about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
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I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

ok so theres this guy who moved to my school at the begining of last year. ever since then we have been great friends (even though he is a year younger than me). anyways, so after a while i started getting feelings for him but i stopped having those feelings along time ago. And now he keeps asking me out and everything. He even tried to write a song for me, which was really bad but really sweet too. and now that he started having feelings for me it has like ruined our friendship. I mean now when ever i try to just hang out with him he thinks its a date. any advice???
♥LEXI♥

Hey there,
this is always a tough situation to be in for both sides.
but you need to be clear with him as nicely as possible that you just wanna be his friend and nothing more tell him you love him but not in a boyfriend girlfriend kind of way,and that when you hang out its strictly as friends.
say how you feel things are different now and you dont want them to be and you dont want to ruin your friendship,
hopefully he will understand,this happend me and things were awkward for about or week or two and it was hell because we werent talking much so i thought he wasnt ever going to talk to me again,but after you tell him it might be like this for a while but he will come around once he has come to terms with it and accepted it.
he will have a bit of an ego bruise for a while but trust me things should get back to normal.
also reassure him that he will find someone who likes him as a bf
I hope I helped and that things work out,
good luck =)
Much

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Right, I've just been asked out by a really cute guy but I'm really nervous and dont know what to do on the date, so can you please help me with mervs!!!

hey there =]
awh this is totally normal and almost every girl feels this way before a date well i know i do.
the trick is to honestly just relax,and be your self =)
talk to him as you would with any of your other friends,you have so much to find out about him and get to know him.
just be calm and keep convirsation going and remind yourself he asked you out so he likes you youve nothing to be nervous about he probably feels the same way too =)
it might get a little awkward but that sometimes happens and itl get easier as it goes along and you both start to relax and open up more.
remember what i said about being yourself though =)
dont agree with him or go along and say you like almost everything he likes just to impress him even if you havnt a clue what your talking about because trust me that almost always backfires =)
just talk about you and what you like maybe music school movie your families etc.
good luck hope I helped and have fun
Much

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I play volleyball for my school, and I like it, but I wouldn't say it's my LIFE. I mean, I know it won't be my career or anything, I'm mainly just doing it as a hobby and because it's a good way to make friends. Well, my coach is kind of...religious. Not "kind of" actually, like REALLY religious. I don't normally cuss or anything but she won't let us use any swear words or substitutes for swear words (dang, darn, shoot, etc.) She also is completely against us having boyfriends. On of my friends who was on the team gave her boyfriend a little kiss and my coach saw, and my friend got kicked off. She doesn't allow piercings or tattoos. We can't wear certain things to school even if they aren't against the dress code of our school. Basically, she's just REALLY strict. I mean, I understand that we have to represent our school and stuff and she is a REALLY great coach. Like, the best I've ever had. But I don't really like that some of her rules involve my personal life... For example, I've been thinking about getting a belly button piercing. I've wanted one for a long time, and my mom would let me because she thinks they're cute. But if my coach saw she would totally kick me off :( I've been thinking about quitting lately... I love playing and all my team mates, but it just puts limits on my personal life. I just don't like having to always think "Is this going to get me kicked off?". Well, thanks for reading. Any and all advice is welcome.

Hey there,
what your caoch is doing is totally unfair and not acceptable.
she shouldnt be able to get away with making up ridiculous rules like that.
she shouldnt be making rules that involve your personal life at all thats none of her business and to threaten to kick you off and to stop you from playing volleyball which a hobby you like doing is ridiculous. shes not going to keep alot of team members with this attitude thats for sure,
id advice to maybe speak to the principal about it?see what he/she might be able to do? if you havnt already,
or maybe see how many of the other team members feel that way and arrange to bring it to her attention explain how you have a lot of respect for her as a coach and her rules but you feel as if some of them are really irelevant and involve your personal life and you feel as if you can't do this or that for fear of getting kicked off even if they have no actual relevance to the sport and don't even affect it,tell her its not fair for her to be making rules according to her own preferances is thats not what coachs are supposed to do.
thats all really I can tell you,just try speak to her yourselves,or the principal or even get some of your parents to hopefully she will realise and change the error of her ways so you can continue playing without it stopping you from doing other things,if nothing changes i strongly advice you quit,you shouldnt have to but its not worth it.
good luck hope i helped
much

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so me and my friend are legit biffs like we cant go a day with out talking and all and im really getting feelings for him. i know i am going to tell him my feelings but i am leaving for vacation for 10 days and he said that he will be calling me alot. (he even said the alot pasrt) and he wants to go the the movies when i come back. the thing is im worried that if i tell him before all of this happens then all of this will disappear and never happen. so should i wait till after the movies which is the last thing? i want to tell him at perfect timing. when is that?? thanks in advance!

hey there =]
I think you should wait untill after the movies and think about things on vacation,see what way he reacts to you when your gone if he says he misses you like crazy and stuff when hes calling you.
see how the movies go and how he acts towards you try and determine whether he might feel the same way back by his body lanuage etc.
way to go for being so brave and telling him alot of people don't do that beacuse they are afraid and possibly let the chance of a great thing happening go!
its never easy telling your friend you like them so, good luck =)I'm sure he will feel the same for you too,and if he doesnt honestly dont worry things will be fine two of my friends told me they liked me but i didnt like them that way and things are still great between us. and ive told guy friend ive liked them and they havnt liked be back and its been fine too.
it might be a little awkward at first while the person is coming to terms with the answer.
anyway hopefully this wont even happen,
hope i helped
much

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My boyfriend and I have been having issues lately. It's summer break and naturally we are seeing a lot less of eachother. I haven't seen him in over a week which is strange seeing as we usually see eachother every day. The problem is that I'm not taking it so badly. He thinks that I don't want to see him, but that's not it. I don't really like summer vacation because I feel like I'm kind of useless during it, but at the same time I'm an independent person. My boyfriend isn't exactly like that, he's a lot more affectionate you could say. I feel like there's all these things that couples are supposed to do and I just don't want to lose myself but it feels like I'm hurting him and this is hurting me too. I know this isn't much of a question but I just don't know what's wrong, we just both feel crappy about this and won't stop arguing about stupid things. :/

Hey there,I understand what you mean my friend is the exact same way in relationships shes not very affectionate and hates the actual effort of a relationship yet when shes not in one she wants to be and when she is she cant be botherd its just something you have to get past.

what you need to do is stop concentrating on what couples are supposed to do and focus more on the two of you and what you want to do.
go out and just have do things that are fun together it doesnt mean you have to spend every minute together because we all do need time to ourselves explain to him that its not that you dont want to see him just sometimes you need to be on your own because thats the type of person you are.

dont worry about loosing yourself,doing things together with your boyfriend doesnt make you any less like the person you are.
you both have to put asside theese trivial things just arrange some days to do things like go to the movies the mall,beach, bowling etc push yourself to do this and put the effort in its not too much to ask and its not like it will be everyday,because its the only way itl work,you need to communicate and do things together not because you feel you have to but because you want to thats what it should be about,if you feel like your dragging yourself to do it and not having fun etc,then it might be time to rethink the relationship,
I hope I helped in any way and made some sense!
I hope I interuperated this right sorry if ive gotten it wrong =) Just like you said there wasnt an actual question.
anyway good luck!
Much

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I am a 17 year old female about 5'10" and 156lbs.

I want to know if my nipples are normal, my cup size is 36b but my areolas are enourmous and are always soft, unless im cold. They take up almost half my breast... thats a lot of nipple plus they are almost the same colour as my skin, the areolas are just a bit brown, then the nipple is a bit darker.

My friends tell me how they get hard nipples when theyre horny. I just feel weird, with my boyfriend all over me, then he pulls off my shirt and gets this flap of skin instead of a propper hard nip.

Is there a way to make them look more normal? or make them hard?

Hey there
Okay first off your totally normal trust me =)
everyones bodies are different and I guarentee you there is no such thing as a "normal" nipple or what it should look like.
its different for each individual, some have light/dark big/small areolas'
some have "inny"nipples others have "outys"
some peoples go hard,some peoples dont.
honestly just relax chances are your nipples are totally fine =)
just remember were not all the same
if your really that worried and think theres something that may b abnormal (chances are there really isnt)
then you should consult your doctor
hope I helped

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ok so like i have this really great friend and ive been her BFF since 2nd grade. I would do anything for her. But i just found out that shes moving. Because her parents are getting a divorce. Shes moving all the way across the country and her mom is telling her that she can visit once every 2 weeks and that im going to go fly to visit her. and then her mom has been going and telling my mom that its all a lie just to make my friend feel better. and it really hurts watching my BFF get soooooo happy over something thats never gonna happen. im wondering if i should tell her whats going on? any advice???

Hey there,
Im really sorry to hear that my friend moved away when I was really young about 7 its so hard and this probably isnt what you want to hear but it does get easier and you move on and make new friends (doesnt mean youl ever forget your best friend)
what her mom did is very unfair.
she may have just been trying to cheer your friend up and keep her happy for the momment but thats just setting her hopes up and then letting her down its not right,she shouldnt just say things like that without the intention to follow through, its gonna make it worse on your friend now and possibly cuase a fight between them both.
parents do that all the time though lie to us to keep us happy she probably didnt realise the effect that it would have.
I think she deserves to know so she can confront her mom and ask her why she did it?
I don't see why you two can't stay in touch and visit anyway?,maybe not every two weeks but once a month or something maybe?
I mean its not too much to ask get your moms to sit down and talk about it with you two and just be honest about whats going to happen and the situation.
its always better to just know the truth that way you will be able to just accept it.
hope I helped In any way,sorry again to hear
Much

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okayy so i hung out with my ex and one of my best friends and then we met up with 2 other friends, so it was the 5 of us. it was chill, we talked like friends would talk, nothing serious. he brought up things from the past though like i had my favorite necklace on my mirror in the car and he pointed that out and one of my favorite songs was on the radio so he stopped and let it play saying "oh you love this song" when he doesn't like it. then at the end of the night i didn't feel like getting up so i said to like everyone "can someone give me a piggy back ride to the car" and he gave me one. he's been really chill and i want him back, but i don't want to come on too strong. so my questions are, 1. when should i ask him if he wants to go on vacation with me? (he probably does cause he wants me to teach him how to surf lol) and 2. should i just keep hanging out as his friend or should i hint i still love him? if so, how? thank you soo much..i should seriously be paying you haha.

hey there =)
awh its good to see that hes remembering things like this and noticing your necklace and favourite song, its a good sign.
espicially since he gave you the piggy back too it seems like hes starting to think about the idea of how things used to be and maybe getting back to that, id say theres no harm in inviting him to go on vacation say how it will be fun and you can teach him how to surf and ythink itd be better with the company,when are you going on vacation?it depends on the time dont leave it too late to ask like give him a few weeks notice =)
so fairly soon.
definately keep hanging out as his friends anyway because thats the only way things are going to grow more and stuff just leave subtle hints for the time being see if he notices and watch how reacts like flirt alot,touch him and stuff (not sexually obviously lol if you get me.)
if he does it back and gives off signs that he feels the same then you should talk to him about how you really feel if he agrees to go on vacation.
haha its cool,i like being able to help =)


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i'm 14, turning 15 july 21st. i'm 100 lbs and i think im around 5'0 but i could be a little taller. i'm completely flat-chested and really upset about it. when i say flat-chested, i don't mean 32A bra. i mean there's nothing there at all, it's like i'm a 10 year old. i know i may be a little on the small side, but i'm almost 15. no one my age that i have ever met is flat-chested like me.
people say i could be a late bloomer, but i have hair in the places i should, so i know i've started. i don't have my period yet, though, and my doctor told me if i don't by the time i'm 15 they start to worry.
what should i do?

Hey there,
theres nothing really you can do only wait until they do start to grow.
remember everyone is different! and our bodies grow and devolop at different ages and times your completely normal I know it may seem frustrating just waiting for the to come along but they will eventually your doctor is right they should come along when you start your period.
my friend is 16 and shes only a 32A now she just started hers not so long ago she was the same as you =) but they are growing so relax and be paitient in the meantime,use padded gel bras to plump your chest up NEVER stuff your bra though it just looks ridiculous and its obvious.
if in time when you start your periods and you find your boobs arent as big as youd like them to be don't worry just try learn to accept yourself and your body for who you are everyone has things about their body they wish were smaller bigger or different in some way trust me =]
its about learning to love what youve got and work with it
hope I helped!
Much

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i finally found my perfect guy. we are compatible mentally, sexually, physically, any way really. there's one problem though- his mother hates me.
she'll talk about other girls around him, or try to hook him up with other girls. she thinks i'm not mature enough for him since i'm a bit younger than he is. What can i say to her to make her see that i am actually mature enough for her son?

Hey there,
you cant really say anything you will just have to continue to be yourself and proove to your boyfriends mom that you ARE mature enough and that you both really really like each other,hopefully she will see that her son his happy with you and she will stop trying to hook him up and such and just be happy for him like she should be!
in time she will come around to the idea,and she should apologise to you for making you feel uncomfortable also.
have you talked to your boyfriend about it?
if you havnt tell him its quite upsetting to you and maybe he could have words with her.
some mothers are like that always wanting the absolute best for their son sometimes oblivous to the fact that he may have already found her! (you lol)
tell her you really do like her son and wouldnt do anything to hurt him and that you respect him and her and you wish she could be happy for you two.
hopefully she will see sense =) if she doesnt shes just going to have to accept the fact that hes with you like it or lump it,
hope I helped good luck
much

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I'm a 16 year old girl, not allowed to talk to boys, not allowed to have a boyfriend, and not allowed to hang out with guy. It's not that I like a guy and want a boyfriend, because I don't, but I have some guy friends that are strictly friends, but I'm never allowed to hang out with them. I've snuck around and have done it anyway, but I don't like that. My friends that are girls get mad when I always "ditch" them when they're hanging out with guys because I can't. I'm even going to a sleep away chorus camp, and my mom asked me if boys would be there. Of course there will be! Then she said that maybe I shouldn't go. The only guys I've hungout with are gay/pass as gay, and one of them is my neighbor that I've known forever, and she still got mad about that. I can understand why she doesn't like guys. Her sister got pregnant at a young age, and she doesn't trust any guy because of that, but that won't happen to me. I'm really self conscious about my body, so I'd never let a guy see me naked, I would be killed if I got pregnant, I want a future that includes college, and I don't even want kids of my own. I'm planning on adopting. What can I do to convince my mom to let me be friends with guys? I'm going to be a junior in high school and no guy is going to ask me to jr. prom because I'm not even allowed to talk to guys. It happened this year with the sophomore dance, and I just want to have a social life that includes guys.

Hey there,sorry to hear your mom is like that.
I think your best bet is to sit her down and basicly explain everything that you have here,
tell her how much you hate going behind her back and being FRIENDS with guys doesnt mean your going to get pregnant or anything,you need to have a balance in your life that includes both guys and girls tell your mom that what shes doing to you isnt healthy and its getting you down i mean stopping you from talking to guys is ridiculous shes not helping with your confidence or self estem.
tell her your fears of not being able to go to prom with a guy etc,the idea of not letting you go to chorus camp because of guys being there is stupid shes stopping you from basic life expierences because of guys she cant sheild you from them forever! she has to loosen up and let go,
so my advice is to still her all this exactly calmly tell her that she raised you well and your responsable enough and respect yourself enough to not do anything with a guy.
if talking to her doesnt help,try talking to another family member or friend or friends parent even anyone who could be able to get through to her.
this is probably her way of trying to "protect" you but what she doesnt realise is its doing more damage then good and will have the opposite effect of what she wants which is you rebelling and going behind her back ask her is that what she wants.
good luck,hope I helped in any way and that your mom lightens up.
if she doesnt just talk to guys anyway seriously like you sad you need a social life that includes them shes not gonna know if youve been talking to them at school or not.
much

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18/f.
my boyfriend is a singer and he is kinda sorta really big and famous. i mean not like all american rejects or something, he isn't on any radio stations or anything (yet!) but hes pretty good & well known i would say. hes kind of as big as the maine.. kind of, getting there. ANYWAY. i've been touring with him for a few days now & its been a lot of fun. at the end of his show, i keep finding myself jealous. i knew i would be like this, but i can't help it. all these girls that talk to him & stuff. i just get really jealous. we just started dating again recently because before me like when he was in high school he went through a really bad relationship. it bothers me that he still writes songs about her. their not like love songs their hate songs, like how shes a liar and stuff. but still, hes still thinking about her. i love him and everything, but we just have a lot of ups and downs. i don't know what i'll do when this tour is over. it ends in august and i just can't imagine not getting to see him again for awhile. he'll probably be touring again during my school year. he dropped out of highschool and ever since then hes been touring like nonstop. its hard to have a relationship when hes always gone. i know he would never cheat on me but still. i love him so much and i'm so happy were dating again finally. how do i get past these stupid insecurities?

Hey there,ok first off its completley normal to feel the way you do almost every girl has similar isecurities,and worries and such in relationships,the slight fear that he could still be interested in someone else or go with someone else,the jealousy of the attention he gets from other girls.
the trick is to remind yourself YOUR the one hes with now he wouldnt be with you if he was interested in anybody else.
think to yourself all those girls can try flirt with him but at the end of the day hes mine
as for the songs i really wouldnt worry to much,or put to much insight into them hes just expressing his past emotions of anger etc through his music alot of artists do that it doesnt mean he still loves her or thinks about her often trust me she just happens to be of convience for a song =]
im sure he will write one about his love and good times with you sometime too.
if your that worried talk to him explain to him how much your gonna miss him when hes gone that you worry he still thinks about his ex,it might be best to just avoid bringing it up incase it starts an un-nessecary row.
he doesnt show signs of being interested in anyone else does? does he flirt with other girls etc?
if he doesnt chances are your just being paronied so you shouldnt mention it.
sure itl be hard while hes gone and youl miss him like crazy but sometimes that does good for a relationship the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder =]
keep in touch through text etc,keep busy with your friends and school work and itl fly keep your mind on other things do this every time you have a worry or doubt about him or the relationship to side track yourself
hope I helped in any way,
good luck
much

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So, one of my good friends has been going out with this girl, who is presumably insane.
The first time he had broken up with her, she jumped in front of a truck, and later keyed his car (Mustang GT).
He's going out with her again, but her jealousy is starting to affect our friendship.
She has this idea that everyone is out to steal her boyfriend, and basically restricts him from most of his friends.
Another friend of mine, a girl, had been talking to his girlfriend. She was accusing my friend of talking shit about her boyfriend, and when questioned, the she told her that the only person she's been talking about him to, was me.
So without asking me about it, his girlfriend runs off and tells him that I've been talking shit.

I just recently figured this out (A matter of hours ago). This would be an explanation of why he had stopped talking to me, well, about a week or so ago.
But the problem is, I have no way of contacting him. He's ignoring my calls and texts, and I rarely see him now.
I have no clue what to do. I've considered talking to his roommate (Also a friend of mine) and asking him to talk to my buddy about it, but I'm not sure how that would turn out.
I'm desperate to get my friend back. Please help.

Hey there,
first off i want to say im sorry to hear that your in this situation its a pretty sh*ty one to be in.

it was extremely unfair of her to run off and say that to your friend,without knowing the facts this girl seems extremely selfish and controlling it looks like shes trying to stop your friend from having any sort of a life that involves anything or anyone other then her.
the girl needs help,maybe theres something in her life,past situations etc or whatever causing her to be this way.

your friend can't see it because he is too consumed in the idea of a relationship he NEEDS to break up with her before he looses everyone around him that he cares for the most.
id advice you to definately talk to the room mate tell him to ask your friend to just hear you out that you didnt talk shit you deserve at least that much.

if this fails send him one last text,email or leave a voice mail saying your worried about him & miss hanging out with him and that you think the girl isnt doing him any good and that hes loosing his friends and stuff over her let him know your still here for him if he decides to want to break up.

try be paitent with him and dont give up on him just yet,he will figure it out for himself and sadly all you can do is wait for that to happen and be there for him afterwards
if you keep telling him all the stuff he doesnt wanna hear right now itl push him further away.

id also sugest if he decides to break it off with the girl maybe get him to speak to one of her friends or family members that hes worried about her get them to keep a close eye on her too incase she tries anything like jumping in front of a truck again!

good luck,sorry I couldnt be of more help thats all you can really do hopefully he will come around soon enough,at least you know youve tried and been a good friend =)
Much

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okay so my parents divorced when i was about two, and my mom has been married three times (none of them worked). and it's fine now me and my mom are best friends. my dad's been married once more and now has 4 kids.

I visit him every summer and Christmas to Louisiana, because i live in Florida with just me and my mom and little brother.Every time i come here for the summer it gets harder and harder to stay long and see my WHOLE family over in Louisiana, its all my cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles over there. So every time I come to visit him i try to see him every time he takes off of work. But for some reason if i ask to go see my cousins or other family members him and my step mom come up with the answer "no" for absolutely no reason! Ive stood up for myself and told them i need to see my family. But it can never get through to them. Also i have an older brother that lives with my grandma, and he's a great kid the best influence and me and him are really great friends/siblings. never ever fight. but when i ask to go see a movie with him, or the mall, or just spend the day with him the answer is still no with a big fight ? don't understand it. and by the way i don't do anything bad, i know right from wrong. No smoking or anything like that. what should i say to them??? It doesn't make since (its mostly my step mom)

hey there,
okay this is totally unfair and unaceptable!
nobdoy should be stopped from seeing their family!
since you have already talked to your dad and step mom i sugest maybe you tell your actual mom back in florida?(if you havnt already) tell her how upset this is making you and maybe she can talk to your dad because they actually cannot stop you,is it your dads family or your moms family in lousiana?
either way ask your mom to speak to him tell him its not fair.
if the family isnt in any way blood related to your step mom then as far as im concerned its really non of her business or not or place to stop you.
if none of this works i sugest the next time you go see you dad just go see your family anyway,whats the worst they can do?
they cant punish you for wanting to spend time with family thats ridiculous!
or ask your mom to come along with you if she wouldnt mind,and your little brother,and you can all visit them together that way your dad and step mom cant object?
i dont know what the circumstances are with your parents whether they talk or not so just making sugestions =]
hope it all works out for you and that i helped in anyway.
good luck
much

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well, my ex boyfriend and i not matter what, i feel are always gonna be attracted to eachother. we went out for 6months, since dec. 17, 06 and maybe more, on and off. i really like him but, i just don't want a boyfriend. we are gonna call my ex boyfriend frank. i first brokeup with frank to go out with this kid josep. i have always found josep attrative because we play a sport together. a week later josep breaksup with me because he never really liked me. he just wanted to give me a "chance". minding you, josep and i did alot in a week, if you know what i mean.. than i went back out with frank, for like a week and than i i dumped him for the second time. than i move on to this kid who has been my bestfriend since kindergarden. we are gonna call him ryan. he did some stuff together.. but, like he was soo i think he was just doing it for me. yeah, the list countinues but, my question is am i slut? ive went through like more than 5guys in 2months..??

Hey there,okay i wouldnt say your a slut,but if you keep going this way your going to really percieve yourself as one.
and im sure you dont want that,id advice you to just focus on one boy you TRUELY like.
also don't get into a relationship just for the idea of it,and not the actual person if you get me.
be in a relationship for the person not the perks that come with it.
get to know the guy more before you do anything sexual with them or you will come off as a slut, leave it longer also concentrate on getting to know them and having fun kissing touching etc..THEN move on to the more serious stuff.
you dont want guys thinking your "that girl" who is easy and will do this and that etc.
respect yourself more and guys will too.
good luck hope i helped =)

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Ok first I would never betray a friend even if his girl wanted to go out with me. I'm just curious so maybe she might have a friend like her she could hook me up with, I would have loved to have met her first but things didn't happen that way and she and him are a perfect match she was browsing girls with me on a site then she said lets find you a girl with black hair (she has black hair) then out of nowhere she said here you might like her shes got purple hair (she has blue in her hair) then we where going somewhere and she asked me to do something I said no then she said she would without thinking I said yeah I'll do it to, then she laughed looking at her boyfriend(my friend) and said told ya,
It sounded like I told you so kinda laugh but neither said anything else after that like they both know I like her, Like I said I couldnt betray a friend just wondering if she knows I like her or am I just making something of nothing, im afraid of asking her to hook me up with someone like her if she doesnt know (just dont want to cause an awkward moment) because she is really cool I like being friends with her to.

hey there,
this is always a horrible situation to be in,liking your friends gf.
i know exactly how you feel ive often liked some of my friends boyfriends and gotten jealous and stuff
i think she could know you like her,if your giving off obvious signs?(dont know if you are its tough to call)
im not quite sure if trying to find a clone of her is the best idea to be honest,because that might nearly be impossible.
you will get over this girl trust me =] and youl find someone who is just as good as her,at first yeah its gonna be hard and youl find yourself comparing every other girl out there to her,but that will go away the trick is to just keep busy and keep her out of your mind distance yourself from her a little bit until your sure you can be around her all the time without feeling anything other then friendship for her until it gets easier for you.
not all girls are the same so you need to be open minded if that makes sense and the one for you will come along she may seem like the most amazing girl at the momment but honestly that will fade.
maybe ask her if she has any signle friends she could hook you up with instead? defenatly dont say "ones that are like you" because that will come off bad and your friend might get pissed at you and think your trying to take her from him espically if they dont know you like her.
hope i made sense and helped in any way!
good luck
much

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so i've been talking to this guy Z and i know that he used to be a really big player. and i brought it up to him. he said that he used to be but he hasnt had a hook up sence march. he said that i deserve better and that he would just be screwing himself over if he were to do that because hed still want to be friends. he said taht lately hes been focusing on school and sports. since he plays 4 ha. but as i was talking to him he was talking to a girl i know A about how they used to be so good together. idk what to do because he seems like a really cool guy. shouldi hang out with him to get to know him? i want to but i dont want to get screwed over... i need advice.

hey there,there is nothing wrong with befriending this guy and actually getting to know him
dont write him off because of rumors,he could actually be a great guy
just talk to him more as a friend dont go into it thinking what if i get with him and he screws me over?
take each day as it comes and dont over annaylise him or anything if im making sense?
just hang out with him and judge for your self after you get to know each other more you could start to devolop feelings for each other who knows,and if it comes to that tell him your fears of being screwed over and get some reassurance.
you wont really know what happens you just have to judge his character carefully if he does show signs of being the playerish type well then definately dont get involved with him as more then a friend.
hope i helped and made some sense! =]
good luck

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well ive had a job at dunkin donuts for about a week now. but i only work once a week because there are too many people working there and no one has many hours. -.-'' anyways, so i go in today, and for about thirty minutes, all im doing is standing around doing nothing. everyone has everything covered, im not really needed. the manager even told me that i might have to be sent home early cuz i wasnt needed. this disappointed me, but whatever. then about 45 minutes of doing nothing, i start feeling really dizzy. then i feel nauseous and i start blacking out. so i go to sit down and the lady asks me if i want to go home, since i felt sick. and i said yes. so i called my mom and she said she'd come and get me. when she came to pick me up, all she did was yell at me and basically accuse me of faking it and just being lazy. she wouldnt listen to a thing i was saying. then when she dropped me off at the house, she said i had to go to bed and that i couldnt go anywhere. i was pretty pissed at her, so i went to bed and tried to go to sleep. then when my dad came home, he had asked me what happened, what was wrong, and i just broke down crying and saying i didnt like working, i hated it, i hated the job, the hours sucked, the money wasn't that much, and that mom was being a bitch and stuff. so i pretty much convinced myself i was gonna quit. when i calmed down, i went to go tell my mom i was going to start looking for a different job, and that i was quitting. she got really pissed and basically kept calling me pathetic and stupid and that i was just a big disappointment. finally i just walked out and got sick of it all. then i went on a walk and called a friend and while we were talking i had an epiphany and went to go tell my dad about it; that i was going to keep working there, but looking for a different job while doing that. and in my free time, go volunteer at the library. i was excited because my dad said it was a good idea, and so i went to tell my mom and she wouldnt listen. she just kept rolling her eyes and saying she didnt wanna hear what i had to say and said she didnt want to talk about it anymore.

so, my mom pretty much hates me now. just because i left sick on my second day of working. she wont look at me or talk to me, and everytime we do talk, she just yells and screams and its driving me nuts. how can i get her to calm the hell down and just listen to me?? i want to make her proud of me but apparently thats just not possible anymore! any help is greatly appreciated. 16/f

Hey there,
okay it looks to me like your mom is being EXTREMLY unfair to you,your doing your best to make her happy and proud as you say and all shes doing in return is shouting at you and making you feel worthless.
this isnt going to achieve anything only stress anger and hurt for you
at least your dad seems to be there and to understand you need to talk to him tell him how upset your mom is making you and that you wish she would just listen to you maybe he could explain it to her?
get her to calm down and just hear you both out then you can all sit down and work it out.
tell her what good is going to come from calling your own daughter names like that? shes expecting too much from you at 16 and its not fair most 16yr olds just sit around and do nothing i bet she hasnt stopped to think about that.
she should be encouraging you and helping you she needs to wise up and listen before she pushes you away completely
if her behaviour continues dont listen to her, like dont let her bring you down..she may think she means well by pushing you to do more but shes doing it the wrong way.
tell her all you wanna do is make her proud but shes making that very hard to do hopefully she will see sense and things will pick up
hope I helped in anyway and its good to have your dad there to understand at least,
good luck

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14/f

There was this guy I went out with for two months in December through February. This break up was both of our faults. It was lack of communication. I have a hard time talking to guys I like.

He was important to me and I still see him. He goes to my church. A big lie was involved too. So that definitely didn't help at all. I don't talk to him at all anymore though.

I kinda want to talk to him a little bit though. I don't exactly want him to get the impression I would want to get back together with him. If something was important, we should've been talking about it. But it didn't go that way. It was through friends. That was basically most of our problems were caused because that's mostly how we were talking. He knew I wasn't exactly the talkative type, he isn't either.

I know he liked me alot during the time we went out. I thought it was so sweet. We didn't have any problems like he was a jerk or anything just the fact of all that and he changed schools. So it was kinda different. I probably could ask him if he is still mad about what happened with that lie. But I can't do it with my friends. My friends aren't really into him. One of them liked him before so its kinda weird and I know she would flirt with him more. Then my other friend hates him, she just hates random people. Its kinda weird.

I know I'm 14 and I'm gonna have other boyfriends but I want to see if anything could happen again. Do you think its possible? In the mornings for a little I'm alone and I could go sit and talk to one of his friends. I'm friends with his friends so it would be normal. Thanks for any help.

Hey there,
okay what you need to do first is to just get back talking to him as a friend first,you say you find it hard but just relax and talk about things youd normally talk about with any other friends forget the fact that hes a guy,that you happen to like consider him as just another friend it should help that side of things.

dont talk to him with any intentions of getting back together,like what i mean is dont get your hopes up just start off trying to be his friend again then go from there see how things go and see what happens maybe something will maybe it wont you just have to go with the flow and see.

as for your friend who hates random people thats her problem dont let that stop you from talking to him just because SHE doesnt like him its not fair also ask her whats her reason if she doesnt have one well then as i said her problema and its extremely immature,we all have those type of friends who flirt with the guys we like trust me i have one sometimes they dont even realise their doing it so talk to her tell her you still kinda like him and she should stop and if she doesnt and delibratley does it around you then im sorry but what kind of a friend is she?

anyway back to the issue of the ex,you say you talk to his friends,so why not ask one of them is he still mad about the lie?
or you could just go up to him yourself and say you would really like to get back talking to him as a friend tell him sorry for the lie and you hope hes not mad.

hope i made some sort of sense and helped in any way
good luck!
much

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i'm 16 and she is 14 we're best friends and have been for a long time how do i know if she likes me?

Okay,well does she give you any signs to sugest that she may like you as more then a best friend?
does she flirt with you?compliment you alot seem really happy while your around?do you make her laugh etc.
you have to look and determine if there is any signs.
I cant tell you whether she likes you are not because im not around you two nor am i inside her mind.
you could ask some of her other friends does she maybe like you as something more?..
or you just do the really brave thing and ask her yourself =]
just read the signs carefully first,okay?like you wouldnt want to ruin your friendship if thats really all it was for her if you get me?
so just watch carefully see if theres any flirting etc.
good luck hope I helped,

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