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theres this boy im dateing i just started dateing like a couple days ago i realy like him ive liked him for a long time but im afraid of getting hert again and hed be the last persorn i would want to be hert by he tell me all kinds so stuff to let me know he care but im afraid of how it will end up i couldt take another crack in my heart plus it would brake if he hert me or if i wasnt with him what do i do i dont want to get to deep so it can hert worse please what do i do
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There are no guarantees in life. There's no "sure thing". Anything can hurt you, and there's a good chance it will.
On the plus side, you can find joy in the most unexpected places.
No one here can promise that your relationship with that boy will be a happy one, because no one in the WORLD can promise that. It's beyond human power.
But I can tell you this: if you don't take some risks, you won't even have a CHANCE at happiness. Sit at home all day in fear of the bad things that might happen, and you'll end up old, sad, and alone after a fear-filled life.
Your heart is stronger than you realize. It will survive, and heal. The one thing that will kill it dead is loneliness.
So talk to that boy. Try not to sound too scared. Try not to BE too scared. Terror kills relationships. But communication can save them. Learn how to talk to him, and even more important, learn how to LISTEN to him.
If you find that you just can't relax at all, no matter how hard you try, it might be time to consider getting some help. Lots of people do that, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
I wish you luck.
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Over the summer I've lost like 10 pounds. But my arms are like fat and it really bugs me. I lift weights once and a while (10lbs,my parents won't get anything more). What are some other excersices and stuff I can do to make them smaller? Thanks in advance. i'll rate (link)
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I'm afraid that targeted exercise won't eliminate fat in specific areas. You can build up your arm muscles as much as you like, but the muscle tissue won't break down the fat in your arms; assuming that you use more energy to build the muscle than the food that you're eating, your body will burn fat from all over your body.
That's just how it is.
So if you want to reduce the fat in your arms, you'll have to reduce your overall body fat.
Your best options are to eat a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables, drink lots of water, and do cardiovascular exercises every other day - that is, walk (fast), or jog, or run, or bike, or swim, or use some sort of cardio machine at a gym. Your cardio workout needs to last at least 30-40 minutes, and more is better.
That will speed up your metabolism, which will make your body burn fat at a higher rate all the time - even when you're sleeping.
On alternate days, warm up with some light cardio exercise (about 15 minutes) and do weight training (muscle building, that is); you can use free weights or exercise machines. If money is short, you can get an incredible range of exercise with just a couple of five or ten-pound hand weights. By toning up your muscles you'll improve your shape and burn more fat.
That includes your arms; although you won't lose MORE fat specifically in your arms by building up your arm muscles, you'll shape and tone your arms, and they'll look better.
Sit-ups are a fine addition to your muscle-building regimen. Just make sure not to hurt yourself, and give your muscles at least every other day off to rest. After weight training, you can do some more cardio, if you feel up to it. But it's important not to overdo it. If you feel pain, stop and rest! And make sure to stay well-hydrated. Drink a lot of water.
As for motivation...one thing that helps is to make a regular schedule. If you know that from 7 to 8 o'clock (or whenever) every day is your time to work out, you're much more likely to stick to it - particularly once you make it through the first few days.
You can develop that habit surprisingly quickly.
The key to all this is to make the changes in your life *enjoyable*. If you don't like it, you won't do it. So if a particular vegetable or exercise is just too horrible for you, replace it with something else! It's much better to replace an element than to get discouraged and give up completely.
Good luck!
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As of recently I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.
Within our first month of dating, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, out of my own stupidity. About a month later we got in a really big fight.. and I just didn't feel the same about him. Like before the fight we would talk about things like getting married and having kids, but after the fight, It made me feel way too uncomfortable. And I told him that.
Oh.. and a few days ago, he was at the gym, as usual, and some guy gave him some pills, telling him they were Tylonal Cold. For some stupid reason, he took them. He told me, a little bit after he took them, that they were making him dizzy. Then he started talking about how some people were after him and were gonna kidnap him. And then he started takling about how we were supposed to be together in our past lives, and how he wasn't gonna let these people take him away from me again. It really freaked me out..
Now.. I just.. I don't feel the same way I used to about him, and I definately don't feel the same way he does.. He's a tad clingy. Like when I asked him about what he would do if we broke up.. he said he would probably start cutting again, and drinking as well. He also said he might not be able to talk to me for a year or so. And it made me feel really guilty...
I need to know...Do you think I should break up with him? If so, when do you think I should do it, and what should I say?
Thanks very much. (link)
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Just wanted to add a "second" to what Razhie said - she hit the nail right on the head.
You can't live your life for fear of upsetting someone. It's YOUR life, and it's the only one you're going to get.
It sounds like he really needs help, but you're not a therapist, you're a *girlfriend*. And probably a soon-to-be EX-girlfriend.
If you want to be kind, you might look up some numbers for therapy or counseling and give them to him. But you're not comfortable with him, and that's the kiss of death for any relationship.
As for what you should say...the truth almost always is the best. It sounds as if the relationship has gotten too intense for you (in all sorts of ways), so that might be the best way to put it. That way, he can comfort himself by thinking that you were just too weak and couldn't handle the intensity of his love, or something like that.
That should cushion the blow a bit.
One more thing: please be a little cautious. He doesn't SOUND dangerous, but his behaviour so far is certainly odd. So I would suggest not being alone in an isolated place with him when you break up, nor afterwords.
Good luck!
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have you ever airbrushed something before? Do you know anything about it? (link)
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I'm afraid that I don't know much about airbrushing, beyond what it is. Art is one of my weakest areas, apart from cobbling together images for websites.
I ran a quick Google for airbrush advice, and came up with this:
http://www.airbrush.com/
http://www.airbrushshoppe.com/market/advice.html
http://www.finescale.com/fsm/community/forum/topic.asp?page=-1&TOPIC_ID=46770&REPLY_ID=473883
http://www.ipms-seattle.org/tips/ted_pt3.htm
http://www.dickblick.com/categories/airbrush/
You might also try asking in the alt.airbrush.art newsgroup. You can reach it directly using a newsreader program, or via Google at http://groups.google.com/group/alt.airbrush.art?lnk=sg&hl=en .
Good luck!
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me and this guy like eachother.. we met over the internet but we have hung out a few times. well yeah like i said we like eachother and tonight he actually made the first move in putting his arm around me and holding my hand. well as he dropped me off we hugged and i thouhgt id make the first move and kiss him i couldnt really help it, it just happened. well after that he smiled and said that he would call me later. well now its 3 in the morning and i still havent heard from him.. do you think me kissing him was a bad idea? was it too soon? and usually every night we stay up and talk on aim til like 4 and he hasent gotten on and i know hes not sleeping because he doesnt work. and im usually asleep before him.. anyway! did i make the wrong move in making the first move? (link)
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You're worrying too much.
If he likes you, he won't be pushed away because you kissed him first. Believe me, even a VERY shy guy would be extremely unlikely to be bothered by that!
Guys say "I'll call you" a lot. Don't put a lot of meaning on that. There could be all sorts of reasons why he didn't call. Give him a day or two.
Since this is bothering you so much, though, it would probably be good - in a day or two - to IM him or give him a call. Be casual, but if you really want to talk to him about the kiss, do. If you're planning a continuing relationship with him (and it sounds as if you're at least thinking about it seriously), it would be a good idea if you two were able to talk to each other and feel comfortable about it.
A kiss alone would not drive him away, not unless you had the worst breath in the world. So try not to stress out.
Good luck!
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ok so i went to take a pregnancy test today..i read the box which said to pee on the test for 5 seconds..me being the idiot i am..i peed on the cap..im all new at this so i had no clue there was a cap! i dipped the test in the toilet..and it came out negative..im thinking this isnt accurate because of all the water in the toilet..am i right or is it still ok to trust the negative? (link)
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Everyone else has already told you this, but testing the toilet water would only tell you if your toilet was pregnant. :D
Seriously, the test in the toilet water was totally inaccurate. You'll need to take the test again. Please read the directions carefully and follow them.
bound_heart gave you some very good information, but I'll just add one more point: if you want to take the test by peeing in a cup, make sure that it's a CLEAN cup. If it was in a dishwasher, rinse it out at the tap to get rid of any soap residue and dry it (preferably with paper towels).
Better yet, use a clean disposable plastic cup.
Good luck!
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If i want to put a poem in my xanga, how do i make it copyrighted to no one can copy and paste,there are so many people who pass by i'd never know if someone came by and claimed it as theirs.
Thanks,i'll rate high (link)
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Whenever you write ANYTHING it is, by default, copyrighted.
But so are all songs, and we all know how easy THOSE are to steal. On the plus side, people are probably less likely to steal your poem then a top-40 song. :D
There are a few things you can do to increase your protection:
1. You can put an actual copyright statement on the poem, or the page that it's on. Do this by writing "Copyright (year) (your name)".
So if I wanted to put a copyright statement on this post, I'd put:
Copyright 2005 TheOldOne
Of course, you should use your real name. And the statement MUST be clearly visible.
Instead of "Copyright", you can use the copyright symbol, which is a "c" in a circle. That's available in most fonts. However, please note that putting a "c" in parentheses like this (c) is NOT the same thing, and is NOT a valid copyright statement!
If you're really feeling paranoid, you can actually register your poem with the US copyright office: http://www.copyright.gov/
That costs $30 per item you copyright. But please note that the ONLY thing you get from that is a better case if you take a copyright infringer to court. Legally, your work is automatically copyrighted to you as soon as you create it, and you don't need to register it to protect yourself.
You could also take a technical approach to protect your work, of course. For example, put it into Adobe Acrobat 6.0 or higher with maximum security settings. Those security settings are very hard to beat.
If you don't have Acrobat, you could use Adobe's online conversion service (a free trial is available): http://createpdf.adobe.com/
Alternatively, you could turn the poem into a graphic and post it that way. The search engines couldn't capture the text, and people wouldn't be able to copy & paste except in the form of the original graphic.
But in the end, if you want people to be able to READ your poem there will *always* be a way for someone to steal it. There's no way to stop someone from reading it and then writing their own copy by hand, for example.
Good luck!
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I am 17 and my breasts have been about a 36A since they first started growing when I was 13. I couldn't stand the look of them. I was totally flat and my body was uneven since I have a "ghetto-like booty". I was about a 34A when I decided to try and do something about it. I ordered these expensive creams and they only tightened the look of my breasts and there was no real growth visible. After that I grew to a 36A by using these breast growth pills I ordered online. I spent about 100 bucks for a two month supply of it and it only increased my breats from a 34A to a 36A. I have been wearing silicone inverts for about 2 years now to make my body look even. It is frusterating because I know that my real breasts don't look that big. The inverts I use increase my chest a full cup size. So I go from a 36A to a 36B. I want to be able to grow to that size soon without drastic sugery or anything too expensive. My past bfs have all wondered why I would never show them my chest and I don't want it getting around that I use inverts because that is completely embarassing and degrading. I can't even get too physical with my bf because then he will want to see my chest and it is too embarassing for me to talk about or for him to know about. So is there anyone that can please help me! Does anyone know of any type of thing sold online or in stores that effectively increases your bust and does it fast? (link)
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There are only three ways to change the size of your breasts:
1. A push-up or enhancing bra of some kind. Of course, that doesn't really change their size, just how they look. And as you know, it won't help you when your clothes are off.
2. Surgery. There are a number of different kinds of augmentation.
3. Pregnancy.
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but you need to know that ANY non-surgical product which claims to be able to increase the size of your breasts is a scam. Millions and millions of dollars are taken in by crooked companies every year from people looking to increase the size of their breasts or penis.
Not ONE of those people has ever been helped. MANY have been hurt or damaged by the products (particularly the men). And ALL of them have ended up poorer as a result.
I worked for a while at an adult products company that sold some of that stuff, so I know. The bosses used to joke about the stupidity of the customers who bought those products.
Please don't be one of the people who falls for those scams.
Having said that, here are a few things to think about:
1. You're 17. You could still go through a grow spurt, even if your breasts have remained the same size for several years now.
2. Guys like ALL KINDS of female bodies. There are magazines and porn videos dedicated to small-breasted women. Remember, as a woman you can't see your body the way that men do. Try to be proud of your body, and men will respond.
3. Personally I'm against most cosmetic surgery, but if you just can't find a way to be happy with what you've got, breast augmentation is always an option. I've known women who've gone through it, and they're usually very happy with the results.
But honestly, your boyfriend would almost certainly be happier with you as you really are.
Good luck!
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Hey guys..
I have this homework assignment for social studies where I have to makeup a tribe name & tell like a story about it. Its stuupid. But i cant think of a tribe name!! It can be funny or serious. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks! xoxox (link)
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If you want to be funny, call them "Quest".
If you didn't know, there was a hip-hop group named "A Tribe Called Quest" in the 1990s.
Or you could take any tribe name from Survivor. On the other hand, a lot of people will probably do that.
How about calling your tribe "Lawrence", after Lawrence Tribe, the noted constitutional law expert?
Pierced-Nose tribe might be amusing, an English-language version of the Nez Perce tribe.
In reality, most tribes simply called themselves something like "The People" in their own language. So that would work. So would "The Human Beings", which is what the Cheyenne called themselve in the great movie "Little Big Man" (for all I know, they really did call themselves that - but I only know the movie).
If your teacher is a fan of that movie (and there's a decent chance of that - "Little Big Man" was pretty popular) "The Human Beings" might get a laugh out of them, which wouldn't hurt you at grading time.
By the way, I'd REALLY recommend seeing that movie, particularly if you go with that name. It's sad in places and violent, but really funny, too. It's generally considered the first Hollywood movie that didn't use the usual "cowboys & indians" cliches. Way ahead of its time. Some compare it to "Dances With Wolves", others to "Forrest Gump".
Good luck!
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How do you know if you believe in God or if you just think you do? (link)
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Belief in God is faith. Which means that it's impossible for anyone to answer that question for you: it's something that *only you* can answer for yourself.
And maybe you can't. It may take a lifetime of prayer, of thought, of searching, and even then, at the end, you may still not be sure if you truly have faith, or not.
Of course, if there's an afterlife, you may find out *then*.
For now, all you can do is search your heart and see how you feel.
In the meantime, I would suggest that you not let this issue destroy your life. Think, pray, search in whatever way feels right to you. Talk to your spiritual counselor, or if you don't have one, you might want to talk to several different counselors. Live the best life that you can, a life that you can be proud of.
I think, if you do, that in the end you will be satisfied.
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How can you make yourself believe? Can you write "I Believe In God" a thousand times on a sheet of paper? Because I've been having trouble believing lately. (link)
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Faith comes from within. It's an emotional thing. You can't MAKE yourself believe, no matter what you do, any more than you can *make* yourself fall in love with a particular person. You either do, or you don't. But it's not something you can control.
If this issue is really troubling you, you should talk to your spiritual counsellor - your minister, rabbi, priest, Imam, or whatever is appropriate for your particular faith.
If you find that you just can't believe, try not to torture yourself over it. Many other people have been there. I have. It's a hard thing to go through, but it IS survivable.
Good luck!
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I dont want to sound like a jackass or anything, but why do most women (most being the ones that ive talked to on the subject taht are in HS or graduated around the 17-21 age range) not like birth control. Now it seems to me that birthcontrol isnt to bad at all, and that these women dont understand that seriousness of having a baby. Can someone pleas like to explain why someone would rather risk getting pregnant and having an unplanned baby or having an abortion, instead of takin a pill that would save you from alot of trouble.
Sorry about the length, but its a serious subject, 18-m (link)
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I believe it generally comes down to one of two things: ignorance, or passion.
A lot of young women are ignorant of the basic facts of their own biology. This can only be corrected by adequate sex education programs, which are not always available in the United States (I can't speak for sex ed programs in other parts of the world).
Unfortunately some politically powerful people claim that sex ed CAUSES teen pregnancy, and a lot of ignorant adults believe that. Nothing could be farther from the truth, but documentation means nothing to people who feel free to make up their own reality.
The other problem is that hormones, and the drive to reproduce, are incredibly strong. They HAVE to be, or none of us would be here. In fact, if you think about it, you can be sure that *every single one of us* has many accidental, unintentional, unwanted children in our ancestry. And probably not many generations back, either.
Ultimately, we're all accidents. :D
When you're in the throes of passion, it's hard to think about putting on a condom or whether or not you took a pill today. Of course most teens' brains are still not finished growing; there are key areas that have to do with responsibility that don't fully develop until a little bit later.
And some, of course, are just plain immature. Or else, to be blunt, they're stupid.
Sorry, this isn't a very cheerful answer. The one bright spot is that sex ed IS effective, if it's available.
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What is HTML? What does it stand for? And what does it do? (link)
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Others have already told you that it's HyperText Markup Language; it's the original primary code of the web. It has simple commands that allow you to change the look of text, for example. It also allows linking, images, you name it.
It's not hard to learn; I taught it to myself out of a book in 1995 or 96. There are a lot of free online references for it. Here are some:
http://www.htmlgoodies.com/
http://archive.ncsa.uiuc.edu/General/Internet/WWW/HTMLPrimer.html
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&q=introduction%20to%20HTML
It's really useful to know some HTML, because it lets you do all sorts of neat things in all sorts of places online.
Good luck!
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Hey does anyone here know any latin or greek or anything? Its about my love life but i cant say anything right now cause im afraid he'll read it, cause he uses this site too. So if you answer this question i'll tell you how it has to do with my love life.its soo cute you wont belive it!! I'll tell you what this guy did and you'll be speechless!! It has to do with greek mythology..but i didnt get the whole thing..so i need someone who knows stuff like that. (link)
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I'm pretty knowledgeable on Greek mythology and Latin. I'm stronger than most people in Greek, too. Feel free to ask me something.
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would taking several birthcontrol pills cause a miscarriage? (link)
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If you want to end a pregnancy, you should see a doctor.
According to the information that I've found, the "morning after" pill is basically a larger dose of birth control pills. ( http://www.emergencybirthcontrol.org/ ). But they ONLY work up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. After that, they won't work and they could hurt you and your baby.
And you could hurt yourself with the wrong dosage. You REALLY should go to a doctor to learn your options.
If you need help to find a doctor or clinic, you can look them up on Planned Parenthood: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
Please don't try to give yourself a miscarriage. Girls can *die* from that. Get medical help!
Assuming, of course, that you're pregnant.
Good luck!
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My dog's throwing up blood, and I need to know, is there anything we can do??? & We can't go to the vet. (link)
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CALL THE VET. If the vet is closed, get a phone book and look up other vets, or emergency animal hospitals in your area. Some vets will have an answering service or message on their voicemail which will give the number for a 24-hour veterinary hospital in your area.
Vomiting blood is a VERY bad sign. There may be little time to lose. Hurry, and good luck!
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Male/17
Hey, I’m usually the one giving advice. I don’t need advice. I just have a question and I want to know your opinion. This question is for deep thinkers. Long answers are encouraged as well as comical ones.
I’ve seen quite a lot of “love” questions, asked by adolescences. What would you call "true love"? Many people have been saying “I have a boyfriend and I REALY love him” and “she said that he loves me” or things like that. I’ve seen these questions being asked by 13 year olds! Teens DO have deep affections for people, but I really don’t think that they are capable of TRUE love. How can there be love if teen relationships only last 2 months or even 2 years! 2 years is quite long for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, but shouldn’t love last a LIFETIME? I agree that teens think that they are in love (I’ve been there) but I wouldn’t call that love. I would call it more like, “deep affection”. After all, if love between teens is really “love” then they shouldn’t break up, right? I think that teens are too young and “unexposed” to have TRUE LOVE. Even adults. They mistakenly call their relationships “love”. If it was actually love, then shouldn’t there be less or no divorces?
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Love is just a word. A label. To assume that it describes something that objectively exists is probably a mistake.
Billions of people throughout the history of the world have felt an emotion that they called "love" (in whatever language), and NO TWO of them were the same. Most "loves" are almost certainly related, of course, in a broad spectrum of emotion, but there's no way to take those emotions out of the minds that are feeling them and place them side by side.
Each of us is ultimately alone inside our heads. Barring telepathy, there's no way to compare love. It's unique for every person, and every person must decide for themselves what "love" means to them.
In my own experience, though, I can say this one thing with certainty: No love compares with the feeling that most people have for their children. When you KNOW that you'd be willing to die for someone...as far as I'm concerned, *that's* love.
And it's the one love, apart from self-love, that I believe almost always lasts a lifetime. Relationship love can last that long too, of course, but it's always a matter of *choice* on some level. Whereas love for your offspring is profoundly genetic, tying into the most basic drive of all - that of survival.
Of course there have been studies of the biochemistry of being "in love" which indicate (as I recall) that it lasts about two years or so, and exists purely for the evolutionary purpose of keeping a father around long enough to help protect and ensure the survival of offspring. But even an old rationalist like me won't fall into that trap. :D
We're more than just chemicals and automatic responses.
I wouldn't take it on myself to tell ANYONE if their love was or wasn't "real". I'll admit that when it comes to teens, given the state of total chaos that most of them are in - the storm of hormones and confusion - I suspect that it's impossible to separate out love and horniness (or agape and eros, if you prefer).
But if they want to tell me that they're in love, who am I to tell them that they're wrong? Even if I did, they'd just ignore me - and rightfully so.
Man, am I glad I'm not a teen any more! :D
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Who are your favorite short story authors? What are some of your favorite short stories? I have primarily read only novels, so I am interested in expanding my knowledge in regards to shorter fiction. (link)
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I'll start with older writers whose stories are online.
I'm a HUGE fan of Lord Dunsany. He wrote a long time ago, so his stories are mostly in the public domain. Which means that you can read them for free online! http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Dunsany/89/
O. Henry is well known for classic short stories. Here's a link to a couple hundred of them: http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Henry/108/
H.G. Wells - you can read a lot of his stories online, since they're no longer copyrighted. Warning, some of them are pretty dark. http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Wells/73/
Edgar Allan Poe - Another old-time writer, but just because he's old doesn't mean he didn't write some really good stories. http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Poe/109/
I've heard really good things about Saki, although I haven't yet read his stuff: http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Saki/77/
Mark Twain was awesome. http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Twain/2/
Robert Louis Stevenson: http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Stevenson/93/
A lot of people LOVE P.G. Wodehouse. He's not for everyone, but you might like him: http://www.readbookonline.net/stories/Wodehouse/103/
Here's a link to a bunch of other old short stories: http://www.readbookonline.net/shortStory/
Other, more recent authors that I like:
"The Thirteen Clocks" is an AMAZING story by James Thurber. It's kind of like "The Princess Bride". The link may not stay up forever, so read it while you can. http://virtual.dyc.edu/~glomach/writing/13clocks.htm
J.D. Salinger
Robert Sheckley
Fredric Brown
Cordwainer Smith
Sheckley, Brown, and Smith are all science fiction writers. Most of their stuff is rare now, but the library should have or be able to get copies of their books for you. Sheckley and Brown did very funny, clever stories, and Smith's stories were simply amazing: he grew up in China, the son of a US diplomat, and his stories are like nobody else's in the world. I can't recommend his stuff enough. "Scanners Live In Vain" is his best-known story.
I hope you enjoy these!
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Why do guys have to turn and cough when they get their physical? (link)
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Coughing temporarily increases internal body pressure. It helps the doctor tell if you have an inguinal hernia. You don't have to cough when the doctor is checking your prostate; that's a rectal exam, which is quite different.
Fortunately you shouldn't have to worry about that until you turn 40 or so. And to be honest, it's not really painful.
Here's a site with some good information about hernias for teens:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/hernias.html
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Can i simply have a yes or no answer to this question:
My brother used to put his hands down the back of my trousers and grab my butt and stuff like that, i told him to stop but he wouldnt. is this abuse? (link)
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It's very inappropriate, and yes, it falls under the category of abuse. You should talk to your parents about it, but perhaps you should first tell your brother that that's what you're going to do, if he doesn't stop.
He may say that's squealing, but he's the one who started out by breaking the rules. And since he's presumably bigger and stronger than you, it's totally appropriate for you to bring your parents into this.
It's not "squealing" to call the police when someone has stolen your stuff after all. Your brother is family, but what he's doing is REALLY inappropriate.
NO ONE has the right to touch your body when you don't want them to. Period. End of sentence.
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