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Breaking up?
As of recently I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.
Within our first month of dating, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, out of my own stupidity. About a month later we got in a really big fight.. and I just didn't feel the same about him. Like before the fight we would talk about things like getting married and having kids, but after the fight, It made me feel way too uncomfortable. And I told him that.
Oh.. and a few days ago, he was at the gym, as usual, and some guy gave him some pills, telling him they were Tylonal Cold. For some stupid reason, he took them. He told me, a little bit after he took them, that they were making him dizzy. Then he started talking about how some people were after him and were gonna kidnap him. And then he started takling about how we were supposed to be together in our past lives, and how he wasn't gonna let these people take him away from me again. It really freaked me out..
Now.. I just.. I don't feel the same way I used to about him, and I definately don't feel the same way he does.. He's a tad clingy. Like when I asked him about what he would do if we broke up.. he said he would probably start cutting again, and drinking as well. He also said he might not be able to talk to me for a year or so. And it made me feel really guilty...
I need to know...Do you think I should break up with him? If so, when do you think I should do it, and what should I say?
Thanks very much.
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It sounds like this relationship is a tad dangerous. I was in something like this once before and it ended really bad. As much as you may want to remain friends with him it usually doesnt work. If he said that if you guys break up he will start cutting agian, thats putting the guilt trip on you to keep you together with him, and thats not fair to you. You dont need or deserve that kind of pressure. From my point of view, and knowing what I had gone through, its better to get out of those relationships when you find out something like that. Chances are he wont start cutting again, or comit suicide or anything like that. they just say that because they care for you, or think that they do and dont want to lose that so they go to drastic measures to keep that person there with them. If you were to break up with him and take my advice, you could say that you think it would be best if you could have a little space, say things are going on and feelings are getting mixed up and you want to make sure of how you feel before the relationship goes any further. Also, if he asked you to marry him within the first month, it almost seems like he doesnt have anything in his life to cling onto, or possibly anyone to love him, so he chooses his girlfriend that is close to him, and asks them to marry him so that he can have something to hang on to to support himself, and yes thats fine to support each other, but they have to be stable on their own and just need extra support, not full support. =/
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well
if i was you i would break up with him....
hes making you feel guilty by saying he'll start cutting and drinking again ... it sounds like its working. so whats changed from before and after the fight? what was it about? what was said? did he abuse you in any kind of way? he sounds kinda possesive. people change over time and im guessing you've done that. he asked you to marry him after a month of being together? i think he is a very insecure person and being with you made him feel more secure so thats why hes acting to make you feel guilty. go with what your heart says. no one can make that kind of desicion for you. just remember to keep calm and beg him not to do anything stupid like cutting and drinking.
hope i helped. anything else just drop one in my inbox
emma xox
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I think you need to break up with him. I agree he seems a little to clingy. Don't let anyone rush you into thinking of getting married so quickly.
What he does after you break up is his problem. Please do not be blackmailed into staying with this guy. Break up with him, just say you no longer have feelings for him, and if he acts goofy...contact an adult in his life to deal with it. It is not your problem. I would do it soon. :)
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Yes- if your questioning you should- he came on way to strong- Good Luck- you'll do the right thing
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Listen to your heart... go with wat your heart says.. if he is worth it keep him if hes not dump him.. if you can find a back up boy then dump ur boyfriend and go with him.. i would say stay with him.. untill you have your back up boy and when you do if he doesnt act the way he used to tell him to pack his bags.. the choice is yours..
Alyssa<33
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Just wanted to add a "second" to what Razhie said - she hit the nail right on the head.
You can't live your life for fear of upsetting someone. It's YOUR life, and it's the only one you're going to get.
It sounds like he really needs help, but you're not a therapist, you're a *girlfriend*. And probably a soon-to-be EX-girlfriend.
If you want to be kind, you might look up some numbers for therapy or counseling and give them to him. But you're not comfortable with him, and that's the kiss of death for any relationship.
As for what you should say...the truth almost always is the best. It sounds as if the relationship has gotten too intense for you (in all sorts of ways), so that might be the best way to put it. That way, he can comfort himself by thinking that you were just too weak and couldn't handle the intensity of his love, or something like that.
That should cushion the blow a bit.
One more thing: please be a little cautious. He doesn't SOUND dangerous, but his behaviour so far is certainly odd. So I would suggest not being alone in an isolated place with him when you break up, nor afterwords.
Good luck!
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Break up with him. Soon.
This guy is using some classic moves to try and keep you in a relationship that makes you very uncomfortable. He's telling you the two of you are meant to be and then making you guilty for doubting him.
Try and be nice about the breakup, but also be firm. You have seen that this guy isn't completely in touch with reality. It would probably be best if you didn't talk to him for a while after the breakup. He'll only try to guilt you into taking him back.
Please remember you are not responsible for his behavior! He is going to do what he is going to, maybe even cut or drink. You can't stop him. Your first responsiblity is too look out for your own wellbeing, so get out of this relationship.
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