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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

So, I'm having a spinal fusion for scoliosis this June. All i get is a crummy weekend vacation. I live in New England. Are there any particularly fun (and safe) places for a weekend vacation? I can't go to theme parks. Or water parks. Plz help :( I want to have fun this summer.

i can only contact you over this site. no he was at work and his ambulance was in an accident. In attempting to protect the baby he was transpoering his back was injured.

Unfortunately I do not live in your area so I cannot be of much help in answering your question.

The reason for writing you is the fact that my son had a spinal fusion about 6 years ago. He was hospitalized for 3 days and recovered at home for about 3 weeks. Then he was allowed physical therapy to strengthen his back muscles. His physical therapist very quickly allowed him to do much more than he thought he would be allowed.

While he could not go to theme parks he was able to drive his car and travel great distances. Being a NASCAR devotee he travelled to several distant states to watch races after only, If I remember correctly, just 5 or 6 weeks after surgery.

So if you follow the doctors and physical therapist directions you just maybe able to salvage a part of your summer vacation on the other end of your recovery.

By the way my son is a paramedic/firefighter. He was injured at work. He was given a 30/70 chance of returning to work as a firefighter. Two years after being injured he returned to work. It was hard work on his part and the dedication of a very skilled physical therapist.

Good luck, listen to the doctors and therapist and hopefully you can still have a good summer vacation. Let me know how your surgery goes. I'm a good listener if you need an ear while recovering.

I am 23 .I broke my hymen by masturbation.I am very simple girl and only child of my parents.I am having guilty of masturbating.The thought is killing me.I am getting mental weakness due to the thought of my broken hymen and marriage.I am very emotional and leaving a relationship just coz of this tissue will kill me.But telling to my parents is difficult.If i had known about it before.i had never masturbated.i can manage the amount of money needed for hymenoplasty but my heart is saying no to me and also i am not having anybody with me to visit the doctor .I am having sleepless nights just because of this thought.Whole day i just think of my lower part.When my parents talk to me about marriage i totally get irritated and donot lyk to marry anyone.I had study in co-educated schools but never had bf or any other relationship i am totally pure but no proof.I am dying day by day

Masturbation is just one way a women can break her Hymen and then only if she uses a dildo or other object that penetrates her vagina.

There are many way for a Hymen to be torn. Use of a Tampon is the most often way a girl tears her Hymen. Then there is the playing of most recreational sport that can cause a Hymen to become dislodged. Horseback riding, bike riding and motorcycle riding to name of few more.

There is an inherent risk to any surgery. Among those risks is infection. Even when using a piece of your own skin to form a Hymen the risk of infection in that area is high and the end result may be to remove the piece of skin to resolve the infection.

There are only a few areas in this world where by custom or religion a man must marry a virgin. The proof a virginity is usually accepted to be a blood stained bed sheet after first intercourse. If you do not live in one of these areas or do not closely follow this type of religion. The man you may eventually marry, should you marry, would not expect someone of your age to be a virgin.

If I were a women I would not consider a hymenoplasty and the risk of infection. For the risk of infection could also end any chance of my having children. A man looking for a virgin wife would also be a man wanting to have children.

Your ffuture husband will just have to trust that even without a blood stained sheet no man has ever touched you sexually. If he can't except that then he doesn't deserve you as his wife.

i had sex with my bf bt he didnt ejected on me. bt i feel if sumthing is wrong thats why for being on a safe side i have taken an i-pill within 72hrs(exactly at 49th hrs). so is there any chances of being pregnant?

None of us can say yes or no to this question for certain. The further the time the i-pill is taken from the time of intercourse the higher the chance of becoming pregnant.

There are a whole host of things that have to go right in order for you to become pregnant. The one thing you did wrong was having unprotected sex. The fact that he did not cum in you does not mean sperm was not released in you during intercourse.

The male releases a small amount of seminal fluid during intercourse which acts as a lubricant. Within the seminal fluid are semen. This is why the pull out method of birth control has such a high rate of failure. The male has no control of this emission.

I believe the instructions on the i-pill also include waiting two weeks after taking it then taking a home pregnancy test. This is the only was to know for sure if you are or are not pregnant. I would also suggest if for some reason your period does not arrive when it should taking a second pregnancy test. If this too is negative a visit with you GYN in order.

My boyfriend is 15 and I just turned 13 a week ago and he's turning 16 in june well anyway I finger myself every night that I'm not busy with anything if a friend sleeps over or I sleep at a friend then I don't but my boyfriend and I have phone sex and I get dressed in front of him I do modeling btw and we've been dating for a year now but he's only watched me finger myself and I've seen him touching himself but we haven't done anything but we really want to!! I'm feeling so horny while I right this I always am :'(

Time for a little grandfatherly advice. Since I am of that age I will offer some. You are way to young to be even thinking of having sex or dating a boy 3 years older than you.

First the age difference. If you were 23 and 26 the difference in ages would be no big deal. At 13 and 16 the age difference is tremendous. The difference in you maturity both in body development and mind is huge. He has 3 years more worldly experience than you do. This experience is important to your social development as well as your sexual development.

First: Sexually you are still trying to figure out just who you are sexually. Puberty is playing hard and fast with you. It is why you masturbate whenever you can. There is nothing wrong with masturbation it helps you relieve the sexual tension brought on by puberty as well as explore you inner sexuality.

If word gets out at school that yo are having sex, and it will; as boys are horrible about keeping those things secret. You will be very popular for all the wrong reasons. You will be labeled with words you will not like. Then you will be writing us, as others do on a daily basis on how to live down those words.

Second: Is the fact that your body is still developing. Yes you may have developed early and have a womanly body. Yes you can even get pregnant. Yet with all that your body is not yet ready for sex. For one thing it will be extremely painful for you at this time to accept a boys penis into your vagina as it is not ready. Second of course is the fact of unwanted pregnancy. You are to young to be on or get birth control except for medical reasons.

Third: Life at times is like an algebra problem. You cannot skip a section of the method and expect to get the right answer. This is very important when it comes to proper development of life skills. You need to develop the life skills that come with dating boys your own age. Skipping over this period will cause you to miss out on a very important developmental process.

Going 1,3,4 instead of 1 2,3,4 is very important and will pay great dividends later in life. Something you will not understand now but please trust me and the wisdom of my age when I tell you this. If it were possible to jump from one to another without doing the middle everyone would do it. It just cannot be done in any part of life we are pursuing.

Right now you are both in love and infatuated by the fact that an older boy has an interest in you. I believe and I have been proven right to many times. That his interest in you is simply one of getting from you what he can't get from a girl in his own age group. Why is this so. Simply because you are so young and you have not developed the skills the older girls has. It is also part of the infatuation you have developed by having such an older boyfriend.

These are facts not fiction. As I said in the beginning if you were both 10 years older my advice would be entirely different. I would be suggesting you follow your instincts. Trusting you have properly developed those instincts by following the proper path to maturity.

I am a student, living on my own in a student house. I've got a washing machine that I can use freely (there is no issues sharing it with the four other people living here) but I can't seem to get into a routine or a productive way of taking care of my laundry. Let me elaborate: I generally leave the laundry baskets overflowing until I run out of clothes or underwear. I know that's pathetic, but I just can't seem to get into a cycle of doing my laundry regularly. The issue is that the machine fits 3kgs of laundry which is almost nothing, meaning that it fits about half of a laundry basket if even that.(standard size.. think Ikea's Antonius laundry basket)

Ideally, I'd put things in the wash as soon as I have a machineful, but it rarely happens. Do any of you have any tips on how I could get into a better routine or perhaps motivate myself to put things in the wash as soon as I have a machineful, instead of neglecting it until I have a clothes crisis and then need to do near 6 loads in one go...

Your problem has three parts to it. Part 1: You have a time management problem. Part two: Like most of us you are a bit lazy when it comes to laundry. Part Three: You may be living on your own for the first time which relates back to part one.

I can help with part one. Part one is simply a matter of putting a schedule down on paper an then working the schedule. You have a schedule of classes so this is the place to start.

Take a sheet of paper and mark it off into seven days across the top in landscape style. Down the side mark of the hours from 7am to midnight. Now fill in your weekly class schedule.

Now that you have your class schedule filled in you can see where in your day you have gaps when you can return home to study. You may have been doing doing you between class studying on campus. If you live on campus and do not need to be in a study hall or library you can return home to study. Should one of your roommates not be using the laundry machines you can put a load in. You will need about an hour an a half for each load.

Mark on your schedule the days you were able to use the laundry. Once you see which days are free you can chose two or three days to do laundry. You probably won't need to do six loads if you do your laundry on a regular schedule.

Now fill in the rest of you time management schedule with the rest of your study time plus time you may need for any job you have and of course free time for entertainment.Add to your schedule anything else I may have left out that is needed to be done each week or on a monthly basis.

This is not a totally rigid schedule as things change. You may need more study time around exam week or in the event of a special project. You adjust your schedule as needed but you keep the schedule in writing.

To do this now time management will be come second nature something you will find very important when you go out into the adult working world. This is also something if learn to master you can put on your resume when applying for a job as this is a skill employers look for in candidates.

I hope I have helped you.

I'm afard to have my first period at school HELP!
What should I do ?
I will be inbrssed if I have it at school and it bleeds throo my pants HELP ME PLE.AS

The other two advisers have given you good advice. Your period will come when it it is ready but you can be prepared for it to come at a time when it may be inconvenient for you.

You should start to feel the signs that your period is about to make its grand first arrival. You will feel cramping and general discomfort in your lower stomach area. When this starts I would suggest you start wearing a panty liner. This should be sufficient to keep the first few drops of blood from staining and seeping through your clothes. Put in your purse or back pack a full size sanitary napkin to use should you find evidence on the panty liner at school or anywhere else that your period is starting.

There is an old saying about planning. It goes like this; "There are those that fail to plan and those that plan to fail." If you take the proper precautions to guard against what you are fearful of then you have planed to succeed.

This is also something you should be discussing with mom. This is not sex, it is something that effects the proper workings of your reproductive organs. Mom is the best person to ask about what and how to take care of yourself when your period arrives. She can help you choose the proper panty liner and sanitary napkin as well as tell you how they are used. So take my advice and talk to mom. Your period is a normal bodily function of a young lady your age and mom is probably waiting for you to come to her as her mother waited for her to come to her.

Hey, I'm 16, a Junior in High School. I've never had what has even come close to a relationship in my life. Honestly, I dont know what my problem is. Im about 6 foot and, I mean, Im slightly heavy but really its not noticeable when I have a shirt on. I dress casually but nicely, all my clothes fit me well, I don't smell, and I dont harbor disgusting habits (minus biting my nails, but thats not too terrible).

On the personality side of things, I talk to a wide variety of people. Nerdy, sporty, drama-y, and of both genders. However, I've only ever had very few close friends, and those I talk to I strictly make small talk to at school, nothing further, no texting or calling or anything.

I'm a pretty happy guy in general, I crack jokes every once in a while. I carry myself confidently, even though on the inside I'm super insecure. I make good eye contact and smile when I do it, and regularly compliment the girls I usually talk to (I have a crush on one of them).

What's my problem? I think it might be something along the lines of the fact that I might have some kind of crippling fear of rejection, which might be why I never move my relationships past casual aquiantances.

Also I'm a male.

Relax your a normal 16 year old male who is somewhat of a late bloomer and somewhat introverted. From the way you describe yourself you also have not yet gained the self confidence you need to ask a girl out.

Somewhere in your younger days you missed the hanging out phase where boys and girls all hang out together. The places most younger people go to might have been at the mall or the movies to hang out together until a parent comes to get them. Being a pit "Nerdy" as you put it may have kept you home studying.

This is not a big deal at this time. To be honest at this time being a bit nerdy is better as this is how you will get into the better colleges. The kids you are seeing today or friends you may have today will fall to the way side as you go off to college and go out into the adult world.

The friends that you make for life will be some of the friend you make at college and as you go into the adult world. Being nerdy now will allow you to be better prepared for the future. This is when you will find a life companion when you have more to offer than just friendship.

But, there is always a but, if this is a bother to you. Then I suggest you talk to mom and dad about seeing a psychologist who is some one you can talk freely to in confidence. Who will not tell anyone including your parents what you talk about. Who once you divulge what is truly causing you to have a low level of confidence with girls will help you raise that level.

i had unprotected sex with my husband and took an i-pill with 23 hrs.after taking it i absolutely have no symptoms. can i be pregnant

More information is needed to answer this question. Information such as how long ago the unprotected sex took place. If it has been two weeks or more you could try a home pregnancy test to find out.

The morning after pills are fairly good but not perfect. You took it with in the recommended time span so the odds are you are not pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test now if it has been two weeks since the unprotected intercourse. If it is negative and your period does not arrive as it should then take another home test. If this too is negative consult your GYN.

ok so here goes, i have strong feelings for a married man, about a year ago he started giving me extra attention in work,nothing to much a hug here and there, he did want to come over to my house a few times but he never did as i wouldnt allow it, he also has tried in the past to kiss me whislt we were in work,which i didnt allow, thing is that i have really strong feelings for him and cannt get over these feelings, i have to see him most days in work and cannot avoid him as we have to work together, i dont want an affair with him, but its getting really hard to work with him and lately i cannot be around him because of how i feel about him, at the moment we arent even talking much only if one of us has a work question for the other, its down to me that we arent talking because i have tried to put up a wall between me and him as i cannt conitune acting the way i used to around him because its getting way to hard for me how can i stop these feelings or should i just tell him how i feel and see can we work it out as i said i dont want an affair i dont want to be the other women in his life,

From what you have written what is happening between you and this coworker fits the description of sexual harassment and unfair work environment. Both of which are EEOC violations which can cost him his job.

What you should do is first inform him that his advance are not wanted. If he continues to try to kiss you or touch you in Unacceptable manners you will have to go to your supervisor and report him.

If for some reason talking to him in this manner is unsuccessful or you feel there is a good old boys club going on at work then go to your HR department and file an EEOC report with them.

Should you work for a small company where there is no HR department and the owner is the supervisor and nothing is done. Then you can go to your State EEOC office and file a complaint.

My wife and I have been married for 20+ years. We are both in our mid-40's and have two teenage boys. Both my wife and I were in multiple failed relationships before we met. So, we both had other sexual partners before our marriage. Since our marriage, I can't speak for my wife, but I believe our relationship has been monogamous; at least I have been monogamous. My wife even after kids, still has the figure of a 20 year old. I am still in good shape only 15 pounds heavier than when we married, but I am not chiseled anymore and have a slight muffin top form with a receding hairline. I think that our sex life is great! We still go at it like rabbits 4 sometimes 5 nights a week. Although, I must admit that I am not the man I was 20 years ago. I used to be able to maintain an erection all night and hammer away at the wife time and time again. The past 10 years or so it seems that after the first shot, I am ready to go to sleep; one and done. Even those little blue pills don't seem to help. Recently, my wife tells me that I don't satisfy her sexually anymore. My wife tells me that she still loves me. She claims that her love for me will never change since she has 2 kids and 20 years invested in me. But, my wife says she wants to sleep with other men. Not only that, but black men as well. My wife tells me that she dreams of screwing a black guy at work. She tells me that her girlfriend at work, another married woman has had an affair with this same black guy. Her girlfriend's husband knows nothing about the affair which my wife thinks is absolutely wrong! She says it is one thing to sleep with other men with your husband's approval and just plain down right dirty to sneak around behind your spouse's back. Her girlfriend tells her that this black guy has a 13 or 14 inch cock and thick as her arm. Now, I am fairly well endowed; I am about 10 or 11 inches and pretty thick but I am not quite as big as him. Although it has been more that 20 years since I had another woman, I don't ever remember a woman complaining about my cock. If they said anything at all about my cock, they said it was the biggest they ever had! My wife soaked her panties last night telling me about this black guy's huge cock. It made for some damn good sex while she was telling me about him, but afterwards it made me feel puny. I am worried. Is it lust?, infatuation?, or am I losing her? I told her I would have to think about it. I must confess that I feel like a pervert, but I have been checking my wife's panties in the laundry for some time now and have not found any unusually soiled panties. Therefore, I don't think that she has cheated. At least not yet. But I am afraid that if I say "NO", she will cheat. Her cheating girlfriend wants her to do a 3some. For your information; I am not a cuckold and have no desire to be dominated or submissive in my marriage. To me marriage is a shared responsibility and the husband and wife are equal partners. Personally, I have no desire to be with another woman, but I wonder what she would say if I had asked her for permission first? What do you think I should do?

This is a question I have not seen on this sight before.

I think what this boils down to is can you agree to your wife having sex with other men? If the answer is yes then I would suggest she not have sex with the man she is talking about. Simply because the risks to you is to high. The risk is not that your wife would leave you but in what she may bring home in the way of an STD.

Now if you feel you can agree to your wife having sex with other men. Before you do so ask her this question. Will she agree to you having sex with other women as well? Do this for two reasons. One; to see if what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Two if she agrees I have an alternate solution for you.

The alternate solution would be to join a swing club. You can if you chose to have sex with other women or you can just enjoy the social aspects. No one will force you to have sex if you so not wish to.

While my wife and I are not swingers we do have friends that are. They tell us swinging is just sex it is not love making. Sex as in empty calories, fulfilling an urge or a need but not the same as making love to their spouse. They do not view it as cheating since the both participate and it is a healthier outlet as the clubs have rules and all must prove themselves STD free before joining.

By asking your wife if she is willing to allow you to have sex with other women you will also find out if this is an infatuation born out of the stories her friends are telling her.

From what you wrote that she has said to you I do not think you are loosing her. Being in her mid to late 40's your wife is staring at or even may be entering menopause. This is a time some women get the female opposite of the male 7 year itch a heightened sex drive. This may be here way of scratching that itch.

Should you not be able to live with your wife having sex with other men. Then the only other thing I can suggest is counseling with a good sex counselor/marriage counselor.

If im 16 years of age is it legal to have sex with someone the same sex as me?? And how can i get tested for STI and STDs??

Braiden's answer is incorrect on the age of consent. Most states the age of consent has been raised to 18. Some states still have 17 as the age of consent but only a few. You can find the age of consent for you state by using a search engine and outing in "age of consent in(then enter your state).

The age of consent is generally held for when an underage person has sex with a person over the age of consent who is then considered an adult. There is in some states and offset age though here again because of recent sexual actions by predators this too has been removed.

i want to increase my breast size it is almost negligible i am age of 25 and gonna marry soon.can you tell me any sort of cream or medicine.

I agree with Razhie there are no creams or medication that will increase the size of your breasts only surgery.

Before you consider surgery may I be so bold as to offer some advise. There are only two people who you have to consider when thinking about Breast Enhancement surgery. That would be you and you new husband. Your future husband is marrying you the person who resides within the body. You and your body as it is, is what first attracted him to you. Outer beauty alone is not what attracts and keeps us together. There is the inner beauty which is you or him that makes for the relationship.

Surgery of any type has its risks associated with it. If for some reason you feel you must have your breasts enhanced then do it the right way.

Start with a Board Certified Surgeon in Plastic Surgery. Make sure to see before and after photo's of previous surgeries done for breast enhancement.

This type of surgery is not covered by insurance so the full cost is yours to cover. This type of surgery can run as high as $25K and higher depending on how it is don or as low as $5K to $10K.

My wife need to have a breast removed due to a lump found. Because of this she had reconstructive surgery and enhancement of the other breast. The plastic Surgeon we chose charged $20,000. Our insurance company was not happy. They wanted a different surgeon. We stuck to our guns as this surgeon was within their network. Long story short; you cannot tell buy looking at my wife which breast is the reconstructed and which is her original. The surgeon they offered us when we looked at his work was no where near as good as the surgeon we chose.

This is the type of surgery you are not going to want to have regrets over. so if at any time you decide to have this type of surgery make sure you can afford to get the best surgeon.

I know you did not ask for the advice given. I offered it because I'm fairly certain it would be the next thing on your mind. Having unfortunately having to have gone through it I thought you might find the information useful.

Congratulation on you up coming wedding. May you to have a long and happy life together.

Hello, me and my girlfriend are both 20 years old. We are possibly pregnant and currently live with our parents. We are looking to get a place for us to live and start a family. We both have well standing jobs and would have no problem paying a monthly mortage.The only problem both of us have so so credit. We both have credit cards at the limit because of where we live now with our parents we need to help out and spend alot of money. We also have no one in our family that could co-sign with credit. We would probably have a down payment problem to its hard for us to save when we are paying for our familes bills right now. our city has a program that matches down payments and pays closing costs for new home buyers they match the down payment up to 5000 so if we had 2500 it would make our downpayment 5000. We really need a house asap though. Right now we havnt told our parents anything, so im trying to find out something on here. We arent looking for a multi-million dollar home loan. The three houses we are looking at are all under 90,000. We were wondering if anyone knew anywhere that gives loans to people with ehh credit and the rest of our situation? Please help us out!

There are many different things than loan officers look at when they look at loan applications. Not everything is on the application itself. One thing I believe is still on the application which is marital status.

A married couple of your age is more likely to be given a better outlook than a cohabiting couple of your age. Commitment means a lot to some loan officers and may offset to some degree low credit scores, especially a young couple such as yourselves.

Also do not just look to Banks for home loans. Look at finance companies as well. Just make sure
they are a reputable company by checking with your local Better Business Bureau.

My mortgage is with is with OneMain Financial a company I can recommend as I have done business with them for many years. At one point I ran in to some financial trouble and they bailed me out by refinancing my mortgage. Interest rates were very high at the time and they told me they would refinance again when rates came down. My credit score was not the greatest at the time; now it is in the high 700 area and they are after me to refinance again. The difference now is I need the mortgage interest deduction for my taxes so I keep the high interest rate. The Phone calls are very amusing.

You won't be in that position with a young family though with a less than great credit score you may have to accept a higher interest rate until the have a year or two of experience with you then you can talk to them about refinancing to a lower interest rate.

Before you go to any bank or finance company sit down and put together a monthly budget. At the top is your combined monthly take home pay. Then list all of your monthly expenses, and items budgeted for, which would include:

Estimated mortgage payment, Utilities (Gas, electric, water , phone(s), food, doctors, clothing, daycare, car payments, car insurance, mortgage insurance(will be required), misc. bills entertainment, savings(even if it is only a few dollars a month) emergency funds. list any other items you feel you should have in your budget.

You may feel the entertainment, savings and emergency funds are optional budget items. Loan Officers like to see these on a budget. Entertainment is important because it is not good to be house poor. You need time to yourselves to get away and relax. Savings and emergency funds are also important as it speaks volumes about you to them.

Last but not least is finding a lender is a numbers game. If one turns you down keep trying someone will lend you the money. Also try and find a mortgage broker they only get paid if they find you a mortgage and they do all the leg work.

What is important here is finding a place for you and your new family. I know your living with your family and you say your paying their bills. That has to stop. Your adults now and your family, meaning you, your newborn child and wife/girlfriend come first. Your bills and your home come before everything and anyone else. If this also means you need to rent an apartment for a few years there is no shame in that. Make your budget and stick to in. Then pay of your bills and you will improve your credit and have money for a down payment.

I am 24 male I am living at home with my family and I have no job no friends and am really depressed . This all started 8 months ago I used to live in a small mining town in a fifo work camp with my ex fiancee . I had friends really good money job was good and I had a fiancee that I loved ,things were good other than Gove the place as it was isolated and there wasn't much to do but I was independent and my life was going ok for a while . I had a lot of issues with this fiancee she was pretty bad to me she lie to me about everything she flirted with guys in front of me and contacted her ex who wanted to have sex with her and she lied to me about it , she did all sorts of shit to me and yes I was stupid to have gotten engaged to her but I put up with it all because I loved her so much and I thought she would see how good I am to her and change , we were together for 3 years then one day out of nowhere bang she txt me and brakes up with me over a message she couldn't even see me face to face . We worked together side by side at work and we lived together as well , I was devastate I hated coming to work and seeing her all happy while I was so down and depressed I couldn't eat sleep nothing , I tried begging her to take me back and she said ok i will give you anther go, i was so happy i went and got her flowers and candy and come straight back to see her at work at lunch I walked up to her and hugged her and gave her the flowers and stuff, only for her to say to me "um can we just be friends" i was shocked we were never friends and half an hour ago she told me I had another chance ? I told her "we never were friends you know that" , and she said "well I am leaving so that's that" . She burnt me like a fool I was left there with the flowers alone . That day I quite my good job and packed my room up and decided to leave I couldn't be around her anymore . My friends were upset and angry with her for what she did to me and making me feel as if I had to go . My good mate Rhys he went back to work straight up and told my ex that she is a bitch and she should be ashamed of her self , he told her that I was leaving and she fucked me up good he did all this in front of everyone at work to shame her after doing it to me earlier that day . As I was leavening my room that night my ex Kadin come up and told me "please don't go I love you " beau I told her "I love you to but I have to go now I can't see you anymore it's too hard for me" , I left her crying at my room as I left . I was a mess I loved her even tho she was a bitch to me .when I got to my family's place in Tasmania I was hoping to pick up a job fast as I have heaps of tickets from working in the refinery in Gove , I don't know people here as I don't go out only time I go out is to gym . I got myself into boxing to deal with my emotions being so angry I had to let it out and boxing was the best way . I still can't seam to get a job with whats happening here in tasmania it's so hard to find work . I try to keep busy and move on . I feel like a burden on my family and I have no friends I know guys from boxing but that's just when we train I don't get asked to hang out or anything and i seam to keep to myself a lot these days now and I have bad confidence in myself after what my ex did to me . I don't trust girls anymore and I feel at times that I don't like them that they all just players when I know that's not true .i don't know what to do with myself I feel like a loser and the only thing that's good right now in my life is boxing . I feel as if every thing has gotten so bad after being dumped ,and there's times when I look at myself and think you are a disgrace why do you even stick around , it's embracing that I have no job and am living at home with family when I am 24 . What do I do? I feel like I want to just end it all ?

From what you have written your feelings are normal for what has happened to you. You have suffered a deep emotional hurt. These things take time to heal. Sometimes this hurt needs the help of a professional to help you sort through them. Someone you can feel comfortable with who you can trust to keep your confidence. Nothing you have written about is worth loosing your life over.

My son had a very similar hurt happen to him with very similar results. Trouble keeping a job, feeling worthless and just down right miserable. He finally sought the help of a good therapist and with her help he has manged to have some meaningful relationships. His career as a professional firefighter does impede finding a life mate as it is hard to find someone that will take on the thought that it is possible he will go off to work one day and not return home again. Still he is in a much better place today with the help of his therapist than he was without.

I do not know what the medical situation is in your country. If it is possible to get the help of a psychologist to talk to and help you then this is what I suggest. I understand your hurt; I also know there are better days ahead for you and that they will come sooner with the right help.

Hello I'm a 20 year old male that lives in Canada and slept with a 15 year old girl and was lied to about the age, I was under the influence that she was 16 not turning 16 in a week. I am wondering what can come of this? What can I be charged with? Can I be charged? Am I in the wrong? I know I am the adult here but people make mistakes and people lie how are we to know the truth with these lies thrown around so easily, what am I to do in this situation?

I found the following on line at ask.com

Definition: Beginning May 1, 2008, the age of sexual consent in Canada is 16 years old.
The age of consent in Canada is the age at which the criminal law recognizes the legal capacity of a young person to consent to sexual activity. Under the Criminal Code of Canada anyone under the age of 16 cannot legally consent to any form of sexual activity, from kissing to intercourse. It means that adults are criminally liable if they have sex with someone under that age. The offence carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison.

The law has a "close-in-age" exemption of less than five years, which permits teens to engage in consensual sex with a partner who is less than five years older as long as the older partner is not in a position of trust or authority and the relationship is not exploitative

I'm not sure how the "close-in-age" exception would b since you are no longer a teenager and that might be the operative word. Lawyers might call that a technicality.

It seems Canada is a lot more liberal than we are in this area so I cannot be of much help. I'm not sure if the fact that she was or is one week shy of being 16 would be taken into consideration should someone make a legal issue of your sleeping with her. What I can suggest is you seek legal counsel so as to be prepared in the event someone makes a legal issue of this.

Your probably worried over nothing though it is best to be prepared in the event something is said or happens.

hello i am siddhant i want to do sex with a girl who is my negibhour how can i make him agree for this.

You don't make anyone have sex with you. The term make infers force. Forcing someone to have sex with you is rape.

If you want to have sex with anyone there has to be a mutual consent based generally on a loving relationship. Relationships start with dating.

I would suggest you ask this person out on a date and get to know them in a loving rather than neighborly way.

I slept with this guy I'm in love with, and when we were together, he was perfect. I now found out that he isn't willing to give love or relationships a shot, but I've fallen for him hopelessly. I don't know what to do. Can someone please tell me how I can get out of this situation?

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Now that it has let me try to explain the why so you can avoid it in the future.

Fact of life; men and women are wired differently. For a women to have sex she needs to feel love. For a man to have sex it is more mechanical. There is an old saying that a man can have sex with a knot hole if he needs it bad enough.

That statement is fairly true. A male needs little to no stimulation, a female does. A male does not need the security or comfort a female requires. Most of all a male does not need to be in a loving relationship in order to make love. Most women need all the above before they will have sex with anyone for sex for most females is an intimate act that requires a loving relationship.

How you get out of this situation is not to give into him by satisfying his sexual needs. You know he is just using you and is not willing to work at having a relationship. You tell him your not a booty call. If he is not willing to have a meaningful relationship to take a hike. There are more and better men out there then him who will respect you and cherish what you have to give.

Give yourself the respect you deserve by telling him your not his booty call then mean it. Then find the guy that will respect you. This guy is not right for you and he is far from perfect.

does anyone know any motivation to keep wanting to go to school. i really dont want to go anymore. i am SICK OF IT! i am a senior in high school. i want to drop out! i hate it ( i cant drop out my parents will kill me & i never would but..) AHH! but some teachers hate me & there my teachers & i have to deal with it for another semester and some days. i want school to end already!! i'm the type of person that HATES SCHOOl!!!!!!! if you didnt know that already haha! (im female by the way hehe:)

This question calls for some grandfatherly advice. Since I am o that age I will offer some.

I know exactly how you feel. I was not the studious type when I was in high School. I felt my teacher hated me as well. No some 50 plus yeas later I realize they didn't hate me they saw something in me I never saw in myself. This problem continued well into my adult life with my supervisors always seeing something in me I never saw. Fortunately I learned to accept and excel in the challenges presented to me and made a good life for myself and my family.

It is not that your teachers hate you. What they dislike is standing by and watching a talented person with the ability to accomplish more than they are waste themselves. I know what my problem was in high school and how I finally over came it.

I learned in the military I was better than what I thought myself to be. I was bullied in high school and I let that effect me. In the military failure is not an option and bullying is dealt with swiftly by the drill instructors. Still I had my doubts. Then a other things happened that showed me I could do more and better. Finally some years after I left high school I realized that people saw me differently than I saw myself and maybe they saw something I didn't. When I accepted this I started to grow and excel in my endeavors.

Is your problem with high school the same as mine was? I don't know I don't know you. What I do know is that in today's market place for jobs without a high school diploma you will be hard pressed to find a job even at a fast food restaurant. People with college degrees are taking those jobs as there are none other available. Why should a manger higher you with or without a high school diploma when he can have a college educated person for the same money?Someone he might be able to train to help him run his business?

You are going to need at least a two year (AA degree) if you want any chance at decent job. At one time you could be a cop or fire fighter with just a high school degree. Today even though the jobs are posted that a high school degree is a minimum requirement. They are looking for college educated people. The want cops to have Law Enforcement degrees. Fire Fighters today are asked to be Paramedics and would like them to have degrees in Emergency Medicine.

TO work in an office as a receptionist or administrative assistant requires a working knowledge of a host of computer programs. Not just the Microsoft Office ones either. The products many offices use today are learned at secondary education sites or local community colleges which come with AA degrees upon course completion.

So as much as you say you hate school I know there is a reason behind it. Look within yourself and find the main reason, fix it for you need at the very least to complete high school and attend either a trade or application school or a local community college if you want a well paying job.

13, F

I dont know why, but everytime school starts my stomach hurts. I think its nerves, because im scared ill throw up. That causes it to hurt even more!

I tried medication, but it didnt work. What do I do?!

The problem is you are suffering anxiety attacks over something at school. Is there something about school that is bothering you. Is there someone or group of people that are bullying you or teasing you. If so you need to tell someone You need to tell a teacher or the school principal or your parents.

If it is not anything or anyone at school that is bothering you then it might be something at home. If so I would suggest talking to a trusted teacher about it. If there is a problem at home that is affecting you at school there are things teachers and the school system can help with.

If it is none of the above then I would suggest you ask your family doctor or pediatrician to recommend a therapist you can talk with who an help you find out the cause of your anxiety. Therapists are there to help you. Whatever you say to a therapist stays with the therapist and is never repeated back to your parents. When the therapists meets with your parents they recommend things to do to help you at home without reveling what was said in therapy between you.

I am deeply attracted to my teacher, I am obsessed with her and crave her immensely. She is a such a beautiful and perfect lady and very nice to me. I like want to walk by her room and find excuses to
go wherever she is. She is 28 and I am 16. I fantasize about her all the time
and one of my main fantasies of course is having sex with her. How do I
stop obsessing over her nonstop like this. I am going crazy. I want her so bad but I can't have her. I feel like I am going to explode. This obsession is affecting my life

Oh do I remember those days. Relax your normal.

When I was in high school we had an English teacher that was only a few years older than most of the Seniors. She was beautiful and every boy in school wanted her. In fact we all knew her as she grew up in the same area as the district the school served and we had all seen her ever summer at the community pool.

Our lust for her came to an abrupt halt when her boyfriend came to school one day. He was in the military, it was during the Vietnam Conflict. We were all in the lunch room including her when he walked in wearing his dress Uniform. He was a Marine Gunnery Sergeant with a chest full of medals. One look at him and the starch came right out of all of us.

Nothing can happen between you, you know that. Its illegal for one thing. So try picturing her as unattainable. Maybe with a husband or boyfriend like my teacher had.

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