the right time to go visit a long distance partner?
Question Posted Tuesday January 15 2013, 11:00 am
i have so much to ask this guy I've been talking to..i wanted to ask him before i fly to see him since he lives in a different country but he replies with stop being insecure.. i just don't want to fall for a guy without knowing where he's at with me.(we have been talking for 8 months and dont worry ive met him before) tired of the guys who see only sex in me or im just some fling. i try talking and he just gets upset. if i go see him. and talk face to face would that ruin our 4 day vacation? ugh.. what to do what to do..i just don't want to get hurt or waste my time. for expect anything from our get together.. we don't even talk the way we use to ever since i brought it up.
It had a similar part about flying to see someone you're dating and it's a no no..
Get a map, mark your house location and his house location on the map and guess what? it's the same distance...So why you make the effort and he doesn't??
Xui answered Wednesday January 16 2013, 12:20 pm: I wouldn't go at all personally.
Ninja pointed out something I also was going to point out
This guy has nothing too loose and instead of respecting you by listening too you, he fires back.
I really think being in s relationship with this guy IS wasting your time. From what you have written he is a little manipulative " stop being so insecure?" You have every right to be a bit concerned. This guy shows lack of respect for you and may not be very committed to your relationship as you think he is.
Don't waste your money, I suggest finding someone who is into you and will actually listen to your feelings and respect them. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
NinjaNeer answered Wednesday January 16 2013, 12:09 pm: If his response is "Stop being insecure", you should hold off. You're raising valid concerns, and he's refusing to acknowledge them. If even raising these concerns is causing him to clam up, that's a warning sign for you.
Keep in mind that he doesn't have to put anything on the table for this trip: you're coming to him. It's your money, your time, your risk. He's got nothing to lose.
I'm not reading a whole lot of respect into his actions. He doesn't seem particularly serious, which is understandable seeing as it's a long-distance relationship that hasn't progressed past "talking".
Keep your money for now. Tell him why. If you decide to go later, you'll have the cash, and if you decide not to go you can treat yourself to a weekend in Vegas instead! [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
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