait until marriage, then when you finally get to marrying age, if not having sex, you need to still feel some chemistry with the guy , to feel desire arise in you from his kisses and his touch. If its not there, no matter how nice he is dear, don't marry him. At 20 I didnt know better, was a virgin at marriage to a nice christian guy. Didn't know that in his family there was mental illness. Not to mention on my wedding night discovering that he and I had no sexual chemistry. It did nothing for me. He got his releases by using me but I never had orgasms with him. Yet I loved him until the mental illness grew worse with each year and eventually his treatment of me killed my love for him. Love needs to be nurtured or it will die. Both love in friendship and love in sexual relations, I had neither and yet he was a Christian. Please be careful and give more thought into whomever you choose because divorce is also frowned upon in churches and many are too scared to do so and suffer on in silence. You want to get the right guy the first time.
Good luck dear and if there's anything else I can help answer for you, please feel free to write me.
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To be honest with you being a virgin until marriage is really awesome. I know sometimes its frustrating cause you get the urge to do things but you gotta be strong. I'm 19 years old and I am still a virgin, and like you I plan on being a virgin till marriage. To me waiting till marriage is like waiting for the right person to come.
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