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Is it unfair, or am I over reacting?
19/f and my brother is 7.
For Christmas my parents usually spend the same amount on both of us. My parents told me that as long as I'm living under their roof, I'll have a Christmas, which I appreciate greatly; even though Christmas isn't about gifts. It's still good to recieve stuff when you don't have the money to afford it for yourself.
Well anyways; my brother wants junk. Every year he askes for stuff and he either breaks it after a week, or doesn't play with it after a couple of days. They spent $560 dollars on him this Christmas.
Well, for my Christmas, I wanted a Yorkie, A laptop, a Camera, and a stocking (those are my favorite)
and my boyfriend and my parents split the yorkie (150 a piece) and my mom and dad said thats all I'm getting for Christmas. Which is cool, I love my puppy; but I don't see thats fair; or maybe I'm over reacting. I'm a college student, and I don't have my own computer; its my parents and I'm limited to 30 minutes a day; including when I have to do homework; so I'd really like a laptop to help me with school work; so I don't have to rush to write papers, ect. I told my mom, I'd be happy with a 320 dollar laptop from Walmart, and thats it for christmas; and the laptop along with the dog, doesn't even cost more than my brothers. This is something I could use for many years, not just a couple of weeks.
Any suggestions? If I'm over reacting, please let me know.
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At this point you need to start asking yourself why you're upset? Are you really upset because it's not fair? Or is it because now it's his turn to be the only kid in the house? You are 19 years old. If you want something, you should be saving up your money to get it for yourself. It seems like it's not their priority to shower you with everything you want at Christmas anymore, and it shouldn't be. You are not a child, are you? It's time to be appreciative of what you DO get and have, instead of comparing it to a 7 year old kid and feeling wronged because they didn't give you enough. If you want something, work to get it yourself.
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At 19, you're an adult. So you got a dog out of it, which is great (dogs rule!). Anything else you can work for and buy yourself.
Look, you have to have a sense of proportion. You have a roof over your head with hot and cold running water, you eat regularly and your parents sound like good people. That's a pretty good deal compared to what half the planet wakes up to every day. So relax and keep things as simple as you can.
Christmas is mostly for little kids anyway. That your sibling treats his toys the way you describe is pretty common. He's seven and boys are pretty rambunctious anyway. They haven't learned to channel their natural aggression yet at that age.
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First, Christmas as I write this is still 18 days away. You can't stuff the puppy in the closet until Christmas so your parents gave him/her to you early or do you normally get your presents this early. Is it possible your parents are just stalling you until it is time to pass out present?
Second, You are correct; Christmas is all about giving and not receiving. Your brother is 7. What you wrote about him and what he does with his gifts is what 7 year olds do, it normal for a 7 year old. It is also normal for parents to splurge some on a 7 year old for the joy they get from receiving and opening Christmas presents generally adds to the holiday feeling. Parents expect a 19 year old to understand this.
Third, as one other has said. Your Yorkie is a present for which until you leave home, and if you take your dog with you, they will keep on giving. To the tune of a $1,000 or more a year in vet bills, food and other needs of your pet.
What does seem unusual to me is the time limit placed on your use of the family computer. I would understand this if you were 10 to say 14 or 15. As a College student the use of a computer is as you said needed to complete class assignments, in some cases even to communicate with and receives assignments from your instructors. I will assume your parents are paying your tuition which would if I were them want me to afford you every opportunity to succeed.
I suggest you sit down with your parents or which ever controls the time on the computer to see if you cannot work out a better schedule of use. I can understand that one of your parents may use the computer to work from home. If so generally the number of hours worked is not as important as the hours worked from or to. What is important is the amount of work done. At least that what my wife's company's looks at on this occasion during the winter when inclement weather she decides to work from home rather than drive to the office.
So talk to whichever parent you need to and try to find away the both of you can use the computer to get what you both need from it. I would wait though until after Santa arrives though for you never know what the Jolly old man may have in his bag for you.
Sorry about that I couldn't resist, but your parents just maybe holding out on you until Christmas day so you too can join you brother in brightening the Holiday.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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I came from a family where there was a drastic different in age between the eldest and youngest siblings. My mother was fond of saying:
"It's perfectly Fair - it's just not The Same."
I think that applies quite well here. It's understandable that you are upset by this, but the expectation that a 7 year old and a 19 year old being treated 'the same' at Christmas time, has nothing to do with fairness. A 7 year olds needs, desires, wishes and expectations all year round, are completely different from a 19 year olds, and they are especially different at Christmas. Of course he wants disposable junk. He is seven. Of course your parents want to provide a different Christmas experience for him than you. He is seven. Fairness doesn’t always mean equal. You and he don’t get equal rights to drive the car, or to go out with friends, or to spend your own money, or probably even to basic privacy…
So, I think you are completely entitled to your hurt feelings, but that doesn’t mean your parents need to change their actions or are behaving unfairly, and you need to get past your unhappiness and accept that this decision really is theirs to make, even if you disagree with it.
However, you sound like you really could use a computer. It’s becoming a necessary tool for you.
So remove that from the ‘Christmas Gift’ discussion, and instead talk to your parents about needing the tool. Is there an arrangement they can come to with you to help you get this tool? Is there work around the house you could do to help earn this tool? Stop phrasing it as a ‘gift’ and start phrasing it as a “Of course you don’t want me hogging the family computer, but I need more freedom to do my school work. What can we figure out here?”
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Christmas is not about what you get it has nothing to do with the presents whatsoever. I can understand your frustration but you need to understand that it sounds a bit greedy. If you're in need of a computer that much maybe you could save up and get yourself one. Or maybe use a school computer for the time being. The yorkie is a great present and you should be happy with that. If you needed the laptop more than maybe you should have pushed more for the computer rather than the dog.
I always thought about Christmas as the holiday of presents but it's the exact opposite it's about being appreciative of what you have and who is around you. You realize most people would love to be in your position to get a dog and some people can't afford it. My suggestion is save up for a computer maybe get a part time job.
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Are your parents also paying for the upkeep of the dog? If so, then you're by far getting the better end of the deal.
My husband and I were looking at getting another puppy, and this is the cost breakdown we came up with based on the costs for our current dog.
Puppy: $300
1st year shots: $300 min for 3 rounds
Spaying: $300-500, depending on the vet.
Food: $150 for the year
Toys, etc: $100 (we like to spoil our dog)
Plus, you need to put aside money in case of a medical emergency. We put aside 50 a month instead of getting doggie health insurance. Our dog got a scratch on his eye that got infected... boom, $400 vet bill. When they get older, especially purebreds, you will encounter medical issues. Dental work, injuries, cancer, etc. Dogs are very, very expensive.
If you want a laptop in addition, maybe you can sacrifice next year's present?
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