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creepy guys.
why can't a guy text a girl without being a total creep? Every guy that texts me either want to have phone sex with me or talks about sex in general and asks me personal questions about my sex life. I'm a virgin. I plan on waiting atleast until I find the right person. I don't want to have phone sex with some random. I know the guys that are texting me, like they go to my school but I never talk to them in person. Why can't a guy just be friends with a girl? I'm 17 btw if that matter. I know that's all guys think about at that age but seriously how can they expect to get any if they're that creepy? I want a guy best friend, why is that so hard to find?!?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The best way to deal with those texts is to ignore them and block those users. Guys often do that not just for the thrill of sending a sexual message to someone, but because they want to get a rise out of you. Don't take the bait. You're dealing with boys who have yet to grow up and you need to look at it in that context.
Half the population of this country has an IQ under 100. Remember that. It makes dealing with cretins easier to understand.
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I compleetly disagree with HAPPY-PILLS i have a lot of best guy friends and only one out of them is gay :/ also not every guy is like this maybe ur just attracting the wrong type of guys , or maybe the guy is just talking to you for one thing, tell him strate and dont listen to perthetic guys with bad advice. Hope i helped LF xxxxx
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cause that is all that goes threw our head. every single guy is like that. even the nicest guys are like that they just dont act like dirty pigs. if you want a best guy friend become freinds with a gay guy. ( and if that affends anyone for some reason im sorry)
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It is the hormones at this age.
Mostly they are acting out because they want to seem cool.
The thing is with guys, its hard to find someone you can trust.
Some guys can be sweet babes, but others can be real dicks.
This is my professional and personal view of guys in general.
It takes a really long time until you find a guy that is actually nice and kind.
Guys at your age want to act out.
They think that you girls like that kind of stuff and they want to show off.
Some one needs to tell them that they are going all the wrong way.
You should see that most of guys that are actually nice have more girls than dick heads.
I find it totally right that you want to wait for the right guy.
I really do think that that is the right way to go.
You are one of the very few good minded teenagers in this world.
You should be really proud of yourself. I congratulate you, really!
-Ask Alice
If you have any further questions or details please email me at AskAliceMadisson@hotmail.com
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Because.. guy's are dicks.
Plain and simple. VERY few guys out there actually want a girl for who she is.. not for what she has. I have the EXACT same problem. i get guys texting me ALL. the time asking for pictures, andd to hookk up, etc. It's extremely annoying. It's really hard to find a guy who will just be FRIENDS with you & that's it.. Unless you're a whore, you may have a guy friends. but not too many that are close..
Good Luck, & remember to never change for anybody else. (:
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Men are stupid. I say this as a guy myself. Maybe 10-15% of guys are both intelligent and aware enough to get social interaction, social cues, and what "tact" means early on.
The rest send you texts like that because they're giant children gleefully seeking sex like 6 year olds hunting for their favorite toy in a store. Some of them will never grow up, and will grow to hate women and likely die alone. Some of them will grow up and realize how stupid they are/have been and will fix it. Some of them will meet a girl who tolerates it/is a child too and they will be forced through the trials of being immature in a relationship to grow up.
Ninja's shotgun theory is more common in college. While some of them might be doing that in high school, the greater number simply do not know that shit like what you're getting is inappropriate. I've seen guys who actively want a romantic relationship try that approach because they don't know what the hell they're actually doing and don't see a problem with being stupidly forward.
Guy best friend...good luck. Rahzie's pretty much right. Most guys will interpret your desire for friendship as desire for more and constantly hope you miraculously decide they're worth sleeping with, even if they say they're fine with being just friends. They call this "Friend Zoning" and it basically means that a guy will be your friend and do things with/for you hoping it inspires you to sex, and that he's probably far too chickenshit to actually make his desires known.
Tell guys who are creepy that they're creepy. Point out "that's inappropriate, immature, and makes you incredibly unattractive to women" when guys think it's alright to ask personal questions and make sexual innuendos. And be clear in your intentions and expectations.
You can't really do much about the "nice guy". That's the guy above who gets friendzoned, often they will (if confronted) tell you that they aren't interested while going home and being angry that you don't see "the great guy right in front of you" and fall madly in love with them. This guy is often difficult to distinguish from a normal friend, watch out for excessive chivalry and volunteering to do things for you when outside a relationship.
Find a gay dude. At 17, the easiest way to make male friends is gay guys who simply aren't interested in having sex with you. Being guys themselves they can help you figure out the rest of us.
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Although it sounds a bit nasty, I'm convinced most men are well into their twenties before they learn how to have female friends.
I went to a really liberal school and grew up in very progressive community, but even still, it was late into my university years before most guys learned that they didn't have to be trying to sleep with every girl they have a decent conversation with. They were learning (and so were the girls) what an adult friendship actually looked like and behaved like. It's not something we are born knowing how to do, and there is a long time in our teens and young adulthood when sex colours every encounter we have. There is no escaping it - only learning to navigate it.
I think Ninja gave you fantastic advice - spot on. Join a club and approach the guys who seem like nice people. Guys who are not looking for sex don't have the same urgent need to approach every new girl they meet (especially since that girl is likely to misunderstand, or even resent, their approach). Being friends, means not sitting around and waiting for the ‘guy you like’ to pay attention to you. You wouldn’t start a friend with another girl that way, would you? Probably not. So be a friend, and be willing to approach guys for friendship.
Some guys might misunderstand your approaching them - but the one who get it, are the ones you can have a substantial friendship with.
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Some guys are sweet and caring and tailor their approach to each girl based on her personality, likes and dislikes.
This can take a while, depending on what they want, so some guys use the shotgun theory.
The shotgun theory is that if you approach 100 women with a very direct sexual message, even if 99 slap you and only one poor lady with self esteem issues goes with it, you put in less effort than wining and dining and you know, taking some time with a woman and possibly not getting anywhere. Unfortunately, it works if you're not looking for a real relationship and if you're not averse to a little STI action on the side.
These guys want sex. They have little respect for women, hence the approach. They're not looking to be friends. And hey, they might be nice guys who would make good friends, but not when they're on the prowl.
A guy best friend isn't all that hard to find. It's all about finding someone with common interests who wants to talk to you with no (or very little) sexual tension. My best guy friend and I are classic rock nerds, both play video games and are pretty dorky. We also don't find each other in the least sexually appealing. It works. I didn't meet him through texting, though. Look closer to home: guys in your classes, guys in clubs that you belong to... if you don't belong to clubs, go join some now, because it's a great place to start. Finding a best friend is a lot like finding a boyfriend, just minus one key component.
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My dear, how are these kind of guys able to get your phone number? please be very careful because, youre right, they ARE creeps! and you never know what evil they have in their minds, especially if they dont get what they want. So first, try to NOT give your number , just give a different number jumble the numbers IF someone you dont know or like asks for it.. (better yet give the number of the police station!) second,Im glad youre a virgin, stay that way bec i am too and i am reserving it when i get married. You should be friends with the person you give your phone number to... you might want to check your image in school, try to dress a bit conservatively, hang out with the good girls, because maybe the guys are getting mixed signals from you (sorry, i dont know you, just thinking of why they are doing this aside from they are really creeps)...I am sure you will be able to find your guy best friend who is not sleazy or creepy or just want you for their own pleasure..there still are good guys out there, they are just in a different crowd... You are in the right track, just hang on, be good and good things will happen to you! wishing you all the best!
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