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i have feelings for a married man
ok so here goes, i have strong feelings for a married man, about a year ago he started giving me extra attention in work,nothing to much a hug here and there, he did want to come over to my house a few times but he never did as i wouldnt allow it, he also has tried in the past to kiss me whislt we were in work,which i didnt allow, thing is that i have really strong feelings for him and cannt get over these feelings, i have to see him most days in work and cannot avoid him as we have to work together, i dont want an affair with him, but its getting really hard to work with him and lately i cannot be around him because of how i feel about him, at the moment we arent even talking much only if one of us has a work question for the other, its down to me that we arent talking because i have tried to put up a wall between me and him as i cannt conitune acting the way i used to around him because its getting way to hard for me how can i stop these feelings or should i just tell him how i feel and see can we work it out as i said i dont want an affair i dont want to be the other women in his life,
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From what you have written what is happening between you and this coworker fits the description of sexual harassment and unfair work environment. Both of which are EEOC violations which can cost him his job.
What you should do is first inform him that his advance are not wanted. If he continues to try to kiss you or touch you in Unacceptable manners you will have to go to your supervisor and report him.
If for some reason talking to him in this manner is unsuccessful or you feel there is a good old boys club going on at work then go to your HR department and file an EEOC report with them.
Should you work for a small company where there is no HR department and the owner is the supervisor and nothing is done. Then you can go to your State EEOC office and file a complaint.
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You could try looking at him from another angle:
What a slime ball he is to be acting this way with a woman at work while he has a wife and perhaps children at home.
Remember he's a skeeze of a man.
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It's tough to be working with someone that you're attracted to. But stick with your gut. Don't be the other woman, and don't let him trick you into thinking that you'll be his one day. If he is married and does this to his own wife, then who would you be if he wanted to be with you? Whose to say he doesn't turn around and do the same thing and hurt you.
Just keep your distance.
If worse comes to worse, try finding a new job?
Its hard to stop feelings, so it'll take time.
Tell him you are uncomfortable with his actions if he continues being touchy-feely.
Just keep your head focused with your job, and remember that this isn't the type of man you'd want in your life.
xo
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I would either talk to him about where you both stand and set boundaries or learn to keep it professional and distance yourself. I do not blame you for not wanting to be the other woman and I would also tell him that. Let him become aware of his actions.
You could say " I will not allow myself to become the woman that comes between your marriage. I would like to keep it strictly work related."
You need to keep telling yourself that he is married, Do not allow yourself to be next in line. As if he is willing to cheat on hid wife...then he is not someone you want in your life.
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