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What do I do with myself ? I feel like I want to just end it all ?
I am 24 male I am living at home with my family and I have no job no friends and am really depressed . This all started 8 months ago I used to live in a small mining town in a fifo work camp with my ex fiancee . I had friends really good money job was good and I had a fiancee that I loved ,things were good other than Gove the place as it was isolated and there wasn't much to do but I was independent and my life was going ok for a while . I had a lot of issues with this fiancee she was pretty bad to me she lie to me about everything she flirted with guys in front of me and contacted her ex who wanted to have sex with her and she lied to me about it , she did all sorts of shit to me and yes I was stupid to have gotten engaged to her but I put up with it all because I loved her so much and I thought she would see how good I am to her and change , we were together for 3 years then one day out of nowhere bang she txt me and brakes up with me over a message she couldn't even see me face to face . We worked together side by side at work and we lived together as well , I was devastate I hated coming to work and seeing her all happy while I was so down and depressed I couldn't eat sleep nothing , I tried begging her to take me back and she said ok i will give you anther go, i was so happy i went and got her flowers and candy and come straight back to see her at work at lunch I walked up to her and hugged her and gave her the flowers and stuff, only for her to say to me "um can we just be friends" i was shocked we were never friends and half an hour ago she told me I had another chance ? I told her "we never were friends you know that" , and she said "well I am leaving so that's that" . She burnt me like a fool I was left there with the flowers alone . That day I quite my good job and packed my room up and decided to leave I couldn't be around her anymore . My friends were upset and angry with her for what she did to me and making me feel as if I had to go . My good mate Rhys he went back to work straight up and told my ex that she is a bitch and she should be ashamed of her self , he told her that I was leaving and she fucked me up good he did all this in front of everyone at work to shame her after doing it to me earlier that day . As I was leavening my room that night my ex Kadin come up and told me "please don't go I love you " beau I told her "I love you to but I have to go now I can't see you anymore it's too hard for me" , I left her crying at my room as I left . I was a mess I loved her even tho she was a bitch to me .when I got to my family's place in Tasmania I was hoping to pick up a job fast as I have heaps of tickets from working in the refinery in Gove , I don't know people here as I don't go out only time I go out is to gym . I got myself into boxing to deal with my emotions being so angry I had to let it out and boxing was the best way . I still can't seam to get a job with whats happening here in tasmania it's so hard to find work . I try to keep busy and move on . I feel like a burden on my family and I have no friends I know guys from boxing but that's just when we train I don't get asked to hang out or anything and i seam to keep to myself a lot these days now and I have bad confidence in myself after what my ex did to me . I don't trust girls anymore and I feel at times that I don't like them that they all just players when I know that's not true .i don't know what to do with myself I feel like a loser and the only thing that's good right now in my life is boxing . I feel as if every thing has gotten so bad after being dumped ,and there's times when I look at myself and think you are a disgrace why do you even stick around , it's embracing that I have no job and am living at home with family when I am 24 . What do I do? I feel like I want to just end it all ?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
From what you have written your feelings are normal for what has happened to you. You have suffered a deep emotional hurt. These things take time to heal. Sometimes this hurt needs the help of a professional to help you sort through them. Someone you can feel comfortable with who you can trust to keep your confidence. Nothing you have written about is worth loosing your life over.
My son had a very similar hurt happen to him with very similar results. Trouble keeping a job, feeling worthless and just down right miserable. He finally sought the help of a good therapist and with her help he has manged to have some meaningful relationships. His career as a professional firefighter does impede finding a life mate as it is hard to find someone that will take on the thought that it is possible he will go off to work one day and not return home again. Still he is in a much better place today with the help of his therapist than he was without.
I do not know what the medical situation is in your country. If it is possible to get the help of a psychologist to talk to and help you then this is what I suggest. I understand your hurt; I also know there are better days ahead for you and that they will come sooner with the right help.
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