As some others have said, giving good advice can't be taught.

The best advice comes from your own life experience. There's a reason that I almost never answer teenage dating questions. It's because I didn't really date in high school, and I have no clue (also no patience) when it comes to that sort of thing. I answer what I know. It means that you avoid the sort of "I dunno XD hope I helped LOL!" answer that you see from time to time.

When you're going through questions, take a look at the advice that you see from others. I have my favourite columnists, and I've learned a lot from seeing what they have to say.

Don't be afraid of bad ratings. I've had a pretty low average rating before this. Why? Because sometimes people will ask for advice without actually wanting advice. They want you to tell them what they want to hear. That's not advice. They'll rate you low because you dared to go against what they wanted. Don't be afraid of them. Even if you don't get through right away, maybe some shred of wisdom will make its way through.

Aside from that, it's all about having good intentions and being honest.

I'm the same height as you, and when I was 17 I was still in karate. My weight was usually somewhere in the 160-175 range. That's where I was when I had visible abs.

Don't go by weight charts, because they don't take everything into account and they're terribly outdated. Go by your gut: if you're feeling healthy, you probably are.

There is no pill that's guaranteed to kill you. As someone who has attempted to overdose a couple of times, I can tell you that it's awful. You're most likely to wake up with a killer hangover at best, or liver damage, a messed up head, and other nasty side effects. Or you can do permanent damage to your brain and end up a vegetable.

If there's anything I've learned, it's that there's no easy way out of life. Whatever you're going through, you can ride it out. You just might need some help.

Take a look for suicide prevention hotlines in your area. Or you can call a friend if that's not your style. Just talking to someone can put everything in perspective.

Suicide is a final decision. You can't turn your life around if you're already gone. While you're still alive, there's always hope.

I'm like you, for a few reasons.

Firstly, I'm weirded out by other peoples' saliva, so any sort of utensil sharing or potential spit transfer is out. I'm even grossed out by sharing a glass of water with my husband. It freaks me out so badly when someone asks for a sip of my water or a bite of my ice cream.

The other reason for me is that (going with your popcorn example) I get the amount of popcorn that I want. I go into it expecting to have a certain amount, and when someone throws off the balance by demanding a handful, it bothers me. It feels like they're stealing what's mine. My husband has learned that he can't expect me to share unless we've agreed upon it ahead of time.

Everyone has their quirks. Yours just happens to be food sharing.

Ever heard the old saying about the carpet matching the drapes? That's what he's getting at.

Basically, he's hinting that if she's a real redhead, ALL of her body hair should match. Not necessarily true, mind you.

You absolutely should get the police and your parents involved. Parents first, then police.

This guy is in possession of child pornography. Yup. And now he's harassing you? Trust me when I say that your parents will be more worried about your safety and your emotional health than they will be about what you've done wrong. They may be upset with you in the beginning, but it's all in the name of parental love and worry.

Your parents will be able to help you deal with this. It's what they're there for.

Ignore the response that he's gay. That's the voice of ignorance speaking.

Everyone has different things that make them tick. Some are mainstream, some aren't so mainstream. Your boyfriend just happens to know what he likes.

The fact that he is dating you and having sex with you, and not a man, means that he is into women. He's not gay by definition. Straight men can enjoy anal stimulation too! You can stimulate the prostate via the anus, so it can feel really good for the guy.

If you're consenting and comfortable with it, then there's no harm whatsoever, and no need to worry about his sexuality. In fact, it's healthy to experiment and figure out what you like: much more healthy than repressing your urges in the name of "what's normal".

I have a lot of friends who have graduated from engineering already, and believe it or not they're all saying the same thing. That's why most of them have gone on to take college courses or get their masters degrees.

Going to university doesn't really give you hands-on experience. It's mostly theory-based. Companies know that.

For example, my husband graduated in January and started his first job recently. All they required of him was that he knew the broad strokes (he's in civil, so they tested him on his basic knowledge and spatial sense). The rest is stuff they're training him in: 3 weeks of training on the specific program he'll use, then he'll work directly under a senior engineer until he's got the hang of things.

Nobody expects you to graduate knowing how to do much of anything. The stuff you've learned in university is a starting place for you to gain practical knowledge.

I have a friend who is FTM transgendered, so I've learned a lot about the struggles involved.

As for being a topless dancer, it's your body and your choice. You would need to make sure that you're working for good people and that the environment is safe. At some clubs, girls are pressured into doing more than they're comfortable with or more than is legal. There's also a long history of violence against sex industry workers in general.

There's a big difference between having sex because you want to and having sex because you're getting paid to, both emotionally and with regards to safety. It's easy to fall into the trap of easy money, but nothing comes free.

By having sex for pay, you're putting yourself at risk for violence, murder, arrest or being infected with an STI. You don't know the history of the person you're with, and you won't have protection in case things turn sour and he turns out to be a nutjob.

From what my friend has dealt with, I know a little bit about what it's like to live in a body that's not yours. I know it's awful, and the instinctive reaction is to do whatever is necessary to get into your own body. Heck, I know someone who was desperate enough that she sold a kidney (no kidding) to help pay for her surgery in Thailand. Just remember that you lived for 18 years in one shape, and you'll have a healthier body and mind if you can hang on for a little while longer. If you're really having trouble dealing with it, you may want to try seeking a support group or counselling with someone who is an expert in trans issues. You're still young, and you have your whole life to make this journey.

Are your parents also paying for the upkeep of the dog? If so, then you're by far getting the better end of the deal.

My husband and I were looking at getting another puppy, and this is the cost breakdown we came up with based on the costs for our current dog.

Puppy: $300
1st year shots: $300 min for 3 rounds
Spaying: $300-500, depending on the vet.
Food: $150 for the year
Toys, etc: $100 (we like to spoil our dog)

Plus, you need to put aside money in case of a medical emergency. We put aside 50 a month instead of getting doggie health insurance. Our dog got a scratch on his eye that got infected... boom, $400 vet bill. When they get older, especially purebreds, you will encounter medical issues. Dental work, injuries, cancer, etc. Dogs are very, very expensive.

If you want a laptop in addition, maybe you can sacrifice next year's present?

Some guys are sweet and caring and tailor their approach to each girl based on her personality, likes and dislikes.

This can take a while, depending on what they want, so some guys use the shotgun theory.

The shotgun theory is that if you approach 100 women with a very direct sexual message, even if 99 slap you and only one poor lady with self esteem issues goes with it, you put in less effort than wining and dining and you know, taking some time with a woman and possibly not getting anywhere. Unfortunately, it works if you're not looking for a real relationship and if you're not averse to a little STI action on the side.

These guys want sex. They have little respect for women, hence the approach. They're not looking to be friends. And hey, they might be nice guys who would make good friends, but not when they're on the prowl.

A guy best friend isn't all that hard to find. It's all about finding someone with common interests who wants to talk to you with no (or very little) sexual tension. My best guy friend and I are classic rock nerds, both play video games and are pretty dorky. We also don't find each other in the least sexually appealing. It works. I didn't meet him through texting, though. Look closer to home: guys in your classes, guys in clubs that you belong to... if you don't belong to clubs, go join some now, because it's a great place to start. Finding a best friend is a lot like finding a boyfriend, just minus one key component.

Honestly, you should be cheering them on. Regular, amazing sex is a big part of a good marriage. You hear of too many couples divorcing because they're not satisfied with the sex (or lack thereof).

That said, if I had heard my parents back in my teens, I would have been pretty disgusted. So the problem here is that you can hear them, not that they're having sex.

You can try the classic: bang on the wall between your rooms. Or you can go the other route and make it extremely obvious that you've heard everything, but put a little humour into it. High-five your stepfather, or use a key phrase from the night before at breakfast. Just don't get yourself in trouble. If they don't have a sense of humour, just talk to whichever parents is the same sex as you and say "Can you tone down the... noise? It's kind of disturbing and it's keeping me from my homework."

Or ask for a pair of noise-isolating headphones. Those work wonders. ;)

Sometimes when you have sex you can get bacteria and other nasty things pushed up your urethra, especially if you're female. It can cause a urinary tract irritation (or can worsen into an infection).

If it doesn't go away within a few days, you may need antibiotics. In the meantime, drink tons of water and see if that flushes out the irritants. And always make sure that you pee after sex, because it keeps things clean in there!

It really all depends on how many people and what you're planning on doing wherever you go.

Keep in mind that because of your age, your activities in Florida will be limited. No bars, no clubs, etc. If you're looking for wholesome fun like the beach and amusement parks, it might be a good option.

You can get really good deals on all-inclusive resorts in Mexico, even vacation packages that include airfare and transportation to the resort. If you're looking to dance, drink (the drinking age is much lower here) and hang out on the beach, that could be a good option. It also takes the stress out of planning, and you don't have to worry about cooking and cleaning (or paying for restaurants) the way you would if you were in a hotel.

If you're looking for a good deal for a lot (4+) of people in Florida, you may want to look into renting a vacation home from someone. That way you can buy groceries and save yourselves some cash. It can also be less expensive than hotel rooms for that many people.

If you're going the hotel route, hotwire.com can be useful. You specify what area you want and how many stars, and choose based on the price and amenities: the only catch is that you only get the name of the hotel after you make your reservation. Try Hipmunk for flights: it's what I use to compare prices and airlines.

Come up with a few options, price them out and let your friends vote on them. Make sure to include cost of food, gas and time (it may cost less to drive to Mexico, but if it takes 3 days each way it's not worth it!) for each option. Spreadsheets are your friend for this.

Okay. I can give you advice from your future, 10 years later. Yes, I was that kid. I was too smart for my own good, read the Iliad when everyone else was reading Goosebumps, that sort of thing. I may sound a little harsh, but that's because I wish someone had taken me by the shoulders when I was a kid and given me a good shake. My life would have been a lot easier.

It's not just being the smartest kid in class. The smartest kid in my class in high school was also the class president and extremely popular. It's being the weird smart kid.

It's fine to have quirks. Listening to classical music? That will make you cool and give you +1000 hipster points a few years down the road. I collect fossils. Weird "smart" hobbies won't make you disliked. So that's good news! You don't have to change who you are.

The intelligence is really the issue here. But wait! I'm not telling you to dumb yourself down. It's all about knowing your audience. If you start using polysyllabic words around people who don't know what they mean, they won't be thinking "My goodness, what a smart young man that Ron777 is!" They'll be thinking "That Ron777 is a dick, because he keeps using big words to make himself sound smarter than I am."

If you were to write a children's book, you'd have to use different language from a dissertation, would you not? So use different language when talking to adults, to your peers, to your smart friends.

To help you connect more with your peers, I'd suggest giving the mainstream a chance. Did you know that there are some pretty killer classical music covers of regular music? Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin translate particularly well. There's a band called Apocalyptica that covers the music of Metallica with cellos. Or movie or video game soundtracks! You might find that if you don't dismiss certain things as being "low-brow" you may enjoy more. I'm as much a fan of classical as the next person, but even I can get into the occasional catchy Top 40 song. That's just using music as an example.

Just know that it is important to fit in with your peers and that does require modifying your behaviour slightly. That's a lesson I didn't learn until later, and I suffered a lot in the name of being myself. You will find that there are adults who get huffy when they encounter someone who is smart... and you'll know how to deal with them :)

I have a friend who's in the fitness industry. She has a shaved head, wears masculine clothes, and is sort of terrifying to those who don't know her because she's ripped. She's also straight, and gets all giggly like a little girl when she gets crushes on guys.

As others have mentioned, don't assume that because a woman was butch that she is a lesbian. There are effeminate men who like women, and butch women who like men.

Other reasons? She was zoned out and didn't realize she was staring at you. You had something in your teeth. You were looking at her funny. She was wondering where you got your sweater. Or any of the other millions of reasons why one person might stare at another.

If you don't have something like Midol, take some Tylenol or Advil. Make sure to avoid chocolate, caffeine and salty foods, because they just make you bloat more. If you can get your hands on a hot water bottle or a heat pack, use that over your uterus... it's like magic! Also, exercising lightly, even though it's the last thing you probably want to do right now, will make you feel tons better.

Because you're here, asking this question, that implies that you do feel some sort of regret for the past. That's good... that's some sort of connection to the world.

You're not going to find anyone here who can heal you. You'll find a lot of well-meaning teenagers, and a few adults who know a lot about life, but you won't find a psychiatrist who knows your entire case history and biology.

That said, I have a mental disorder of my own, have been in psychiatric hospitals a few times now, have attempted suicide, and had some serious trouble with relationships until the last 5 years. So I sort of know where you're coming from on that front.

Look, you sound like a smart person, based on your writing skills and your grasp of reality. Use that. You may not feel for other people, but surely you can understand that to hurt them would cause negative repercussions for you. It's a matter of doing the right things because they need to be done to keep you alive and well.

As for your friends and relationships, that can be difficult with a mental health issue. People can be jerks once they find out a situation isn't simple. I got through it by keeping my distance from new people until I was sure I could trust them and by being very selective in who I kept around. That way I didn't open myself to being hurt so easily, and I met some great people who have been there for me even when things get really bad.

Keep up the counseling. If you're going to a psychiatrist, keep doing that as well. Just remember that nobody's hopeless. My husband was told at one point early in our relationship that there was no hope for me; that I'd always be the way I was. Things have changed with the right treatment. I know every disorder is different, but you never know when they'll crack yours. And if all else fails, pragmatism rules. Any species' main goal is to keep existing. Doing the right things will cause you to keep existing in a way that you want to exist (i.e. not in prison or the hospital)

If you're feeling degraded, objectified and unhappy, things are not good the way they are. If he's not accepting your requests to stop talking like this, then he's not respecting you, and that is a big problem.

My husband has a particular kink that I'm really not into (just like I have kinks he's not into). He tried to get me involved, and boy did I ever try in the sake of open-mindedness, but I felt it was degrading and didn't like it. So now he relegates it to his "alone time", and we're both happy. It's a give and take sort of thing.

He doesn't have to change who he is. He just has to focus his interests elsewhere. A compromise is definitely in order. You two have to decide what works for you, but if one partner is unhappy and uncomfortable and the other is just not getting what they want, the unhappy one gets priority. Maybe if your boyfriend understands that you've considered leaving him because of this difference, that would open his ears. If he won't stop introducing it while you're mid-coitus, then just stop having sex with him until such a time as he can behave himself and respect your requests. I'm not an advocate of withholding sex as a punishment: it's just that his refusal to comply with your request makes sex totally unappealing to you, so you should protect yourself.

If you can't ignore it, you might as well enjoy it.

No, I am not telling you to go for it... that would be disastrous. However, crushes are pretty harmless if you recognize them for what they are and deal with them appropriately.

It's normal to have crushes. Look at your crush on your boss, know it for what it is, and enjoy it. Hey, they're kind of fun to have. Just remember that you see him at his best. At work, he has to be charming and well-groomed and well-dressed. At home he probably clips his toenails on the living room couch, snores like a chainsaw and doesn't shave for 3 days straight. You get to hang out with the cute, funny part without any of the gross parts (also without any of the deeper parts of a relationship). That's why crushes are fun. You can enjoy the eye candy, then send him home and look for someone who's compatible, equally attractive and funny (if not more so) and just right for you.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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